A Wallflower at the Highland Court: A Slow Burn Highlander Romance

by Barclay, Celeste

  Maude pushed at Kieran’s chest and tried to scramble out from beneath him. He didn’t understand her reaction until he realized that, in her innocence, she had no knowledge of how men and women eased their own lust. He clasped a wrist in each of his hands and drew her arms over her head. Her squirming body arched under his and froze as a new awareness coursed through her. Her breasts strained against his chest, her nipples painful darts beneath the heavy fabric of her kirtle. Kieran shifted both of her hands into one of his before gripping her hip and pulling her down the table. His rod jerked against her entrance as he pressed her against the table. His thumb found her pearl and circled.

  “Do you feel that? Feel how my hand makes you come alive?” He continued to draw slow circles as he pressed. Her writhing told him he’d found the correct rhythm. He paused to draw one of her hands down to the juncture of her thighs before guiding it between her legs. He showed her how to work the bundle of nerves as she strained toward him. “You can ease your own ache, mo leannan. You don’t need me.”

  “I do need you,” she whimpered.

  “Shh. That’s not what I meant. You don’t need me to feel release if I can’t be with you. Just as you can climax on your own, so can a mon. I’ve been stroking myself every day since I felt you against me on that terrace. It’s the only way I survived not being able to make love to you. I close my eyes and picture you. I can see you, smell you, taste you as I work myself. You make me so hard so many times throughout the day, just from the image of you in my mind, that I had to ease my cods, or the only thing people would remember of me is my rampant cockstand. And it would take little for them to figure out the reason. I suspect people have picked up on my interest.”

  “Why didn’t you teach this to me before you left?” Maude accused and harrumphed at the press of Kieran’s grin against her cheek. She pushed his hand away from her bud. “I don’t find any of this humorous. You knew of a way to ease my discomfort and never told me, rather keeping the secret to yourself and enjoying its benefit. Then when we are together, you steal my chance to show you how much I--”

  “How much you what?” Kieran held his breath. Would she admit that she loved him just as he did her? She gazed at him, but it had grown too dark to make out his expression.

  “How much I care.” Maude was unprepared to admit her feelings when she was unconvinced Kieran shared them, at least not to the same depth.

  “I didn’t realize it would upset you. I wasn’t rejecting you. I was protecting you.”

  “I don’t need protecting from everything, turtledove. I want to experience the same pleasures you do.”

  “And if now that I’ve taught you how, what if you discover you no longer need me?”

  Maude paused, and if Kieran could have seen her aghast expression, he would have laughed.

  “Is that why you didn’t show me how to pleasure myself? You feared that if I knew how, I’d stop wanting you? You seem to still want me even though you pleasure yourself. You make no sense. I think that now I know, I want you all the more.”

  “I do want you. In every way, Maude.”

  Maude pressed against his shoulder until he stood up, and she followed. He helped her slip from the table.

  “What do you mean, turtledove?”

  Kieran wouldn’t propose to Maude in the dark. Nor would he do it only moments after they came so close to coupling. He wouldn’t allow her ever to wonder if he’d asked merely out of passion. He took her hand, and when he opened the door, he looked both ways before stepping out. They walked in silence until they entered the queen’s gardens. There was no one there, which suited Kieran’s purpose, but he sought a place that was open and light. He wanted to see Maude when he asked, and while he wanted privacy, he didn’t want her to wonder if he tried to hide his feelings for her.

  “I mean, buttercup, that I want you by my side in everything, day and night. I want you to be the first person I see every morn, and the last person I see every eve. I want to ken I can see you, touch you, hear you, taste you, smell you, everything with you every day for the rest of our lives. I’m asking, will you marry me, Maude?”

  “Yes.”

  Kieran was unprepared for the succinct answer. The certainty in Maude’s voice rang in his ears, and her clear gaze confirmed that she’d accepted his proposal. “You mean it?” He still needed the confirmation.

