by Anne Malcom
“Oh my god Ames,” I groaned looking up at her. “I’ve been drunk. Like a lot. I don’t know how pregnant I am, holy crap what if I have like totally fucked up my child just because I can’t pass up a good cocktail? Fuck! I am a terrible mother and I haven’t even given birth yet.” I whined, sounding near hysterical.
Amy bent down and gave me a firm slap on the cheek. “Slap out of it.” She ordered.
I held my cheek in shock. “You just hit a pregnant woman.” I gasped, even though it didn’t actually hurt that much, it was the principle of the matter.
“No I slapped some sense into my best friend to stop her freaking the fuck out. You are not a terrible mother, especially when you just found out you were pregnant twenty minutes ago and have not chugged down a tequila shot in that time.” She explained, kneeling beside me.
“No I haven’t but I could seriously use one.” I groaned thinking about the fact I would have to say goodbye to tequila for months, nine of them. I stared at Amy seriously.
“What if I have actually hurt my baby?” I asked voice small, feeling fear for the little being growing inside of me. And feeling already attached to it.
Amy looked at me softly. “I’ll call the clinic now, get you in. But I seriously doubt a little bit of booze will harm Cade’s child, his super sperm bet birth control, it can probably handle anything.” She joked, pushing up and giving me her hand to pull me off the floor. “And my friend Tina Blackstone, didn’t know she was pregnant until like four months, and those four months just happened to be when we were on a bender in the South of France. Seriously she partied hard. Kids fine, even a little too smart if you ask me, little fucker is better at math than me.” She told me, smirking.
I smiled weakly back at her, unable to muster much more with all the thoughts swirling in my head. What if Cade thought I did this on purpose? What if he doesn’t want our child? My heart plummeted and I placed my hands protectively over my still flat belly. No, I argued with myself, Cade would want it. He declared he wanted me pregnant on the side of the road, not one month ago. Granted he was reeling from my kidnapping and probably meant a little further on than this.
I started pacing, scattering the pregnancy tests across the floor, all the while trying to prevent a mental breakdown. Okay I was pregnant, it’s not like this didn’t happen all the time. I should be happy that this wasn’t the result of a night of too many tequila shots and too little inhibition. This baby was conceived out of love. I just hoped Cade was ready to be a father. Cause I didn’t know how ready I was to be a mother, I had passed out sunbathing a week ago and the burns were only just starting to fade. How could I keep a tiny human alive when I couldn’t even properly apply sunscreen?
I was still pacing when Amy walked back in, my gaze darted up to her.
“You get me in?” I demanded, maybe a little sharply. But I was worried about the health of my child.
“Got us an appointment in an hour.” She looked pleased with herself.
“Okay great thank you thank you!!” I didn’t stop pacing.
Amy leaned on the doorjam, looking more calm and collected than I could ever be.
“How can you be so calm?” I all but shrieked. “I am knocked up and it is so not planned. I haven’t even been with the father a year. I don’t even know if Barney’s carries a proper maternity line! I’m going to get fat, and my feet will swell. Holy fuck, I won’t be able to wear heels and if I do I’ll look like Kim Kardashian.” I panicked and glared at Amy who doesn’t look at all concerned about the very real possibly I could be facing elephant feet. And flats.
She strode over and gripped my arms, eyes twinkling. “Chill Gwennie. This is freaking awesome news.”
My eyes bugged out at her statement, and I opened my mouth to repeat everything I had just said, maybe a decibel louder so she could get it.
“I grant you maybe not the best timing.” She said quickly before I could get started. “But you have a man that friggin adores you, and will be over the fucking moon about you having his bun in your oven. Not to mention, I will make sure we get you the most kick ass maternity wardrobe. I’ll research options today.” She said thoughtfully, and seriously.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself, but failing. “Okay, just tell me something to take my mind of my freakout.” I ordered, needing to be distracted.
She thought for a minute, then her face got serious. “Well, I’ve finally made up my mind about what’s happening with Ian and Brock.”
“WHAT?” I all but screeched, my mind well and truly off the bun in my oven.
