Alena looked through the window.
“Buildings, browning trees, the street, sidewalks, a red Mazda without any plates double parked in front of that black truck.”
Three young black men were gathered on the front stoop of the apartment. Alena shrugged and rolled her eyes.
“Neighborhood guys. I don’t know them but I see them around that same spot all the time.” She squinted. “One of them looks like the thug who robbed me. They’re probably dealing drugs or bragging about some woman.”
“Yes. Is this all that you think of them?”
“Well I don’t want to think of them like that. I really don’t. Maybe if they didn’t act like such savages trying to be warlords over here, and talked like they had good sense and respect for people, then they wouldn’t have half the trouble they bring on themselves.”
“I tell you the truth,” Mary said. “You have not seen them clearly. This is the crux of your work. You must see above the illusion. Alena, your robbery experience was a clarion call. It seized your attention when nothing else would. You had to lose everything to gain yourself and be drawn into an illusion to discover the truth. It is the Shetani’s plan that you harbor hatred for yourself and those that look like you. Close your eyes and still yourself,” Mary instructed.
She pressed the still burning fire from her palms into Alena’s sealed eyelids. “Now open your eyes and look at the men once more,” Mary commanded.
Alena did so and was astonished. The men were no longer clad in sagging jeans and North Face jackets. They were kings clad in gloriously luminous metallic robes. A pulsating pillar of light surrounded each of them, and a radiant pink arch of light projected thirty yards from their hearts.
“I have given you true vision, temporarily. What you can see now in these souls are their true selves, god kings walking among you. They may present as disrespectful, menacing, and selfish but it is only because the darkness has fallen upon them and lulled them to sleep, the darkness they have identified as. The same that dwelled in you. But you see their light can never be squelched. Their hearts are broken and only but a thimble of divine light can trickle through the Shetani’s filth clogging their Kingdoms. Their rage, pain of abandonment and rejection, they have transmuted it into the only power they believe they can wield; the power to take lives and accrue material wealth. But you see, their light never dies and neither does your own. You are the lamppost that will help restore all of your brothers to their true selves, Alena, the kings of light that they truly are. Are you ready for this?”
“I hope I don’t sound ungrateful Mary, but how? How? Why would the entire black race even listen to me? What could I say to make them believe? I keep hearing that I will do great things and I am very honored to do them all. But how, Mary? I’m never told how I’m supposed to work all of this magic.”
“All of your work has already begun with you. You are only uncovering what already is. It is not necessary to know how, you only need to be ready and by the time your initiation is complete you will be well equipped.”
TWENTY-TWO
By Friday evening the anticipation had climbed steadily until her heart was on the verge of bursting. Alena could hardly contain herself when she saw her daughter waiting in Gramercy Park with Gabriel.
“Mommy!” Maya squealed, running in her stiff new boots. She threw her arms around her mother and hugged her tightly. Gabriel gave Alena a nod that almost seemed remorseful and walked to his car. Alena relished in the warmth of Maya’s petal soft skin and the candy sweet smell of her hair, curled wildly around her face. Holding her again felt like rain to a long arid earth. Maya was breathing quickly, her little shoulders shuddering as her excitement turned into sobbing. Alena kissed her cheeks then gently stroked them.
“I’m here. Mommy’s here, baby.”
Maya pressed herself so hard into Alena it was as if she believed she could eventually press back into the sanctuary of her mother’s body. For the first time, Alena felt chosen. Though the desperation in her daughter’s embrace almost broke her heart, she knew she had been missed.
“I’m so happy to see you, baby!” Maya slowly loosened her grip and Alena dried her face.
“Mom, I missed you so, so much,” Maya gushed. “I love you so much, Mommy.”
“You would never understand how much I love and miss you, Maya. It’s more than anything I can describe on earth, my love. But we’re together now,” she said with a broad smile. “And now… it’s time to have some fun!” she said tickling Maya.
