#1 Muse ~ T. Gephart

by Gephart, T

  Well when he kissed me like that there wasn’t a lot of anything I could keep track of. “Of course I know what you’re talking about. You wanted to know if I wanted to crawl under the covers so you can.” Kiss, kiss—his mouth was unrelenting. “Screw what was left of my brains out.”

  He lifted his head away from my skin, his finger tracing the bridge of my nose. “Trust me when I tell you, I’ll get to that. But first you need to tell me, are we good here? Because I’m not letting you out of this bed until this is a permanent thing.”

  My pulse raced, finding the proposition both endearing and sexy as hell. I mean, if I had to be kept somewhere permanently, Nick Larsson’s bed sounded like a good place to be. “You going to tie me to the bed and hold me hostage?”

  “If that’s what it takes,” he smirked. “I’ll try not to enjoy it.”

  That smile of his was dangerous.

  Always had been and always would be.

  “I love you.” It was the only answer I could have given him, the only one that made sense when he talked about being together. “I’m here, and you don’t have to hold me hostage.”

  He pulled me into a hug, his body engulfing me whole. “I love you too.”

  I didn’t want to be angry anymore. And in my heart of hearts, I knew he did what he did because he cared. There was no way that behind those beautiful brown eyes that held so much tenderness, there could ever be malice.

  I saw that now.

  And sure, maybe we needed to work on things, but there was always room for improvement.

  But there was no way I could let him go.

  “YOU KNOW THIS ISN’T GOING to be easy, right? You hurt me, so they hate you.” I looked over at Nick, his hand relaxed on the steering wheel.

  He laughed, unconcerned about the litany of expletives that was awaiting him the minute we got back to my house. If Scully didn’t curse him out—her swear ban in place because of the baby—then Luke would more than make up for it with a few choice words for him for sure—both of them furious for the heartbreak I’d suffered.

  “I like to live dangerously. Besides, what’s the alternative? Sneak around behind their backs and pretend we’re not in a relationship? I don’t like your chances of me doing anything that doesn’t involve us being together.”

  Man, I hoped Scully had gotten a decent nap. Anger, sleep deprivation and her baseball bat were a deadly mix.

  Still, it did sort of thrill me that he was willing to go to my house even though he knew he’d probably be unwelcome. That he felt the need to make it right, even at the expense of being cussed out and probably asked to leave.

  Doing that—putting me ahead of his own personal preservation—was probably the most romantic thing ever; beat the hell out of standing on my lawn with a boom box.

  “Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I shrugged, knowing that trying to convince him otherwise was a lost cause. “Also, have I told you that I love you?”

  His grin widened, bringing our interlocked fingers to his lips. “Yes, but I never get sick of hearing it. I love you too, beautiful.”

  As we approached my house, my guts twisted in a knot. I was excited and nervous all at the same time. My friends were important, and while there wasn’t a chance I’d give him up, their opinion mattered so much to me. I didn’t need them to be okay with it, but I really wanted them to.

  Nick parked his Mercedes in the same place it had been before, cutting the engine and turning to look at me. “I love you, Claire. Not Scully, Luke or anyone else is going to convince me that being with you isn’t a good idea. I don’t care what amount of shit I need to crawl through to make it work, it is worth it to me.”

  Jesus.

  My Heart.

  The overwhelming feeling to grab him and hug him so strong I had to clutch my chest. He was my forever, no matter how hard our road was going to be, he was it for me. Scully would see that and be happy for us.

  Reaching across I gave him a quick kiss, pulling back intentionally because I knew anything more and I probably wouldn’t be able to stop. That would not be a good way for either of my best friends to find out we’d rekindled our relationship, seeing us making out in the car in the street.

  Taking a deep breath, I stepped out of the car, Nick joining me on the sidewalk. He grabbed my hand, clutching it tightly as we walked up to the door and watching me with a smile while I opened it.

  “Claire? Is that you?” Scully called from the kitchen. “Luke said he made reservations tonight at—”

  She stopped, having walked around to the living room and seeing Nick Larsson with his arm around me. “How long was I asleep?” She looked at me, searching for an answer.