Amy flinched at my yell but I ignored it. “When did you decide this? Oh my god did you choose Ian? Are we finally going to be sisters?” I asked, all but jumping up and down. She opened her mouth but I interrupted. “But then again, I really do like Brock. He is super dreamy and bad ass. And he’s one of Cade’s best friends, so I’ll finally have someone who can relate to all the bad ass biker shit.” Oh crap, I actually found myself conflicted about her decision, even with my brother and potential nieces and nephews on the line.
“Well?” I demanded impatiently.
I didn’t get to hear her answer because the front door opened and Bull strode in. No one knocked anymore. He did a chin lift to Amy then focused on me.
“Gwen girl, Cade wanted me to tell you he got held up. Also he wanted to make sure you were okay. What are you doing out of bed?” He clipped, glaring at Amy and I standing in the middle of the living room. His gaze moved down to his motorcycle boot, which was inches away from one of my pregnancy tests. I watched in horror as he picked it up, looked at the result and grinned.
I stomped over to him and snatched the test out of his hands. This was the first time I had seen Bull smile like ever. I hadn’t needed all my lame jokes after all. An illegitimate pregnancy made the fucker happy.
“Eww Bull don’t touch that, it has my pee on it! How embarrassing.” I muttered, hiding the pee stick behind my back and glaring up at the dangerously handsome biker who was now wearing a shit eating grin.
“You pregnant babe?” He asked softly, happiness saturating his tone.
“Um looks to be the case big man.” I uttered quietly, nervous for his reaction. Even though it seemed he was pretty fucking pleased. This was confirmed when he pulled me into a big bear hug and squeezed me tight against his hard body. I was shocked for a second, Bull had never physically embraced anyone since I had met him, he even shied away from it. I cautiously put my arms around him, not reaching very far because he was big.
Bull gently released me and kissed my hair. “Fucking great news Gwen.” He whispered, eyes shining with emotion I didn’t know he was capable of.
I smiled shyly back. “You think so? This wasn’t exactly planned, Cade might not…”
“Cade will be fucking thrilled.” Bull cut me off sounding firm.
“Okay,” I said quietly, feeling better with how sure he sounded. He was his best friend, he was sure to know right?
“I hate to interrupt.” Amy cut in from behind me. “But Gwen how about you go and get changed and we will hit the pharmacy before we go to the docs, get you loaded up on all that pre natal shit.”
I turned to her. “Yeah that’s probably a good idea Abrams, this kid’s going to need all the vitamins it can get.” I replied stroking my stomach, still worried about the possible affect my love of alcohol could have had on my child’s development.
“You going to the doctors? What for?” Bull interrupted, sounding concerned.
Amy waved her hand. “Oh its nothing, we just need to make sure my little alcoholic over here hasn’t made her unborn child partial to cosmos inside the womb.” She said casually and I glared at her.
“It was a joke.” She rolled her eyes, “Like I said, Cade’s kid probably has a badass super sperm force field around it or something.”
I popped my eyes out at her. “I am not even going to deign that comment with a response.” She was cookcoo.
“I’m comi
ng.” Bull declared.
“Seriously honey you don’t have to, its just a precaution.” I told him, thinking of Bull being present while a doctor puts that ultra sound thingy up my lady parts.
“I’m coming.” He repeated firmly, “Cade can’t be contacted for the rest of the day, and I ain’t asking.”
“Okay but you are staying in the waiting room.”
So that’s how I arrived at the doctors office trailed by my insane best friend and a member of my boyfriends motorcycle club. Amy checked me in while Bull directed me to the little seated area which consisted of out of date magazines, uncomfortable chairs and pamphlets on everything from STDS to ASTHMA. I snatched up every single one the contained the word Pregnancy or had a baby on the cover and sat down next to a ten year old boy and his mother. Bull decided to stay standing, then maintained the universal bad ass stance by crossing his arms and spreading his feet slightly. He looked like he should have one of those ear pieces in and be guarding the president. The boy beside glanced at Bull, then at his cut and gazed up at him in awe. His mother, smiled warmly at him. Bull directed a scowl their way before his face turned away. I see his tenderness has been short lived. I decided not to pay much attention to this as I had pamphlets to read, I got started on the one on top of my pile. I had only just read the first sentence when it was snatched out of my hand.