Alena spent the weekend half loving, half atoning, and staving off sorrow. She vowed to unearth any sadness that may have lodged itself into her daughter. They carved jack-o’-lantern faces into two fat pumpkins and drank hot cider with cinnamon sticks in them. Alena was whipping eggs into cupcake batter when Maya said suddenly, “I don’t like Miss Brittany, Mom. All she does is have her fancy parties and tell me to keep quiet while she’s having them. ‘Dress pretty and keep quiet like a good, proper young lady.’ And Dad is gone all the time. I hate it, Mom.”
Alena stopped whipping. She placed one hand on Maya’s arm and lifted her small face with the other up to meet her eyes.
“Are they hurting you? Is anyone hurting you, Maya?”
“No, Mom.”
“Is she mean to you? How does she treat you?”
Maya shrugged again.
“She’s all right, I guess. I don’t think she wants me around though. It’s like she tries to pretend I’m not there at all.”
Alena cupped her hand over mouth and breathed deeply. She closed her eyes and called on Mary and Oshun. She called on strength and mercy. She called on God and all of the celestial promises of peace for her child.
“Mom, I want to stay with you. Please, Mom. I want to stay here. Why can’t I be with you?”
“Soon enough, baby. Let’s go have some fun! I’m going to get ready and then we’ll go to Ms. Gloria’s, okay?”
Alena had been in the bathroom for less than five minutes when she heard Maya yell, “Mom, where did you get this? It’s so cool!”
Maya was peering into the brass mirror of truth. In the reflection she was a young woman many years into the future. She was dressed in a purple gown and mounted upon a throne within a crescent of other thrones. At her feet a sea of priestesses were bowed before her.
“Oh my God!” Alena gasped and then the phone rang. Somehow she could feel that it was urgent.
“Hey Ma.”
“I’m glad I caught you at home,” her mother’s grave tone gave her pause. She knew exactly what it meant.
“You doing all right? How’s Maya?”
“Yes, I’m doing good. Maya’s doing well, too. Is everything okay?”
“Look Lena Jae, it’s your father.”
Alena’s heart sank and she braced for her mother’s inevitable words.
“He doesn’t have more than a day or so. If you want to say your last goodbyes then come now, baby.”
Alena tried to ignore the sudden fear that tightened her body. .
“Okay, Mama. I’ll be there as fast as I can.”
“All right, hon.”
“Ma?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you okay?”
“I don’t know, Lena, trying to trust in the Lord.”
Alena willed the lump of sadness back down her throat.
“I love you, Mama, I’ll see you soon.”
Alena’s hand shook as she dialed Gabriel. “Yes?” He answered calmly.
“Gabe, my father is passing away. I need to leave for Maryland and I want to bring Maya with me. She’s hasn’t met my side of her fami—”
“Of course, Alena.” He said before she could finish. “Of course she can go. I’m sorry to hear about your father.”
She could hardly believe how civil he was being.
“All right, thank you for understanding. I’ll let you know when I get back.”
“Okay Alena. Take care.”
Alena blinked out
of the shock of Gabriel’s sudden decency and went to make travel arrangements.
“Maya baby, we’re taking a trip to Maryland. Something’s happened to my father, Grandpa Linny. He’s very, very sick so we have to move fast. I want you to meet him before...never mind. So I want you to pack three days of clothes really quick, okay?”
Maya nodded and stuffed school clothes into her princess suitcase.
“Mom, is Grandpa Linny going to die?”
“Probably so, honey.” A tear fell and Alena wiped it away quickly with the back of her hand trying not to let Maya see.
“Mom, is Grandpa Lin still a bad man?”
The question alone seized her tongue. She was ashamed that it was even in Maya’s consciousness, but it was one she finally could answer differently. “Grandpa wasn’t a bad man, baby. I should have never told you that, it wasn’t for little ears.”
Maya hugged her mother. “I don’t want you to be sad, Mom.”
“I know, baby. Go on and get ready okay? We’ve only got a short while to make the next train.”
