What to Read After FSOG: The Gemstone Collection (WTRAFSOG Book 3)

by Lauren Hawkeye

  “Zoe,” he said and it came out strangled.

  “Don’t touch me,” I hissed, taking a few steps back.

  “Please, Zoe. Let me explain.”

  “No.”

  “Why are you pushing me away? I want to make this better. I can’t…” He ran a hand over his face. “Why won’t you let me explain?”

  Suddenly, I didn’t feel so numb anymore. Anger welled up inside me and it was all I could do to stop myself from punching him in the face and giving him a matching bruise. Instead, I let it all out. “Because when your boyfriend of three years that you love and trust comes home and tells you he’s been seeing another woman for six months behind your back and that they’re getting married a week from fucking Tuesday…” I almost choked on a sob and clutched my arm to my stomach. “He broke more than my life. That kind of shit destroys a person. It destroyed me for such a long time and fucked if I’ll let someone else do it to me again.”

  He was looking at me open mouthed and I swore he might start crying. There was nothing else to say, so I just turned and walked away. Let him go back to Mish. Let him do whatever he wanted. I couldn’t care anymore. I don’t care.

  But he grabbed my arm again, stopping me from running away. “Zoe, you’re everything to me. Don’t say this meant nothing to you.”

  I wrenched myself away again and I slapped him in the face, hard. “It meant everything,” I hissed as his hand came up to his face in wide-eyed surprise. “Then you shit all over it. I let myself care and all it did was this. You do it once, then it’s only a matter of time before it happens again. I won’t be that person ever again. I won’t let anyone else be that person.” I took a few steps back. “Stay away from me.”

  This time he didn’t come after me as I pushed my way through the crowd. Outside, the air was cool, so I threw my jacket on and flipped up the collar. People were milling outside the bar and the security guard nodded as I caught his eye. Giving him a thin smile I walked up the street a short way, looking for a quiet place to clear my thoughts.

  I ducked into a dark alleyway and leaned my forehead against the cool brickwork. I was only a few steps within, so the street light lit me up as I tried to calm myself down with deep breaths. It wasn’t working that well.

  I pulled my phone from my pocket and thought about calling Dee, but I’d dragged him through enough of my shit already. It wasn’t fair to him to keep leaning on him as much as I had. His life had suffered for it too, in a way.

  “Hey, baby.”

  My head snapped up at the sound of a familiar voice. Just outside the alleyway in the orange streetlight, stood the man who I had once loved. The man that had lied, cheated and broke my heart. The man who had destroyed my life.

  I took a step back, suddenly wary, and clutched my arm. The arm that he broke.

  “Jason.”

  My heart thudded in my chest and it was another emotion he made me feel now. It was fear.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Will

  My hand shot up to my face, clutching my stinging cheek. I deserved that a million times over.

  Zoe took a few steps away from me, a look of absolute loathing on her face and my heart broke. I did this to her. I broke all the promises I’d made. She deserved better.

  As I watched her run down the stairs and out the bar, I realized that this feeling I had for her wasn’t lust or mere like.

  I was in love with Zoe Granger.

  If she wanted me to go, I would. But I had to tell her. Before she kicked me to the curb once and for all, she had to know.

  “Will.” It was Mish, creeping up behind me like the fucking snake she was.

  “Go away, Mish.”

  “You’re seriously going after her after she just hit you? She doesn’t want you, Will.”

  “Shut up,” I hissed, turning around to face her. “I fucking love her. Zoe is ten times the woman you are.”

  Her eyes widened in shock and she looked like I’d just slapped her.

  “You fucked this up,” I spat. “And what for? I could never love you. Not after all the shit you put me through. I never want to see you again.”

  Before she could start another argument, I spun on my heel and walked away.

  Zoe had just run out into the middle of the city on her own, in the dark. Anyone could be out there. I couldn’t just let her go. Not in her state of mind. I would never forgive myself if something happened to her because of me.

