As She Fades

by Abbi Glines

  “Where are you from?” I asked.

  “Oklahoma City,” she said. “A long way from home.”

  I was only a little over an hour away. I couldn’t imagine being that far from my parents. “Yeah, it is.”

  She sighed and pulled out one more stuffed animal from the box. It was a pink elephant that she placed in front. “That’s my newest one,” she said. “My birthday was last week.”

  I wanted to know if she had ever met her birth mother, but I figured I’d pried enough at this point. So I didn’t ask any more. “All eighteen of them,” I replied with a smile.

  “Guess I should unpack some,” I said, standing up and going for a box. I still had an hour before Knox would be picking me up for dinner.

  “There are two shelves in the bathroom. Which one do you want?” Jude asked.

  I shrugged. “You go ahead and unpack. I’ll take whatever you don’t use. I’m not picky.”

  “Okay. I’ll take the higher shelf since I’m taller, if that’s okay.”

  “Sounds perfect.”

  Things in this part of my new life were going to be easy enough. I just wasn’t sure about the rest of it.

  * * *

  KNOX TEXTED ME that he was outside a little over an hour later, so I told Jude good-bye and grabbed my purse to go down and meet him. What he hadn’t told me was that he was bringing a friend.

  I stepped outside and smiled at Slate Allen. I hadn’t seen him since the night he came to our house to eat. My dream about him that night hadn’t been the only one. I had dreamed of him several nights a week since then. The dreams were vivid … and sometimes explicit. I hadn’t wanted to face him.

  However, I did think about him and his uncle a lot. He had read to me when I was in my coma, and I wanted to do something for him. So I’d visited his uncle twice. Mom had made him some pound cake once, and another time she sent him meat loaf. She made the best meat loaf. I liked his uncle, who insisted that I call him Uncle D. He had known exactly who I was and seemed happy for me to visit. I just wish I’d been able to go visit him again before he was sent back home to Huntsville.

  “Hello, Slate. It’s nice to see you again,” I said, sounding a little too proper, but I didn’t know what else to say. I had dreamed of him with a lot less clothing on and I was afraid my cheeks would heat.

  “You settling in okay?” he asked.

  I nodded. “Yes, thank you. I hear you’re stuck with him all year,” I said, nudging my brother as we began to walk out to his truck. Anything to make this seem less awkward. It was only so for me, though. I was the one having wild naughty dreams about him.

  “Or he’s stuck with me,” Slate replied.

  “More like I’m stuck with him,” Knox said, making Slate chuckle.

  I wasn’t going to ask about their frat house life. Some things a sister did not need to know.

  “How’s your uncle?” I asked Slate, changing the subject to something I was actually concerned about.

  “Hanging in there. He’s in pain, though,” Slate said.

  “Tell him hello for me. Or maybe you could give me his mailing address and I could send him a letter. I had hoped I’d get by to see him at least one more time before he went back home. I had promised him some of Momma’s apple pie my next visit.”

  Glancing over at Slate, I noticed he had a confused frown on his face. Was I not supposed to tell him I took his uncle food?

  “You visited Uncle D?” he asked, slowing down.

  I had assumed his uncle would have told him. I hoped I wasn’t telling him something Uncle D didn’t want him to know. “Yes,” I finally replied with caution.

  Knox began to laugh, and Slate looked at him, then back at me.

  “The sneaky bastard. That’s where the lemon pound cake came from.”

  Knox continued to laugh.

  “I took him some pound cake that Momma sent and went to visit him two days after the dinner you came to. You’d mentioned him and I figured he could use some company and something good to eat. I hope that’s okay.”

  I wasn’t sure why it wouldn’t be okay. Slate had read to me and brought my family coffee and muffins often. I appreciated him doing that and wanted to do something in return.

  CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

  SLATE

  THE OLD MAN had spent time with Vale. No wonder he was so curious about her and concerned about how she was doing. But he didn’t tell me. I wasn’t sure why he wanted to keep that a secret, but I’d call him out on it at the next visit. Might even take him a lemon pound cake to do it.

