#1 Muse ~ T. Gephart

by Gephart, T

  Between avoiding Scully, getting in the car and pretending to be the president of Roman’s fan club, I had barely noticed how much Nick was touching me. My fingers when he led me to the car, my knee when he was talking, and now his thumb was rubbing the back of my hand. I could have pulled it away, but I didn’t. Instead I pretended I hadn’t noticed it and let him keep touching me. It wouldn’t be the first time I pled ignorance when it came to him.

  “Sooooo.” I tried to think of something to say that was safe in friend territory. “I hear we’re getting our contracts today, that’s exciting.”

  He glanced over, his hand steady as his smile hooked a little at the side. “You worried I’m not going to sign, screw you out of your deal?”

  “No,” I scoffed. “And if anyone got screwed out of not signing, it would be you. How you going to maintain your decadent lifestyle eating ice cream shirtless if you don’t get the millions they are probably promising you?”

  He threw his head back and laughed. “You know I still have a job on The Blue Line, right? I think I’ll manage. And speaking of ice cream.” His head tipped to the windshield, a small ice cream shop coming into view.

  It was tiny; the single fronted shop barely visible at all except for the faded yellow and white awning. He parked the car on the curb and killed the ignition, bringing our linked hands to his lips. “I need consent.” His mouth twitched, hovering above my knuckles.

  I rolled my eyes, trying not to smile. “My hand and nothing else.”

  His eyes stayed on mine as his lips touched my skin—gently, teasingly—stroking my hand as he kissed it.

  The confined space of the car made it difficult to breathe, especially when he was looking at me like he was and being so sweet. “I know what you’re doing,” I whispered.

  “What? Taking you out for ice cream?” His brow rose, the mix of faux innocence and surprise he was trying to convey only hampered by his wicked grin. “I thought you liked ice cream, or was it me eating it?”

  I swallowed—hard—as I slowly extracted my fingers, trying to maintain my smile as I opened the door and stepped outside.

  It was either that or leap into his lap and make out with him in the car. Oh, I still hadn’t forgiven him, far from it, but that didn’t mean the man couldn’t turn me on with a glance of his sexy brown eyes. And sex didn’t have to be emotional, maybe just fucking him would work out some of the aggression and clear my head so I could think clearly.

  No.

  I couldn’t sleep with him.

  Ice cream, we were going to get ice cream and then I’d go back to being mad at him. Or hurt by him. Or whatever I had been feeling that wasn’t turned on.

  “You know,” I shuffled indignantly onto the curb, “I wasn’t mad because they gave it to Audrey.”

  He got out of his car, leaning against the side as he nodded. “I know.”

  “You know what?” I asked, wondering if he was only saying it to appease me. You know, just nod, agree and let it blow over. But that wouldn’t work.

  “I know it’s because of me, because I lied to you.”

  Okay, so maybe he knew.

  Weren’t we supposed to be getting ice cream or something? The conversation felt way too serious to be had on the sidewalk.

  “So you gonna take your shirt off too, or is that just for Instagram?” I tipped my head to the store behind us, hoping to break the moment.

  He laughed, sauntering to where I was standing and whispered. “Someone’s been stalking my page.”

  “A cursory glance, barely even noticed.” I smirked, pushing the door open and strolling into the store.

  Inside was empty, the rundown theme of the place carried through in its worn out tables and chairs, whose color had probably bled out right around the time Ronald Reagan was president.

  There wasn’t much “color” in the woman behind the counter either. She was polite enough, but barely cracked a smile, serving us our cones and completing the transaction like we’d been at an ice cream ATM.

  “I swear, nothing I do impresses her.” Nick laughed as we walked outside to the single table in front of the store. “Eric and I came in here once and left a five hundred dollar tip, she nodded her head shoved the money in the cash drawer and wiped down the counter like we’d handed her a fiver. If you ever need someone to keep your ego in check, she’s the woman to do it.”

  “That why we’re here, you need your ego checked?” I asked, licking my cone and taking a seat on one of the plastic outdoor chairs.

