Winter at West Sands Guest House

by Maggie Conway

  Eva suddenly felt miserable, not sure what had passed between her and Ben just now but certain she had antagonized him in some way. She shouldn’t have shown her distaste for his job in the city. Who was she to pass judgement – it had nothing to do with her. But she couldn’t deny it, discovering he had worked in the city she felt a stab of disappointment. She gave herself a shake and picked up the bucket to fill with hot water from the kitchen so she could start to give the floor a clean.

  As she passed through the hall, the doorbell rang and with Ben upstairs, Eva decided to answer it. She swung the door open to a young woman. Slim, heavily made-up, and with the shiniest hair she’d ever seen. Eva’s eyes darted to her bright red nails wrapped around a bottle of champagne. Clearly not expecting Eva to answer the door, her posed smile fell for a second before she recovered.

  ‘Hi, I’m here for Ben?’

  ‘He’s –’ Eva started to speak but the woman didn’t wait; instead she barged in past Eva just as Ben appeared at the bottom of the stairs. He had changed into navy trousers and a white shirt and looked so painfully handsome Eva wanted to cry. He glanced uneasily at Eva and then at his guest. Eva felt herself shrink. Never before had she felt self-conscious in her dungarees. They were comfortable; they were practical. But she looked like a workman she thought miserably. She hadn’t even washed her hair today.

  ‘Hello, Kat. You’re early.’ Ben’s tone was cool and Eva bit her lip, sensing their earlier conversation must have really irritated him.

  ‘Hi, Ben. I thought you might want to show me round your new house before we go. You didn’t tell me it was so big!’ She looked around and turned to Eva and briefly looked her up and down. ‘And you have decorators in – how lovely.’

  Ben looked awkwardly over at Eva. ‘Actually, this is –’ He started to speak but his visitor gave him no chance to finish and instead put a proprietary hand on his arm.

  ‘A little housewarming.’ She waved the bottle and turned to Eva giving her a condescending smile. ‘Would you mind putting this in the fridge?’

  ‘I can take it –’ Ben reached out to take it but Eva was too quick.

  ‘Of course,’ she said through gritted teeth. She marched into the kitchen, yanked open the fridge, and shoved the bottle on the bottom shelf as she heard the woman’s voice drift through from the hall.

  ‘Did you have a chance to read over the notes I sent you? I highlighted the parts I thought you might want to discuss, in particular the argument that quantum mechanics in not locally causal …’

  Eva loitered at the kitchen sink, making a pretence of washing her hands. So she was one of Ben’s colleagues. And not just one with shiny hair but one with a brain to match Ben’s.

  ‘We’d better get going. The traffic might be heavy.’ Eva heard Ben, his voice sounding terse as she dried her hands. The front door closed and unable to help herself, Eva scurried through to the living room to sneak a look out of the window just in time to see a red sports car pull away. Eva felt herself slump. Ben hadn’t even come to say goodbye, clearly eager to be off.

  What had just happened? Everything seemed to be going well and then they’d had that strange conversation about his work and now he had zoomed off with his colleague. Eva was beginning to think of Ben as a friend, someone she could talk to. She wondered if she’d been forcing herself on him in some way. Her hand flew to her mouth with a sickly realization that it had all been her – her asking him for coffee, to share pizza … even offering to decorate his house. Was he just being polite all this time? She thought they were becoming friends, even imagining a chemistry between them but seeing him with his colleague she knew they belonged in different worlds.

  She cringed thinking she’d actually asked him what the conference was about. Eva pictured them discussing quantum theory or whatever the hell it was before it became so heated they jumped into bed together for a night of physics-fuelled passion. Eva was more likely to be the person who came to change the sheets in the morning. With a heavy heart she turned from the window, the thought of them together making her feel quite nauseous. She gave herself a little shake when Gary spoke to her.

  ‘All right, Eva? That’s me about finished.’ Gary smiled, oblivious to her turmoil. Eva squared her shoulders and returned his smile.

  ‘Thanks, Gary. How about a cup of tea?’ she asked. Gary grinned his approval and Eva went to fill the kettle.

