A Wallflower at the Highland Court: A Slow Burn Highlander Romance

by Barclay, Celeste

  I’m not sure if I should say this as I don’t want you to take offense, but my parents offer sound council if you should ask for it. I won’t say any more than that but be reassured that the offer stands.

  Arabella gripes at me because I have reverted to wearing my hair up more often. I’m guessing you suspected I would. While it isn’t the “austere matron’s knot” that Arabella called my previous style, it’s simpler than the intricate braids. It’s something I can do myself. While my maid is skilled at creating those styles, she isn’t the gentlest of hair dressers. My scalp thanks me for retaking control of my hair.

  In less inane news—well, I can’t rightly say that there is any news. Naught but the usual has occurred since you left. It’s the endless routine of praying, eating, walking, dancing, and sleeping. I could do it in my sleep. I wish I could be doing it in my sleep. I look forward to the weather improving, so I can take Trioblaid out. I’ve kept the poor lad cooped up in his stall for sennights. I visit him and sneak him extra apples and carrots, but we haven’t been able to gallop in ages. Fear not, td, I will take Donald and Tomas with me and at least two more of Da’s guards if I ride out. I need to visit the abbey and Michael since the castle’s medicinals are running low once more. I may have to brave the wind and snow. Trioblaid never minds, but I don’t enjoy the wind up my---well, never mind where. Suffice it to say, I don’t care for it.

  Until your next missive, yours fondly,

  Bc

  PS I have no intention of relinquishing you. Fear not, I’m prepared to give you the answer you seek.

  Maude sealed the parchment and sent it with a page to find a Sutherland messenger. She prayed he had safe passage once he arrived on MacLeod land. Tensions had eased in Assynt, but she wasn’t sure that the MacLeods on Lewis had forgiven her clan yet. She’d discussed her dowry at length with her father the day before. She recognized it was unusual for him to do so, but he believed his daughters should be aware of their options for their future, so no husband or clan could take advantage of them. Maude hadn’t told her father about Kieran’s financial concerns. They didn’t seem dire, more an ongoing source of frustration. However, it relieved her to discover her dowry included a sizable portion. If Kieran safeguarded it, there would be enough to refill their coffers. Her father selected land near the border with Assynt as her dower lands. She understood and appreciated that he did this on purpose. While the MacLeods wouldn’t be allowed to build on the land, and she didn’t think Kieran would ever send any MacLeods to live on it, it would make the border less contentious.

  When the time came for a wedding, she hoped Kieran would be amenable to traveling to Sutherland, so her mother and brother could be a part of the festivities. She would stress that they invite Adeline and Abigail, too, but she wasn’t sure they would accept.

  Maude didn’t share how much better her experience at court was now that Madeline left. She was still a wallflower, and at times, it was still difficult not to envy Arabella’s beauty and poise, but she felt more confident thanks to Kieran’s support. She danced more often but was relieved when few men asked for more intimate dances. She politely refused until they no longer asked. Several assumed Kieran’s absence would open the door to seducing her. Her father disabused them of that idea. She’d overhead two men discussing her, and their comments had crushed her until she reminded herself that she wasn’t seeking their approval. They’d commented on how her breasts and backside would feel in the dark would made up for her lack of beauty, and what they intended didn’t have to involve looking at her face. She’d stumbled away and excused herself from the evening meal. It took a hearty cry before she remembered that the only man’s approval she sought was Kieran’s, and she accepted that she’d gained that by being herself.

  Missives from Kieran arrived every four days, so she’d received three more in the fortnight that passed since Kieran arrived home. He remained away almost as long as the last time he returned to Lewis, except this time, he regretted it was impossible to pledge to return within a moon. Maude looked forward to his missives and found it offered her a different way to become acquainted with Kieran, as they shared many private thoughts on how they viewed their positions as laird and lady of a clan, and they discovered they had similar stances on how to lead. They appreciated one another’s ideas and values. She offered council when he requested it, and while she had little need to ask his advice on navigating the world of ladies-in-waiting, his suggestions made her laugh. The only thing missing was the opportunity to be in each other’s presence, to touch and to feel. They shared their longing for one another and even hinted at what they wished to do once they wed. Maude’s ears often burned as she read and wrote the suggestive comments. It made the separation a little more bearable.

