Lost Before You (Heart's Compass Book 2)

by Brooke O'Brien

  Standing up tall, I turn toward her and say, “Yeah, Sierra, I’m sure you didn’t. Now that Mason and I are done, I’m sure you thought you could weasel your little way in and take my place. How’s that going for you?” I give her a sarcastic smile, knowing full well if she’s taken my place in Mason’s bed, there’s no way he feels the same for her as he did about me.

  The smile on her face grows wide as she laughs, which only pisses me off.

  “Ah, there she is,” she says, looking over at Lissa who is standing next to me doing her best to smother her laughter.

  It takes a second for it to click that she isn’t laughing at Sierra, but at me. I feel my cheeks heat up as I turn my head toward my best friend and raise my eye brow at her, challengingly. As soon as Lissa sees the anger on my face, her expression falls and she mutters a quiet apology.

  “I’m sorry, Brea,” Sierra starts. “I swear I’m not here to make you mad. I don’t know what you think is going on between Mason and I, but I can promise you I’m not trying to replace you. I just meant it’s good to see that you’re still there and you still care. It means he hasn’t lost you for good.”

  I feel the tautness ease hearing her explanation as I work to cover the look of annoyance on my face. I still don’t trust her; hearing her just now makes me want to believe her.

  “Listen, I know you’re not my biggest fan and I understand,” as if reading my thoughts. “Hell, if I were in your shoes I’d probably hate me, too. Mason and I have a history that doesn’t exactly make me look like I’m someone you can trust. What you need to know is the friendship he and I have now is very different than it once was. He’s not the same person he used to be. I guess love will do that to you.” She chuckles, as if she knows a secret she’s dying to share with me.

  “He misses you, too, you know. More than he would ever want me to admit to you.”

  She smiles as she turns to grab the handle on the door. She pauses for a second and tilts her head over her shoulder, meeting my eyes. The smile she wore when she first walked in is back on her face, and I realize in that moment, she really means what she said.

  “Oh, and, Brea, it’s good to see you back.”

  She doesn’t say anything else as she opens the door and makes her way out into the hallway.

  “What the hell was that?” I ask, confused.

  “No clue,” Lissa says, pasting a reassuring smile on her face. I knew Lissa and Graham were in cahoots, getting me here tonight. I’m starting to wonder if Sierra didn’t play a part in it, too.

  The lights are already drawn low, but as soon as I step out of the hallway and onto the main floor, I feel his eyes on me before I see him. The connection we’ve always had to each other is still here. The warmth I feel from his stare radiates through my body.

  Standing tall, I roll my shoulders back and head toward the tables with my notepad in tow. I make my rounds, serving customers and taking their drink orders. The feel of the club tonight is unlike anything I remember from my time working at Velvet. It almost feels electric. The energy so thick, it’s pulsating. Just knowing Mason is here and watching me has a confidence pouring out of me. I want him to know what he’s been missing since he hasn’t bothered to reach out to me.

  Once I make my rounds, I head to the server station to put in my drink orders. The West bar is already busy with customers waiting in line. I’m not surprised to find Craig has four bartenders working the bar, with Mason strategically covering the end closest to our tables.

  Stepping up to the server station, Mason turns his head toward me. When his eyes fall on mine, I feel like everything I worked hard to conceal is laid open in front of him. He always could read me like a book, and I know with just one look, he can see how heartbreaking the last three months have been for me.

  Leaning in close, Mason yells over the music, “What can I get you?”

  The stubble lining his jaw is longer, and his hair has a disheveled look about it, but God, he looks so handsome. I find myself staring at him and forgetting what was even said.

  “What?” I shout back.

  Flashing me a smile, he repeats himself, “Did you need something?”

  Nodding my head, I rattle off my order to him before tearing my eyes away from him. I let my eyes roam over the busy club, to the packed crowd moving to the beat of the music.