“Mom, why didn’t you ever want me to visit Grandpa Earl and Grandma Dinah before?”
“Remember I told you before Maya Bear, we had a lot of problems and…and it just wasn’t a good time for you to know them yet.”
“So it’s a good time now?”
“Yes, Maya. It’s time now, that’s all that counts.”
***
The taxi arrived at the hospice and they carted their luggage past the lobby. Alena saw her sisters Agatha and Syreeta in the hallway and felt the weight of their shocked glances. They must not have expected her. Alena was shocked, too. They both looked so different, fully grown women with lives of their own that had not included her in years. Syreeta was fleshier now. Her body seemed to carry at least sixty extra pounds since the last time Alena saw her. She prayed that neither of them would greet her with anger.
A brooding patchwork of shame, love, and grief stretched over the Johnson sisters. Underneath its shadow they all stood with tear filled mourning the past and present. They embraced as a family, though with anxious tenderness, speaking nothing of the churning that lay just beneath.
“You both look great,” Alena finally said. “You do, you look wonderful. I’m so, I’m sorry we’re having to come together like this. I’m sorry for everything, for staying away…”
“Oh be quiet,” chided Agatha. “Don’t be sorry. You’re here now. We’re together. Now is not the time to feel sorry, Lena, so don’t, okay?”
She rubbed Alena’s back with sisterly affection and sighed. “You’ve always been our Lena Jae no matter what.”
Syreeta averted her eyes from Alena’s. Her tears had forged two long trails in her makeup.
Agatha turned to Maya.
“Oh my God, is this my niece?” She cooed. “Look at this beautiful child! Look at that face. I’m your Auntie Aggie and this is your Auntie Reeta. We’ve been waiting to meet you for a long, long time.”
Maya smiled timidly, awkward under all of the attention. Agatha bent down and gave her a loving hug then turned back to Alena.
“You should go on in. He’s been waiting for you. We’ll be out here. The doctors don’t want us to crowd him, one at a time. Randy and Mama should be back any minute. Ma had a little bit of a breakdown so he took her to get some air,” she said.
“We’ll go in then. I want Maya to see Daddy.” Both Syreeta and Agatha shot Alena quizzical looks as Alena held Maya’s hand and walked toward her father’s room. Before they entered, Maya jerked her hand out of Alena’s grasp.
“Mom, I don’t want to. I don’t want to say hello. Please,” she was tugging on Alena’s arm, starting to panic.
“Maya, come now, don’t you want to see your grandfather?”
“I can see him from here, Mom.”
“It’s probably frightening to see him like this, Lena,” Agatha said. “No worries, I’ll take her to the lobby. I think I’ve got some games on my phone sweetness, why don’t you come with Auntie Aggie?” She then led Maya down the corridor.
“Thank you,” Alena mouthed to her sister and stepped into the room.
Her father lay limp on the hospital bed, barely looking anything like himself. He had grown even frailer than before.
“Daddy,” Alena whispered. She held his hand and this time he didn’t flinch. He grasped hers back.
“Lee?” he was too weak to speak her name fully.
“Yes, Daddy, I’m here.”
“I love…” he uttered. His dimming eyes stared through hers, and then grew more and more vacant as if he were in a lingering dream.
“I love you too, Daddy.”
“Ready to go home.” His breathing grew fainter and fainter. The life left in his eyes dimming. He was fading.
“Doctor! I need a doctor!” Alena screamed. Though she knew it was too late.
“Daddy! Daddy!” She screamed. Begged. Her father clenched her hand and she felt his life fading away under her fingertips.
“Lord, forgive me my sins.” He abruptly drew in a sharp breath, then pushed out a quiet breath.
Suddenly a huge plume of the black smoke formed from her father’s breath and curled into the ceiling like the ink from a squid. It hovered over his lifeless body for a few moments and then dissipated, giving way to a blue glow that filled the room. Brilliant azure and gold light surged through and around him, embossing an ancient otherworldly symbol into the surface of his skin over his heart.