  * * *

  Kieran paced like a caged lion. He was even more incensed than he had been when he arrived to deal with his mother’s disregard for their clan’s finances. He’d suspected she might be intercepting his correspondence, but he hadn’t had proof until that morning. He’d been in the lists and returned to discover a missive had arrived from Maude. He’d wondered if his mother had been opening, then resealing, the letters before they were given to him. After the last missive arrived, he instructed Adam or Agatha to find him when the next one arrived. He allowed Adam to leave it on his desk as he did with all of Kieran’s correspondence. He watched his mother skulk toward his solar before entering and locking the door. He waited a couple of minutes before letting himself in. She stood beside his desk, missive in hand, sneering at it. She didn’t bat an eyelash at being caught. She tossed the parchment on the desk before telling him that men bedded wantons like Maude but never married them. He fought the urge to wring her neck but ordered her out of his solar. He locked and barred the door before rushing to retrieve the precious letter.

  Td,

  I miss you. I realize that I shouldn’t greet you with that. That I shouldn’t bemoan our separation but rather reassure you that all is well in your absence, but I can’t. I miss you and find myself in a foul mood today for it. I hear your voice in my head, but it’s not the same as when you kiss my neck and whisper to me. The spot at the corner of my jaw tingles with the same need for your attention as the rest of me does. I wish to lay my eyes on you again, for you are the most handsome man I know. It still mesmerizes me that someone so fine as you should have chosen someone like me. I admit I still worry others will think you’ve settled. But enough of the doldrums. Suffice it to say, I look forward to your return.

  Kieran paused and considered what his mother accused Maude of. These sentiments were benign, and even the racier things they shared were innocent. But Adeline couldn’t have known or considered Maude’s comments questionable based upon this letter. She’d read the others.

  I hope things are on the up and up with your family and clan. I dislike thinking of you bearing these burdens alone, but it seems that Kyle lends a good ear. I wish there was more for me to do to assist, but I feel rather hopeless so far from you. And it’s not my place. While this might add salt to the wound, Blair convinced me to order a new gown. It’s arriving in a sennight. I shall save it for your return. I’d like to look my best when you arrive. I hope you haven’t forgotten what I look like. I’m about yay tall—place your hand on your breastbone — with dark hair and dark eyes. I’ll be the one waiting for you.

  Yours always,

  Bc

  Kieran folded the letter before retrieving the other ones he stored in a locked drawer. He no longer believed they were safe in his solar. The knowledge that his mother invaded his privacy ruined the notion that this chamber was his sanctuary. He would keep the letters in his sporran if he had to. They were too special to share with anyone else. He pulled a fresh parchment forward and considered what he would say.

  Bc,

  How could I forget what you look like when you are on my mind constantly? I’m intrigued by this new gown. I would ask you to describe it, but I intend to see it and you before your res
ponse can reach me. I’ve concluded the business that took me from you, and I plan to leave here in two days. I will send a rider ahead when we are an hour outside of Stirling. Meet me in the spense and wear your new gown, if you would. I long to see you in it almost as much as I long to slip you out of it. Bc, I ache to touch you, to taste you. I hope it is the same for you. Promise me a smile for when I return. The one where one corner of your mouth twitches up. I’m always desperately curious about what you’re thinking when you gift me with one of them. I shall take you in my arms and hold you for as long as we dare.

  Will you say yes if I ask? Consider your answer, for it shall be the first thing I say. I miss you, bc. Not much longer, mo leannan. Not until we’re reunited and not till I claim you as my wife.