  I feel Mason’s eyes on me once again, taking in the way my body moves. Turning my head toward him, I find him staring at me as he continues to mix the martini in the tumbler. I rub my lips together, checking my lip gloss as I smooth my skirt down.

  “I’m surprised you’re working here again,” Mason points out. He looks so handsome in his black dress shirt and black slacks. He’s wearing a silver tie tonight. The sleeves of his dress shirt are rolled up to his elbows, showcasing how incredible his forearms look.

  “Craig asked me to help knowing it was going to be a busy night. The tips were tough to pass up,” I say. I don’t tell him I was also promised he wasn’t going to be here because what’s the point?

  “You look beautiful,” he says. Peering up at him, for a second I think he regrets saying it but he doesn’t take it back.

  “Thanks,” I mutter. “You look good, too.”

  I feel like our conversation is awkward and forced, skating around all the things we want to say but don’t know how.

  He slides the drinks onto my tray. I move to slide the tray off the counter, but Mason reaches his hand out to stop me.

  “Will you talk to me before you leave tonight?” he asks. I see the hope on his face, and for a second, I find myself struggling with how to respond.

  Then I push the thought out of my mind as I peer up at him.

  “After all this time, do you really think it’s worth it? It’s been three months, Mason.”

  His nostrils flare as he looks behind me. I watch as his jaw clenches, before looking down to me once again. The emotion I see on his face makes me regret everything I just said.

  “It’s worth it to me, but I guess if you think it’s a waste of time, then I understand,” he says, pulling the towel out of his waistband and wiping off his hands.

  “Hey,” I say, covering the top of his hand with mine. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. You’re right, after the way we ended things in Arbor Creek, I think it’s time we sit down and talk about everything”

  His eyes soften as he nods his head.

  “Can I give you a ride home when we get off? Maybe we can talk then?”

  “Yeah, I’ll let Lissa know. We rode here together.”

  Flashing him a small smile, I slide my tray onto my arm and turn to walk toward my tables.

  The night flies by like a blur. I’m thankful we are busy because it leaves little time for me to think about Mason and our impending conversation. It also helps me avoid thinking about how sore my feet are going to be tomorrow when I take my morning walk.

  The DJ comes on the microphone announcing we are five minutes away from the clock hitting midnight.

  “Will you ring in the new year with me?” Lissa shouts, laughing as she throws her arms around my neck, pulling me into a hug. I can’t help but laugh at her exuberance.

  Looking over her shoulder, I see Mason working at the bar. He leans forward to slide a beer on the counter, and when he stands back up, his eyes fall on mine. He flashes me a small smile and a wink before helping another customer.

  Pulling back from Lissa, I shout over the music to her. “Hey, before I forget, I don’t need a ride home tonight. Mason is going to take me home.”

  I see the smile growing on her face, but she bites her lip to conceal it.

  “I knew you two wouldn’t be able to stay away from each other if I got you in the same room together. You’re both miserable without the other.” She laughs.

  “Alright, ladies and gentlemen. We are a minute away from the clo
ck striking midnight. If you don’t have your special someone next to you, you better find one now,” the DJ shouts.

  Wrapping my arm around Lissa’s, we look up at the wall to where the big screen is displaying Times Square and the ball dropping.

  Everyone starts to cheer as the countdown begins.

  “Happy New Year!” we yell as Lissa throws her arms around my neck in a big hug. My eyes once again look behind her, hoping to find Mason but the disappointment sinks low in the pit of my stomach when I don’t see him standing behind the bar.

  I can’t hear anything over the cheers from the crowd. Taking a step back from Lissa, her smile nearly splits her face in half at something behind me.

  “I think someone wants to wish you a Happy New Year, too,” she yells before tossing me a wink, turning around and leaving me standing here.

  Mason’s hand wraps around mine, pulling me to turn around.