  He took the other chair, paying more attention to my ice cream than his own. “No, we’re here because I wanted to talk to you and didn’t want to take you to my house. I needed somewhere we wouldn’t be bothered.” He looked around to the mainly deserted street. “The ice cream is just the bonus.”

  I ignored his comment about the ice cream and the way his nostrils flared every time I took a lick. It may have given me more pleasure than it should, but to be fair, the ice cream was really that good. “You didn’t want to take me to your house?”

  When we got in the car, trying to put distance between us and Slugger Scully, I’d assumed his house was going to be our destination. I hadn’t really thought much about it, other than getting away from my house. So I was surprised when that was where we didn’t end up.

  “I’m trying to be respectful, but I’m not a fucking saint.” He blew out a curse. “If I got you into my house, alone, I’m not sure I would have been able to stop myself from pushing you up against a wall and kissing you.”

  My tongue stopped mid-lick, my body heating at his suggestion. “Well . . .” I paused, making another pass along the base of the cone as I looked up at him. “I guess my tongue is getting action either way.”

  The cone in his hand disintegrated, crushed as his fist tightened around it, the ice cream dropping to the ground. Fire burned in his eyes, his tongue swiping across the bottom of his lip as he swallowed hard. “I’m going to say what I’m going to say and you’re going to listen.” His voice a rumble. “After that you can choose, we can get in my car and I’ll take you anywhere you want, and you can go back to hating me. Or we get in my car and I take you back to my house. And Claire, it won’t be only to kiss you, so make your choice carefully.”

  It was my turn to swallow, feeling my body ignite like he’d stripped me bare and spoken those words directly into my core. “Okay.” I nodded, losing interest in the ice cream and tossing it into a trashcan beside us.

  “Jeremy called me the morning after Scully went to the hospital. I was home waiting to hear from you and checking the clock every ten minutes gauging how long I should wait before getting in the car and coming back.”

  I nodded, letting him know I was listening and urging him to continue.

  “During the course of the conversation he told me that ShowPlace read it, fell in love with it and wanted it. But they wanted Audrey and me—the package deal.”

  “And you just agreed?” I shot back defensively.

  “No, I didn’t just agree.” He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. “I told him how shady it was and that I didn’t like that they would bring on another writer. But I’m not Eric, Claire. I’m a main character on an ensemble, and I haven’t sold anything on my own name. He told me to be smart, take the part, and while it wasn’t ideal, that you would still get credit. It was a step forward.”

  I rolled my eyes, the whole idea I should be thankful for the scraps that were tossed my way was infuriating.

  “Claire, listen to me.” He grabbed my hands. “One of your best friends was in the hospital, and no one had any idea if Sebastian was going to be okay. I made an executive decision. I signed the stupid NDA, Jeremy went into negotiations, and we worried about getting Scully through the next couple of weeks. I couldn’t risk you getting upset and something happening to any of you.”

  “What do you mean?” I narrowed my eyes, trying to understand.

  He blew out a breath, the weight of it obvious as his
shoulders sagged. “I am not justifying what I did, Claire. I’m not trying to manipulate you after the fact.”

  “About what?” I shook my head still not getting what he meant.

  “I didn’t want Scully to lose the baby, okay,” he cursed out, his eyes flooded with torment. “I didn’t want you to be upset, tell Scully, and it put her further at risk. I like your friends, Claire. They’ve been good to me and they love you. And given the choice of dealing with it—no matter how badly—and giving you a break, I was going to take it. You weren’t sleeping, hardly remembering to eat and going out of your mind with worry. Be pissed at me, hate me, if that’s what you need, but I did what I thought would hurt you and your friends the least.”

  Timing, they say, was everything.

  It felt like a bomb had gone off, the pieces of what I knew and what I thought I knew scattered as I tried to hold them together.

