Decisions of the Heart

by Florence, Jessica

  “Move over me, love.” His whispers commanded me. I did as I was told; the feeling of being in control fueled me. My body moved over his in rhythm like those belly dancers at the festivals. My hips and torso were like a snake’s slither. His hands gripped me, moving his hips in sync with mine. Power surged through me and I felt like Aphrodite herself had gifted me with the power of sex. That immense tension was building all over me; my toes curled. My fingers gripped his shoulders.

  “Oh Thalia,” he groaned into my mouth. I swallowed down the sound. He gently took my lower lip in his teeth and gave it a light bite. That little bite pushed me over and I was falling into oblivion with him on my heels. Overcome with pleasure my body collapsed on his, letting him hold me against him.

  “Mine,” he whispered against me.

  “Yours forever, love.” I smiled and looked at his face. He was so beautiful.

  “I’ll drop you back off at your home; I have to be in the underworld today. But soon, I shall make you my wife.” My smile beamed at him. I wanted all ties to him, wife, lover, all of it. I nodded. Then I looked around for my clothes. He slowly lifted me off of him and helped me stand. He smiled brightly as he made me do a quick turn. When I was done spinning, I felt something over my body suddenly appear. I looked down to see a beautiful chiton dress with turquoise ribbons and silver clasps at the shoulders.

  “This is for you as well, first of many gifts to come.” I looked up from my dress to see him holding a beautiful necklace in his hands. It had a beautiful black chain with a turquoise jewel in the shape of a flower. It was breath taking. I turned around as he gently fastened it around my neck. It safely nestled right above my breasts.

  “Anubis, it’s beautiful. Thank you.” There weren’t many words to express how I felt. He made me feel so cherished and loved. Everything I had wanted. I was not a prize to him. I was everything to him. He wrapped his arms around me and gave me a swift kiss. As soon as I opened my eyes we were back in my home.

  “If you need me, remember all you have to do is call out to me and I will come.” He took a step back and looked me over. Before he disappeared I asked him the question I wanted to know earlier before he distracted me.

  “Was the Osiris you mentioned the real Osiris?”

  “Yes.” He gave me that same smirk he had on the balcony he disappeared. I quickly went to see my father. I didn’t get to say goodbye to him last night before we left. As I walked around the corner, I heard my father’s hushed voice making me stop.

  “She loves him; you can see the emotions clear as the summer day.” Whoever he was talking to spoke with an even softer voice than my father. I couldn’t hear him.

  “I’m not sure what we can do, friend. It’s not wise to have her as an enemy.” My father’s voice was low and grave. I didn’t like the way he spoke, it was like he was in a losing battle. Whatever they were talking about I knew I wouldn’t like it. The sound of footsteps made me turn back towards my room with haste. Moments after I entered my room, my father followed behind me.

  “Thalia, my sweet daughter. You look radiant.” He held his arms out for me, with a small smile, I ran into his embrace. His arms were always safe for me, but now I felt like we were both full of secrets. He was keeping something from me, and I was keeping who Anubis was from him. I wanted to tell him, but he wouldn’t understand. Once we broke apart our embrace, he looked at me with grave eyes. Was he going to tell me what his hushed conversation was?

  “Come Thalia, let us eat and take a turn about the courtyard.” He held out his arm for me; I took it nicely and we walked towards the courtyard. He had ordered a little feast for us by the Nile. We ate in silence, until my father cleared his throat to talk to me.

  “How are you, beautiful? I did not see you leave the festivities last night.” I tried not to blush thinking of where I went, but I wasn’t sure that came across.

  “I’m well. Anubis and I went to talk about our upcoming union and all.” The lie felt effortless, but I was aching from not telling him the truth.

  “Yes, I hope he knows what he has offered himself for. You are quite strong willed.” He smiled at me and I just laughed. Everyone thought Anubis had to watch out because I was a handful apparently.