  His arm finds its way around my waist, pulling me closer to his chest. Tilting his head close to my ear, I feel his heated breath on my face as he says, “I know we said we’d talk about everything and we will, but the thought of not kissing you on New Year’s was killing me. Especially seeing you in this fucking dress.”

  His chest is pressed against mine and I can feel it heave with every deep inhale. The look of longing I see chips away at any resolve I had left. His eyes search mine, as if searching for any indication I may push him away just before he leans forward and presses a soft kiss against my cheek.

  “Happy New Year, Brea,” he whispers close to my ear.

  The feel of his warm lips against my skin and his clean scent is a heady mix.

  He pulls his head back and I can’t help but feel disappointed.

  “A kiss on the cheek, Mason? Is that really how you think I want to be kissed on New Year’s?”

  The startled look on his face confirms he wasn’t expecting that question.

  “You just kissed me like I was your friend, Mason Reid. I thought we made it clear when we were in Arbor Creek there’s nothing friendly about the way you kiss me.”

  The corner of his mouth curls up in a grin as I wrap my hand around the base of his neck, crushing his lips against mine. I feel all the tension leave our bodies as we relax into each other. Mason’s grip on my hips tightens as he pulls me in closer to him. A deep groan vibrates against my lips as I open my mouth to him.

  It’s as if we forget where we are and it’s only the two of us.

  Sliding my fingers through the hair at the base of his neck, deepening the kiss. His hands are all over my body, running along my hips to cover the swell of my ass.

  With his forehead pressed against mine, he breaks the kiss and runs his soft lips along my cheek toward my ear.

  “I’ve missed you so much. I’ve thought about how much I love kissing you a thousand times. The memories are nothing compared to the real thing,” he sighs, pressing another kiss against my lips.

  Being away from Brea for three months was hard enough as it is, but watching her in that short as fuck dress was enough to bring me to my knees. She looks incredible tonight, and it’s a reminder of everything I’ve been missing for the past three months. Her toned legs looked tan against the champagne and black lace of her dress. The strappy heels she was wearing will be the star of many of my nightly dreams to come.

  When she approached me at the bar and said she didn’t think it was worth talking about what happened, I was ready to throw in the towel and leave. Remembering my conversation with Callum at the stables, I was reminded of how Ellie had kept him at arm’s length. Despite her best attempts, he didn’t give up and eventually broke down her walls.

  Brea and I had a lot of catching up to do, and I knew I owed her an apology for what I said the night we had dinner at Callum’s, but I also had questions I needed answers to, too.

  When the clock approached midnight, I couldn’t stop myself of being close to her. I was watching her and Lissa together, hugging and sharing their excitement. When she flashed me her beautiful smile, it was like my legs moved on their own accord, needing to be closer to her again.

  I knew I was skating the line when I kissed her. I was running the risk from upsetting her and having her push me out completely, but when she kissed me back, I knew I was all in. I was ready to do whatever I had to do to prove to her everything between us is more than friendship. I was ready to tell her I loved her and I would stop at nothing until she was mine.

  “Well, look at you. I think that’s the first smile I’ve seen on your face in… oh, I’d say three months.” Sierra laughs, smacking me on the shoulder.

  “I’m going to go out on a limb and say our attempt at getting Brea here tonight was a success, huh?”

  Wiping the towel along the bar, I get everything wrapped up for closing. Peering over my shoulder, I narrow my eyes at Sierra. “What are you talking about?”

  “Oh, you don’t know? Well, it looks like it worked. Lissa, Graham, and I were talking the other night about how sad and depressing you both have been lately. I mean, c’mon. It’s true! That girl has your balls in a vise grip.” Sierra chuckles.

  “Seriously,” I grunt, tossing the towel along the bar.

  “Whoa, it’s okay. You know how much I like you two together; you were happy with her. Be honest, you’ve been all broody and mopey while she’s been gone, which goes back to what I was saying. That smile on your face I just saw before I pissed you off is the first smile I’ve seen since before you left for Arbor Creek.”