  “I’m sure you made his day with your visits. He just didn’t tell me about them, so I was surprised. Guess he wanted to keep you to himself.”

  Vale smiled at that comment, and damn, that smile was something else. Her eyes lit up when her smile was real. It was hard to look away from her when she was like that.

  “I’ll be going up to visit him next weekend. You’re always welcome to come along.” I said the words before thinking about them. Her smile made my brain short out, apparently.

  “I’d like that. I could go by my parents’ and get him that apple pie.”

  Knox wasn’t laughing anymore, and I knew why. I really should have thought before I spoke. “You could come, too, Knox,” I added.

  He shot me a look that made it obvious he was thinking about my intentions. He wasn’t so sure about me at the moment. But my uncle was dying, so I could tell he was trying to keep an open mind.

  “I might do that,” he finally replied.

  When we got to his truck, I was relieved. I had made the conversation awkward all because her smile got to me. Also the fact she’d been visiting Uncle D and because she truly worried about the old man. Had nothing to do with getting near me. Her blond nurse, Everly, had started acting like she cared about Uncle D and showing up in his room only when I was there, to flirt with me. I saw through that shit easy enough. It had gotten to the point I tried not to visit Knox and his family when Everly was on duty. Her flirting was obvious and annoying.

  I didn’t like her using my sick uncle to get to me.

  Vale was different.

  And she was not my speed. She was good and kind. I had to let this fascination with her go. But first I was taking her to see Uncle D. Because … well, because she fucking smiled and made me a little crazy.

  “I’ll get in the back,” Vale said when I opened the passenger side of Knox’s truck.

  “I’m the tag-along—I’ll get in back,” I argued.

  She shook her head and began climbing in back. Her ass in those jeans was a little more than distracting.

  “Nope. I’m smallest and there’s not a lot of room back here,” she said, then thankfully sat that butt in the seat and out of my face.

  “She’s stubborn. No reason to argue,” Knox told me as he got inside.

  “Let’s go get some pancakes at the Pancake Haven. We talked about the place enough this summer. Need to show Vale what all the fuss is about,” Knox said.

  I agreed. I missed the strawberry and cream pancakes.

  “Breakfast for dinner. I like it,” Vale said from the backseat.

  “I know. You’re always the reason Mom pulls out the biscuits and gravy for dinner,” Knox told her with affection in his voice.

  I’d witnessed him stay in a constant state of fear and worry this summer when she’d been in a coma. He had watched her breathe … as though if he stopped watching, she might not take another breath. He said they’d been really close, and he told me stories of their childhood. Things that made him laugh, and it was good to see him smile at those times.

  It was almost as if he were the parent at times. I knew just listening to him that Vale McKinley was special. The kind of special that changed a person. That made a mark in life. I didn’t like thinking she wouldn’t wake up. It was one of the reasons I went to read to her. I would talk to her, too. Tell her why she needed to open her eyes. I talked about college and how much fun she’d have. I did all I could t
o make her want to live.

  “Mom is already texting me,” Vale said from the backseat with a soft laugh.

  “Surprise. She hasn’t texted me,” Knox replied.

  “She’s glad we’re going to dinner. She was worried I’d stay in the room and read all night once she found out Crawford had an away practice game.”

  Knox lifted his gaze and looked at her through the rearview mirror. “That is exactly what you were going to do.”

  “True … but I was going to unpack, too.”

  “Trust me, the pancakes at this place are worth it. You’ll thank me after the first bite.”

  Knox pulled into the parking lot and groaned. “Shit. Mia is here.”

  Mia was his girlfriend for about four months last year. Until she decided to start cutting out photos of wedding dresses and shit like that. Knox had bolted. Mia had been the insane ex-girlfriend for a while. Showing up unannounced, crying, bringing him cookies … it had been a joke at the frat house by the end of the year.

