Let's Face It

by Jodi R. Moore

  Uncle Terry smiled knowingly at him. “I’ve known that look of yours since you were a little boy, Charlie. It’s not going to work.”

  “Come on, Terry, please come. I can show you the field show video from when we won the band competition this year.”

  “I’ll think about it,” he said. “But I won’t need to see your video. I was there that day—I just didn’t sit with your parents.”

  They talked a little bit longer about school and how Charlie’s sister was doing, and then Terry said he had to leave.

  There were so many questions I wanted to ask him about the vaccine research, but I knew he and Charlie had so much catching up to do. He got up from the booth.

  Just as he was about to leave, Charlie said, “Wait—Kaylin, you can ask him what you were wondering about earlier. Your conspiracy theory.”

  “Well, I didn’t say that.” I guess I had thought it though. And Charlie’s uncle would definitely know if what I suspected was true. “I read about the acne vaccine research going on at the university—”

  “Oh, you know about that?” Terry said. “I might have to get you to work with me someday.”

  “She probably could,” Charlie said. “Kaylin’s like a science genius.”

  Terry smiled. “It’s definitely some exciting research.”

  “That’s what I was wondering,” I said. “Well, there are lots of questions I have, but do you think the reason Charlie’s dad wasn’t interested in the research was because he doesn’t really want to cure acne. Because then he wouldn’t be able to make as much money.”

  I hated saying something so mean about Charlie’s dad. But I think Charlie wanted to know, too, or he wouldn’t have brought it up.

  Terry sat back down and put his arm around Charlie.

  “There’s no conspiracy,” he said. “Trust me, Charles would find plenty of other products to make. It’s not that. It’s just that this type of research is very complex. It takes a lot of money and a very long time.”

  “It took Jonas Salk seven years for the polio vaccine,” I said. “That’s not too long.”

  “A lot has changed since then,” Terry said. He explained some of the different steps involved and how much money it takes, but the one thing he never said was that it couldn’t be done.

  “Do you think it’s at least possible?” I asked. “To create a cure for acne.”

  He got up from the booth before he responded.

  “Yes, I do.”

  After Terry left, Charlie ate his burger without saying much of anything—like he was just thinking or something. I said that his uncle seemed nice, to try to break the silence, but I could tell there was something about seeing his uncle that really bummed Charlie out.

  The waiter came back to the table after we finished our burgers. “Are you all set?” he asked.

  “Just our check,” Charlie said.

  “That won’t be necessary,” the waiter said. “Someone already took care of it.”

  We walked on the sidewalk down a hill towards the water, then turned down a path leading out to a cliff.

  Charlie sat down on the sand-covered rock, the waves crashing below us, sending sea spray into the air.

  “This is a great spot,” I said, sitting next to him.

  “The sounds—it’s like a band. Sometimes I come here when I’m working on ideas for field shows,” he said. “That must sound strange to you.”

  “Not at all.” I listened to the seagulls singing over the foamy aftermath of a wave being pulled back to sea and the roaring crescendo of a new wave slamming ashore.

  “I can’t believe my uncle was there that night we won the band competition. It was like the best and worst night ever. It was our last performance of the year, and my dad wanted it to be my last for a long while. He thought I should quit band and play football this fall. You obviously can’t play football and conduct the half-time field show. He thought I was going to tell everyone that night and they were going to announce the new drum major.”

  “You were really going to quit?”

  “I just told him I’d think about it. And I did—for like two seconds. But then I never really told him how I felt. I guess he figured it out when they announced I was drum major again. I couldn’t tell him. I didn’t think he’d understand.”

  “I know what you mean.”

  “But you’re good at that, Kaylin. You tell people what you think. And you know what? They listen to you.”

  “A lot of good that’s done so far on Project Lettuce.” Tomlin & Tomlin was going to make another product that probably wouldn’t work when what I really wished was that they’d help work on a cure.

  “You know, when I showed my dad the email you asked me to send him, I could tell it made him think a little.”

  “He actually read it?” I was glad even though I didn’t feel like it had made much of a difference so far.

  “I made sure he did.”

  “Thanks for showing it to him,” I said. “And for inviting me to the group that day.”

  “I don’t know what it is about you, Kaylin, but you get people to care. I never really cared about my dad’s company, especially after I was so mad about what happened with Terry. But now I do.”

  I might’ve been able to get Charlie to understand and care about how I felt—but maybe that was just Charlie. I couldn’t say I had that effect on other people. I didn’t win over those Science Camp judges. And then there was Sean.

  “I’m pretty sure I don’t have the same effect on everyone,” I said.

  “What do you mean?” he asked.

  I had reservations about telling Charlie about Sean, but I felt like I could tell him anything.

  “Well, like at school,” I said, “there’s one guy in particular—I just found out that he cares a lot more about a certain pretty girl he’s at Science Camp with than me.”

  “Who is this guy?” Charlie said like he was going to call him up and have a few words with him.

  “It’s nothing,” I said.

  “You like him?” Clearly, or I wouldn’t be thinking about him, I had to admit to myself. “Who’s the girl?”