  “Lyris said the same thing. I didn’t think I was that much to handle.” It was his turn to laugh at my words.

  “Oh Thalia. You will keep him on his toes.” It was nice seeing him smile. I loved him so much.

  “Acastus asked if you wanted to join him in training today. I hope you will not be giving your lessons up. You may need those skills one day.” I was taken back by his words. He had never once suggested that I may need my fighting skills. I thought he only indulged me taking lessons because I wouldn’t stop until I did.

  “Father, is something amiss?” The question was out before I could rein it in. My curiosity was getting the best of me.

  “Nothing that needs to be discussed at this moment. Right now I want to bask in your happiness.” My heart filled with love, and although I was worried about what he wasn’t telling me I decided not to think about it and bask in my own happiness as well. I had everything I wanted.

  After my early feast with my father I went to my room to change into clothes that would be better fitted for battle. I didn’t want to take my necklace off, but I couldn’t bear for it to break while fighting. Once I felt covered and comfortable I went straight to my friend Acastus. He was always a willing partner to help me train. The sun was high and the days of late have been hot. Sweat was already forming a light sheen over my skin. I walked into our armory and found the man I was looking for.

  “Thalia, you received my message. I thought you might need a training session after the duel last night.” He voice was curious. The last time I saw him I was angry. I was being pushed towards a suitor, but so much had changed since then.

  “Actually, the warrior who won was the one I had chosen.” I winked at him. He smiled, obvious happiness on his face for me.

  “Well, bliss will have to wait. Today we are going to work on hand to hand combat. If you’re ever disarmed you need to be able to protect yourself, and attack the other as well. Come with me.” I was nervous as I followed him. We walked out to the court yard. It was filled today with other soldiers practicing their skills. Grunts and the sounds of swords clashing echoed off the limestone walls.

  “Now, hand to hand requires the use of your mind just as much as your body. You have to always be one step ahead. But right now we need to figure out what your strengths and weaknesses are. What do you think they are?” He was serious in his question. I bit my lower lip thinking about what my strengths and weaknesses were. I was a woman, and I wasn’t sure which one that would be. I was quick on my feet, but I wasn’t very strong.

  “What do you have so far?” He asked in no rush.

  “I’m quick, but not very strong,” I told him. He nodded and gestured for me to continue. I thought more on myself.

  “I’m a woman, which can be both. I will probably be underestimated, and I can use that. But I’m weaker than most men.” I wasn’t ashamed to say that. I knew most men could beat me in hand to hand. But I would learn how to beat them in ways fit for me.

  “Very good; you’re also smart, you’ll need that. And you’re stubborn. In some situations that is another trait that can be both a weakness and strength.” What he said was true. I absorbed every word he said.

  “Now, I have a volunteer to help us today. You’ve met Orion.” I turned and saw Orion walking towards us. I wasn’t sure how I felt about this, but I would be fighting with him, nothing more. I nodded and gave Orion a hello. Acastus gave Orion a good smack on the back and took a few steps away from us.

  “I want to see what raw material we have to work with. Thalia, I want you to try to best Orion, in any way you can. Remember your strengths and weaknesses. He will be trying to figure yours out and use them against you. Don’t let him.” I nodded and prepared for an attack. Unsure of how Orion was going t
o attack me, I planted my feet into the ground, standing my guard. He walked towards me with those gold eyes hinting of amusement. That look made me want to rub his face into the sand.

  “Let’s see what you have got Thalia,” he said just before he squatted down quickly, throwing his leg out and knocking me off my balance and onto the ground. I tried to get back up but he was on me. I threw my leg up to block his body from completely covering me. I knew he was using his weight to hold me down. I shifted my hips and quickly thrust my body upwards. He was surprised by my move and I took advantage of it. I pushed his chest back at the same time we rolled over and then I was on top of him. I moved to get off of him, but he grasped my wrists and brought his shoulder to my stomach and lifted me up and then back onto the ground beneath him. I was out of breath from struggling. He had me pinned, his body over mine, and hard pants were coming from his chest. It made me feel better that I hadn’t been beaten right away. I at least put up a fight.