  “Aye. I’ll marry you, turtledove,” Maude beamed. Kieran lifted her off her feet and twirled her around, whooping loudly enough to draw attention from the servants in the courtyard and surrounding buildings. When Kieran put her down, she lifted onto her toes and offered the most tender kiss she would muster, and he returned it tenfold. Even though they’d spoken no words of love, it was in the kiss. Maude prayed that one day Kieran would say them aloud, but accepted that they might never come. It cast a pall on her for a moment before she shook it off, reminding herself that she hadn’t the nerve to say them either. When they pulled away, Kieran tucked her head against his chest and kissed her crown. She closed her eyes as she absorbed the steady heartbeat against her cheek.

  “May I ask a boon, mo ghràidh?”

  “Of course, mo leannan. Anything.” Kieran closed his eyes and reveled in the moment of affection after such passion and excitement.

  “I realize we might marry here or Stornoway as expected, but I hoped to travel to Dunrobin for the wedding. It would mean a great deal to me to have my mother and brother there.”

  “If that is what you wish, then we will marry there.”

  “You don’t mind? What aboot your mother and sister? Will they come?”

  Kieran’s heart sank. Not because he would miss having his mother there, but because he dreaded having to admit that the women wouldn’t make the effort. They’d left things on a sour note, and he wasn’t sure how they would receive the news, be it an invitation to the wedding or their marriage announcement. He would honor his word to Maude. “I will send them a missive in the morn.”

  “How soon might they reach Dunrobin?”

  “A sennight or less.” Kieran shrugged.

  “Perfect.”

  “Lass?”

  “I suppose I can survive the delay, knowing it’s so your family can join us.”

  “Delay? It’ll take three sennights for the banns to post, and at least that long to be ready for the wedding. I imagine a sennight here for your father to conclude his business and be ready for travel, a sennight on the road to Sutherland, and a sennight for you to prepare for the ceremony and feast.” Kieran snapped his mouth shut at the disappointed look on Maude’s face. “What is it, buttercup?”

  “I don’t want to wait that long.” Maude fought the tears welling in her eyes and looked away. She couldn’t explain why she felt like weeping other than she’d been so excited one moment, and then the notion of another delay crushed her. “I didn’t anticipate it would take that long.”

  “Three sennights? You know we must post the banns.”

  “Aye, but it doesn’t have to be three Sundays, just three Masses. Da’s business here was with you, and you both resolved that ages ago. He’s only remained to spend time with Blair and me and to monitor our courtship. Your original matters concluded over a moon ago, and things sit well with my father. Blair and I can pack in less than an hour, and I suppose neither you nor Da would take much longer. We’d arrive at Sutherland at the same time as your messenger arrives in Stornoway. We’d still have to wait a sennight for your family to arrive, but I’d rather a fortnight than three sennights.”

  “One sennight, mo leannan. That’s all we need to wait if a priest can read the banns that quickly.” Kieran tucked hair behind Maude’s ear and sighed. “Lass, I doubt my mother and sister will come. I had a falling out with my mother before I left.”

  “She wouldn’t come to her only son’s wedding? I can’t believe that.” Maude saw the defeat in Kieran’s expression and chose not to press. Her heart ached to know there was a rift between mother and son, especially since she sus
pected she was the cause. She whispered, “Invite her, and we shall go from there.”

  Kieran tipped her chin up and pressed a kiss beside the corner of her jaw. “You’re too good to me, buttercup. I’m a blessed mon to have you as my bride.” He kissed her again. “I know you worry this rift is because of you, but it’s not. My mother brought this upon herself.”

  Maude shivered with a sense of dread. It dampened the happiness that had warmed her when Kieran proposed. A sinking sensation that life in Stornoway would be all too familiar took root in her belly.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Kieran observed Maude riding next to her sister. They’d left Stirling the next morning after announcing their betrothal first to Hamish, then to the king and queen. It came as little surprise to anyone, so Maude was relieved when the queen released her from her duties as a lady-in-waiting. The queen’s offer to allow Blair as much time away from court as she wanted brought both women to tears. They knew their godmother wouldn’t keep Blair from joining her family, but they’d expected a limit to her generosity.