  “I doubt she even likes him,” I said. “I don’t know. They’ll be back from Science Camp next week and I’ll figure everything out then.”

  “You have to talk to this dude. Guys are clueless. He’d be crazy not to like you, Kaylin.”

  Sometimes when my friends said nice things like that, I thought they were just trying to make me feel better. But I could tell Charlie really meant it. It was so nice to talk to Charlie—so much easier than talking with Sean.

  “When I try to talk to him, I never get the words out right. I end up saying way too much, and never what I really mean.”

  “I’ll talk to him,” Charlie said.

  “NO!” The thought of it made me want to go hide in the cave below us.

  “Well then, you’ll have to talk to him. We can practice. What’s his name?”

  “I think it’s time to go down to the tide pools.” I stood up, not-so-gracefully changing the subject.

  But it worked. Charlie followed me down the steps.

  Saved by the starfish.

  eleven

  There’s something about the ocean that makes me feel like anything is possible. Like when you look out at the horizon and the ocean looks like it goes on forever . . . limitless.

  Until you get to China.

  But people didn’t always know what was off in the distance. Some even thought the world was flat.

  Science proved them wrong.

  Mrs. Diaz once said that the first answer is not always the best answer. Asking questions and being open to the possibilities can lead to new discoveries. Better answers.

  The articles from Terry’s files made me question everything I had thought about acne. I used to think that if you could find a way to get rid of acne bacteria once and for all that you would finally cure acne. But one of the articles explained that some people have acne bacteria w
ithout having pimples. Acne bacteria, P. acnes to be precise, was just a first answer.

  What if people with blemishes had a different type of acne bacteria—or maybe even other microscopic organisms living in their skin? Or maybe I react differently to a certain type of bacteria than someone else who doesn’t get pimples. That’s what scientists were trying to figure out with the Human Microbiome Project. And, according to the research, they were getting close to some better answers.

  I couldn’t wait to see Sean’s vlog about his NIH visit on Tuesday. When I got home that night I raced upstairs. It was already eight-thirty in DC, and sure enough he had a new video post. Before pressing play, I could already tell from the still frame that Courtney was in the video. Not again!

  PLAY

  “Check it out,” Courtney said, while posing in a lab coat like she was pretending to be a model. “Jealous? Well you should be. I got to wear this super stylish coat at the NIH today.” She spelled out N-I-H with her fingers as she said “the National Institute of Health.”

  “That’s right,” she continued. Sean just sat there staring at her. “Everyone was checkin’ us out in our lab coats as we took the Metro to Bethesda, Maryland. And then we met some super smart scientists that told us about some of the projects they were working on. Okay, Sean. You tell them.”

  “No, keep going. I want to see how you explain this.”

  “You don’t think I can?” She twirled her hair and I swear she was flirting with him. “Fine, I’ll keep going. How should I put this. . . .” More hair twirling.

  “Okay, so you know how we all have genes? And I’m not talking about the new jeans you can get at Folstroms. Genes with a G. . . . They’re like parts of a code that hold the information for life. And there are about 20,000 different human genes in each of our cells. But this is what we learned today. We don’t just have human cells—there’s like all this other stuff inside us! We have ten times more of these other types of cells in our body than human cells.”

  Sean started laughing. “Tell them how you started freaking out about the bacteria when the scientist said we have a million different bacteria genes inside us.”

  “Okay, so like all those times I used hand sanitizer. It’s sorta pointless because the bacteria is inside us, too. I was like, Can we drink sanitizer smoothies to get rid of it? And the scientist said she was pretty sure we needed the bacteria for something. And that’s what they’re trying to figure out with their project. They’re going hello, who’s there, whatchya doing in there, how’s everyone getting along? And the scientists are like, Look at all this cool bacteria and stuff that was in Courtney. And then they’re like, Oh my gosh, Sean totally had some of the same bacteria, too. But then he had all this other stuff which must be what makes him a total weirdo.”

  Sean stopped looking into the camera and glared at Courtney. “That’s not what they are doing.”

  “Alright, maybe not the weirdo part. But the scientists are trying to figure out whether some of the differences they notice between what’s happening inside us—with our genes and also the genes of the bacteria—might be related to differences in health.”

  “And not just bacteria,” Sean added. “Other microbes, too.”

  “Every time you say that, it sounds like you’re talking about a video game. Microbes.”

  “Sounds better than microscopic organism.” He looked back at Courtney. “You know, that actually could be a cool video game!”

  “Whatever,” she said. “Are we done now? We’ve gotta get ready for the dance.”

  Dance! Gulp. I wanted to hear more about the microbiome project. Did they figure out why my skin freaks out even more than I’m freaked out about Sean and Courtney going to a dance together?

  “This is Sean, signing off from my last Science Camp video. More comin’ to you soon from back in SD.”

  “Wait, you’re not going to video the dance?” Courtney said. “Check it out, I’m going to wear my lab coat with go-go boots!” She was posing again while Sean just rolled his eyes and got up to turn off the camera.

  If I had been there I would’ve asked the scientists more questions and my video would’ve had a lot more information—except that I hated being on video.