  “Nice work, Thalia. Orion you may get off her now.” I looked up at Orion and saw he had a huge smile on his face, a smile directed at me.

  “You are really good. I’ve heard the rumors, and now I see the truth to them,” he said as he stood up and helped me to my feet.

  “Thanks, although I feel like I got beaten.” My shoulder was sore from landing on it. The ground was far from soft. We practiced back and forth; Acastus would interject and show me ways to use my given talents to best Orion. He still beat me every time, but I never gave up. I was tired, and covered in dirt and sand. My body ached everywhere. I thanked both men for their lesson and left. I wanted nothing more than to eat something, wash myself off, and sleep.

  It was getting late, people were scattered around chatting about the pleasantries of their day. I loved being here in Memphis, but sometimes I missed home, the grass and the trees. I liked to walk around the wheat fields and weave my hands around the tips of the grass. I loved the rustling of the wind through the fields as I would lay down and stare at the clouds passing by. Right now I wished I could be there just to lay and stare at the sky. The sand wasn’t pleasant to lie in, and the sun was very bright here. Slowly I made my way to my room and had my lady maids drew a bath, and prepared a small plate of food. My arms ached as I disrobed. I eased myself down into the large bath. The water was as warm as the Nile while I washed off the grime. Wanting to disappear for a moment, I submersed myself completely, enjoying the way my long wavy hair moved in the water like seaweed. Once the need to breathe called, I went back up into the dry air of Egypt.

  I rested in the water while my mind turned towards Anubis. I wondered how he was doing. It was only early morning when I last saw him, but I missed his smile. I hoped I would see him tonight. I knew he was an important person and I couldn’t be selfish. But when he wasn’t with me it felt like my soul was incomplete. When we were together it was a strong pull to be with each other; we were one soul.

  “Miss me?” His voice scared me, making me jump in the water. He was standing in the corner with that mysterious smile I loved so much.

  “Yes,” I answered without hesitation. I was happy he came. He must have felt my desire to see him.

  “What were you longing for earlier?” I looked at him, confusion written on my face.

  “Your soul longed to be somewhere.” It took me some time, but I figured out what he was asking me.

  “I miss my home. I wanted to lie in the wheat fields and watch the clouds.” His smile faltered, had I upset him in some way? I wanted to comfort him.

  “It’s nothing you did, Thalia. I want to give you the world. I’m not allowed to do that, but if I could, we would be there now, and I would lie with you.” What did he mean he wasn’t allowed? He was a God.

  “What do you mean?” I asked softly.

  “Our religions don’t mix. Your Gods would not take it too kindly if a God from another was in their land. And the same from our side. Your Alexander is creating quite a stir between the two trying to blend Egyptian and Greek.” My mind was trying to understand what he was telling me. Sides? It dawned on me and I was shocked I hadn’t realized it sooner.

  “I should have realized it. If you’re real, of course ours are real. Oh no, how can we be together? You will have problems forced on you because of being with me, a Greek mortal.” My head lowered in sadness. I didn’t think I could ever love anyone but him, but he was not to love a Greek. The touch of his fingers under my chin lifted my gaze to his.

  “I would take every punishment as long as I could be with you, and I will fight anyone who would try to take you from me. No Greek, nor Egyptian will keep me away.” His vow was stern. I wouldn’t cross him. He radiated immense power. My fingers lifted to touch him, to feel him. His eyes softened; he leaned down, getting rid of the space between us. When our lips met, my whole body felt his power, and the feeling of my love for him flowed through me. In the short time we had known each other he had become my world. I would do anything for him. Our kiss was strong, but brief. I wanted to explore his body more. I wanted more of the pleasure he could give me. My body craved his like the sweetest morsel. He growled as his lips lightly brushed against mine.