  “Hey, Scully.” Nick tipped his head in her direction, playing it cool.

  Her eyes hardened, thinning her lips into a tight line that could only mean bad things. “Don’t hey me. We’re still mad at you.” She turned to look at me. “We’re still mad, right?”

  “Well . . .” My hand rested on his chest as I tilted my head to look into his eyes. “No, we’re not still mad.”

  Scully’s arms flopped to her sides dramatically. “But he hurt you, Claire.”

  Loaded with the words of his defense, I’d opened my mouth when Nick stopped me. “I did, and I’m sorry. And I promise I’ll never do it again.”

  No excuses, no explanations—zip.

  It would have been easier if he told her the truth. That we had been ear deep in crisis when he found out about the deal, and he thought he was doing the right thing. And that even though his motives were sound, he still wished he’d done it differently. He could have told her all the things he’d told me, knowing that once she’d heard them she would have probably thawed. How could she not, especially when he’d been so concerned about her and her son. But he didn’t, willing to carry it all, even if it meant things were difficult for him.

  She glared at him, swinging her eyes back to me and noticing my smile before shaking her head. “I love Claire like a sister, and if you ever—”

  “I won’t.” He cut her off, the smugness in his smile dropping. “I won’t. And if I do, you won’t need to take me out, I’ll do it myself.”

  Scully sighed, tossing her eyes to the ceiling. “Why does he have to be so damn charming?”

  “I know,” I agreed, laughing as the tension in the air eased. “He really is hard to be mad at.”

  Her face softened, the hard lines of anger easing as she walked over to me. “Well if you’re happy, babe, then I’m happy.”

  Nick chuckled. “I’m right here, Scully.”

  She held her hand up, pretending to ignore him. “Uh-uh, you might be charming, Larsson, but I’ll push that to the side if my Claire isn’t bursting at the seems with contentment.”

  I nodded, reaching out and hugging her. “I am, really and truly bursting.”

  “Fine.” She rolled her eyes. “Then we’re all happy.” She tossed her arms around Nick and pulled us into a group hug.

  Our feel-good moment only lasted a minute before we were interrupted by the sound of crying.

  “Duty calls.” Scully loosened her hold, giving us a smile. “That vibrating chair thing that all the blogs swear by is bullshit. He’ll only sit in it for thirty minutes before he hates it.”

  Scully walked to the direction of the crying, leaving us in the living room by ourselves. “One down, one to go,” I whispered.

  “Don’t worry about, Luke.” Nick kissed the top of my head.

  I pulled back, curious as to why I didn’t need to worry about the man who until recently wanted to put his head on a spike. Dramatic I know, but Luke had just wrapped up working on a period drama and had sourced many a spike and found them to be most efficient as well as decorative.

  “Luke came to see me this morning.”

  “What?” I don’t know if I could have sounded more surprised if I’d tried, unable to add “the fuck” after it.

  His hand rubbed against my arms, his brow furrowing in
concern. “Look, don’t get mad, it wasn’t about you. And even though I tried everything I could to get him to talk about how you were, he wouldn’t budge saying that he wasn’t telling me shit.”

  “So why?”

  He bit his lip, cautiously choosing his words. “Because I’d let him know there was an opening in the wardrobe department for next season.”

  “Scully?”

  “I swear, Claire, I wasn’t trying to use it as an opportunity to get to you.” The sincerity shone in his eyes. “But Rita quit, and I knew that Scully had given up her job the night she went into labor.”

  I remembered that night. How considerate he’d been, inviting her out to try to cheer her up, and how concerned he was for her when it all went bad. She’d given up her job, with no plans for the future, something we hadn’t even talked about since Sebastian’s birth even though I knew she was worried.

  “She’s got experience and it would mean she’ll get the rest of the summer to be with Sebastian. Then in the fall, come to work with us. It’s a solid seven-month contract, and I’m on good terms with the producer so he took my recommendation. Plus, we’re a family show, she can probably bring her son on set.” He grinned. “And then I can hang out with my little buddy between takes.”

