Yorkie Doodle Dandy

by Belinda White

  Crapsnackles. I hadn’t added feeding her to the day’s list.

  Double Crapsnackles! The list! I’d totally forgotten to get groceries. I glanced at my watch. Arc would be home within the hour, and the drive into town and back would take more than half that time. Not to mention the whole shopping part of things. And the whole cooking thing.

  “Meow!”

  I was almost back in the car when Destiny sounded off. I hated making decisions. If I left now, I’d pay for it later. And most likely, poor little Yorkie Doodle would pay for it too. I couldn’t have that.

  I headed to the front door of the house at a dead run, grabbed the hidden key, and let us in. Then I headed straight to the cupboard, pulled out Destiny’s food, filled her bowl and water dish, and scooped her litter. All in the space of like three minutes.

  There was no way I was going to make this work. Amie’s fridge still didn’t have any more in it than there had been yesterday, and now her freezer was pretty much bare too. There were a couple of packages far in the back, but they didn’t look too trustworthy. I wasn’t that desperate. Yet, anyway. Better to have dinner late to the table than to risk food poisoning.

  I dashed into her pantry and started rambling. On the next to last shelf, I found my salvation. A box of spaghetti and a can of sauce. I could still pull this off.

  But what to do about the whole garlic bread thing? Spaghetti just wasn’t spaghetti without garlic bread.

  I grabbed the box and can anyway and headed home. I’d come up with something. When I came in, Yorkie didn’t greet me at the door like he normally did. It kind of had me worried. Worried enough that even in my current time crunch, I went looking for him.

  He was hiding under my bed.

  Lying flat on my belly, I looked him in the eyes. “What’s the matter, Yorkie? Are you okay?”

  He sniffed, and his tail slashed. I do believe that was the new universal dog language for Destiny.

  “Was Destiny mean to you?”

  He sniffed again. “Yip.”

  “I’m sorry, little guy. I really am. I’ll have a talk with her, okay? She shouldn’t take it out on you if I forget to feed her.” I patted the floor in front of me and Yorkie crawled out. “And I’ll try really, really hard not to forget again, too, just in case, okay?”

  I picked him up for a brief snuggle, and he licked my nose. A quick once over didn’t show any wounds, so I was guessing that any lashing out that Destiny had done had been verbal. The cat could make anyone miserable with just her caterwauling. And my poor little dog had sensitive ears.

  Yorkie got a free ride into the kitchen, and then I put him down to start dinner. I could still do this. But what about that darn bread?

  Then I spotted the left-over hot dog buns. Hm. They would just have to do. I pulled out the tub of butter from the fridge and dumped two large scoops into a bowl, then I doused it with garlic powder and stirred it all up. Just like that, I had garlic butter to put on the hot dog buns. And if I spread the garlic butter on the inside part of the buns and toasted them in the oven... well, garlic toast.

  I put the water on to boil and ran upstairs for a quick shower. That heat could really make a person sweat, and the little added fun after getting home hadn’t really helped that issue. I didn’t want Arc to get used to coming home and finding me a mess.

  That wasn’t a good plan to keep a man happy. Neither was running a shoddy kitchen, but I’d take care of that tomorrow. I’d make sure it made the top of the list again. And this time?

  I was so taping that darn list to my steering wheel.

  Chapter 7

  When Arc got home, he seemed impressed by the wonderful Italian aroma coming from the kitchen. Of course, the impressed stage only lasted until he got a look at my quickly improvised garlic toast. But still, all in all, the dinner turned out rather well. If I did have to say so myself.

  Maybe this cooking thing wasn’t as bad as I made it out to be. I could so do this thing. And tomorrow, after my grocery run, when I really had food in the house? Well, it would only get easier, right?

  After dinner, we settled in to watch a movie. Well, Arc settled in for the movie. I booted up my laptop. About halfway through his action-adventure flick, he finally noticed that I wasn’t as enthralled with the film as he was and paused it.