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I just didn’t realize this whole plan had been orchestrated by the three fucking musketeers.”

  Hell, most of the time Brea and I were dating, if we can even call it that, Lissa rode my ass about how I wasn’t good enough for her friend and needed to grow up. I know she came from a good place, but it was like she was expecting things to fail. Like she wanted to remind me when I would break Brea’s heart, like it was inevitable, she would be there to knock me on my ass.

  “Don’t act like this isn’t exactly what you’ve been wanting. Hell, how many times have you told me you wish you could see her? All the times we would walk by The Coffee House were obvious, too, by the way. Are you going to talk to her?”

  “Yeah, once I finish this up I’m going to give her a ride home and we’re going to talk.”

  “Well, then what the hell are you hanging around here for? I’ll take care of this for you, get out of here.”

  “Really, are you sure?”

  “Yes, I’m sure. Get out of here. Oh, and do me a favor, don’t say anything stupid again like how it’s only hooking up. Women don’t like to hear that kind of shit.”

  Raising my eyebrow at Sierra, I want to laugh. Mostly because I think she is the exception to that statement. “Don’t give me that look. I just didn’t want it with you, and you didn’t either so put a cork in it. Oh, also, make sure she knows that, too.”

  “Thanks for finishing up for me. I owe you one,” I say, winking at her as I move to the employee locker rooms where I saw Lissa and Brea take off to.

  “You’re damn right you do.” She grins, as she starts shutting down the register.

  Before I leave, I quickly check the locker room in case they are still in there. After I come up empty, I head outside only to find Lissa’s car pulled up right by the door. It’s the middle of winter in Chicago, which means the temperatures are in the negative degrees. The dresses they were wearing would likely have them freezing to death.

  Holding up the remote to my Range Rover, I click the remote start before the engine roars to life. I hold the keys up as I signal to Brea I’m letting the car warm up a bit. Walking over to the passenger side, I open the door for her and hold my hand out.

  “Hi, Lissa,” I say, smiling at her.

  Brea looks at me and my hand, smiles, and places her palm in mine. Her hand feels so small an
d it dawns on me how much I’ve forgotten how this has felt.

  “Hi, Mason,” Lissa replies, flashing a wink at me. I know now she had been responsible for getting Brea here tonight. As soon as she knows I know, she throws her head back against the headrest and laughs.

  “You don’t keep her out too late, you hear me?” She giggles, knowing it’s already past two in the morning.

  “You have my word.” I chuckle before shutting the door.

  Walking Brea toward my SUV, I help her in before jogging around the front of the card to slide in.

  My hands feel stiff from the cool air. Rubbing them together, I work to add some warmth to them.

  “It’s freezing out tonight,” she sighs. I lean forward and turn the heat up on the seat warmers.

  “Where should we go?” I ask, peering over to Brea.

  “I’ll be honest, I want to talk but I’m feeling exhausted after the long night. My feet hurt and I just want to put on my pajamas. Would you mind if we went to my place and just talked there?”

  “No, that sounds perfect.”

  We don’t talk on the way to her house. The entire drive there I feel like my thoughts are plaguing me. I’ve had so many things built up in my mind I’ve wanted to say and now none of it seems relevant having her next to me.

  When we pull up outside her apartment, we park right next to Lissa. She left just a few minutes before we did so she couldn’t have been here for long. I can tell Brea is tired by watching how slow she takes the stairs in her high heels.

  As soon as we push the door open to her apartment, she is quick to bend down and unstrap her heels.

  “I’m going to go change quickly. If you want to just hang out here, I’ll be back in just a minute.”

  It doesn’t take her long before she changes her clothes. I am surprised to find her with her hair pulled up on the top of her head and her makeup removed from her face. This is the Brea I fell in love with. The woman I loved watching get dressed up for a night out, but was also ready to strip it all off and just relax for a night in. She’s the calm to my crazy at times when my mind would get too loud. She always knows how to keep me level headed.