Alena let out a gasp. The light’s bright expanse glared from the bed and drenched the room, banishing the smoke to nothingness. The Shetani had finally released their captive. His coal black irises gleamed silver, like bursts of starlight beckoning from another world. There was magic in them. There was kindness and beauty and promise restored in every part of him and Alena could now see her father clearly. The glyph emblazoned on his chest smoldered brightly with a sparkling blue green light. It was electric, alive.
She realized that she was still holding his hand and watched in awe as the blue green light radiated down his hand and into her own, until every wall of every vein and capillary in her was lit up with the iridescent glow. Alena looked at her reflection in the medical equipment. Her skin looked as if marbled with blue stardust. Her face was illuminated as well, and her eyes gleamed with silver just like her father’s.
From his flesh to his heir’s, a deep seated ancient power surpassing earthly limitations clapped down into her like lightening kissing the earth. She heard Isis say, “You are not and have never been under a curse. You of human and ancient Sirian blood are under a blessing.” Her father gently closed his eyes. He had given his final gift to his daughter, the last of his light, the Sun of Sirius.
TWENTY-THREE
Alena’s father’s funeral was a small affair. She spent most of it clenching her sisters’ hands, trying to convince herself that it was all real. Though when she finally allowed her eyes to fall on his dead body and really view it and study it, something quite unexpected occurred to her; she realized she would never again have to carry the weight of his secrets. She would no longer have to be loyal to his pain or to the life she lived because of it. Neither would he.
“You all right, Reeta?” Alena asked her sister who was sitting in their mother’s cramped living room alone.
Syreeta only shrugged, staring ahead.
“Do you mind if I sit in here with you?”
She shrugged again. Alena settled into the small space left on the sofa next to Syreeta’s ample hips.
“Folks left enough cakes, pies, and casseroles here to feed an Army didn’t they?” Alena said.
“Well it is a repast, Lena. You know people and funerals. They try to help you feed the grief away with all that food I guess.”
“How’s Ma doing?” Alena asked.
“Sleep now. Those nerve pills she’s been taking finally put her out.”
“And how are you doing, with everything?”
“He’s in the
ground now, ain’t he? It is what it is.”
“Interesting way to put it, Reeta. Well, I wanted to tell you that we’re going to head back for New York soon. Maya’s got school in the morning and I’ve got work.”
“Must be nice.” Alena could hear injured bitterness in her voice.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing. It don’t mean nothing. Make sure you wrap Maya up good on your way back, looks like she’s catching a cold or something.”
“Thanks, I will.”
“You got a precious little girl, Lena. Besides being bright yellow, she looks a lot like you. Smart as a whip, too. You should’ve heard her at the hospice. She was telling us all kinds of things, talks like a little woman.”
“Thanks, Reeta. Maya’s my heart. I’m surprised you don’t have any of your own yet. You always loved kids.”
“Ain’t worked out like that for me.” Her chest heaved with a sigh. “Look here, I’m going for a smoke and a walk. If you see Aggie before I do, tell her Mr. Dean will be looking for that check for the flowers and he’ll be here any minute.”
“Okay, I’ll let her know. So the service isn’t paid off?”
“No. The funeral home let us piecemeal some of it here and there. But don’t worry yourself. Mama, Aggie, Randy, and me got a system. We know who’s got what til’ it’s all taken care of.”
“Why didn’t anyone ask me to help out?”
“You really want to ask that question, Lena?”
“I’m his daughter, too.”
“Well, Ma said you were in a bad way, things weren’t all that rosy for you in New York and to leave you out of it. So don’t worry about it. We’re taking care of what needs to be done like we’ve been doing all this time. It’s not like it would be any different just because you decided to pop back up all the sudden.”
“Ouch. I’ll take that. I knew it was coming at some point. Reeta, from the bottom of my heart, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, okay?”
She reached for her sister then drew back touching her hand. Syreeta was silent and hard as a stone.
A Fistful of Honey Page 18