“Hey!” I snapped at Amy as she sat down beside me, throwing my pamphlets in the trash can beside her.
“You don’t need to read them Gwen, it just tells you the hundred thousand things that have like a point one percent chance of happening. It will only freak you out more, then convince you your child will be a hermaphrodite.” She declared, picking up an outdated copy of People.
I snatched the magazine out of her hands. “Yeah well maybe I need to know about that stuff. I had two glasses of wine at dinner last night. Two. Not to mention the three beers I had on Monday or the Mimosa I had on Sunday. Oh my god, my child is going to be a hermaphrodite.” I panicked putting my head in my hands. “I’m a terrible person.”
“Now now Gwennie.” Amy cooed rubbing my back. “I’m sure the baby will be fine. You are not a terrible person. There are mothers who shoot crack in their arms nine months pregnant, they are terrible people.”
I took a breath, feeling slightly better. She was right.
“And if your baby is a hermaphrodite, at least you get to choose whether it’s a girl or a boy, I’d go for girl personally. Then you can put it in little dresses and stuff.” She added thoughtfully earning another moan from me.
“Well there it is.” The doctor declared, pointing at the freakily real image on the ultrasound machine. The image of my baby, our baby. And it was cute, you could see its little head and everything, the technology was the shit. I was so worried I was going to be like Rachel off Friends and not be able to see my child on the screen. But I saw it. A tear rolled down my cheek, emotion I couldn’t even fathom welled up inside me, love for this little being threating to explode my already full up heart.
“Is it...okay?” I asked, my voice choked up, “Like healthy?”
The doctor smiled at me. “Yes your baby is perfect Ms Alexandra, looking to be at just over two months along.”
“Two months?” I whispered disbelievingly. That meant I had been pregnant when I was kidnapped. Oh my god I could have lost my baby. The beautiful little baby on the screen in front of me could have been lost. Anger and protectiveness I didn’t know I had welled up in me. Then I realized two and a bit months’ is a long time to be pregnant without knowing. I was such an idiot.
“Um shouldn’t I have been getting other signs of being this far along?”
“Yeah shouldn’t she at least have gotten some kind of baby bump? And bigger boobs?” Amy piped in from beside me, eyes looking suspiciously red.
The doctor laughed a little. “Some women don’t show at all until three or four months. You could even wake up one day with a slight bump, due to the baby moving. And every woman’s body changes different when she is pregnant.” She added, eyes twinkling.
My doctor was nice, and pretty. Okay more like a bombshell. She looked a hell of a lot like Marilyn Munro, white blonde, curly shoulder length hair. She had flawless pale skin, and curves I would kill for. What’s more, she had a great beside manner and made me feel super comfortable, despite she had a prime view of my hoo ha. She was definitely going to be my baby doctor. Or midwife. Oh my god I didn’t even know what to call a baby doctor.
“Wow Gwen, you lucky bitch, you might not even get fat at all. Maybe your Kim Kardashian worries are over.” Amy said, eyes on my flat stomach.
I ignored this. “So you are sure there is nothing wrong, no signs of trouble?” I asked again, “I didn’t know I was pregnant, especially this far along until today. I haven’t exactly been consuming the most healthy foods for a baby.”
Amy snorted from beside me and I glared at her.
“Yes your baby is fine, and looks to be strong as well.”
Amy groaned. “Man the curiosity kills I wish we could tell if it was a girl or a boy.”
I turned my head to her. “I’m sure you will find other things to occupy your time, rather than ponder if I’m carrying a boy or a girl.”
“Well that makes buying baby clothes and decorating that much harder. How am I going to get unisex baby clothes I despise yellow.” She whined.
“I’m sure you’ll find a way to survive.” I informed her dryly. “I wish Cade was here for this.”