  “What are you doing?”

  I chewed on the inside of my cheek for a minute before deciding to answer him. I really wanted to do this on my own, but I also kind of wanted to show off my new skill. It was pretty cool. Something like this could even get to be addicting after a while. Too bad I couldn’t think of a single way to make money out of it. Well, other than blackmail, of course. And that just wasn’t in my cards.

  I started to turn the screen for him to see, then stopped. “First off, I want the same confidentially clause that you give to your clients at the firm. Nothing about any of this goes outside this house. Just you and me. Agreed?”

  His eyes widened. “Now you really have my interest up. Agreed. Now, what’s up?”

  I showed him the screen and his eyes widened even more. Then he started laughing. “I really don’t think Mayor Bradford ever looked that chiseled.”

  Frowning, I looked down at the screen. He had a point. I needed to make the images look realistic, and just switching out faces might not do that. I needed realistic looking bodies too. But that thought sent my heart into a tailspin. I was afraid that level of expertise was well beyond me.

  Besides, I could get pictures of faces easy enough on the internet. But where on earth could I go to get pictures of naked bodies?

  I know, I know. Duh, right? But I really didn’t want to go to those virus-ridden websites. The last thing I needed was to ruin my poor little computer. I did a lot of important shopping on the thing.

  “You can get all kinds of body images from a stock photography site.”

  Arc and I both jumped at the voice behind us. At least it wasn’t just me.

  “Sorry,” Liz said. “Yorkie came over to visit and seemed to want me to walk him home. Patty is out with the pack, and I was bored, anyway. So I thought I’d check in with the two of you.” She smiled and gave me a wink. “I made sure you both had your clothes on first, though.”

  Nice try, but how would she know whether we had clothes on if she hadn’t looked? Not that I was going to call her on it. Being a ghost was hard enough as it was. Besides, it wasn’t like she could knock.

  After my immediate startlement faded, I looked at her. That’s when I remembered that she’d been pretty well known for photography back when she... you know, wasn’t a ghost. “Did you use this kind of software? Merging pictures and stuff?” There was a lot of hope hidden in that question.

  “Sure. All the time. Sometimes for work. Sometimes just for fun. It’s kind of addicting.”

  See? I was right.

  Okay, so is it really getting help with a case, if that help was no longer living? I didn’t think so. And that made Liz my perfect partner. I looked from her to the computer on my lap. “I know you can’t actually work a computer anymore, but any chance you’d be willing to walk me through this?”

  She grinned at me. “I’d love to!”

  Her enthusiasm told me just how bored she really was. After all, she could never leave the estate. That would get tiring after a while on its own. Add in the whole not being able to use your hands, and it got bothersome quick.

  We needed to come up with some way to keep her entertained. The page-turning mechanism that Lily had come up with to allow Liz to read wasn’t nearly enough.

  I glanced over at Arc. “Let’s take this to the kitchen.”

  Arc raised an eyebrow at me. “This is sounding like more than a hobby or lark to you. What’s going on?”

  I gave him the sweetest smile I was capable of. “I’d love to tell you, but I’m working on a case. And, you know, there’s that whole client confidentiality thing.” Yeah, he had to know that would come back to bite him, eventually.

&nb
sp; “Hey, I thought we were a team.”

  “We are. Usually, at least. But you’re working long hours at the firm and even bringing work home. And yes, I saw how heavy your briefcase was tonight, so don’t try to deny there’s work in there. And with Amie gone, I needed something to distract myself.”

  “I’m not so sure I like the idea of you working alone to bring in a bond runner. That can be dangerous work.” He hesitated. “Besides, I thought neither of our go-to bondsmen had any work this week.”

  His words made me even more sure that the reason I’d been told of the lack of work from both Boswell and Vincent was due to a little talk with Amie. I mean, come on. Perps don’t just stop jumping bail because Amie goes out of town, do they?

  Part of me wanted to let him stew on that. But he really looked worried. Besides, I didn’t want him doing something stupid, like calling in the moms.