  Taking a deep breath, I thumped down the stairs and pushed the door open, the cool night air hitting my face.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Zoe

  Jason stood at the end of the alley, hands in his pockets, a smile on his face. He hadn’t changed much since the last time I’d seen him. Same messy brown hair, same broad shoulders, same playful demeanor. Except now, I knew it was a mask that hid something else. Something that had always been there. Buried.

  “I saw your gig tonight,” he said, taking a step toward me.

  Instinctively, I took one back, but it was only into the darkness of the blind alley.

  “How’ve you been?”

  “How’ve I been?” I spat in disbelief. He was asking this now?

  “Yeah.”

  “Awful,” I hissed.

  “Yeah, so am I.” He seemed to take my barb the wrong way. I meant I was awful because of him. I was broken because of what he did to me.

  “Zoe, I…” He frowned, stepping closer. “I broke things off with Deb. We’re getting divorced.”

  “Good for her.” So her name was Deb. He left me for someone named Deb.

  “I realized something.”

  “That you’re a douche?”

  Anger flashed in his eyes but it was so fleeting, I wondered if I had imagined it. “No. I realized that I should never have left you.”

  Well, this was news. He should’ve thought about that for the six months he was off sleeping with this Deb chick behind my back.

  “I don’t want to know.”

  “Zoe, I want you back. We can fix this.”

  What the hell. Was he deluded? Was he high on something? “Did you break her arm, too?” I asked, my voice hardly audible, even to me.

  “What did you just say?” His eyes were suddenly full of astonishment.

  “I said, did you break her arm, too?”

  “Zoe, I didn’t break your arm.”

  Rage suddenly flared up inside me and I couldn’t hold it back. “You cheated on me for six months, then when you finally had the guts to come clean, you hit me then pushed me down the stairs. You left me there! You’re nothing but a heartless fucking prick.”

  “Zoe, I apologized for hitting you. I didn’t mean it. I didn’t.”

  I had no patience for his attempted lies – I was so angry tears began to fall. “I laid there alone in the dark with a bone sticking out of my arm in fucking agony! You lied to everyone and destroyed my life, Jason. I feel nothing but hate for you.”

  “Zo, you need to calm down.” I barely registered that he was looking around warily, as if someone would come along and bust his arm or god forbid, find him out for the liar he was.

  “You want me back?” I scoffed. “The only reason you don’t have a criminal record is because there were no witnesses. You knew it the moment you decided to run. And here you are, the moment I get it back together, trying to worm your way in. I’m not a victim anymore.”

  “Shut up,” he hissed, stepping toward me, anger flaring up in his expression.

  “Stay away from me, Jason. If I ever see you again, you’ll regret it.”

  That was the wrong thing to say. His expression contorted as he lost control of his rage and before I could get out of the way, his fist came through the air toward me. You know when people tell you afterward, that things happened in slow motion? That they could see everything happening before their eyes in tiny bite sized chunks of time, but can do nothing to stop it? That’s what happened right now. Jason’s fist hurtled towards me and I couldn
’t get out of the way. When it connected with my left cheekbone, I felt nothing. It was surreal.

  And just as suddenly, I fell to the ground on my side with a surprised gasp. I clutched my face, sharp stabbing pain beginning to throb through my skin.

  “Zoe!”

  I looked up, my eyes wide and I saw him. Will was stalking towards us, his eyes flickering from me to Jason and I swear he was going to snap and launch himself head first into a fight.

  “Stop,” I said and peeled myself from the gutter.

  He didn’t hear me and pushed Jason hard in the chest. “What the hell man? Beating up on a woman.”

  “Who the hell are you?” Jason scoffed, pushing him back. “What’s it to you? Mind your own business.”

  “I love her and if you lay another finger on her, I swear to god…”

  I scrambled to my feet and pushed between them. “Stop it.”

