Zero F*cks: a standalone novel

by LK Collins

  Jumping in, I begin to swim and forget all about my leg. Suddenly it begins to sting, the sea salt burning it, but I push through the pain, needing to get to him. As I approach his board, he’s lost in a trance. He doesn’t even notice me next to him, until I climb on top. “Hey.” We are sitting face to face.

  “What are you doing here?” he asks me, alarmed.

  “Why are you ignoring me?”

  “I’m not, Cam.” He looks down, his hands splayed out in front of him.

  “Yeah, you are,” I tell him and try to look into his eyes. He won’t even look at me. I can feel him pushing me away, the same way he did all those years ago, and for no good reason. “Don’t do this to me again, Nixon.”

  “I’m not doing anything. I didn’t ask you to come here; you should really go.”

  “So that’s how you’re going to treat me? After we spent the most amazing couple of days together, now I should just leave?”

  He looks to the left, swallowing. I catch sight of his Adam’s apple moving in his throat and I’ll be damned if I let him do this to us again. “Goddammit, Nixon, fuckin’ look at me!” I scream at him and his eyes meet mine. “I lost you once and it about killed me. I will not lose you again, no matter what. So whatever it is that’s going on in your head, you better figure it the fuck out.”

  “I’ve told you, I can’t give you what you need,” he says and looks down again. “I wish I could…but I just don’t think I can.”

  “Yes, you can. You know why? ‘Cause all I need is you. Remember what I said, ‘one day at a time.’” He looks at me, my words doing something to him.

  “Maybe that’s how you feel, but what about when I fuck up again?”

  “What are you talking about?” I ask him.

  “How are you going to feel the next time I fuck up?”

  “You’re not even making sense, Nixon. Are you going back to the Navy?”

  He shakes his head, and I scoot a little closer to him and touch his face. “Then we’ve got nothing to worry about.”

  “Since the day I left for the Navy, I hated myself for what I did to you, and seeing you back with my family yesterday, it’s where you belonged all along, and I fucked that all up. I took Conner from you as well. I left you with nothing—no one—I fucking hate myself for it.” Tears gloss over his eyes.

  “Don’t do this. Don’t live in the past. Everything happens for a reason, Nixon, you have to believe that. From this moment forward, make things right for us. I trust that you’ll never hurt me again and you have to, too.” He kisses my palm that is touching his face. Then takes my hand in his, scooting closer to me as well. He’s breathing harshly, looking me in the eye.

  “But I don’t, you know why?” I shake my head. “‘Cause I knew leaving you was wrong and I still did it.”

  Our conversation is brought to a halt by his words and we sit staring into each other’s eyes, the waves rocking beneath us. If he knew it was wrong, then why do it? Why lie about everything and say that it was for my own good? At a loss, I do the only thing I can: force him to choose.

  Untying my swimming suit at my neck, I let my tits pop out and he looks around at the beach behind us. Then covers them back up and says, “What are you doing, crazy?” He doesn’t like it, and then I untie each side of my swimming suit bottoms. No one is around and we are so far out that if anyone is on the beach, they couldn’t make out what we are doing. My bottoms fall open and he looks down at my pussy, like he’s in pain. “Why are you doing this?”

  “Because, if you really feel like you’re going to hurt me again, then I want you to look at me and swim away. Let’s end this now…or, you can stay with me and we’ll at least try. No one’s perfect, I’m not expecting you to be, but please don’t give up so easily.” Immediately he rubs my clit, and I take that as he doesn’t want to let me go, that he wants to try.

  “You know we can’t fuck out here.”

  “Why not?” I ask him and take his cock out, looking down at it. He is stiff and makes my pussy clench. I swallow, wanting him inside me and he pulls me closer. “Wrap your legs behind me,” he says, getting carried away in the moment. I lift them out of the water. He leans back, balancing out the weight on his end of the board and I do the same, watching as he slides himself inside me, skin to skin, nothing separating us. “Fuck me, Cam,” he requests and slowly I start to move. The calm ocean rolling beneath us, mixing with my movements, has me nervous that we’ll flip over, but if we do, we’ll keep fucking wherever we fall.

