Waiting in the Wings

by Melissa Brayden

  It was pushing one a.m. at the Davenport and I was mid-slaughter in a game of darts with Lanie, having already taken Kyle down. I’d gotten to know the company members fairly well and most of them were present, spread out at various tables throughout the bar. The only people noticeably absent were Ben and Adrienne, who I’d successfully avoided since that night in her room. Lanie handed me the darts. “So in case you haven’t noticed, Kyle and Craig are an item.”

  “Yeah, the fact they leave together each night kind of tipped me off. Damn it.” I missed a double bull’s-eye.

  “I was hoping Ben would come out with us tonight. Probably spending a cozy evening alone with Ms. Kenyon.” She exhaled deeply and looked very much the petulant child. “With all the nights they spend together, maybe they’ll get sick of each other and break up. Then I can be there for Ben in his time of need, when he realizes I’m the girl he longs for.”

  “I’m sure it’s only a matter of time, Lanie.”

  By the time Saturday night rolled around, I couldn’t take it any longer. I decided I should make an attempt at some sort of exchange with Adrienne, as we would be working together within the week. I didn’t want there to be any awkward feelings. Since Saturday was a two-show day, with a matinee in the afternoon and evening show to follow, Craig arranged for dinner to be brought in for the cast and crew. I knew after she’d eaten, Adrienne would probably spend some down time in her dressing room, resting for the performance that night. I didn’t want to bother her, but felt compelled. As I approached her door, I noticed it was open. I casually popped my head in. “Hey, you.”

  She looked up from the crossword puzzle she was working on and smiled. “Hey yourself. Do you know a six-letter word for pillow lace?”

  I thought for a moment. “Try bobbin.”

  She glanced at the puzzle and shot her hand into the air in silent victory. “Are you a professional lace maker and I don’t know about it? How’d you know that?

  “My grandmother. She was very much into arts and crafts. I picked up what I could.”

  “Were you close?” she asked.

  “Definitely. When I decided to pursue acting, she was my biggest champion. She came to see every show I ever did, even if she had to travel. She died after my freshman year at CCM. I miss her.”

  “If it helps, I have a feeling she still sees each show,” Adrienne said.

  “Yeah, I kinda feel that way too. What about your family?”

  “Well, close isn’t a word I would use to describe our family,” she said. “You’ve surely heard the horror stories of child actors and their stage parents who push them into the business and then squander away all the kid’s money? Well, that was me and those were my parents. I’m not sure either one of them could tell you what my first words were, but they could definitely quote you the amount of my first paycheck. They’re divorced now, but only because when I turned eighteen and got out of there, they had no common goal. I was the business venture that was holding them together. I haven’t heard from my father in years, and my mother, well, let’s not go down that road. She’s still around. Let’s leave it at that.”

  “That sounds awful.” I’d witnessed those kinds of stage parents firsthand at auditions in Boston.

  “It was awful, but I try not to dwell, you know? Honestly speaking, I love to perform, and I wouldn’t be here now if it weren’t for what I went through with them.”

  I nodded. That was a mature way of looking at it. I would be bitter as hell if I were her. “Well, listen, I’ll let you get ready for the show,” I said as I headed for the door. “Are you coming out with us afterward?” She hesitated at the question as if she were mulling it over.

  “Yeah, I think it’s a definite possibility.”

  *

  The Davenport was extra crowded due to the weekend, but Kyle managed to snag us a few tables near the dance floor. I sat with my normal group of Craig, Kyle, Georgette, and Lanie. I hadn’t seen Adrienne after the show, and I had my doubts she would show up, but that didn’t stop me from glancing at the door every five minutes. Kyle noticed my preoccupation and followed my eyes to the door. “A watched pot never boils,” he said. “And just who are we waiting for, may I ask?”

  “We are waiting for no one in particular,” I said nonchalantly. “Just watching for any stragglers who don’t see where we’re sitting.”

