Winter at West Sands Guest House

by Maggie Conway

  This time the kiss was long and deep. He heard her murmur his name and as she moved herself closer into him he felt the softness of her body against him and the feeling was so much more than he ever could have imagined.

  Chapter Eleven

  Eva’s world felt different. She was waking in the same bed, in the same house but instead of turning to check the time, she turned the other way to see Ben lying beside her. In the soft morning light still half asleep, Eva could almost believe it was all a dream. But the gentle fall and rise of his chest told her it was real. She could reach out and touch him if she wanted. But for now, she allowed herself a few moments to luxuriate in simply studying his sleeping form, content to watch him as memories from the previous evening flitted pleasurably through her mind.

  Last night, just for those few hours she had felt different. She had felt carefree in a way she hadn’t for years. She hadn’t been a mother, a widow, a business owner. Just herself, Eva. She had been transported to another world, a world of dancing and laughing and Ben. They had stumbled upstairs touching and teasing – Eva making Ben guess which door led to her bedroom. Then they had fallen silent, nervous to take the next step. She had felt madly self-conscious about her body, unsure she would know what to do.

  But when Ben had gently removed Eva’s dress, the look on his face told her she needn’t have worried. His eyes devoured her body and Eva had fallen into his arms, their lovemaking urgent and frantic as they discovered and explored each other. And then later Ben had made love to her again, this time slowly – the most sensual experience Eva had ever known – until finally they had fallen asleep.

  Now she stretched out and sighed softly. No Jamie, no guests. Just her and Ben and it felt wonderful. Deep down she knew this was something she hadn’t come close to before. She thought of Paul, how he had swept her away in a tide of excitement. She felt guilty for thinking it – he was the father of her child after all – but he hadn’t aroused the feelings now engulfing Eva. It scared her, excited her. It made her feel strong yet vulnerable. It made her want to reach out and grab it and yet at the same time run and hide from it.

  She knew she could get hurt so badly. She felt like something in her was awakening for the first time and she loved and hated Ben at the same time for making her feel like this. She could see now all the barriers she had built to keep herself safe and knew in one night Ben had smashed them all down.

  She studied him for a few moments, her eyes savouring his toned, lean body, which had brought her such joy last night. And then she felt the cold hand of reality begin to slide over her. Anxiety and doubt crept in as she wondered what would happen now. What had she done? Quietly she slipped out of bed, pulled a T-shirt over her head, padded through to the bathroom, and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes held an undeniable sparkle and her skin glowed. It was still quite early but she knew Heather would be up – she was a fellow lark; the woman never slept in.

  ‘Hi, Eva. Everything all right?’ Eva smiled at the sound of her friend’s voice.

  ‘I’m a bad mother.’

  ‘Okay. And why’s that exactly?’

  ‘Ben’s in my bed!’

  Her friend only missed a single beat before responding. ‘And how does that make you a bad mother exactly?’

  ‘My son goes away for the first time ever and I bring a man home! What kind of a mother does that make me?’

  ‘Er, the human red-blooded kind?’

  ‘Well you would say that. But I feel like a terrible human at the moment.’

  ‘Eva, think about this. Ben’s a nice person isn’t he? He’s intelligent … oh yes and he’s flipping gorgeous. You’re probably just in shock this has happened. Please, Eva, just for once, enjoy the moment.’

  Eva felt her shoulders relax, allowing Heather’s words to infiltrate some part of her brain. ‘You’re right.’

  ‘You shouldn’t be talking to me. Go and be with him. I’m assuming underneath all that worry, you have a huge smile on your face?’

  Despite herself, Eva grinned. ‘Maybe,’ she conceded.

  After she hung up Eva went to find Hamish who had miraculously stayed in his basket all night. He was probably in shock too if he had witnessed anything. She gave him his breakfast and let him out in the garden for a few minutes, as she took a few breaths of fresh air.