  ***

  Rattled by his conversation with Eva, Ben stared despondently out of the car window as Kat drove them to Glasgow. Kat was chatting, something about an amazing hotel she’d stayed at in Milan last year, but Ben wasn’t really listening. He was thinking of Eva’s reaction when he’d told her he worked in the city. It was like seeing a reflection of his own distaste for what he had done. Hearing the hint of scorn in her voice and seeing the dismay in her face bothered him.

  He remembered his first big bonus; it was crazy. He had stared at his bank balance, hardly believing the amount of zeros. Every day he had worked in the city was a day his mother received the best care but that didn’t stop him questioning his decision every day and it didn’t stop him feeling guilty.

  Ben rolled down the window in the car slightly to let in some air. The strong scent of Kat’s perfume and the way she kept turning her head to speak to him was making him feel claustrophobic. He wasn’t oblivious to the obvious charms his colleague was now displaying. She wasn’t exactly subtle about it. They just didn’t nothing for him; in fact they left him cold. He cast her a sideways glance, realizing something about her reminded him of Samantha. The type of woman who knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to go after it.

  Ben had never had trouble attracting women and although he wasn’t a saint, he’d never felt the need to chase after women the way some of his friends had done when they were younger. He’d had relationships but nothing that had lasted or been serious. Studying, working, and caring for his mother had been his priorities and somewhere along the line between losing his father and then his mother to her illness, he supposed he had instinctively put up defences as a means of self-preservation.

  He had met Samantha in the club he frequented some evenings after work, people from different offices often blending into one crowd as the night wore on including his colleagues and the group Samantha was with. Ben had noticed her – she always looked good and dressed impeccably – and occasionally they acknowledged each other with a nod or a smile.

  One evening she had dropped her purse, Ben picked it up for her, and they had started talking, ordering more drinks. He wasn’t sure who asked who but they had arranged to meet for brunch and a walk on Hampstead Heath the next day. They had talked easily, Ben liking that she was direct and undemanding, and they started to see each other regularly or at least as often as their schedules allowed.

  Samantha always had that polished look and Ben had been aware of the admiring glances when she walked into a room. She exuded confidence and always knew the right things to say to the right people. They ate in the best restaurants, got their hands on the impossible-to-get-tickets for the theatre, and received endless invitations to dinner parties. She talked about her work. A lot. Whereas Ben wanted to forget about work at the end of each day, Samantha would happily dissect her day, her colleagues, her chances of promotion.

  Now with distance and time between him and his old life, Ben could see with the money he earned he’d also bought into a certain way of life. Samantha and the lifestyle were a by-product of the money he earned and he had gone along with it. He had functioned, done what he had to do. It was only after his mother died he admitted to himself just how unhappy he’d become.

  Samantha had never come with Ben to visit his mother on Sunday, preferring to go to the gym and meet her friends to hang out at one of their trendy eating places. Ben hadn’t minded – she worked hard all week and he certainly didn’t expect her to accompany him each weekend.

  But over time, as the visits grew more difficult and Ben watched his mother dete
riorate, something within him began to change. He was painfully aware that when he lost his mother he would have no family, nothing to stay in London for except Samantha. A vision of the future began to form in his mind. He dreamed of leaving his job in the city, returning to academia, and starting a family. The dream had sustained him on the darkest days and made the visits more bearable.

  The day of his mother’s funeral was the worst of his life. Rain fell from black clouds as he thanked friends and the care workers from the care home who had attended. But of course there had been no family to share his grief and Ben had felt a terrible darkness in his heart.

  It had been his birthday the following week and to his dismay Samantha had produced tickets for a day at the races for them. ‘Something to cheer you up,’ she told him. The idea of going was bad enough; that she had misread his mood so badly was even worse.

  Even so, when he told her about being in touch with Professor Drummond and the idea of starting afresh in Scotland she had initially been all in favour. Now he knew the move for Samantha had been about her career. Her dream had been about setting up a business and when a better offer came along, she had simply taken it.

