Big-Top Bonanza

by N. B. Grace

  Sitting on the top of the waterslide, Candace was fastening a few last bolts to the dinosaur’s head.

  “I don’t want to brag, but fun loves me more than it loves you right now!” Candace called to her brothers. She was annoyed that they hadn’t tried to take over the project as she had planned.

  Candace’s cell phone was sitting next to her on the waterslide. But she didn’t hear it ring over the noise of the machinery.

  On Dr. Doofenschmirtz’s floating platform, Perry felt as if he’d been running for hours in slow motion. Finally, he had almost reached his goal.

  The Ugly-inator was on a table next to the recliner, where Dr. Doofenshmirtz was sitting. Perry stretched out his arm to grab the machine.

  Just as Perry was about to pick up the Ugly-inator, Dr. Doofenshmirtz grabbed it.

  “Ooh!” the scientist said with a laugh. He jumped up and began running around the platform, holding the machine. “Yoo-hoo, Perry the Platypus! Come and get it! Oh, I forgot. You’re too slow to catch me now!”

  What Dr. Doofenshmirtz didn’t realize was that Perry had just laid a very clever trap—and the scientist had walked right into it!

  As soon as Dr. Doofenshmirtz stepped away from the Slow-Motion-inator, Perry grabbed it. He grabbed it very slowly, but he still managed to get it before the scientist.

  “Duh! Of course,” Dr. Doofenshmirtz cried. “You were going for the Slow-Motion-inator.”

  Perry pointed the machine at himself.

  “Wait! Wait, no!” yelled Dr. Doofenshmirtz. “Don’t touch the reverse switch!”

  At that moment, that’s exactly what Perry did. The ray from the machine reversed the slow-motion effect.

  Perry was back up to speed! He began chasing Dr. Doofenshmirtz around the platform.

  The scientist tried to aim the Ugly-inator at Perry as he ran. He missed several times. Finally, the Ugly-inator ray hit Perry in the head!

  Suddenly, Perry no longer looked like his usual platypus self. His teeth were crooked, his eyes were different sizes, and his arms were weirdly shaped.

  That’s when Dr. Doofenshmirtz made a big mistake. He stopped to point and laugh.

  “You should see yourself. You’re so ugly!” he called.

  Perry leaped into the air and kicked the Ugly-inator from the scientist’s hand.

  Then Perry picked up the machine and aimed it at the TV. It turned from a sleek flat panel to an old-fashioned TV with an antenna. Next, he aimed at the recliner. It turned into a plastic garden chair.

  Shocked, Dr. Doofenshmirtz staggered back, accidentally hitting a switch with his elbow.

  Instantly, an anchor dropped from the platform. It was headed right for the backyard where Phineas and Ferb were relaxing!

  Chapter 4

  In the Flynn-Fletchers’ backyard, Candace continued to work, and her brothers continued to relax. Just then, Stacy walked into the yard.

  “Candace, where are you?” Stacy yelled. “It’s time to go!”

  She looked up and saw Candace on top of the waterslide, still hammering. Stacy gasped. She had never seen her friend doing major construction work before.

  “Candace?” Stacy said, shocked.

  “Who’s having fun now?!” Candace yelled at her brothers. She hadn’t heard Stacy. “It’s like boredom is a bad rash, and I’m a shot of cortisone.”

  Stacy climbed the slide’s ladder, hoping to calm her friend down.

  “Candace, what are you doing?” Stacy asked. “I’ve been trying to call you all afternoon!”

  “What does it look like?” Candace snapped. “I’m busting my brothers!” She pointed to Phineas and Ferb, who were still lying peacefully on their backs.

  “But the concert’s starting right now!” Stacy pointed to the fairgrounds in the distance.

  Candace’s mouth dropped open. “Jeremy!” she said. “Oh, my gosh, I spent so much time busting my brothers, I forgot about the concert.”

  Just then, the anchor from the platform dropped into the backyard. It hooked onto the dinosaur’s nostril. As the balloon carrying the platform drifted away, the Amazing Man-Eating-Dinosaur–Themed Totally Sick Waterslide of Doom was pulled off the ground.

  Startled, the girls realized that the waterslide they were sitting on was floating in the air.

  “Candace, what’s happening?” Stacy asked.

  “It didn’t say anything in the instructions about being lifted up in the air!” Candace said, confused.

  “Aaahh!” Both girls screamed.

  At the summer festival, Jeremy and his band were onstage. They were performing one of their songs.

  Jeremy sang lead vocals into a microphone as the audience watched.

  Far above them, the balloon pulling the platform and the waterslide flew past. Perry and Dr. Doofenshmirtz were still fighting over the Ugly-inator. Then, they accidentally pressed its lever. An Ugly-inator ray hit the band onstage.