  She was slightly hungover and not just from alcohol. She took a long drink of cold water, giving herself a moment of reflection. She’d have to think carefully about what to tell Jamie. But tell him what? What happened had been amazing but it didn’t necessarily mean anything, did it? No promises had been made. The connection between them was undeniable but it had all happened so quickly. Had she given in to her physical desires too soon? Remembering Heather’s words she decided now wasn’t the time to analyse it. There would plenty of time for that later.

  Tiptoeing back into the bedroom she slid beneath the covers and stared over at Ben, amazed how beautiful he looked with his rumpled dark hair and eyelashes casting shadows on his cheeks. His body shifted and his eyes – those dark gorgeous eyes – slowly opened and gazed at her. For a long moment their eyes locked and then a slow sexy smile spread across his lips. What was he thinking? She felt suddenly shy, despite what they had shared last night. Without speaking he pulled her in to him, kissing her.

  ‘Morning to you too,’ she replied when they eventually parted. ‘Are you hungry?’

  ‘Yeah, starving actually,’ he replied with a lopsided grin.

  ‘Must have been all that dancing,’

  ‘Must have been.’ He smiled wickedly.

  As they moved from the bed, Eva recited her breakfast menu in an exaggerated formal voice. ‘There’s a choice of full traditional full Scottish breakfast or you may prefer our continental choice of warm rolls, jams, and seasonal fruits …’ Eva stopped, lifting an eyebrow. ‘But for special guests I can arrange something extra …’ She giggled as Ben groaned.

  ‘I tell you what, how about omelettes?’ Ben suggested, pulling on his shirt. ‘They’re about the only thing I can make – kind of my signature dish.’

  ‘Sounds good.’

  In the kitchen, Ben set about whisking eggs while Eva filled the teapot with boiling water and made toast. She turned to find Ben staring at her. ‘What?’

  ‘I hope that’s not how you usually look when you make breakfast for your guests.’

  Eva looked down at her crumpled T-shirt. ‘Um, definitely not.’

  ‘That’s all right then.’ He came behind her and nuzzled her neck. She turned to face him and as he peppered her throat with kisses, Eva was tempted to forget all about breakfast. Only the imminent threat of burning of toast broke them apart.

  Their breakfast of eggs, hot buttered toast, and mugs of tea was delicious and they both ate hungrily. She glanced over at Ben and felt an overwhelming sense of happiness. She decided now wasn’t the time to overthink things. Whatever this did or didn’t mean, she simply wanted to enjoy this moment.

  That moment was abruptly shattered by the sound of the doorbell ringing. She glanced at the clock. Who would be calling so early on a Saturday morning? Her first thought was Jamie and the cold dread she felt must have shown on her face. Ben squeezed her hand for a second.

  ‘Don’t look so worried. You answer the door and I’ll stay here.’ Eva hurriedly ran a hand through her hair, took a deep breath, and opened the door to find herself face to face with her sister.

  ‘Sarah?’

  Eva didn’t know what shocked her more – the fact her sister was standing at her door on Saturday morning or that she looked utterly distraught, tears running down her face. Sarah didn’t usually do emotion. And she certainly didn’t do crying.

  ‘Sarah, what’s happened?’

  ‘It’s mum …’ Sarah gulped. ‘She’s … I saw them –’ Her voice broke into a sob.

  ‘Mum? Is she all right?’ Eva felt the colour drain from her face. Her sister took an enormous sniff and shook her head.

  �
�Mum’s got a boyfriend!’

  Her words hung in the air for a second and then her shoulders slumped. So many things about that sentence didn’t sound right, Eva wasn’t sure how to respond. A hundred thoughts whirled through her mind, most of them incredulous. She also had a sudden terrible urge to burst out laughing. Eva stood in shocked silence for a moment before realizing Sarah was still standing on the doorstep and Hamish had just arrived to investigate what all the fuss was about.

  ‘Come in, come in. Don’t say anything else just now.’ With Ben in the kitchen, Eva ushered her sister into the living room. She opened the blinds and lit the fire, trying to make the room feel as cosy as possible. Sarah perched on the edge of the sofa, emitting little sobs every now and again.