  Maude and Kieran’s betrothal was announced at evening’s meal to many gasps and whispers, but it was an excuse for feasting. Now the sun was sinking low on their first day of travel. The sisters had nattered together for most of the ride. Kieran caught glimpses of how both women must have been before they arrived at court. There was an ease to their banter that his sisters had never shared, and it made him curious about what they would be like when their brother entered the mix. Hamish and his guards led their party while Kieran and his small contingent brought up the rear. Hamish asked if Kieran preferred to ride up front, but he used the excuse that they headed to the Sutherlands’ home, so they should lead. The truth was, he didn’t want Maude out of his sight. He couldn’t stop looking at his bonnie bride, nor was he willing to risk being unprepared to reach her in case of attack. Guards flanked the women while Peat followed behind Trioblaid.

  As they moved off the road into a clearing by a brook, Maude dismounted before Kieran could reach her side. She stood on steady legs as she continued to chatter with Blair. Neither woman looked worse for wear after hours in the saddle. She glanced at him and smiled as she took her bow and quiver from her pack. She frowned when he approached, a scowl darkening his face.

  “What’s the matter?”

  “If you insist upon mounting and dismounting without my help, I won’t be able to touch you at all on this blasted trip,” Kieran whispered. “All I want is to drag you away and make love to you, and now I can’t even touch you.”

  “Would you help me back onto my horse, so you can help me off? Would that make you feel better?” Maude quipped.

  “Yes,” he grumbled, but her peel of laughter shot straight to his cock. He was grateful to have abandoned his breeks for his breacan feile. The extra layers of wool and his sporran hid what the tight fabric of breeks would not. He covered the hand Maude laid on his chest as she strained to kiss his cheek. He turned his head so their lips met. Her gasp opened her lips enough for him to flicker his tongue inside her mouth before pulling away. He wouldn’t shame Maude by being caught kissing her in front of her father and their retinue of men.

  “Blair and I are going hunting. Would you like to join us?”

  “You two are?” Kieran remembered learning that she liked to ride and hunt, but he’d underestimated her.

  “Aye. We’re the best shots of the Sutherlands here.” Kieran quirked a brow but said nothing. Maude’s tone was so matter-of-fact that he realized she believed her own words. He wouldn’t argue with her in front of the others. Maude’s arms crossed as her lips pursed. “You don’t believe me, Kieran MacLeod. You had better catch something for yourself, because neither Blair nor I will share with you if you have so little faith.”

  Maude stuck her tongue out at him as she slipped away. Blair joined her and grinned over her shoulder at him as if to say he were a fool. An hour and six rabbits and three pheasants later, he felt like one. The sisters brought back their kill and began preparing them for the fire. He lifted the knife from Maude’s hand with a kiss on her cheek before taking her place preparing their evening meal.

  Maude finished splashing water on her face and neck, enjoying the refreshing sensation after being on Trioblaid’s back all day. She wiped a cloth along her arms, but angry voices had her lifting her skirts and running back to camp.

  “The bluidy hell ye are,” Hamish roared. Maude entered the camp to find Hamish and Kieran standing toe-to-toe, hands on the hilts of their swords as they seethed at one another. “She’s ma daughter, nae yer wife.”

  “Yet,” Kieran growled.

  “Ever, if ye keep at it,” Hamish bellowed. “I’ll sever both yer hands and leave ye to the wolves.”

  “She’s my betrothed as of last eve and now mine to protect.”

  Maude looked around the camp and caught sight of the two men she cared for most standing next two bedrolls laid side-by-side. She recognized one as her own but didn’t recognize the other until she spotted the MacLeod plaid. Then she understood. Maude rushed forward to keep the two irate men from beating one another senseless. She slipped between them, a hand on each chest. She looked up to Kieran, pleading with her eyes that he desist. He glanced down at her, then took a step back.

  “Da, Kieran’s right,” she whispered.

  “What?” Hamish blustered.

  “Da, you’ve always slept between me and Blair when we travel without Lachlan and Mama. You’ve also always whittled aboot being able to save us both if we’re attacked. You need not worry now. You will protect Blair, and Kieran will protect me.”