  He inhaled deeply, staring out of the car window, reminding himself that was all behind him, all in the past. They had come off the motorway now and the traffic had started to slow as they made their way to the university through Glasgow’s west end. Kat tapped her manicured nails on the steering wheel and Ben smiled to himself. She was impatient to get wherever it was she was going. An image of Eva’s hands came to his mind. They didn’t looked manicured; they looked hard-working and natural.

  ‘So, I take it you’re going to the ceilidh?’ Kat broke into his reflections.

  He nodded. ‘I don’t think we have much choice in the matter. Hasn’t the Professor issued a three-line whip?’

  ‘Sounds like fun – we can go together if you’d like?’

  He would go for the Professor, of course, but the thought of the evening wasn’t holding much appeal for Ben at the moment. He wasn’t exactly feeling sociable.

  Kat looked at him expectantly when he didn’t respond immediately. For some reason thoughts of Eva filled his head again and the words left his mouth before he’d thought it through.

  ‘Thanks, but actually I’m already bringing someone.’

  ‘Oh?’ Kat threw him a cool look. ‘Well, I guess I’ll need to find someone else then.’

  Chapter Nine

  ‘Ta-dah!’

  With a flourish, Eva revealed the cake she had made for Fraser’s twelfth birthday party. Heather looked in admiration at Eva’s butter icing creation, complete with glitter sugar and chocolate sprinkles.

  ‘Wow, that looks great, thanks.’ She beamed at her friend gratefully. Eva placed it on the table in Heather’s dining room already groaning with sandwiches, sausage rolls, biscuits, and bowls of sweets.

  ‘Are you sure you’ll manage with all these boys in your house?’ Eva asked as Jamie took off in the direction of what sounded like general mayhem.

  ‘Are you kidding? I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I didn’t have a house full of testosterone. Plus I have my secret weapon.’ She peeked opened a cupboard door, pointed to a bottle of Merlot, and shut the door again. Heather’s husband Douglas emerged from the kitchen holding a giant helium balloon, emblazoned with Happy 12th Birthday, and greeted Eva with a peck on the cheek.

  ‘It’s too late for me but you should escape while you can,’ he implored Eva before Heather shooed him away.

  ‘Honestly, I can stay and help if you want.’ Eva giggled.

  ‘Nope, I’ve got it all covered. Food, films, and sleepover although I doubt much sleeping will get done.’

  ‘Sounds perfect.’

  ‘What about you? What will you do?’

  ‘All sorted. I also have a bottle of wine and I’m sure there’s an episode of Friends I haven’t seen fifty times yet.’

  ‘Really? Nothing else you’d rather do?’

  ‘Like?’

  ‘A gorgeous woman like you, a night of freedom. The possibilities are endless …’

  Eva rolled her eyes at her friend.

  ‘Okay, I know. But you will be all right won’t you?’ Heather asked with genuine concern, fully aware how nervous Eva was being separated from her son.

  ‘Don’t worry about me, I’ll be all right,’ Eva reassured her.

  ‘And Jamie will be too. I promise I’ll look after him.’

  ‘I know you will.’

  ‘Anyway, have you not seen the forecast?’ she said tipping crisps into a bowl. ‘A storm warning’s been issued for the east coast. You’d better get going.’

  Eva made her way back to her car, a little shiver running down her spine as she looked up at the sky, which had grown ominously dark. The drive home was a nightmare. Within minutes of leaving Heather’s house the rain had started and was lashing against the windscreen and bouncing off the road. Gripping the steering wheel she negotiated the massive puddles that had sprung out of nowhere, vaguely listening to a voice on the radio explaining the weather system responsible for the storm and predicting worse to come.

  Relieved when she finally reached home, Eva slammed the front door gratefully behind her. She spent the rest of the afternoon securing everything outside and making sure the chicken coop was safe. Hamish ran around manically, refusing to leave the garden, and looked up at Eva accusingly. ‘They’ll be fine,’ she reassured him.