  Reaching out, I patted his hand. “Don’t you worry. This case isn’t taking down a runner. It’s more of an investigation thing.” I hesitated, but then went ahead with a little more information. “It’s kind of a local politics thing.”

  His eyes flew to the laptop. “You’re going to blackmail the mayor?”

  That got a laugh. “No, silly. But blackmail is involved. I’m trying to figure out a way around it, if all else fails.” I motioned to the paused movie. “Go on back to your movie. Just be sure to remember everything I said tonight is under a very heavy confidentiality clause. And you happen to be the only one I’ve told, so I’ll know if you break it. Just saying.”

  He swallowed but nodded. Mom was really kind of famous for her Karma spells. And I was my mother’s daughter, after all. Arc wouldn’t want to risk that. Not that I would actually do that to him. But as long as he didn’t know that, he’d keep the secret.

  Liz and I went to the kitchen counter. I noticed that the television volume went way down. I didn’t think that was to help us concentrate, either. All the better to hear us with.

  “So, what is it you’re trying to do with the mayor?” Liz asked once we were settled. I was sitting on a barstool at the counter, and she was pretending to sit on the one next to me. Sometimes I had to wonder just how much concentration it took on her part to keep that illusion going. Probably quite a bit, but I appreciated the effort she put into it.

  I glanced into the living room area. The movie was playing again, even if Arc was sitting up a little straighter than he usually did when resting and relaxing. I didn’t plan to make eavesdropping easy on him.

  Lowering my voice, I told her the basics of my plan.

  “So, you plan to flood the market with doctored photos of local politicians and then leak the images to the press? You think Mabel will be happy with that?”

  I shrugged. “I might have to run it by her before I drop the files off to the reporter, but yeah, I think she will. I mean, it’s one thing to be singled out and blackmailed. But if a whole passel of politicians is being blackmailed, then, well, the blackmail wouldn’t work, would it? I mean, everyone would know the images were fake, right?”

  She nodded slowly. “I guess. So how long do we have to come up with the images?”

  “A day and a half.”

  She just stared at me. “Please tell me you’re kidding.”

  That didn’t sound good. I shook my head. “Unfortunately not. Mabel doesn’t want to risk the blackmailer making good on the threat.” I hesitated. “I think she’s more worried about Tommy seeing the photo than losing the chance of winning the election. But then again, if her boss at the library got wind of it, her days there would probably be numbered too. She works with a lot of kids there.”

  This was looking more and more like the kind of job I might not be able to pull off on my own.

  Liz took pity on me. Probably because I’m pretty sure I looked like I felt. A kick in the teeth, even a well-meaning one, will do that to you. “Why don’t you show me the pictures, and we’ll go from there.”

  I pulled out the photos—I’d already taped them back together. I also had a couple of printouts of the blown-up tiny unicorn symbol. Wouldn’t you know that little horned creature was the first thing that drew Liz’s attention. I guess to her, naked bodies were a dime a dozen.

  She looked from the unicorn to me, a huge grin on her face. “That symbol was in the bottom right corner of the image wasn’t it?”

  “Yes,” I said slowly, drawing the word out. “I was told it’s a kind of artist signature.”

  “Oh, it is.” She paused for effect. “And I happen to know the artist.”

  Liz seemed to be a bit confused by my singular lack of excitement. “Yes, I guess they’re pretty famous on the web. But without a name to go on, knowing their work doesn’t really do us any good.”

  She laughed. “I wasn’t saying I know their work. I know the unicorn herself. Name and all.”

  Now it was my turn to stare at her. She nodded toward the computer and rattled off a web address. I typed it in and hit enter. And just like that, my screen filled with spectacular images. The unicorn was very good at what she did. I was pretty sure a flight of dragons had never really done a flyover of New York City. Every image was perfect and seamless.

  It kind of made putting one face over another seem like child’s play.