  Kyle and Craig eyed me suspiciously and looked around. “Sweetie, everyone’s here,” Craig said. “Well, almost everybody.” His eyebrows shot up. “Are you watching that door for Ben? Oh God, not you too.”

  “What? No, absolutely not. I know I’m not exactly a poster child, but I’m gay.”

  ”Well, that’s news,” Craig said.

  “Not to me. I called that after twenty minutes,” Georgette added.

  “Me too,” Lanie said, draping her arm around me.

  I looked at her as my mouth fell open in disbelief. “Oh, please, Lanie.” I shook my head. “Whatever.” Adrienne walked in and casually took a seat with Ben at the table next to ours. Lanie glanced over at them, following my gaze. I saw the realization take shape on her face as she looked back at me.

  “Oh, you’re in so much trouble.” Her eyes widened with enjoyment at this new development.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I smiled, feigned innocence, and escaped immediately to the bar for another drink. I didn’t think the other three had picked up on what Lanie had, thank God.

  At the bar, I waited patiently for the bartender’s attention, as he seemed to take everyone’s order but mine. I raised my hand to try to persuade him over my way and was pleasantly surprised when his eyebrows raised and he raced right over. Now that was progress. “What can I get for you beautiful ladies?” Ladies? I looked over my shoulder and found Adrienne standing on the other side of me with a twenty in her hand.

  “Ah, a real live celebrity,” I said. “So that explains his sudden attention. And here I thought it was my good looks.”

  “How do you know it wasn’t? Have you looked in the mirror lately?”

  The comment left me momentarily speechless. Was this flirting? And if it was, could we flirt some more?

  “I’ll have a Tom Collins,” Adrienne told the bartender. “And for you?” she asked turning to me.

  “A Coors Light would be great.”

  “Coming right up,” he said.

  Adrienne handed him the twenty, as I held out my five. “Not so fast.” She pushed my bill aside. “Let me buy you a drink. It’s the least I can do after you swept in and saved my crossword puzzle.”

  “That’s true. I did do that.” I picked up my beer and turned to her in all seriousness. “I’d like to dedicate this drink to lace makers and their bobbins all across the world. I couldn’t have done it without them.”

  “Amen to that,” she said without missing a beat.

  “Hey, wait a minute there, missy. If I’m not mistaken, you’re drinking. I thought that was on your to-don’t list.” I pointed at the glass in her hand. “What gives?”

  “I don’t know. I haven’t relaxed and cut loose in a while. I thought I deserved a night to do that. But not too much. I’ve got two more shows to do before we blow this town for Chicago. Hey, isn’t that where you make your worldwide debut as the no good boyfriend-stealing hussy?”

  “Why, yes it is, and I couldn’t be more nervous if I tried, so can we maybe not talk about it?” I asked feebly.

  “Your wish is my command. No more talking about the show. Come on; let’s go sit with those guys.” She took my hand and pulled me behind her back to my table.

  To my surprise, Adrienne pulled up an extra chair and had a seat. The table wasn’t very big to begin with, and with the added chair it got even smaller. Try as I might to focus on the banter and joking that was taking place between Craig and Adrienne, I couldn’t quite get past the fact that her right thigh was resting against my left.

  “Hold everything!” Georgette practically shouted, bringing the conver
sation at the table to an abrupt halt. “If I’m not mistaken, I believe I hear Madonna’s “Crazy for You” circa 1985 playing, and that means I must now dance. Come on, Jenna, do me the honor.” She extended her hand to me and I realized there wasn’t a choice. This girl took her eighties ballads very seriously. As much as I wanted to stay sitting next to Adrienne, I wasn’t willing to upset Georgette on such an important matter.

  I placed my hand in Georgette’s and we quickly headed for the dance floor so as not to miss any more of the song. We joined the three other couples already moving to the music, and because she didn’t give me much option, I let Georgette lead the slow dance, even though I was a good three inches taller than her. Halfway into the second verse, I saw Ben and Adrienne join us, followed shortly by Kyle and Sienna. This was interesting. I wondered how this was going to play out. I certainly didn’t have to wait long to find out, as the next thing I knew, Ben tapped me on the shoulder.