  In her living room Eva lit the log burner and poured herself a glass of wine, determined to try and relax despite the wind howling down the chimney and buffeting the windows. She’d be fine tonight on her own, she told herself, but deep down she wasn’t looking forward to it. She knew other mums who would relish having a night to themselves but it filled Eva with dread.

  Suddenly, the lights flickered on and off. Poor Heather. She could imagine the boys at the sleepover were probably hyper by now. She took several large sips of wine as she flicked through the channels deciding what to watch. The remote almost flew out her hand when Hamish, with some canine instinct for impending doom, let out an almighty whine at the precise moment the room plunged into darkness. Only a small light given out by the fire remained; other than that everything was black.

  Eva froze for a moment wondering what to do. Surely it would only take a few moments to restore power? Carefully she made her way over to the window to look outside but couldn’t see a single light from anywhere. The sky was suddenly illuminated by a flash of light and Eva quickly turned from the window and gathered Hamish up as the inevitable roll of thunder followed.

  Remembering the supply of candles she kept in the hall cupboard, she went in search of them. She felt her way along the wall using the light from her phone, Hamish following behind her. Eva’s heart hammered in her chest as she fumbled her way around, finding candles and matches and lighting as many as she could. She took another mouthful of wine, telling herself not to be ridiculous. Every bone in her body seemed to jump when she heard knocking at the door. She picked up Hamish again and held him close as the wind and rain rushed in through the open the door.

  Ben stood there and the sight of him almost made Eva weep. Whether from relief that he wasn’t a crazed psychopath or that his solid, muscular form filled the doorway she didn’t know. He spoke but the roar of the wind made it impossible to hear properly. She gestured for him to come in and quickly closed the door behind him, leaning her back against it. In the hallway he seemed huge, the darkness somehow enhancing his presence.

  ‘Are you okay?’ he asked.

  ‘Yes,’ she replied, surprised to hear the shakiness in her own voice.

  ‘Where’s Jamie?’

  ‘He’s at a sleepover.’ The thought that he might be here to check on them was as unsettling as it was unexpected. She really didn’t want to sit through this storm alone and the several swigs of wine she had consumed gave her enough courage to ask him to stay. ‘Would you like to come in for a while?’
Eva braced herself for a polite decline but to her relief he smiled.

  ‘It’s not a night for being alone,’ he replied.

  The last time she’d seen Ben he was being whisked away by his colleague and since then Eva had distracted herself by pouring all her energy into sanding and varnishing the floorboards. She felt slightly foolish now for thinking there might be something between them. Seeing him with his colleague and discovering he’d been a city trader, she realized she didn’t have him figured out at all. Finding him so attractive – what woman wouldn’t after all – and easy to talk to didn’t amount to really knowing him.

  Eva led the way into the front room and realized she may have gone slightly overboard with the candles, the flickering lights suddenly looking more like the setting for a romantic seduction than one for making polite conversation with your neighbour. Eva watched Ben’s dark silhouette make its way to the sofa.

  Depositing Hamish back down on the floor she asked Ben if he’d like a glass of wine.

  ‘Sure, thanks,’ he said.

  Feeling more accustomed to the dark, Eva brought another glass from the sideboard and sat down beside Ben. She poured him a glass and topped up her own just as another gust of wind shook the window, prompting a pathetic cry from Hamish. Ignoring her normal no-dog-on-sofa rule, she allowed him to jump up between them, thankful for the small canine barrier between her and Ben. Hamish nuzzled closer to Ben, clearly happy to relinquish his role as alpha male.

  ‘Was it Jamie who wanted a dog?’ Ben asked chattily.

  Eva nodded. ‘He kept asking and I kept resisting because of the business. But eventually I gave in. I’m not sure if Jamie chose Hamish or Hamish chose Jamie, but it was love at first sight. So now Hamish is part of our family – and totally useless in an emergency as he has proved tonight.’

  ‘Well I’m here now, Hamish, so you’re off the hook.’ He ruffled Hamish’s fur, his words making Eva feel all warm inside for some reason. She reached for her glass thinking she should probably slow down just as her phone pinged. Grabbing it, she scanned a message from Heather.