  My eyes are on the point where our bodies connect, his pulsating dick so hard as I move up and down on it. He feels incredible inside me. This is the first time I’ve ever been with anyone unprotected and I couldn’t want it more.

  I moan, my body igniting in pleasure and as my eyes check the beach, he says to me, “Look at me, don’t worry about anything else.”

  I nod, looking deep into his blue eyes, his thumb rubbing me right where I need it. Matched with the head of his cock inside me as I slide up and down, it’s too much to handle. I fight it, but lose. Coming hard, I gladly give over to the desire right as Nixon does. A blast of his cum fills me, and although we didn’t fully settle our conversation, him doing this was his way of accepting to give things a shot. And knowing we’re going to makes me feel like everything will be okay. I mean it has to be—I can’t live without him again.

  Chapter 16

  Nixon

  As I walk along the beach with Cameron, everything feels right. After I dropped her off at home last night and drank myself into oblivion, it was clear to me that I was falling for her. All the memories I’d worked years at suppressing, she’s slowly bringing back to reality. And the fact that she’s willing to accept me and take things one day at a time gives me hope. I have a good feeling we could make it this time.

  “You’re quiet,” she says and I feel like I’m in a bit of a funk.

  “I don’t mean to be.”

  “Then don’t. You can open up to me, Nixon.”

  I nod and pick up a perfect seashell handing it to her. “Thank you,” she tells me, smiling. Something so simple that I missed more than I ever realized. “You know…Mack was pissed you weren’t there today.” She tries to change the subject and I go along with her.

  “I’m sure he was. How were Guy and Luke?”

  “Guy was pissed, Luke was…well, how Luke always is.”

  “What do you mean?” I ask her, wrapping my fingers around hers. She exhales, holding my hand back. The small gesture satisfying her.

  “He’s easygoing, you know that. But they both really wanted to go out today. There are some boaters missing off the coast of Miami and they wanted to search for them.

  “Why couldn’t you?”

  “Mack wouldn’t let us go up without you.”

  “Damn, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

  “It’s okay. You know as well as I do that they didn’t survive. They were out at sea during a hurricane.”

  I nod knowing she is right. Mother Nature isn’t gentle, and she sure as hell doesn’t take pity upon anyone.

  “So, are you coming to work tomorrow?”

  “Yeah,” I tell her and wonder if she wants to tell Guy and Luke about us. “What do you think we should say to the guys?”

  “About what?” she asks, picking up another seashell.

  “Us.”

  “Nothing yet. We’re taking things one day at a time, remember?”

  “I do and nothing will change that…but don’t you think we should be honest?” I ask her, wanting to be sure, especially because of her past with Luke.

  “We’ll tell them…when the time’s right.”

  “Luke better keep his fucking dick in his pants,” I tell her and she says to me, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I won’t let anything happen, but you’re going to have to keep yourself in control.”

  Sticking my hands up in front of me, I tell her, “Shouldn’t be a prob
lem as long as I get to fuck you at the end of the day.” She smirks, but doesn’t answer me. She’s playing hardball and I like it. “That is unless you have other plans?”

  “You know,” she says, “I’m really busy in the evenings, so you might have to fuck me in the mornings.”

  “How about both?” I ask her, stopping her on the beach and pulling her close to me.

  “That works too.”

  She smiles so beautifully, and I ask her, “Did you eat yet today?”

  “No, you?”

  “Nope, wanna grab a bite to eat?”

  “You mean other than each other?” she smirks.

  “Sure,” I tell her as we walk up to my condo. “Do you still like lobster?” she asks me.

  “Do you really have to ask? You know it’s my favorite.”

  “There’s a new place not far from here that has the best lobster rolls. You wanna go?”

  “Yeah, I’m game.”

  “Okay,” she responds and changes out of her swimming suit and back into her clothes. My eyes are all over her body as I get a glimpse of her tits and ass. Jesus, she’s perfect.