  Eva was acutely aware of her own appearance and hoped she didn’t look as dishevelled as she felt. Her body ached at all the unfamiliar activity, her lips felt stung, and despite her sister’s obvious distress, she felt gloriously alive, as if her body was hugging a lovely secret to itself. But she couldn’t deal with her sister looking like this and with Ben in the house.

  ‘Just give me a minute and I’ll er, go and change. Then you can tell me what’s happened.’

  ‘Where’s Jamie?’ Sarah asked vaguely looking around as if he would suddenly pop up from behind the furniture.

  ‘He’s at the activity weekend.’ Now wasn’t the time to point out that she had mentioned that to her only a matter of days ago. Eva headed back into the kitchen, trying to picture her mother with a boyfriend but just couldn’t do it.

  Ben was buttoning up his shirt when Eva returned to the kitchen. Her eyes were drawn to the muscular contours of his chest, which were now so achingly familiar, and sent a small shiver up her spine. God, he looked gorgeous. Forcing herself to concentrate, she explained who her unexpected guest was.

  ‘My sister is here,’ Eva whispered. ‘Apparently my mother has a boyfriend.’ Ben shot her such a quizzical look Eva couldn’t help giggling. ‘Knowing my sister, it could be nothing. She’s probably got hold of the wrong end of the stick or something. She’s pretty upset … it’s a bit awkward and er –’

  ‘And you don’t want her to see me?’

  ‘Maybe not the best time for introductions. I’m sorry, I really didn’t expect this to happen.’

  ‘You do what you have to, don’t worry about me. I’ll sneak out the back door – not something I’ve had to do before,’ he said, winking at her.

  ‘Oh God, I’m sorry about this,’ Eva said trying to cover her disappointment. This wasn’t exactly how she hoped today might unfold. Ben hooked his finger under her chin and tilted it upwards. He bent his head down and kissed her thoroughly, leaving her feeling slightly dazed and wishing things hadn’t been brought to such an abrupt end. It felt farcical to be smuggling a man out of the house – she was a grown woman in her own home.

  After Ben left, Eva quickly dressed and returned to Sarah, who appeared not to have moved an inch. She sat down beside her, speaking quietly. ‘So do you want to talk? Tell me what happened?’

  Sarah let out a dramatic sigh, her mouth quivering for a moment as she found her voice. ‘You know Mum got a new kitchen fitted recently?’

  ‘Yes, she seemed very happy with it.’ Eva frowned, wondering where this was going.

  ‘Last night I called round to Mum’s. I don’t usually go to hers on a Friday night but I’d had a terrible day at work.’ She paused, twisting a ring round and round her finger.

  ‘Anyway, I thought I’d go and see Mum, take a bottle of wine, thinking we could just chat. I phoned her first but there was no answer so I thought she must be with her friend Deidre. They sometimes meet on a Friday afternoon and go shopping. I decided to let myself in and wait for her. But when I went in the house –’ Sarah gulped, her eyes blinking back tears as she came to the painful part. ‘I saw Mum and, and – him in the living room. They were on the sofa and they were, well they –’ She stopped, unable to continue.

  Eva’s mouth hung open. ‘What, Mum and the kitchen fitter?’ she said incredulously.

  ‘Not the fitter.’ Sarah glowered, shaking her head in frustration at Eva’s inability to keep up. ‘The man who owns the kitchen company.’

  ‘Oh, I see.’ Well, that sounded slightly more plausible.

  ‘I had seen him at her house – every time I went he seemed to be there, showing Mum different designs and layouts for the kitchen.’

  Eva remembered how well Helen had looked last time she’d seen her, a definite glow about her. Now she knew why. ‘So what happened next?’

  ‘Mum was flustered, you know. Her hair was all over the place, a total mess.’ She shook her head sadly.

  ‘And, um, what were they doing exactly? You know, were they actually –?’

  Sarah looked at Eva in horror. ‘No! They broke apart when I came in. Mum asked me to stay for a drink – tried to act all normal.’

  ‘And then what happened?’

  ‘We sat and had a drink together. Made polite conversation – it was awful. Then I left and went home. I tried to sleep but couldn’t. So this morning I got in the car and came here.’

