Let's Face It

by Jodi R. Moore

  “It really doesn’t look that bad,” Maron said. “Your bangs cover it. And your hair looks really cute today. You curled it, huh?”

  “I did. Thanks.”

  As soon as I got to my desk, I checked my email. And kept checking in between looking through the tester comments. Still no response.

  I re-read the email I sent Dr. Lee. Had I said something wrong?

  Dear Dr. Sunny Lee,

  My name is Kaylin Bidwell, and I just read your paper about the acne vaccine. I am so glad you are working on this research. I really need it and I know many other people do, too. I was wondering what is happening now with the research. Do you know when I might be able to get the vaccine?

  I look forward to hearing back from you.

  Yours Truly,

  Kaylin Bidwell

  “Why hasn’t she written me back?” I had checked more than a dozen times already and it wasn’t even ten yet.

  “You could call her,” Charlie said. “Or we could try to find her at the university. It’s really close to here.”

  I hadn’t completely ruled out the idea. I would’ve loved to see where she did her research. The website for her lab had the address and phone number on it. I could just call. Or check my email again.

  Before I clicked over to my email, I saw a link for TEAM MEETINGS AND EVENTS.

  “What day is it today?”

  Charlie said it slowly like I must be losing my mind. “Wednesday.”

  “I meant the date.” By then I had already found it on my computer. “Dr. Lee is giving a Lunch and Learn presentation at the Salk Institute today at noon. It’s open to the public. I have to go!”

  “Is that the place up the hill from here? I’ll go with you,” Charlie said.

  “Yeah, that’s it! We can walk there.” I couldn’t believe I actually might get to meet Dr. Lee in person. This was even better than email!

  The rest of the morning I couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to meet Dr. Lee. I planned it out in my mind. After she finished her presentation I’d just go up to her, introduce myself, and ask her about the research.

  Charlie and I figured it would take fifteen minutes to walk there so by 11:45 I had everything I needed ready to go: my notepad with my list of questions, a copy of Dr. Lee’s research paper, and my mechanical pencil. As we walked down the hall I kept checking to make sure I had everything. I was more excited than nervous—but somehow it felt the same inside. I don’t think my heart was beating any faster than normal, but it definitely felt like it was beating stronger.

  As we rounded the corner, I noticed Jayla at the end of the hall walking toward us.

  “You’re sure it’s okay that we’re leaving for lunch early?” I asked Charlie. But I was just being paranoid. It’s not like a school bell rang for lunch. Sometimes when we were busy, we went later. And we went to lunch early that day they had the tostada bar since Charlie said the line would get really long—and he was right. It’s just like a tostada bar day, I thought as Jayla got closer to us.

  “I’m so glad I caught you,” she said. “I’m having lunch with Dawn Drexler in Legal. I’m running the new Clearagel Cool packaging and ad campaign by her and I’d really love to show her some of the before-and-after photos and testimonials from the testers.”

  None of that was ready. Charlie and I had been keeping track of the testers that submitted their photos and written feedback, so we could follow up with any stragglers. But there wasn’t anything I could just quickly print out and show her. There were hundreds of comments and photos we’d need to look through.

  “We don’t even know which of the testers are actually using Clearagel Cool.” There was the placebo control, and the whole double blind thing. I didn’t even know who had the real device.

  “The ones that like it are obviously using the device,” she said. “It’s just preliminary. I need to give something to the ad agency today and this was the only time I could get with Dawn.” She kept rambling, not even giving us a second to say anything. “You have everything, right? All the pictures and comments. It’s all in the portal, right? I know I can trust you guys. You just need to find the three best comments and before-and-after photos and email them to me and Dawn. I have tons to go through with her, so I’ll do that last and just show her on my iPad. Shoot, I need to go or I’m going to be late.” She didn’t even wait for a response before saying, “Thanks so much for your help. And you can just take a late lunch.”

  But I couldn’t just take a late lunch if I wanted to see Dr. Lee.

  “You go,” Charlie said to me after Jayla left. “I can do this.” But Charlie had only worked on the images. He hadn’t even used the comments area of the testing portal. It would take me too long to show him what to do, plus I had remembered a few of the best comments anyway and could find them pretty quickly.

  “It won’t take me that long to pick out the comments,” I said. “As long as I can get there by the end of the Lunch and Learn, I’ll be fine.”

  I frantically clicked around the research portal. I still felt slimy about sending the comments out of context. The test wasn’t even done. We didn’t really know if Clearagel Cool was as great as everyone thought it was. But Jayla didn’t care. She would’ve just pulled the comments and photos herself if she had the time. If I refused to do it and just ran out to meet Dr. Lee, it wouldn’t change anything—except make Jayla mad that she didn’t have them in time for her lunch meeting.

  Charlie and I pulled the examples together as quickly as we could and I wrote the email, making sure that Dawn Drexler in Legal knew that the test wasn’t even finished yet. I was a little worried that Jayla might get annoyed I added that part, but I wanted Dawn to know the truth.

  To: Jayla Fabray

  Cc: Dawn Drexler

  Subject: Preliminary Quotes

  Preliminary Tester Quotes and Photos

  Note: The test is not finished yet. Some of these quotes could be from the control group.