  “He can do that without his bedroll being on top of yours,” Hamish lunged forward, and Maude barely pushed her father back before he crushed her between two behemoth chests. Kieran pulled her from between the men and pushed her behind him, even angrier that Hamish trapped Maude between them.

  “Would you have a repeat of how your courtship began with Lady Sutherland?” Kieran hissed. “Make a move like that again with Maude nearby, and I won’t care whose father you are.”

  Hamish’s eyes widened before looking over Kieran’s shoulder at Maude, whose white hands covered her mouth in fear. He looked back at Kieran and nodded.

  “Ye’ll do as her guard, I suppose.” Hamish turned away.

  “Were you testing me?” Kieran demanded.

  “Nay, but ye passed. Be sure ye wake where ye fall asleep, or I’ll skewer ye by the bollocks.”

  As Hamish walked away, Maude fell against Kieran’s chest. He held her as she trembled. He feared she’d be angry that he threatened her father and prepared to explain himself when her slim arms wrapped around his waist.

  “I could throttle him,” she muttered.

  “Buttercup, I’m sorry.”

  “For what? Defending me the way you thought best? I may not agree with you fighting my father, but I trust you to know when to stop, to know when I’m safe. Besides, I suspect he started it.” She attempted to frown, but her smile poked through.

  The camp settled to eat the evening meal and then to sleep. Kieran took the first watch as Maude adjusted her bedroll, spreading out a Sutherland plaid across her bedroll and Kieran’s before adding his plaid as a second layer. He might not awake alive, but he would fall asleep a happy man if he could slip beneath the blankets next to Maude.

  * * *

  Maude awoke warm and comfortable as the sun peeked through the leaves overhead. She snuggled into the source of heat, thinking her plaid had never been adequate warmth in the past when she traveled. A hand cupped her backside, and she realized the source of her comfort was a very large, very hot, very well-muscled man beneath her. She froze as Kieran stroked her bottom.

  “No one else is awake yet, mo leannan. Be still and we can enjoy our time a little longer,” Kieran murmured against her ear. Maude relaxed and nuzzled against his broad chest. Her eyes drifted closed as she breathed in Kieran’s sandalwood and pine scent. He’d washed while she and Blair hun
ted, and his fresh scent had greeted her when he slipped under the blankets at the end of his watch. She remembered him pulling her back against his chest as he settled next to her. It was the best night of sleep she could remember.

  Alas, her comfort was abruptly ruined when the heavens opened to a downpour. The camp scrambled to pack and saddle the horses. The rain doused the fires, leaving smoldering piles that the men covered with dirt. They were on their horses and back on the road within a quarter of an hour from when the rain started. Maude pushed her sopping hair out of her eyes as she guided Trioblaid into the line of horses.

  The rain refused to lighten as the day progressed. Maude’s thick hair was soaked, the weight of her bun pulling on her neck. She reached back and pulled the pins from her hair. She covered her hair when she traveled to keep the road dirt from making it filthy, but the rain seeped through the shawl, making the cover useless. Once her hair was down and the strain eased, she twisted her head from side to side before pulling her plaid over her head. They ate the noon meal comprised of bannocks and dried beef in the saddle. Maude looked at Blair, who fared little better than she did. They both looked like drowned kittens huddled under their plaids. They grinned at one another before Maude launched into a bawdy tune that made Kieran choke. Blair picked up the ditty as Hamish whirled around to look at his daughters. The ladies dissolved into laughter, pointing at their father, who looked like a bear woken early from hibernation. He roared at them to cease, which only made the sisters laugh even harder. Kieran’s eyes swept back and forth between the Sutherland sisters and their spluttering father. Neither woman feared the man, rather seeming to enjoy nettling him. Maude’s smile chased away the chill that made Kieran’s bones ache. He looked around and saw all the other men were smiling too, and Kieran leaned forward, certain Hamish settled into humming along in a deep bass. Kieran deduced that Hamish’s opposition stemmed from a sense of duty, not an aversion to the song. Maude glanced back and winked, making Kieran realize she’d orchestrated the duet to improve morale for everyone. His estimation of her grew once more. He marveled at the woman who would be his wife, the woman he loved.