  “He hit you,” Will said thinly, the anger in his voice raw. He stared at Jason, not taking his eyes off of him for a second.

  I ignored him, turning back to Jason. “Once a hitter always a hitter.”

  Jason was seething and I knew I’d struck a nerve. Was this the reason this Deb was divorcing him? Had he shown his true colors to her as well?

  “You fell. How many times do I have to explain it to you?” He was so delusional, had he managed to convince himself his lies were the truth?

  I let out a snort of disbelief. “God, you even believe your own lies. Does it help you sleep at night? Knowing that you broke your girlfriend’s arm and lied to everyone about it? Knowing you destroyed my life?”

  Will’s voice was dangerously low. “He hit you before?”

  I nodded, not taking my eyes of the man that ruined my life.

  Will gently pulled me aside and stepped up in Jason’s face and he looked like he was about to beat the hell out of him. One thing I knew was that I won’t let anyone fight my battles for me. I won’t be a victim again. I saw Will’s hands ball into fists, knuckles white with tension and before he did something he was going to regret, I stepped forward and punched Jason in the face. Hard.

  He stumbled back a step, hands on his face and Will stared at me with wide-eyed surprise.

  “Bitch,” Jason spat at me, hands clutching his face.

  “I hope that hurt,” I said, pointing a finger at him. “If you ever come near me again, I’ll rip your balls off and feed them to you.”

  I was so wild with anger, when Dee suddenly appeared behind me, I almost turned around and hit him as well. The security guard from the venue had followed, hopefully at Dee’s request.

  “Whoa, Zo,” he said, holding my shoulders. “Settle down, it’s only me.”

  “Dee?” I asked, blinking hard. My hand suddenly began to throb and my face matched its pace. I remembered this feeling. That day, after I’d been picked up off the ground by the paramedics, they said that my body had gone into shock. My strong demeanor suddenly crumbled and tears began to fall, even though I tried hard to keep them in. I didn’t want Jason to see me cry. I didn’t want Will to, either.

  I didn’t understand what was happening when Dee eased me into Will’s arms. I could only watch as my best friend hit Jason hard in the face, putting him flat on his back. He got what he deserved, but I couldn’t feel anything.

  Dee hauled Jason off the ground and shoved him against the wall. “You’re not going anywhere. Will, call the cops.” Shoving Jason hard again, he spat, “You’re not getting away with it this time, you hear me?”

  “I’ve got it, mate,” the security guard said in a deep rumbling voice, frowning at Dee, but he didn’t mention anything about the perfectly aimed punch that Jason had just received into his left eye. He had a phone in his hand and dialed triple zero.

  Will guided me around the corner, so I didn’t have to look at them, but he could have taken me anywhere right then and I wouldn’t have fought. I buried my face into his shoulder, breathing in his familiar scent, trying to shut out everything. His hands rubbed my back soothingly and right then, I didn’t hate him.

  “It’s going to be okay,” he murmured into my hair and I hoped he was right.

  When I’d composed myself enough, I pulled away from him. I couldn’t let him touch me any more than he had. I’d said that I didn’t want to hear him explain, but after the way he stood up to Jason, I knew I had to let him. I leaned against the wall behind me and closed my eyes, aware that he didn’t move from my side. I pressed the back of my hand against the cool brickwork and hoped I hadn’t done anything more than bruise it. Even though it’d felt good to take control and thump Jason, I needed that hand to play guitar.

  It wasn’t long before the police arrived and relieved Dee and the security guard of their guard duty. They handcuffed a furious Jason and read him his rights before stuffing him in the back of their divi van.

  “Are you okay, miss?” one of the police officers asked, his voice changing drastically.

  I nodded, wiping my eyes.

  “He’s going to spend the night in the lock up anyway, but I have to ask if you want to press charges.”

  I nodded again, unable to get the words out.

  “You’ll have to come down to the station in the morning and give your statements,” the cop said, handing Will a card. “Then we can take it from there.”