  “Insatiable,” he whispered.

  Chapter 3

  “Only for you my love.” My need for him was growing. I wanted nothing more than to sink onto his body. The bath water suddenly felt hot, my body turned feverish. I knew he probably had to leave, but he gave in anyways. Before I realized what was happening, I was scooped into his arms and was laid down on my bed. The only noise heard was our rapidly increasing breath. His clothes were gone right before my eyes. His olive skin was beautiful; his body was hard like marble. There were so many things I wanted to do, but didn’t know if it was something I could.

  “What do you want Thalia?” His voice was soft; his eyes were tender as he guessed what I was thinking. I let my eyes linger back on his body, and brazenly spoke.

  “I want to put my mouth on your body. Can I do that?” I didn’t know anything about this stuff, only what my body craved. Right now it was craving to taste him. He leaned in and kissed me softly before lying down beside me on the bed.

  “You may do whatever you wish love. My body is yours.” Excitement grew rampant inside me. There were so many things I wanted to explore. My senses were so high, I could feel the sexual fog in the air. I rolled to the side and brought my hand to his face tracing every line, down to his torso, and continuing to touch every part of him. My hand finally reached the essence of his manhood. It was beautiful. Soft, yet hard in the same moment. It was like silk. A tiny drop of liquid formed on the tip of him. My mouth watered wanting to lick it off of him. I didn’t know if I was allowed to do anything like that. I looked up into his eyes which were hooded and glazed with desire. He groaned and nodded for me to do what I wanted.

  Very slowly I brought my tongue to him. He tasted of cinnamon and spice. My body grew eager. I no longer cared if a lady should act this way or not. I gave over to what I wanted and took him fully in my mouth. I brought my head all the way down and back up. His groans of ecstasy only made me want more. Over and over I licked and sucked on him until a ferocious growl came from him and I was being lifted up and thrown on my back onto the bed. Making him lose control excited me like nothing else. His eyes were dark with pure hunger in them as they stared down at me. He quickly settled between my legs and pushed into me. I cried out from the bliss of him.

  This time he did not move slowly; he was too far gone. My body tensed, preparing for the magnitude of my oncoming release, building and building as he went harder and harder. My loud screams, mixed with his harsh breaths and feral growls, brought me over the edge. My body fell apart at the seams and I was no longer my own. I was nothing but sensation and pleasure. Moments later he joined me with a groan. We lay like that for a few moments, basking in the glow of what we had done. It was something pure and raw, animalistic. I was amazed at the feelings and things you could do with another. Anubis brought out a new side to me
. A side I was very much becoming addicted to.

  “Amazing,” I whispered into his skin.

  “Never in my existence has anything been more perfect.” He smiled before slowly easing out of me. His arms slid around me and brought me close.

  “I never knew it could be like that.” I blushed thinking about how much I liked it. It was rough, but beautiful. Then my thoughts darkened when a thought struck me.

  “Have you?” It was a weird question to ask a God, I didn’t even know how old he was. Do Gods age?

  “I will never lie to you, my love. Yes, but I was never made for love. You are different, what we do is different. It’s like you were made for me. Your very soul was made for me.” Jealousy ran through me thinking of the women he had been with before. Were they Goddesses? Mortals?

  “You are destiny, Thalia. I’ve been around a long time. I never knew I could love and have someone exist like you do for me.” The loneliness in his voice made my jealousy disappear. I felt sadness for him facing the world without love. I felt every one of his emotions like they were my own. My heart felt cold and alone. Tears broke free and flowed down my cheek. I couldn’t understand why I was having such strong feelings about him being alone for so long.

  “Thalia, what’s wrong?” He rolled over to face me. His words were laced with panic. Suddenly my mind was filled with feelings of concern. I couldn’t explain it. One minute I was feeling the weight of life snuffing me out like a candle. Smothering me in darkness. Then the next minute I was worrying about something, something I don’t understand.