  “Why would someone with this kind of talent be trying to blackmail Mabel? Is the artist even local?”

  Liz nodded. “She’s in Oak Hill, actually.” She frowned. “That’s a whole county removed from Wind’s Crossing. She wouldn’t have any stake at all in the local election.”

  “Then she had to do this as a work for hire. I hate to say it, but that doesn’t paint too rosy of a picture of your friend the unicorn.”

  “Oh, I don’t believe I called her a friend. She has been known to take on odd jobs from people needing mocked up documents and images. It isn’t too far to go from a doctored college degree to something like this.”

  “She doctors college degrees?”

  She shrugged. “I know of at least one she did. Not many people can afford her, though. She’s not cheap.”

  I thought about the mini-mansion the Tanners lived in. Somehow, I didn’t think money would be an issue. Not if it kept the cash flow... well, flowing.

  “So, what’s this unicorn’s name? And does she have an office?”

  Liz looked conflicted. “Her name is Britney, and no office. She works out of her home.” She chewed for a minute on her lip. “You know one of your moms once said that it might be possible to get me out of the house and off the estate. I’d like to go with you on this one.”

  My feeling of shock must have been apparent on my face because she gave me a sad kind of chuckle. “No. I’m not blackmailing you. I’ll give you her address and even directions to her house. But I do think it would be a good idea to take me along if it’s something they can manage. Let’s just say you might not get very far with Britney without me. She’s pretty close-lipped about her... clients. She has to be.”

  I scratched my head, thinking. Then I glanced at the clock. It was still early enough to make the call.

  “I’ll see what I can do. And I’m really sorry we dropped the ball on getting you off the estate. We should have followed up on that by now. You could have reminded us, you know.”

  She nodded. “I know. But you all seem so busy all the time. And truthfully, my afterlife became so much more bearable after you all moved in. But now? Yeah, I’m getting a little restless again. It would be nice to be able to get out a little.” She chuckled. “Said that lady that was a hermit in life.”

  Yeah, well, even hermits got out occasionally.

  Chapter 8

  Mom came through for us big time. She’d done the research for the spell months ago, but had then forgotten about it in all the crazy twists and turns our lives had taken in the past year. Hard to believe one family could have been through so much in such a short space of time.

  But I guess that happens when the Goddess has big plans for your famil
y. And her plans for us Ravenswinds were huge. Colossally huge. According to her, we were just getting started. And yes, it’s possible to feel excited and dreadful all at the same time with news like that.

  I didn’t want to harvest anything from my newly planted garden quite this soon, so that meant a quick drive to Mom’s house. It was totally worth it, even if it meant that the quick drive was followed by a rather lengthy visit. Lucky for me, it was a work night. So when the kids went up to bed, I said goodnight and headed out.

  Mom followed me out to the car. I could tell she had something to say. I could also tell it wasn’t something she wanted to say. That had me worried.

  “It was good seeing you tonight, Ruby.”

  “It was good seeing you, too, Mom. I’ll try to make it back again for a longer visit soon. Plus, we have that cookout on the fourth. That is still a go, right?”

  She nodded, but I could tell she was distracted. Her next words told me why. “Kimberly is working out great in the shop, but I could really use your help to stock up the potion supply. I’ve had to turn back of the shop customers away recently. I simply can’t keep up.”

  Her words might not seem like all that big a deal. But then, that’s because you don’t know my mom like I do. She was asking for help. And that was something that Opal Ravenswind rarely did.

  Even of her own daughter.

  I’d been neglecting my mom in the worst way. When Kim had come into our lives, it had been like a get out of jail free card to me, and I’d taken it and ran. That shop might mean the world to Mom, but to me? It was just a job. And a boring one at that. I hadn’t really considered that Kim would be of little help in the back room with the potions.

  “Guess I didn’t think about that. I’m sorry. I should have.” I paused. “I’m working on something kind of important right now. But once that’s handled, how’s about I take a week off from bounty hunting, and we stock up those shelves again?”