  I shook my head, not understanding his reasoning if it wasn’t an attempt to win me back. “But why would you do that?”

  “Because Claire, like I said to you back at my house. I like your friends, and I had the power to fix something. Maybe part of me hoped that with both Luke and Scully working with me I’d win them over and convince them to tell you what an amazing guy I was.” His smile hooked at the side making him look adorable.

  I laughed, wondering if he was crazy, willing to wait until filming started again in order to try to win me back. “That was one hell of a long game.”

  He shrugged. “It was the only one I had.”

  “Are you and Luke BFFs now?” I pushed lightly at his chest, pretending I was concerned at being replaced.

  He scrunched up his nose, shaking his head. “Not quite, but I told him I was going to do everything I could to get you back. We shook hands, deciding that you would make your own decisions and he wouldn’t stand in my way if that was what you wanted.”

  “Oh, really?” I planted my hands on my hips, admiring that the two of them had worked out their differences. It couldn’t have been easy, Luke was fiercely loyal, but he also knew I wasn’t someone that could be told what to do. I guess he figured if I ended up back with Nick, then he—like Scully was—would be happy for me.

  “Jesus, Larsson.” Luke slammed the door behind us, shoving his keys in his pocket. “You work fast. Thought you would give it a day or two.”

  He walked over to me, studying my expression as he gave me a hug. “You okay, sweetheart?”

  I nodded, giving his arms a squeeze. “I’m good,” looking up at Nick, “Really good.”

  “Scully seen him yet?” He looked down the hall where Scully’s bedroom was. “You know she still has that bat.”

  “She’s seen him and she’s happy for me too.” I moved my arms to Nick. “And she hasn’t even heard about the job offer yet.”

  A sheepish grin crossed Nick’s lips. “I figured I had to win her back on my own merit. Then, if I fell short, I’d toss it in as a sweetener.”

  On cue, Scully walked in with Sebastian cradled close to her chest. The little guy looked content in his mother’s arms while Scully looked like a natural. Fuck Pru and her classes, my best friend was rocking motherhood.

  “We’re not mad anymore.” Scully tipped her head in Nick’s direction, leaning over to give Luke a kiss on the cheek.

  Luke nodded. “I see, what a surprise.” His face showed anything but surprise. “Well, I guess I better call and add an extra to the reservation.”

  “You guys had plans?” Nick’s eyes moved from Scully to me. I’d been so caught up in our reunion, there hadn’t been time to tell him my good news.

  When Marconi had told me about wanting to read and possibly work with me, I hadn’t imagined being able to share that with Nick. The gratitude that I could, flooded me as I grabbed his hands. “I might have a project on the horizon, Marconi wants to read my work.”

  “We’re celebrating,” Scully added.

  “Claire, that’s amazing.” He yanked me close to his body. “He’s tough to impress.”

  “Yeah, well let’s not get too excited. Nothing has happened yet.” I was trying to be cautious and not get too ahead of myself. It was hard though, feeling so happy there wasn’t a lot that could sour my mood. Even if he hated it, told me that what I’d written wasn’t for him—I’d still be happy. Because despite what Marconi or anyone else thought, I knew I was a good writer. There wasn’t anything in the world I’d rather be doing, and even if it was going to take a while before I got my success, I was willing to wait.

  Besides, how could I go wrong when I had my muse as my boyfriend? The opportunity for inspiration would be endless, and I wasn’t above capitalizing on what I had.

  “Looks like we’ve got a lot to celebrate tonight.” Nick smiled. “The new series, Marconi reading Claire’s work and Scully’s new job.” He glanced at her waiting for her reaction.

  “What new job?” She frowned, bouncing Sebastian in her arms. “I know I should be looking but I am struggling with just getting a shower in the morning, let alone job hunting. I figured so much is on summer break right now anyway, what was the point.”

  “Well there’s a job with us if you want it.” Nick glanced at me, waiting for me to nod before continuing. “You still have to interview, but they know who you are and the work you’ve done.”