  “You gonna stare all day or change yourself?”

  “I’m wearing this.” She rolls her eyes at me as I toss on a tank top. I’m most comfortable in my board shorts. I lived for far too long behind a uniform. “This place isn’t formal or anything, is it?”

  “Not at all.”

  “You’re beautiful, you know that, right?”

  She beams, like it’s the first time I’ve told her. She shyly pulls her hair up, keeping her back to me. “Ready?” she asks.

  I take her hand in mine and we leave. She drives up to the place and still hasn’t responded to my comment. I’m really not even sure what I wanted her to say, but I do want her to know how beautiful she is. When she walks into a room, everyone looks at her, she takes it over, she’s so fuckin’ gorgeous.

  “You good, everything with us?” I ask.

  “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” she questions me back.

  “I’m just making sure, ‘cause I was a dick earlier.”

  Briefly, she glances over at me and then says, “I understand what you’re going through.”

  Parking in front of the two-story restaurant with what appears to be a rooftop bar on it, I ask her, “You gonna let me buy your sexy ass dinner before I take you home and fuck the shit out of you?”

  She smirks at my comment, but we both know I’m dead serious.

  Walking inside, a waitress says, breezing on by, “Feel free to sit anywhere.” I follow Cameron up to the roof. “Pretty sweet view,” I tell her.

  “What can I get ya’ll to drink?” a cute surfer chick asks.

  I look at Cameron and she says, “I’ll take a water.” I look at the beers on tap and order a lager. The girl walks off and I ask Cam, “A water…really?”

  “I have to drive.”

  “Oh please, one beer with dinner isn’t gonna kill ya.”

  “I know it won’t, but one will lead to six, and we have work tomorrow.

  I stop giving her a hard time and ask, “Do you know what you’re going to get?”

  “The lobster roll, you?”

  “The same, that’s why you brought me here, isn’t it?”

  “Indeed it is. You wanna split one and then get some lobster cheese dip too?”

  “Sure, you mind ordering for us. I gotta take a piss.”

  She smiles at me and I kiss her before walking off. Wishing she’d follow me. Her lips drive me wild, my cock awakening anytime I feel them, and I battle with it as I leave her.

  Finishing up in the bathroom, I get a text from Cameron, Don’t come back to the table. Guy and Macey are here.

  Are you serious? Just fucking tell them.

  I wait for her to respond, but she doesn’t so I text her again, What the fuck should I do?

  Walking back out, I decide to take a seat at the bar and watch them all visiting. I can sense that Cameron isn’t into it. She’s stressed and I want to make it better.

  The waitress comes out of the back with a tray of food and I stop her, “Would you mind not telling those other people at the table that I came here with her?”

  She nods, a little confused but walks off. Rounding the back of the bar, so I can walk like I am leaving, I pretend to be on my phone and stroll on by their table, sure enough Guy spots me. “Nixon?” he hollers out and I stop, looking at him and then Cameron.

  “I gotta call you back,” I say into my phone then slip it into my pocket.

  “What are you doing here?” Guy asks me, “I assumed you were sick since you missed work today.

  “I tweaked my back surfing, bro, I left Mack a message. Didn’t he tell you?”

  “No, he said he hadn’t heard from you.”

  “Don’t know; I called him.”

  “Do you wanna have a seat?” Macey asks, thankfully changing the subject.

  “Oh, I don’t want to interrupt your meal.”

  “You’re not. We bombarded Cam,” Guy says

  “You sure?” I ask again and Cam pulls the chair out next to her.

  “Hey thanks,” I respond and take a seat in it.

  “Is your back feeling better?” Guy asks me.

  “Yeah, I went in and got a shot of cortisone in it. It’s an old injury from the Navy that easily flares up from time to time.”

  Cameron is awkwardly quiet, and under the table, I take my hand and grab her thigh as high up as I can. She looks at me with wide eyes, and I play it cool, smirking.

  “So how was work? Did you guys get a lot of calls?”