  Eva pondered exactly why Sarah had come here. Had she come all this way, after all this time, just to tell her that their mum had a boyfriend? Evidently she was upset about it but Eva couldn’t help sensing there was something more to it. She felt a surge of pity for Sarah. She looked totally worn out and Eva realized it was going to be difficult to make any sense of anything while Sarah was clearly so exhausted.

  ‘Listen, would you like to have a lie-down? You haven’t slept and things always seem worse when you’re tired.’ Eva thought she might resist but Sarah immediately acquiesced. She led the way upstairs showing Sarah into her coastal-themed bedroom, which was ready for the guest arriving on Monday.

  Opening the door Eva allowed herself a quiet moment of satisfaction seeing the look on Sarah’s face as she registered the room. The bed was made up with plump pillows and crisp fresh navy and cream bedding. Eva drew the curtains as Sarah lay down on the bed. Eva covered her with a spare blanket and she was asleep in seconds.

  ***

  Ben started to run as soon his feet hit the sand. He’d changed into his running gear after leaving Eva’s and headed straight to the beach, glad it was practically empty and no one could see him because he was sure he was grinning like an idiot. But he was one very happy, satisfied idiot. He couldn’t remember ever feeling like this before. He hadn’t truly appreciated just how unhappy he had become until now, as if something had been broken and now it was fixed.

  He knew there were implications from what happened last night, the most important being Jamie. But he would let Eva decide how to handle things on that front. Last night with Eva had been incredible and the intensity of their passion had surprised him. His only regret was the sudden ending this morning. Still, there would time in the future … at least he certainly hoped there would be.

  He’d always kept himself reasonably fit but recently he hadn’t done much exercise. Today he felt physically strong and energized, as if he could run for ever. He picked up his pace and lengthened his stride, wanting to push himself and feel the strength of his own body. He ran until his lungs and muscles screamed in protest and eventually he allowed his body to slow down.

  He stopped and bent over, resting his hands on his knees, letting his breathing return to normal. He straightened up and stretched and began to walk back to his house. In the kitchen he filled a glass with water and drank thirstily, wondering how Eva was getting on with her sister. Halfway up the stairs his phone rang and his heart plummeted when he saw the caller ID. ‘Hello, Arthur?’

  ‘Hello, Ben. I’m sorry to bother you, especially at the weekend.’ Ben heard the older man’s voice, knowing it would be impossible for him to bother Ben in any way.

  Arthur and his wife Mary lived next door to the house where Ben had grown up and had been family friends for years. Arthur was a true gentleman, from a different generat
ion. The house was a bungalow in a quiet cul-de-sac in St Albans near London. Ben hadn’t known what to do with it after his mother had moved into the care home – even kidding himself that one day she might return. After a while he’d handed over the property to a letting company who had secured a long-term let. The arrangement had worked well but the tenants had recently moved out.

  Having it lying empty wasn’t ideal but Ben couldn’t bring himself to sell it and had been putting off making any decisions. Arthur had always kept a spare set of keys and an unofficial eye on the place and Ben knew he’d only be phoning if there was a problem. He braced himself for bad news.

  ‘There’s been a break-in, Ben. I called the police and luckily it looks like they were disturbed. They don’t seem to have taken anything – not that I could see anyway.’

  Ben rubbed a hand over his face. ‘Do you know how they broke in?’ he asked.

  ‘Back of the house – they broke a panel of glass in a downstairs window. I’ve managed to board it up for now – but obviously it needs to be fixed properly.’

  ‘Of course.’ The thought of Arthur dealing with it horrified Ben. He felt something pull in him and a sense of urgency take hold. ‘Thanks for taking care of it, Arthur – I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this.’

  After the call finished, Ben did some quick thinking. It was still early. If he drove to the airport and managed to get a flight to London, he could be in St Albans by this evening. The conference was this coming week and students had been given a study week so at least he didn’t have any teaching. He’d send an email to the Professor and the department secretary explaining the situation. He should only be away for a couple of days.