  It feels soothing, like I’m taking the swelling and redness away.—Tester #24

  I had a huge pimple on my chin that totally hurt but then the next day it was so much smaller and I couldn’t even feel it.—Tester #33

  The cool, tingly feeling lets you know it’s working for you. It’s like your breakouts are chillin’ out. Awesome!—Tester #85

  While I typed the email, Charlie called his dad to see if he could drive us to the Salk Institute. His dad was in a meeting, but luckily Charlie found James to take us. That would save us just enough time to make it there by the end of the presentation at 12:30. Barely.

  James said to meet him in the lobby, but when we got there, he wasn’t there. I checked my watch. 12:23. Ugh! We looked outside.

  I could run there. It was less than a mile. I might be sweaty, but there was still a chance I could make it in time to meet Dr. Lee. A very low probability, but better than nothing.

  I was just about to tell Charlie my new plan when James finally showed up. Charlie and I followed him to his car. Could he walk any slower? I kept glancing down at my watch. 12:26.

  Did I have everything? Where was my pencil? What did it matter now—it’s not like I had time to go back and get anything. 12:27.

  Every stoplight I kept thinking I should’ve just run there. 12:30. 12:32.

  At 12:34, James dropped us off in the parking lot, and then I ran toward the visitors center.

  12:35.

  Why did I keep looking at my watch? It was just making me more stressed. I ran up to a counter that had a visitors guide and brochures on it and, most importantly, someone sitting there to help me figure out where to go.

  “Welcome to the Salk Institute, can I help you?” an older woman said.

  “I’m here for the Lunch and Learn presentation,” I said. “The one with Dr. Sunny Lee.”

  “Ooh, I’m afraid you missed it dear. I just saw everyone leave.”

  “The one that started at noon? In the theater?” I couldn’t believe it. Charli
e had caught up to me, but by then I had already noticed some doors open under a sign marked theater. I took a few steps closer and could tell the woman was right.

  If I had been alone in my bedroom I would’ve shouted NOOOOOOO!!! I was shouting inside and quickly covered my face before one escaped.

  “I’m sorry, Kaylin,” Charlie said, not that he had anything to apologize for.

  “We have the Lunch and Learns every Wednesday,” the woman said, trying to make me feel better. “The speaker next week should be really interesting! And our cafeteria is still open so at least you can do the lunch part today.”

  “That sounds good,” Charlie said.

  That sounds terrible, the look on my face must’ve shown. Any other day, it would’ve been nice. Just not the day when I was supposed to be talking to Dr. Lee, finding out what was happening with the vaccine research.

  The woman handed Charlie a map. “It’s just past the fountain, last building on the left. The pizza is delicious.”

  I walked quickly outside, barely keeping myself together. I don’t want pizza!!!

  thirteen

  Either Charlie was oblivious to how upset I was or maybe he was just trying to help me feel better.

  “What a view,” he said, when he caught up to me.

  I looked up and even with all the disappointment weighing me down, I couldn’t help but breathe in the beautiful surroundings. A trickle of water streamed through a narrow fountain, directing my gaze out to the horizon where the blue sky met the ocean.

  It was a beautiful place. Calming—which I needed. Peaceful—except for a woman near us on her cell phone.

  I looked back at the woman.

  How could I have walked right past her and not noticed? She looked just like her picture on the website, except I didn’t recall her having purple streaks in her hair. And she was taller than I imagined—purple-er, louder—but it was definitely Dr. Lee!

  “That’s her,” I whispered to Charlie, like she was some kind of celebrity. She was, to me.

  I walked closer to the fountain. I wasn’t going to interrupt her phone conversation, but as soon as she hung up, I’d have my chance to talk to her.

  While I was waiting, I looked at the fountain. Etched in the concrete, right where I stood, were the words from one of my science heroes:

  Hope lies in dreams, in imagination

  and in the courage of those who

  dare to make dreams into reality.

  Jonas Salk

  I took a picture of the quote with my phone. I couldn’t believe I was at the Salk Institute, founded by someone who changed the world by helping to conquer polio, and standing just a few steps away from me was someone whose research could really change my life.

  I wasn’t trying too hard to overhear her conversation, just a little.

  But what about the other company? . . .

  That’s too bad he doesn’t have the money? . . .

  Isn’t there anyone else? . . .

  I really thought with this one—

  Yeah, I know . . . I will. Okay . . . Bye.

  She put the phone in her pocket and took a deep breath, looking out at the ocean. I didn’t know what the conversation was about, but whatever it was, wasn’t good news.

  I realized this wasn’t the best time to talk to her—but it was the only time I had.

  “Excuse me,” I said tentatively, taking a few steps closer. “Are you Dr. Sunny Lee?”

  “Yes,” she said.

  “I’m Kaylin Bidwell.” Charlie stepped closer to us.

  “Hi,” she said. “Were you at the Lunch and Learn?”

  “We just missed it,” I said. “I sent you an email last week. I read your article about how you gave the mouse acne and then cured it. That’s amazing! I was wondering what’s happening now with the vaccine.”