  They both shake their heads at me and then the waitress sets our lobster dip down. Grabbing a chip, I dig in; I’m so hungry. Cameron says, “Sure, help yourself,” reminding me that I’m supposed to pretend I didn’t order the food.

  “Oh, is this not for the table?” I ask her with a chuckle and a mouthful of food.

  She doesn’t respond and Guy asks us, “Is something going on between you two?”

  “No way. Why would you think that?” she’s quick to answer him.

  “No reason,” he says and right then…we’re fucked. If we can’t even sit across from him at a table how are we going to make it through eight hours of work each day? I think the best thing to do is to tell them. Even if Luke is pissed—or whatever—he’ll get over it. I mean, honesty is the best policy…right?

  Chapter 17

  Cameron

  “He fucking knows,” I tell Nixon getting out of the shower.

  “So, what if he knows, Cam?”

  “If Luke finds out we are fucking and I didn’t tell him, he’s gonna be so hurt.”

  “Then tell him,” Nixon says calmly, and I have no clue how he is not stressed. “He’s gonna find out sooner or later. I say we tell him now. Save the poor guy from drooling over you every chance he gets. I mean, it really is nauseating.”

  “He doesn’t drool over me.”

  “You can leave those off,” he says looking down at my underwear and I roll my eyes.

  “Would you be serious for once?” I ask him.

  “What?” he questions me and I walk away going into my bathroom. “Come on, Cam, don’t get all sensitive now.” He comes into the bathroom and hugs me around my waist as I clean my face.

  “Luke and Guy are my best friends, even if Luke and I have a past. I don’t want to do anything to put a rift in between us at work, or hurt Luke, okay?”

  He nods and kisses the top of my shoulder. Turning in his hold, I grasp on to him by his neck. His hard cock rests against my sex, and he says to me, “See, I told you—you should’ve left your underwear off.”

  Reaching down, I remove them, but I’m distracted by his dick, stiff and throbbing as it wants me, dripping pre-cum off the end. I drop to my knees and grab ahold of him, knowing he is watching my every move.

  Stroking him a few times, I lick the tip and then wrap my
lips around the head of his shaft and suck up and down on him. He’s so soft and hard, all at once. He takes his fingers and knots them into the back of my hair, pulling me closer to him as he urges himself farther into my mouth.

  “Yes, baby, take all of me,” he says and I do my best, but as he picks up speed, he’s too much to handle and I gag. He pulls back, lifting me up, and carries me away. His hands are wound tightly around my thighs as we stop, and he rests my back on one of the empty walls of the bathroom. Reaching between us, he grips himself and crashes into me. “Jesus, Nixon,” I call out, loving the way his name rolls off my tongue. He slams me again and again, hitting the right spot.

  I gasp for air, so turned on, I can barely breathe as we fuck. He knots his fingers into the back of my hair and keeps fucking me, grunting every time I call out his name.

  My pussy is tight as he has me stuffed full, and I give over to the sensation, to the pleasure, to what Nixon is doing to me. Not wanting this to end, but not able to resist the orgasm. He pushes me out of this world and I happily oblige. My fingernails dig hard into his back. “That’s it, baby, come hard!” he shouts and I lose all sense of awareness. He’s got me completely under his spell, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. He carries me from the bathroom wall to my bed and unleashes another round of his skillful cock-work on my aching cunt.

  ***

  “We should probably drive in separately,” I tell Nixon as I pack our lunches.

  “Sure, babe,” he calls out from the bedroom. I know he doesn’t like the idea of keeping us from the guys, but it won’t be for long. I’m going to tell Luke, soon. I’d tell Guy now, but I know he wouldn’t keep it from Luke, and Luke needs to hear it from me, to understand my reasoning.

  My laptop rings and my heart jumps into my throat, I feel like I haven’t talked to Conner in forever. Leaving everything in the kitchen as is, I run to it and answer his Skype call, so happy when I see his face on the screen, but also alarmed when I see how filthy he is.