  “Mind if I cut in?” He inclined his head politely toward Georgette.

  “Um. No, go ahead.” I handed Georgette off to Ben, in time to turn around and find myself face-to-face with Adrienne. I couldn’t resist. I know I should have, but those eyes were so captivating they rooted me right to my spot. “Shall we?” I asked.

  “Definitely. I was just left for another and could use a boost to my pride.”

  I tried to sound light. “That makes two of us.” I took her hand in mine and wrapped my other arm around her waist. I made sure to leave a little distance between us to be polite. I noticed at that point we were exactly the same height.

  Almost reading my mind, with her lips close to my ear, Adrienne said quietly, “We seem to fit.”

  I involuntarily pulled her a little bit closer. “I noticed that too.” As the music played on, the gap between us gradually grew to non-existent and I couldn’t pull my gaze from hers. I was lost. I finally closed my eyes as we swayed to the slow beat of the music, reveling in how wonderful it felt to have my arms around her. As the last notes of the song played out, a feeling of dread washed over me, and I knew that the moment was over. It had been the perfect dance. I opened my eyes, returning to reality. Once the music faded, I became aware of eyes on us. Ben looked concerned, Sienna looked pissed off, and Lanie and Georgette looked triumphant. I’m not sure how Adrienne looked because she abruptly walked away.

  As I headed back to the table, I caught sight of her at the bar talking to Craig.

  “What the hell was that?” Georgette laughed, wide eyed. She seemed to be thoroughly enjoying herself. Of course I knew what she was referring to, but it was something I was still unclear on, so how could I possibly explain it to anyone else? So I did what I had to. I played dumb.

  “What? You left me for Ben; I had to dance with someone.”

  She looked to the sky as if she had a secret. “Seemed like more than a dance to me.”

  “Hells yeah, it was,” Lanie said. “Maybe she’s not so straight after all.”

  “Who?” Georgette asked. “Age?”

  Before we could answer, Craig and Adrienne approached the table and sat back down. I knew at some point I should probably try to talk to her, but this didn’t feel like the right environment.

  “So what’d we miss?” Adrienne stirred her second drink.

  “The show,” I blurted out. “We were just talking about the show.”

  “The show?” she asked. “I thought that was one thing you didn’t want to talk about.”

  “Oh, Lanie was talking about the show. Rehearsals for the show,” I stammered weakly. “I told her to shut up.”

  “That’s right. She totally snapped at me.” Lanie was having fun with this. “Craig has been a real ball-buster with the schedule though, haven’t you, Craig? But Madison and Todd are total pros. I owe them my firstborn for getting me ready so quick.”

  “Just doing my job, kid. But we all need a little relaxation now and then,” Craig said. “Speaking of which, we were thinking of hitting a gay club on our last night in town. Straight friends are invited too, of course.”

  “And now that we know you’re family, Jenna, you definitely have to come,” Kyle said matter-of-factly.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Adrienne turn and look at me. She seemed somewhat caught off guard by the comment.

  I nodded at Kyle, but my face felt hot. “Sounds fun. Let me wait and see how I feel after rehearsal.”

  I noticed Adrienne take a last sip of her drink and grab her bag. “It’s late and I better go. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” And without waiting for a response from anyone, she was gone.

  What was that about? I decided I at least needed to try to talk to her and make sure things were okay. I said good night to everyone and headed for the door.

  It was starting to rain a little. I had an umbrella in my bag, but I didn’t bother. I caught sight of Adrienne halfway down the block. I doubled my pace and jogged up beside her.

  “Hey.” I slowed her down with a hand to her arm. “That was a pretty quick exit. Everything all right?” Thunder rolled in the distance.

  She paused. She looked thoughtful, turning to face me fully. “You didn’t tell me you were gay.”