  Suddenly, Jeremy had long, shaggy hair and was wearing a horned helmet on his head. His bandmates were wearing ripped clothes in dark colors, and their music was loud heavy metal.

  The crowd cheered. Then an Ugly-inator ray hit them, too. Instantly, they were transformed into people with spiky mohawks, multiple earrings, and black clothes.

  A moment later, the anchor rope broke. The dinosaur waterslide plunged toward the stage!

  “Aahhh!” Candace and Stacy screamed again.

  Crash! The waterslide smashed onto the stage.

  Jeremy and his band kept playing.

  “Who are these guys?” Candace asked Stacy. She didn’t recognize Jeremy or his bandmates.

  Stacy shrugged. “They must be the opening act.”

  High above them, Perry finally wrestled the Ugly-inator from Dr. Doofenshmirtz. He took aim, and the ray hit the scientist in the face!

  “Oh, no!” Dr. Doofenshmirtz cried. He grabbed his head with his hands. “Now I’m ugly!”

  He lowered his hands and looked at them carefully. He realized that even after being shot with the Ugly-inator he still looked exactly the same.

  “Oh. Oh, I get it,” he said bitterly. “Hardy-har-har.”

  Perry opened the plastic dome on the top of the Ugly-inator and freed the frog. Then he put a photo inside the dome.

  “My autographed picture of Vance Ward?” Dr. Doofenshmirtz cried. “Ooh! You’ve perverted my ugly invention with something beautiful!”

  Perry aimed the machine at Vance. Zap! The actor turned back into his former handsome self.

  “Thanks!” Vance said. “Whoever you are . . .” Then he realized where he was. “Now get me out of here!” he shouted.

  Instead, Perry pointed the machine at Jeremy and his heavy metal band. Zap! They turned back into Jeremy and the Incidentals, crooning the sweet song they had started with.

  Then Perry zapped the audience. Everyone in the crowd changed back into their regular selves.

  Finally, Perry zapped himself. Once again, he was secret-agent Perry.

  Dr. Doofenshmirtz scowled. “What about my TV and chair?” he demanded.

  “Get me off this thing!” Vance suddenly yelled. He took a running leap off the edge of the platform and plummeted through the air.

  Perry rolled his eyes. Some people don’t understand the difference between real life and a movie, he thought. He jumped after the actor and managed to grab on to him. He shot them both with the Slow-Motion-inator. They fell slowly and gently to Earth.

  As they fell, Perry pointed the machine that was previously the Ugly-inator at Dr. Doofenshmirtz’s balloon. It turned into a huge, heart-shaped balloon that read: I LOVE GOODNESS.

  “My balloon!” Dr. Doofenshmirtz cried in despair. How could he, an evil madman, be seen with a balloon that was so sweet? “Curse you, Perry the Platypus!” he shouted.

  Perry had saved the world from the evil scientist once again, and made everything a little prettier, too.

  At the end of the day, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher closed up her tea-cozy booth and returned home
. When she walked into the backyard, Phineas and Ferb were lying on the grass.

  “Hey, boys, I’m home. Oh, I see you’re still enjoying your do-nothing day,” said Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher.

  “Yeah, Mom,” Phineas said. “It was the best lazy day ever.” He saw his pet platypus trot across the yard, followed by Vance. “Oh, there you are, Perry!” Phineas called.

  Vance was still stuck in slow motion. “Where am I?” he asked. He was speaking very slowly, too.

  “And with handsome movie actor Vance Ward,” Ferb said, puzzled. “He seems much faster on TV.”

  Phineas and Ferb laid back down on the grass. It had been the best do-nothing day ever.

  Back at the festival, Jeremy and the Incidentals were still performing onstage. The crowd had applauded so much, Jeremy and his band were playing an encore.

  Candace was still onstage, too. After the waterslide had crashed, she and Stacy had watched Jeremy and his band perform. Now Jeremy turned and smiled at Candace. She smiled back, then she joined in, singing along.

  Candace and Jeremy sang the last few lines of the song together.

  “This is the best day ever!” Candace cried happily. She and Jeremy were together at last—even if only for one song.

  Don’t miss the fun in the next

  Phineas and Ferb book . . .

  Adapted by Molly McGuire

  Based on the series created by Dan Povenmire & Jeff “Swampy” Marsh

  Phineas and Ferb are building a skating rink in their backyard for their grandma Betty Jo, who used to be a roller-derby queen. Then they find out that their friend Jeremy Johnson’s grandma used to be Grandma Betty Jo’s skating rival! Phineas and Ferb decide to hold a contest to see which granny can roll to the finish line the fastest! The thrills continue when the boys help their grandpa Reg achieve his lifelong dream of doing a stunt jump over McGregor’s Gorge!