  I had no idea of the timing, no idea that when I had been sitting by Scully’s bedside, hoping, praying and doing whatever else I could think of, that had been when Jeremy told Nick. And yeah, things were tough, especially those couple of days until her contractions stopped. I felt like I couldn’t breathe until Sebastian was born, safe and healthy and out of danger.

  Words didn’t come. Anything I could think of saying felt inadequate.

  “Claire, I’m sorry. The last thing I wanted out of any of this was to hurt you.”

  I couldn’t hear anymore, I pushed away from the table and stood. “Please, don’t say anything else.” I held my hands up, wanting him to stop talking.

  He still should have told me. And yes, things had been intense during that time, but I would have been okay. But his reasons for wanting to protect me and Scully were so freaking sincere, it was difficult to be angry.

  Nick rose from his seat, grabbed his keys from his pocket and started walking toward the car. “Pretty much all I had to say anyway, so let me know where you want me to drive you and we’ll go.”

  He was already standing beside his car, hitting the lock, holding the passenger side door open, and waiting for me to get inside. I followed him, stopping when he was in front of me and looked into his eyes. “Goddamn it, Nick.” I pulled him toward me and kissed him like I’d wanted to do since I saw him sitting on my steps.

  Our mouths met in a heated rush, his eyes widened in surprise but it only took him a second before he took what I was giving him and grabbed it with both hands.

  He grabbed me too.

  My body was pushed against the side of the car, his fingers holding my face as our kiss intensified. I was burning, so in need of getting close to him that I literally couldn’t get enough. I leaned into him, desperate to touch him as a low growl traveled up his throat.

  “Get in the car, Claire,” he groaned at my lips. “I need you alone.”

  My kisses lingered, the idea of tearing myself away offensive, as I held onto his body. Every part of me ached, the wanting so intense, I thought I would split apart.

  “Car. Now.” He pulled himself away, his eyes so fevered I was surprised he was able to stand.

  I didn’t argue, folding myself into the car and slamming the door as he jogged to the other side. He threw himself into the driver’s seat, starting the car and putting it in drive before I’d even had a chance to fasten my seatbelt.

  “Nick.” My hand grabbed his thigh, traveling up toward the front of his jeans. “I want you inside of me.”

  “Jesus Christ.” His knuckles turned white, grinding his teeth as he tore down the road, weaving through traffic to get to his house.

  Not able to stop, my fingers palmed the hard ridge in his pants, rubbing him through his jeans. My own body responded, fierce tension unfurling in between my legs as I rubbed my thighs together.

  Nick looked down at my hand, biting his lip as his chest rose and fell with heavy breaths. “When we walk in that door, I’m going to fuck you. I wanted this to be sweet and gentle, but I don’t think I am capable of that now.”

  “Yes,” I moaned, my nipples straining against the front of my blouse, just wishing he would do it already. Between my legs, I felt myself get wet, the building tension making me slick and hot and desperate for release. “I thought you told me this car was fast, drive faster.”

  He didn’t disappoint, speeding toward his house like we were in pursuit. And in case he needed any extra encouragement, I stroked him through his jeans, feeling him harden under my palm as he cursed under his breath. Slamming on the brakes, we skidded into his driveway and came to a stop. We didn’t speak, getting out of the car like it was on fire and running to his front door.

  “Fuck.” He grabbed me, kissing me hard against his door while his hands fumbled with the keys. “God, I want you.” The metal click of the key engaging, popping open the lock as the door gave way from behind me.

  I felt myself tumble, Nick’s hands steadying me as he pulled me against his body as he kicked closed the door and started what he finished outside.

  Arms and legs tangled as I tried to pull off my jacket and he undid his pants. He dug in his wallet for a condom, slipping it on before even sliding down his boxers, his cock in his hand as hard as a rod.

  “Inside of me,” I begged, pulling up my skirt and pulling down my underwear.

  Undressing was taking too long and if he didn’t fill me in the next second, I felt like I might explode. He didn’t miss a beat, yanking down his jeans around his hips and pushed me against the back of his couch. His fingers gripped me tight as he rubbed his hard length along my opening. “You ready for me?” he asked, my body flooding with desire as the head of his cock circled my slickness.