  “Oh, I remember your email. Sorry I didn’t get back to you. I was busy getting my presentation ready for today.”

  “That’s okay,” I said. “I read in your paper that the vaccine hadn’t been tested with people yet. Is that what’s happening now?”

  “No, not yet,” she said, sounding a bit disappointed.

  “Maybe I could be part of the test!” I said. “I mean, as soon as you do it. Will it be soon?”

  “Well . . .” From the way she hesitated, it seemed like there wasn’t a simple answer to my question. “There’s still a lot that needs to happen before the vaccine would be ready for a clinical trial. There needs to be a toxicology study and a pharmacokinetics study.”

  “Pharm-a-cocoa what?”

  “There are tests that have to be done to make sure the vaccine is safe, and that all happens before the FDA application—before you’re even allowed to do a clinical trial.”

  “So, is that what you’re working on now? Making sure the vaccine is safe enough to do more tests?” I asked.

  She smiled. “What did you say your name was?”

  “Kaylin.”

  “And I’m Charlie,” he added.

  Dr. Lee had a look on her face like she didn’t quite know what to make of me. “You’ve asked some great questions, Kaylin. I wish I had more time, but I have to get back to the lab. You two are welcome to walk with me. It’s just across the street at the university.”

  That sounded good to me. Steps closer to her lab—maybe even steps closer to the possible cure she wrote about in her paper, although it sounded like there were still a lot of tests that needed to happen. “I’d love to see how you do the research—like those studies you said you have to do to make sure the vaccine would be safe for humans.”

  “At the university we don’t typically do those types of studies. We work on the initial discoveries and then a company who has experience making vaccines does the next studies and the Investigational New Drug Application with the FDA.”

  “So which company is doing that?” If I knew who it was then maybe I could find out from them when the vaccine would be ready. Maybe I could even work for that company next summer!

  Dr. Lee was walking almost as fast as she talked. “There were a few companies interested when my research paper first came out last year, but nothing came of it. The studies that need to be done cost about a million dollars. It’s hard to find companies willing to invest that kind of money at this stage.”

  “A million dollars to cure acne?” Charlie said. “That doesn’t seem like a lot.”

  Especially when your dad has many millions of dollars, I thought.

  We followed Dr. Lee down a shaded path, surrounded by eucalyptus trees, that lead to a cluster of buildings. She seemed to take her time thinking of the best way to describe the situation.

  “A lot of things that work in the lab might not work for people,” she explained. “Discoveries like mine aren’t always able to pass the next tests. So it’s a risk to invest in the tests—an expensive risk. That’s why it’s hard to find companies that will do it. It’s called the Valley of Death.”

  “Sounds like a horror movie,” Charlie said. “Where good discoveries go to die.”

  “That’s what you call it?” I asked. “The Valley of Death?”

  “Not just me,” Dr. Lee said, stopping in front of one of the buildings. “That’s what it’s commonly referred to. It’s a problem everyone recognizes. A million dollars for tests which may—or may not—show that the research is viable for humans. It’s a lot of money. In my lab, a million dollars could lead to new breakthrough discoveries for other types of diseases. See, our focus here at the university is on the discoveries not the drug development. You want to come in and see what we do here? I have a few more minutes.”

  “I would love to,” I said.

  “Yeah, that’d be cool,” Charlie said, but I was pretty sure he just said that because he knew how much I’d want to see it.

  As we walked around the lab, I tried to remember all the questions I had after I read Dr. Lee’s research paper. But I didn’t want to look down at my notes because there was so much to see.
r />   Dr. Lee showed us how she grew acne bacteria on Petri dishes with a mix of materials that were similar to the environment that acne bacteria live in—an environment without oxygen. She put the Petri dishes in a container that creates an oxygen-free environment after the ingredients of a special pouch react together. And she told us that the particular strain of acne bacteria she was working with had a slightly different genetic code than other strains which some research scientists discovered during the Human Microbiome Project. Dr. Lee was the first person to create a vaccine to target this specific strain of acne bacteria.

  After seeing everything in Dr. Lee’s lab and getting to ask her my questions, I couldn’t help but think it was like the best day of the summer and worst day all combined together. I felt closer than ever to a cure. So close, I could see it right in front of me in the Petri dishes and papers showing the results of Dr. Lee’s initial research. But still so many steps to go before a cure would be ready—and nobody willing to take them.

  “The next studies cost a million dollars? And nobody has said they’ll do them?” If that really was the situation I wondered if she was even more frustrated than I was. Doubtful. Her skin looked much better than mine.

  “Not yet,” she said. “There is a newer company interested, I can’t say who, but they don’t have the money yet. I’ll know more after their big conference next week.”

  I looked at Charlie to see if he caught what I did and I was pretty sure he had. She had to be talking about the conference—the one we’d spent all week preparing for—the one Clearagel Cool would be debuting at. It was sounding like Tomlin & Tomlin might not be the only company with big news at the conference. But who was this mystery company? I wished I knew.

  We were nearly back to where we first entered the lab, when I noticed Dr. Lee’s name etched into a plaque on the wall next to an open door. “Is this your office?”