“I can give you a picture to show him if you want?” Sarah said, pressing some buttons on the monitor.
“That would be awesome.” I replied my eyes fixed on the screen.
My little moment with my unborn child was interrupted.
“Hi is this the Barney’s children’s department? This is Amy Abrams, I need to have the latest baby collections sent to me. Unisex please. But no yellow.”
I left the examination room clutching the little roll of pictures tightly, Amy chattering excitedly beside me.
“See I told you! That baby is strong as an ox! Nothing’s going to get that little Super baby down. And did you hear the doc, two months? You had that bun in your oven when you were kidnapped, and it still stayed strong. You are going to have your hands full with this kid.” Her eyes were glued to her phone, online shopping no doubt.
She was not wrong. I felt like I was floating on cloud nine, my baby was healthy. Our baby would be perfect. We approached Bull and he stepped forward, looking slightly anxious. I beamed at him and thrust the pictures in his face.
“Look! This is our baby, you can actually see it. Like eyes nose everything. Isn’t it cute?” I waved the pictures in his face, which obviously wasn’t working for him because he grabbed my wrist to carefully take them out of my hand and study them closely. The depth of emotion on this tough, usually staunch man was staggering. I watched as his eyes turned tortured, I could see he was thinking of a moment, if the past had been different. A moment where it would be his baby he was looking at, had Laurie not been murdered. Tears welled up in my eyes and I reached for Bull’s arm, but was interrupted by a loud and familiar voice.
“Bull! Gwen! Yo!” Lucky strode towards us with his usual grin. Oh shit, I don’t need another one of Cade’s brothers finding out about our little bundle of joy before he did. What is he doing at the doctor’s anyway? Isn’t he some badass that refuses to acknowledge he isn’t indestructible? Maybe all those dalliances with various women were catching up with him. I tried to snatch the photo out of Bull’s hand but was too late.
“What are you guys all doing here? I heard Gwen was sick, shit is it serious?” Lucky approached and his grin turned to concern, he then glanced at what Bull had in his hand. He snatched it.
“What do we have here that you are looking at so intently, I hope its not any naked photos…” he stopped short when he got a look at the little piece of paper. I watched as his mouth opened in shock. “Seriously you guys are into some sick s
hit...” he began, then a grin spread across his face. “Holy shit, Princess you’re pregnant?” He all but yelled.
I winced as people started to look our way. “Try not to announce it to the whole town Lucky, Cade doesn’t even know yet.” I scolded quietly.
Lucky ignored me and pulled me into his arms. “This is fucking great! You guys having a kid, I mean fuck! This calls for celebration, we’re having a party. Tonight!” He decided, putting me down.
“Um no party tonight.” I argued, ignoring the slight falter in Lucky’s smile.
“I want to tell Cade first. Alone.”
Lucky smirked. “Fair enough Princess. I can imagine his reaction might not be suitable for a whole party full of people.”
I poked my tongue out him, forgetting for a moment that I was a mother now and shouldn’t be doing such immature things. He slung an arm around my shoulder and patted my belly softly.
“Real mature Princess, think you might have to find better comebacks, since you’re going to be a Mom and all.” He laughed as our crew walked out the door.
“I’m going to be a Mum.” I corrected him, “My child is growing up half kiwi you know.”
“Yeah he’s also growing up half Templar.” He winked. I just rolled my eyes and ignored the ‘he’ in that sentence. Why are men also convinced women were having boys?
The aroma of garlic and chicken wafting around my nostrils made my stomach roll slightly, but I ignored it. I was too excited about the fact that Cade would be home any minute and I would get to tell him about the baby. I was still nervous, like really nervous about his reaction, but the boys had quelled my nerves slightly. I had decided to make him a delicious dinner at his house, partly because we hadn’t been here in awhile and partly because I wanted us completely alone to (hopefully) celebrate. I had stuck the ultrasound photo on the fridge, hoping he would notice it when he went to get his beer. Which was pretty much the first thing he did when he got home, well after making out with me that was.