  Okay, here we go. “It didn’t come up, I guess.” I took a moment to gather my thoughts. “It’s not like I meant to keep it a secret, Adrienne. I’m sorry if it upsets you. I didn’t want it to. I guess if we’re being honest, that’s maybe why I didn’t bring it up right away. It was stupid, I know but—”

  “It doesn’t upset me. I just didn’t realize. I think if I had—”

  “Then what? What would you have changed?” I was starting to feel a little defensive. “Would we not have been friends? Does it make you uncomfortable?”

  “No, I just would have handled a lot of things differently.”

  “Differently how?”

  “Like this.” She dipped her head and captured my lips in an unexpected though utterly searing kiss. As she released me, I stared back at her, stunned.

  “But you and Ben are—”

  “Close friends,” she said.

  “Close friends,” I repeated slowly, taking in this new information. If Adrienne was a lesbian then my mind had a lot of rearranging to do. Not that I was at all against rearranging.

  “Jenna, I’m gay. I thought you knew that. Hell, everyone here knows that.”

  “Wow.” I ran my hand through my hair, noticing it was getting wet. The rain was beginning to pick up, but I wasn’t finished with this conversation. I took Adrienne’s hand and pulled her under the awning of a nearby store. For a moment we stared at each other. The dim light from the nearby streetlamp illuminated her face just enough for me to find myself disarmed by the way she was looking at me. I let the fingers of my right hand brush her cheek.

  She turned into my hand slightly. “Is this a good idea?”

  I leaned in a little and my lips slowly pressed against hers in a soft, lingering kiss. It was a simple kiss, but I felt its results all the way to my toes. As I pulled back, she looked at me, surprised it seemed, before closing her eyes and resting her forehead against mine.

  “Jenna,” she began quietly, “I like you a lot, but I’m fully committed to this show, and I’m not sure what I can offer at this point.”

  “I’m not asking you for anything. I just know I like spending time with you. Can we start there? No strings, I promise.”

  She seemed to consider this for a moment. “I wouldn’t mind us spending some time together. But you have to understand these people look to me as a leader both on and off stage. I have to set an example, and I have to be professional about this and remember why I’m here. That doesn’t leave a lot of room for much else. I’ve been down that path and it doesn’t often work.”

  I nodded my head, fully understanding her concern. “I think we’re on the same page. Why don’t we play it by ear?”

  “We could do that, I suppose. Play it by ear.” Adrienne leaned in and kissed me softly on the cheek. “Sweet dreams, Je
nna.” She turned and walked back to the hotel. I watched her go and shook my head, marveling at how quickly things could change.

  Chapter Three

  I was exhausted. Beyond exhausted. It was my last day of rehearsal, and I refused to give in to it. There was too much going on. I popped a multivitamin and got myself dressed. After today, I would be on my own, and I was filled with self-doubt at that prospect. Questions raced through my head. What if I wasn’t ready? What if I got onstage and forgot the two weeks of rehearsal completely? I made a mental list of the things I wanted to go over with Madison that day.

  The schedule consisted of some last-minute individualized rehearsal with the dance captains and stage managers followed by the big put-in rehearsal for Lanie and me.

  We’d been rehearsing in the theater for the past couple days. Now that I knew the lines, songs, choreography, and the off-stage track to follow, I needed to practice with actual props and scenery. Some of the sets were motorized and others pieces flew in from the open space above the stage. If an actor wasn’t on her toes, she could be seriously hurt by the set itself. There seemed to be so much to remember. I was feeling overwhelmed.

  I waited for Lanie in the hotel lobby so we could walk to the theater together. I was getting used to the fact she was always late. Sure, it was part of her charm, but it wasn’t cool to be late to work, and that was what I was about to be. Just as I was giving up on her, I spotted her sprinting from the elevator.

  “I’m late, I know. Don’t say anything. Just nod and I’ll know you forgive me and will eventually lose that angry crease on your forehead.”

  I nodded. “Let’s get out of here before we’re out of the show we haven’t even debuted in.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” she replied with a mock salute.