  “Thanks,” Dee said, shaking the officer’s hand.

  “Miss, are you hurt? Do you need to go to the hospital? We can call an ambulance if you need it.”

  “No, I’m fine,” I said, shakily.

  “Someone better take the young lady home,” the cop said. “She looks pretty shaken up. And someone should stay with her in case she has a concussion.” He looked between Dee and Will and they both nodded.

  As the cops drove off, leaving us alone in the street, I suddenly felt exhausted.

  “Zoe?” Dee asked, squeezing my hand.

  I drew in a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh. Closing my eyes again, I said, “I need to talk to Will.”

  “Are you sure?” I knew he was giving an epic death stare at the guy who’d stamped on my heart the night before, but I had to do this.

  “Yeah.”

  Then we were alone.

  There were a million questions I wanted to ask him, but after what had just happened, I couldn’t think of what any of them were. Will’s actions had erased most of them. He’d defended me from my past, just like that, and he’d said… Before I could believe that, he had to answer the one question I remembered.

  “Did you mean it?” I asked, looking up into his stormy grey eyes. “Did you mean to kiss her back?”

  “No,” he said like he was pleading with me.

  “Why did you?”

  “I don’t know. I realized what I was doing a second too late. I told her I was in love with you, but she came back again tonight and…”

  “Stop,” I whispered. He was in love with me…

  I knew I didn’t have the right to be as angry as I was with him. We both had twisted relationships that had tried to crawl in and ruin everything. He hadn’t been truthful, but neither had I. I had to let him explain, but right now, I just wanted to go home.

  To Will’s surprise, I stepped into him, resting my head against his shoulder. “Take me home.”

  We were silent all the way back to my place in St Kilda. When the taxi dropped us off, I led Will up to my little apartment and pulled him into the darkness. I was so aware of his proximity in the gloom, that my amped up emotions latched onto the fact he was there beside me. I’d always been attracted to him, but this was something else. Suddenly, I understood the way he’d needed me the day before and after everything, I couldn’t believe it’d only been twenty four hours. All I could think about was the fact that I physically needed him.

  I was overwhelmed, but all I could think about was his lips on mine. This was an emotional release. I needed him to give it to me. My hand fisted into his shirt and I pulled him against me, sucking his bottom lip
into my mouth. Instantly, his body responded and he caught my kiss with one of his own. Moaning into his mouth, I felt my insides clench in anticipation.

  “Zoe,” he said breathlessly.

  “Shhh,” I murmured. “Don’t.”

  Leaning back against the kitchen counter, I ran my hands down his back and underneath the waistband of his jeans, feeling the warm skin of his ass. He seemed to be unsure of my reaction and to make myself clear, I sunk my nails into his skin, pressing my lips against the corner of his jaw.

  “Are you sure?” he asked with a frown. “I don’t…”

  “Please,” I murmured against his lips. “I need you.”

  “Zoe…”

  “You once said that you’d do anything I asked,” I interrupted. “I’m asking. I don’t care what happens next. I need you inside me.”

  He let out a strangled moan, his eyes closed. “I want you Zo, so much. But after what I did…”

  “I need you to fuck me, Will Strickland.”

  That seemed to work. He let his jacket drop the floor and pushed mine from my shoulders, flinging it over the couch. Abruptly, he tore my T-shirt over my head, my hair wild over my face. Pushing it out of the way, he trailed feather light kisses down my chest, before unhooking my bra, freeing my breasts.

  Teasing my nipples with his tongue, he said, “Hard or slow, Zoe? Tell me how you want me to fuck you.”

  When he spoke like that, it made my insides clench tight. I knew I was wet and I wanted it any way I could get it.

  “Hard,” I gasped as he pulled his shirt off and fumbled with the button of my skinny jeans. “Fast.”

  Kicking my boots off, he did the same and with one hard tug, he pulled off my jeans and underwear in one go. His followed, but not before he pulled a condom out.