  “The girl from last year?” Vale asked, sounding excited.

  Knox sighed. “Yeah.”

  Vale giggled and clapped her hands as if that were the best news ever. “Oh, this is great. I can’t wait to meet her. Next family dinner I can fill everyone in.”

  “You’re a brat and you’re not meeting her,” Knox said, opening the door to get out.

  I got out, then offered a hand for Vale. She slipped her small hand into mine, completely trusting me, and I liked that a hell of a lot.

  When she stepped out, she looked up at the restaurant and frowned. It wasn’t a fancy place, but I didn’t think she was one to care about that.

  “Not what you expected?” I asked her.

  She glanced at me, then back at the sign. “I don’t know why I had an image of this place in my head, but I thought I knew what it looked like. I didn’t.” She shook her head. “Guess I dreamed it.”

  “You’ll be dreaming about these pancakes,” Knox told her, walking around the truck to meet us. “Come on, let’s go eat. And do not talk to Mia or make eye contact with her. That goes for both of you.”

  Vale started laughing and I fucking soaked that shit up. Damn.

  CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

  VALE

  THE TREES WERE full of fall colors, and I stood in the path with my head thrown back, staring up at the blue sky peeking through the branches. It was as if I were in a fairy-tale world out here. Beautiful and perfect. The sound of the stream running through the rocks along with the birds chirping filled the air, and I laughed and spun in a circle with my arms spread wide.

  This felt like falling in love. The simple beauty of it. So detailed, yet fluid. The wind blew through my hair and I inhaled the fresh air. Then he said my name and my heart fluttered and pleasure coursed through me. I loved hearing him say my name. He was what made this perfect. Dropping my arms, I turned toward his voice.

  And there he stood, so tall. His dark hair brushing his shoulders and his green eyes full of laughter from catching me dancing under the trees. He was my safe place. I hadn’t known I was lost until he found me.

  Slate Allen was my hero.

  * * *

  MY EYES FLEW open. That was a new one. My feelings for him were stronger in that one. Like I wanted to run and hide in his arms. Know he wasn’t leaving me. This was all crazy, because Slate was not the kind of guy you had these dreams about. Crawford was.

  Slate was a player. He liked women, and they liked him. That was obvious at dinner last night. He’d dated most of the females in there, it seemed. Several came over to flirt and rub up against him. Then the way Knox talked about him and his conquests being legendary, you would think my brain would register all that and stop having silly dreams about him.

  It must have been something I ate. No one should eat that much whipped cream and chocolate before bedtime. It must have the same effect as pizza. Crazy dreams. I wanted these dreams to stop. Looking at him made it hard when I had these images in my head.

  I glanced over at Jude, and she was sleeping soundly. All eighteen stuffed animals in bed with her—it was a packed house. Smiling at the sight she made, I got up to go to the bathroom. It wasn’t even six in the morning yet, but I was going to get a shower. I didn’t want to close my eyes again. My dreams couldn’t be trusted.

  I took my time washing my hair and drying it. Dressing was easy enough with the sunlight finally coming into the room. Jude was a hard sleeper and didn’t even budge while I got myself ready. I was going to go find coffee and take my book with me. I wasn’t sure just how late Jude slept and I didn’t want to wake her early.

  Deciding against driving, I chose to walk toward the campus center. I needed to find the library, too. That was important. There were several books I was supposed to have on my reading log for two different classes.

  No one was awake. The early morning light was something to take in on the quiet campus. I doubted I would walk through it empty like this again. Today was Sunday. On Monday classes would begin. Today the rest of the students would arrive and get settled. It was move-in weekend. I wondered how long it would be before the campus started stirring with activity. I knew Crawford had gotten back late because he’d texted me. I didn’t expect to hear from him until closer to lunch.

  I passed the main office and turned on the downtown street when the smell of coffee finally met my nose. I was getting close. I saw someone walk out of a storefront up ahead with a coffee in his hand and knew I’d found what I was looking for—and walking distance from the dorm. That was really good news.