  “With The Blue Line?” Her eyes widened, misting at the edges. “You got me a job?”

  He shook his head. “I only mentioned your name, Scully. The rest will be all you. But it’s a great crew, regular work and I know you’d be an awesome addition to the team.”

  Luke leaned in, adding to the argument. “And I’ll be there, we all know that is going to be a huge selling point. We haven’t worked together since . . .” He took a minute trying to work out when was the last time they worked together.

  “Since Crash,” I answered, reminding them that the last time they had worked together, I had been there with them. And ironically, so had Nick, his minor role of the sexy bartender starting this train of craziness.

  “Wow!” Scully’s eyes got huge. “How freaky is that? All those years ago, barely even knowing each other and now we’re all together.”

  Nick put his arms around me and kissed my forehead gently. “Nah, it was meant to be. Some of us needed to get our shit together first. Fate just made sure we came back to what was meant for us.”

  My.

  Heart.

  Anymore and it was liable to burst, and I didn’t care, willing to have it explode in my chest as I loved this amazing man.

  “Stop it Nick,” Scully warned. “I’m still hormonal and if you make me cry, I will beat you.”

  “Don’t stop.” I grabbed his shirt, holding it tight in my fingers as I looked into his beautiful brown eyes. “Don’t ever stop.”

  There was no way of knowing what would have happened if Crash hadn’t been canceled. If, five years ago, I’d have worked up the nerve to ask him out or if he would have. Maybe we’d have dated, ultimately growing apart because we had so much more to do with our lives. He had to become a super star, and I had to do some developing of my own. What I did know, was that show getting canceled had seemed like the worst thing in the world.

  And now I knew better.

  It had been the best.

  “TELL ME, NICK,” ROMAN LEANED across, his grin bursting at the seams, “does it bother you your fiancée has won an Academy Award before you?”

  It had been less than twenty-four hours since I’d walked off that stage, a gold statue in my hands, and I felt like my feet hadn’t touched the ground. It was beyond my wildest dreams, the award coming as a sh
ock when I’d heard my name called, with Nick by my side clapping the loudest.

  Nick shook his head, smiling at his brother. “You do realize I’ve won two Emmys, a Golden Globe and a Screen Actors Guild award.”

  Roman chuckled, looking less than impressed. “Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.”

  “Don’t listen to him, he’s an idiot.” Lauren—Roman’s beautiful and extremely talented wife—sat down and rubbed her swollen belly. “And congratulations, Claire. We’re so happy for you.”

  “I never said I wasn’t happy.” Roman wrapped his arms around his wife. “I’m fucking ecstatic.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Like you’re ecstatic about Alex’s new job offer?” Her lips twitched into a grin. “Straight out of college and he gets headhunted by Young, McMillian and Walker. Quite an accomplishment. Tell us, Roman, where did you start again?”

  “Please, I coached him the whole way through,” he scoffed, the smugness in his smile dropping. “If I’d had me as a guiding force through law school, I’d have had more than just one fancy offer.”

  Alex—the youngest Larsson, and the man in question—walked over, dropping a kiss on his sister-in-law’s cheek. “Roman talking shit again? You sure you want to expand that DNA?”

  He’d graduated magna cum laude from Berkeley Law School, and as Lauren had gleefully pointed out, received an incredibly prestigious offer from one of the biggest law firms in L.A. But rather than take the offer the minute he was able, he instead took a few months off and traveled. And that fancy firm had been only too happy to wait. It figured that all the Larsson men were fiercely competitive, even the two who weren’t in show business.

  Alex turned to me, the famous smile that all his brothers seemed to have widening on his face. “Hey Claire, congrats on the award. Maybe one day Nick will win one too.”

  “You’re not going to bait me, Alex.” Nick’s smile not faltering as he put his arm around me. “I don’t care, and I’m incredibly happy for Claire.”

  That was not a lie, he had absolute zero animosity that I had won the coveted accolade before he had, something none of us expected.