  Watching Sean and Courtney’s video was frustrating, annoying, and definitely not helpful. The only thing worse would’ve been if Sean posted a video from the dance. There was no way I could watch them dance together. But maybe Courtney wasn’t even into him.

  But what if she was!

  Was he dancing with her right now?

  Maybe he ended up staying in his room playing video games.

  I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

  I should just text him.

  No. I should stop obsessing. That’s what Jenna would say. I called her to talk some sense into me.

  “You should call Charlie,” Jenna said after I told her about Sean’s video and how Courtney mentioned they were going to a dance, and how I couldn’t tell if she liked him. “He’ll have a guy’s perspective.”

  “How? He doesn’t even know Sean, or Courtney.”

  “But you said he’s easy to talk to, right? At the beach.”

  “I guess so.”

  “Call him and call me back.”

  “But Jenna. . . .” It was too late. She had hung up.

  I don’t know why I felt nervous all of a sudden. It was just Charlie. And he already knew about my Sean issues. Sort of.

  “Call Charlie,” I said into my phone.

  “It’s the Kay-ster,” he answered. I don’t know why I had been nervous. He actually sounded happy I called. “Are you excited about tomorrow?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You said you were going to try to call that scientist at the university if she still hadn’t written you back.”

  “Oh that, yes.” I couldn’t believe he remembered.Hopefully, there would be an email from Dr. Lee in the morning. “I was calling about something else. Can I ask you something?”

  “Yeah, anything.”

  “It’s just so hard because you don’t know them.” Although, I could show him one of Sean’s videos. . . . “I’m sending you a video to watch. Then call me back, K?”

  “Just stay on,” he said. “I’ll watch it right now.”

  I could hear Charlie listening to the video. It weirded me out a little that Charlie would know it was Sean I had been talking about at the beach. But I didn’t really have any other guy friends I could ask about this sort of thing.

  “That’s the guy you were talking about at the beach?”

  “Yeah, that’s Sean,” I said.

  “Sean,” he said. “Hmmm.”

  “I feel like such a dork.”

  “Don’t.”

  “I just . . . I dunno. I’m driving myself crazy. Jenna said I should get your opinion. Do you think the pretty blonde girl in the video likes him? Can you tell? I mean, I know girls must flirt with you a lot . . . does it look like she likes him?”

  I could hear Courtney’s high-pitched voice in the background. “Not really. She just looks like she’s into herself,” he said. I laughed. “Kaylin, you’ve gotta talk to this guy. Who cares about the girl? So, she’s funny . . . cute . . .”

  “Not helping,” I said.

  “I just mean, she’s not you. You know? If Sean doesn’t like you for you then, well, you should find someone else who does.”

  That’s why I liked talking to Charlie. He always made me feel better. Like he was on my side. Rooting for me. Wanting me to be happy. Remembering things that were important to me, like hearing back from Dr. Lee.

  “You’re right,” I said.

  “So are you going to talk to him? If you really talk to him, you’ll figure out where things stand.”

  Charlie was right. I had to at least try. “Okay, when he gets back from Science Camp,” I said. “He flies back on Friday. So I can try to see him at the beach this weekend, maybe.”

  “Maybe?” Charlie sounded li
ke he didn’t believe I’d really do it.

  I did want to see Sean, even though part of me felt like nothing had probably changed from how he felt about me before he left for Science Camp.

  But another part of me couldn’t help but wonder. If I had been at Science Camp with him, instead of Courtney, I think we would’ve gotten closer. And even though I wasn’t there, I felt like in his videos he was talking to me. He could’ve picked anything to make a video about, but it seemed like he always made videos about things he knew I’d be interested in.

  “I guess I could text Sean and tell him I liked his video tonight and see if he wants to hang out at the beach this weekend,” I said. “What do you think?”

  Charlie paused. “I think I’m gonna have to start making some videos, so I can get girls to ask me out.”

  We both laughed. Or it could’ve been just me, since it was suddenly silent on his end of the conversation.

  “Thanks, Charlie,” I said.

  “Anytime, Kaylin.”

  twelve

  Jenna was still in disbelief when I got in the car that Charlie said I should ask Sean out.

  “I thought for sure Charlie would tell you what we’ve all been saying and help you get over this never-ending crush. It’s like sheet music with the ostinato—repeat, it just keeps going on-and-on-and-on-and-on. I’m waiting for the fade out.”

  “But Sean texted me back that he would go,” I reminded her. That should’ve counted for something.

  Rachel grabbed my phone. “See, he said he was going to go. He was probably going anyway. It’s not like he’s planning a picnic for the two of you. And what did you do to your forehead. Were you picking again?”

  I had tried to cover up my latest wound with my last bits of concealer but I must not have done a very good job.

  “That’s mean, Rachel,” Jenna said.

  “I’m trying to help her. She was the one who said she didn’t want to like Sean anymore. And she knows it only makes things worse when she picks at herself.”

  She was right. But I couldn’t help it if I still had feelings for Sean. And somewhere in between waiting for Sean to text me back and obsessively checking to see if Dr. Lee replied to my email, I mashed the emerging pimple on my forehead leaving a scab that looked even worse.