  Devotedly yours,

  Td

  After sealing the parchment, Kieran summoned his messenger. The man nodded before Kieran had the chance to give his instructions. They were always the same: the messenger is to deliver missive into no one’s hands but Lady Maude. He tucked the stack of older missives into his sporran and went in search of Kyle. He acknowledged that he was letting his mother chase him from his home, but he was fed up with being delayed and manipulated. His mother met his announcement of his imminent departure with silence, while his sister shed crocodile tears. When he rode out two days later, anyone watching would have thought the flames of hell were licking at his boots.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Maude sensed someone followed her, but she couldn’t hear the sound of any footsteps. She increased her pace, but she failed to shake the intuition that someone was approaching. She prepared to run when she heard her name.

  “Lady Maude,” a man’s voice called. “I bear a missive from the MacLeod.”

  Maude spun around and recognized the messenger. She placed her hand over her chest, her heart racing. She ran her clammy hands over her gown as the man approached.

  “You startled me, John. I didn’t realize it was you.”

  “I didna want to call out and draw attention to ye. Ma laird instructed me to tell ye he sends good news.” John handed the parchment over before bowing and leaving her alone with her letter.

  Maude rushed to her chamber, uncaring that she was supposed to make her way to the gardens for the ladies’ morning walk. She pried the seal off and unfolded the letter. She sat on her bed as she read the distinct handwriting she would now recognize anywhere. She covered her mouth to keep from crying out when she read Kieran was on his way. Receiving the missive meant he would already be halfway to Stirling if all went to plan. She had only two more days to wait. Happy tears trailed down her cheeks as she lay back on her bed with the missive resting over her heart. She wished she might fall asleep and wake up two days later since it would be even harder to pass the next couple of days, remembering he was so close but not yet there.

  * * *

  Kieran dried his face and put on a fresh leine but kept his breacan feile on rather than take the extra few minutes to don breeks. The sun was already setting, and he didn’t like picturing Maude wandering the courtyard and storage buildings alone in the dark. He made his way toward the spense and rounded the last corner as a small figure walked toward him. He recognized Maude immediately, and it seemed she recognized him too because she ran toward him. His longer stride brought him to her as she launched herself into his arms. He clasped his arms around her waist and twirled her around.

  “You’re back!” Maude burbled. She couldn’t think of anything else to say, so she grasped his face and kissed him. She poured all her excitement and frustration into that kiss. Kieran groaned and hoisted her higher, encouraging her to wrap her legs around his waist. He pushed the door open to the nearest storeroom before kicking it shut. Maude’s back bumped into the wooden portal as his tongue dove into the silky recesses of her mouth. Their hands were everywhere as they explored one another. As Kieran’s eyes adjusted to the dim light, he scanned the room and found a table off to the side. He carried Maude to it and eased her to lie back, his body covering hers as his lips trailed fire and ice over her neck and chest.

  “I’ve waited months to taste you, Maude, and I won’t wait any longer.” Kieran’s fingers danced a path from the inside of her ankles to her knees. His hands stopped on her thighs in the same place as the last time they were alone like this; now, he bent and placed kisses there. He pushed her long skirts higher as his mouth nipped and licked until it met the juncture of her leg and hip. He trailed his tongue along the joint’s crease before repeating the same rapturous exploration on the other side. His thumbs inched closer to her sheath, drifting with a slow glide to give Maude time to adjust to the new sensations. Her fingers fisted the shoulders of his leine as his mouth returned to her chest. “I anticipate you shall taste like rich honey that I shall want to lick over and over. I’ve fantasized aboot bringing you to release with my tongue, and I shall live out that fantasy now.”

  Kieran’s thumbs pulled her nether lips apart before the flat breadth of his tongue swept from bottom to top, his lips furling around her nub. He flicked it twice before drawing hard on the cluster of nerves that made her hips lift from the table. He pressed her back down as his tongue made another pass, this time the tip delved into her sheath. She writhed and moaned as one new sensation after another ricocheted from her core outward.