  “Fuck. Me.”

  The two words were all he needed to hear, driving into me in a fast thrust that filled me root to tip. My body seized, the invasion amplifying the deep desperate throb between my legs as I closed my eyes to feel him. Every part of me was awake, my pulse racing as he drew out and slammed back in, the shiver felt in my body and my soul.

  I wanted it.

  I wanted it hard and fast and without apology, making me feel that he was there, in me, wanting me as desperately as I wanted him.

  We didn’t speak, kissing and moaning as our hips rocked, the dam inside of me feeling like it was going to burst.

  “Claire.” My name tore out of his throat as I felt my muscles tense, and with one more swing of his hips I was shouting his name over and over again as my body trembled.

  Every part of me felt like it had been lit on fire, pulsing, as the wave consumed me whole. He held on, chasing it until he came with a raw guttural growl.

  “You okay?” His lips found mine as he tried to catch his breath. His body was slick with sweat, his hair a mess, and his face so full of concern it made my heart ache.

  I nodded, unable to answer as the freight train in my chest tried to get back on the rails. If that had been just sex, I was sorely mistaken. It might have been fast and hard, but there was nothing about what we did that wasn’t deep and emotional as well.

  He pulled me toward him, holding me close as his heart thumped loudly beneath his chest. I loved the sound, the strong, steady beat reminding me what we’d just done.

  “Does this mean you forgive me or was that just angry sex?” I felt his grin as he leaned down and kissed the top of my head. “Either way I’m not complaining. Just need to know if I have to get you angry again later.”

  I pushed against his chest, shaking my head. “That was frustrated, built up tension, I missed you, sex.” I laughed. “And all you need to do later is be hard.” My core squeezed his cock still inside me.

  “That is not a problem.” He lifted my chin and kissed me. “Probably achievable sooner than you think.”

  His mouth languished over mine, slower, taking his time over every inch of my lips as I felt him pull out. My body shivered at the loss, seeking the warmth of his touch even though we’d just had sex. It was like I’d been starved, needing to binge on him in order to make it feel real.

/>   “You want to take this to my bedroom?” His thumb traced my jaw leaving a trail of tingles in their wake. “I really want to get you out of these clothes and love you properly this time.”

  I looked down at our half-dressed state, items pushed up, down or aside in haste, and laughed. “I think you did pretty good the first time, but getting out of my clothes sounds amazing.”

  He kicked off his shoes, stripping out of his clothes before scooping me up in his arms. I nestled close to his chest, kissing it as he strode to the bedroom like I weighed nothing.

  My back hit the mattress as he lowered me onto the bed, kissing my neck before whispering, “I’ll be right back.”

  His perfect body turned giving me an amazing view of his ass as he walked into his adjoining bathroom. Man, I could get used to that view. Not just his ass—although, hello, it was pretty spectacular—but him, telling me he would be right back.

  I rolled to a sit, using the time I had to unbutton my blouse and slip it off. Next was my skirt, my fingers twisting to the side trying to find the zipper and finally getting it down. And by the time he’d returned, I was laying leisurely on the bed—naked—trying to look seductive.

  He stood at the doorway between the bathroom and his bedroom, leaning on the jamb as he looked at me. “I thought I was going to get to do that.” He pointed to the pile of clothes on the floor. “I was looking forward to peeling them off you slowly and showing you my appreciation with my mouth.”

  Man, he was such a giver.

  Almost made me want to put them back on if only so we could take them off, my body shivering at the thought of his hot mouth all over me.

  “So.” He strolled to the edge of the bed, leant over and captured my chin. “You never answered my question.”

  “Yes.” I smirked looking down at his naked body and not imagining I’d be saying anything else to any request he had. Maybe even hell yes, and even more likely, a string of breathy yeses.

  “You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?” He knelt on the bed, stalking closer to me and kissing my neck. “Having trouble with your attention span, beautiful?”