  In the café window, EARLY PERK was painted in green with brown and yellow accents. There was a display of huge muffins and pastries just under the name, and I decided this might be my new favorite place. Café tables with yellow umbrellas were scattered along the sidewalk out front. Inside there were about seven tables, and benches lined the walls.

  I inhaled again as I walked in the door. This was exactly like I expected. Which was odd. Why I expected anything, I wasn’t sure. I’d heard my brother talk about his college life plenty last year, and although he wasn’t very descriptive, I have a vivid imagination and tended to create how I think things should look in my head. This coffee shop, for example.

  My mother had always said I should write books. All my life I’ve had a very bright and colorful imagination. I liked telling stories and exploring other realities. It was my escape many times to daydream.

  The barista was a girl about my age. A job here wouldn’t be bad. I’d enjoy being in this atmosphere.

  “What can I get you?” she asked with a smile. Her short brown hair was curly and had a wild look to it that I liked. She had a pixie-shaped face that it fit with. An interesting tattoo of tiny birds flying away went down into her neckline.

  “I have two questions,” I told her.

  “Okay.”

  “Are they hiring here?” I asked her.

  Her smile became a relieved one. “Oh my God, yes. We just lost our other weekend girl and I’m here alone until twelve when the afternoon help arrives. No one wants weekend mornings from five to twelve. Then one more day during the week you would have to work a five to twelve.”

  I had no problem with early mornings. “I don’t have morning classes on Thursdays. Would that work?”

  The girl actually bounced on her feet. “Yes! Here.” She scrambled under the counter in front of her and pulled out a paper and a pen. “Fill this out and I’ll call Jane, the owner, while you do that. She might hire you today.”

  “Great!” I had been worried finding a job was going to be much more difficult than this. I loved this little place. Working here on weekend mornings would be perfect.

  I sat down at the nearest table and began filling out the paperwork.

  “Hey, what was your other question?” the girl called out. “And I’m Isla, by the way.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Isla. I’m Vale, and I was going to ask what coffee you suggested. The menu is extensive.�
�

  She beamed at me. “Let me fix you up.”

  I ended up drinking my café mocha latte with whipped cream while she taught me where everything was in the back and how to work the espresso machine.

  I had a job.

  CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

  SLATE

  THE FIRST WEEK of classes always sucked. Getting all the paperwork and syllabuses stressed me the hell out. Then add the fact Uncle D had passed out Wednesday and busted his head open while hospice was there; his being sent back to the hospital just made it worse. I had been told hospice would take care of him. That shit shouldn’t have happened.

  It was hard to concentrate on anything when my thoughts were with Uncle D. I called him a couple times a day and it was annoying the hell out of him. He sounded so damn weak, though. Even more so than when I had seen him last.

  Once I got to my room on Thursday after my morning classes, I dropped my books and all the damn paperwork they’d given us on my bed and let out a frustrated growl. I shouldn’t be here. I should be with my uncle. This was bullshit. He shouldn’t expect me to stay here while he was fucking dying.

  The scholarship I was on wouldn’t let me drop out this semester to go spend it with him. But I was at the point where I just didn’t care. I’d get a school loan when I needed to return.

  Convincing Uncle D of this was going to be hard, though.

  A knock on my door interrupted my thoughts. I swear to God, if it’s a girl I may lose my shit. I hadn’t dated since I got back here and I wasn’t in the mind-set for anything. I was terrified every time my phone rang that it was a call about my uncle. I didn’t have time for dating drama.

  “Yeah,” I barked unwelcomingly. Just in case it wasn’t a brother.

  The door opened slowly, like the person on the other side wasn’t sure it was a good idea to come in. “What do you want?” I asked again, ready to get this over with.

  Then Vale appeared and all my frustration evaporated. That was not who I was expecting. She wasn’t here for me, of course, but seeing her after days of making myself not look for her on campus was nice. It felt good when nothing else in my life felt good.