  “Kier?”

  “Yes, mo ghaol. I’ll make it better. Wheest and let me feast upon you, so I can bring you the relief you seek.”

  Kieran continued to tease the heated flesh until Maude’s moans turned to whimpers. He realized he was pushing her to her untried limits. He ran his finger along her seam, following then leading his tongue. He slipped a finger into her and groaned at how smooth and tight she felt. His cock strained to reach her, insisting that it should be within her rather than his finger. He wished to toss his plaid over his shoulder and ease the ache in his bollocks, but he admitted he would be inside Maude before either of them considered the consequences. Instead, he worked her with his tongue and fingers while stroking himself. He was careful not to pierce her maidenhead when he thrust a second finger into her, but when she guided a third finger to her sheath, his essence shot from him, pooling on the floor between his feet. His groan of satisfaction rumbled through Maude’s core and set off her own reaction. Her inner muscles clamped around Kieran’s fingers as he continued to work the sensitive flesh. Maude cried out her pleasure as the last jets of seed spurted from his cock.

  Maude held Kieran’s body against hers as she trembled from the aftershock of her release. Each time Kieran brought her to climax, the sensations were more breathtaking and addicting. Her knees shook until she capitulated and allowed them to cave in, bracketing his hips and pressing him against her. She ran lazy circles over his back as her heart slowed enough to draw a deep breath. Kieran stroked her hair and whispered soothing words as her mind drifted back to earth. As her thoughts became ordered once more, she paused and turned her head to look at Kieran, which was difficult with his head tucked against the crook of her neck.

  “What aboot you?” she murmured.

  Kieran pulled back enough for them to look at one another. “What aboot me?”

  “I got to--- but you--- it doesn’t seem fair,” Maude finished flatly, unsure how to verbalize her thoughts.

  “Oh, I did, buttercup.” Kieran’s grin was all male pride and made her core clench for his attention all over again.

  “But I didn’t touch you.” Maude’s brow furrowed in confusion.

  Kieran eased back and kissed the creases on her forehead before moving to her temple, and finally the corner of her mouth. His large hand wrapped around her neck, his thumb caressing her jaw.

  “If you had, Maude, we’d be standing before a priest this very moment. I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from making you mine. I won’t take that choice from you. I---I---” Kieran experienced a sudden wave of shyness, unsure how to admit he’d taken the matter into his own hand. He didn’t want Maude eve
r to experience embarrassment about what they shared, so he swallowed and explained. “I palmed myself. If you touched me, or I moved my plaid aside, I didn’t trust myself not to take your maidenhead. I want to feel your hands on me, to thrust inside you, to feel you climax around me, but I don’t have the right. My release would have come anyway, so I eased the tightness in my bollocks by stroking my cock.”

  In the dim light, Kieran saw Maude’s face hardened in the mask of someone who looked like he had robbed them. He realized she was angry that he’d stolen her opportunity to offer him what he was far too eager to offer her. Her jaw set and lips thinned before her eyes drifted closed. She continued to play with the hair at his collar, but when her body went lax, he recognized it wasn’t the last of the tension leaching from her; it was in frustrated resignation.

  “Buttercup?”

  “Hmmm? It’s naught.”

  “It is something. Do you regret me touching you?” Kieran feared his heart would shatter if she answered in the affirmative.

  “Of course not. I’m sure I would have combusted if you hadn’t.” Maude tilted her head further back and looked into the darkness, her gaze toward the ceiling. “I haven’t been able to touch you any of the three times. And I’d hope this time—I wanted to be the one—I wanted to be the reason for your climax like you’re the reason for mine.” She choked out her thoughts and stiffened when Kieran chuckled.

  “Mo leannan, you have been the reason for my climax every day, at least once if not twice a day, since the night I met you.”