Waiting in the Wings

by Melissa Brayden

  We increased our usual speed as we walked, hoping to make up the time. I was doing my best to focus on the task at hand and put last night out of my head, but Lanie had other ideas.

  “So what exactly happened last night with Adrienne? You guys left kind of abruptly. Let’s just say lots of eyebrows were-a-raising.”

  I didn’t want to get into it in case Adrienne didn’t want our conversation broadcasted, but at the same time it might be nice to talk it out with someone “Well, to start with it turns out she’s gay.”

  “I’ve heard. The rest of the guys filled me in a little after you two split last night.”

  Wonderful. I could only imagine what type of speculation was going around about us.

  “I would think that would make you happy,” she said “but you seem kind of nonchalant about the whole thing. So?”

  “So I guess you could say she made it very clear she’s not looking for a relationship, but she didn’t exactly say she was ruling it completely out either. It sounds like she doesn’t like to mix work with her personal life. Maybe it’s burned her in the past.”

  “Sienna,” she said simply.

  “What?”

  “Sienna’s her ex. They apparently had a pretty volatile relationship while working on another show together that radiated out to the company. It was a bad situation, and when Adrienne ended it, all hell broke loose. Sienna went crazy with anger and almost lost her job over it. Craig was the SM on the show and says it was hard to be around them during that time period. They’re friends now, but it wasn’t easy for them to get there from what I hear. It’s probably scarred Adrienne. She doesn’t want to go through that again.”

  “Whoa. Okay.” Adrienne hadn’t been specific, but this at least clued me in a little bit to an experience she was drawing from. I wanted to talk to her about it and explain that our situation didn’t have to mirror what she’d gone through with Sienna. To begin with, I wasn’t the hateful psychotic Sienna seemed to be.

  The rehearsal with Madison and Todd seemed to fly by. I was feeling more confident by the time we finished and was excited to move on to the put-in rehearsal. The three costumes I would wear throughout the course of the show had arrived after being tailored to fit me. It was surreal to put them on along with my customized Alexis wig, which was auburn and a bit shorter than my own hair. As I stood in the girls’ dressing room surveying myself as Alexis, I felt tears well up in my eyes. I didn’t recognize myself, and for the first time, I felt one hundred percent connected to this character. I was ready. The nerves were there, but it was excitement I was experiencing, not fear.

  The rest of the cast arrived and got into costume and hair for the rehearsal. We would run it from beginning to end with the goal of not stopping unless something went drastically wrong. Sienna would be resuming her ensemble track now that I was taking over as Alexis. She seemed extra cold today, which could have been because I was taking a role she desperately wanted or quite possibly because she had seen what happened between Adrienne and me the night before. It was hard to say. I didn’t see or talk to Adrienne before the rehearsal began, but I watched from the wings as she sang her opening ballad. I got goose bumps on my forearms as I listened to her. Her voice was the most beautiful I had ever heard and I didn’t think I would ever get used to it, no matter how many times I heard her sing.

  Finally, it was my turn to take the stage with the rest of the cast for the fast-paced group number. It was energizing to finally have everyone else dancing alongside me, as opposed to just Lanie in rehearsal. It was cool to feel it all come together and to be a part of that.

  My first scene with Adrienne was a little nerve-racking. I respected her so much as an actress and I didn’t want to embarrass myself or not hold my own in the scene. For the first half of the show, Alexis was Evan’s sidekick, her best friend, and confidant. It was important that we had a comfortable chemistry. However, three minutes into the scene, I was concentrating more on the logistics of the show, the blocking, the light cues, and making sure I was at the right place at the right time. It was Adrienne’s hand on my forearm coupled with her character’s genuine laughter in response to one of my funnier lines that reminded me I was supposed to feel as well as hit my mark. When I realized she was purposefully trying to pull me into the scene, all the small details faded into the background, and I made the relationship of these two women matter most.

  But there was a lot to remember, and I made several key mistakes. One of the biggest was missing an important cross that got me out of the way of a set change. Without missing a beat, Adrienne took me by the hand and guided me to where I needed to be on the stage. She could have let disaster strike, delay the set change, and let me hear about it in notes later. I’d worked with a lot of actors who would have taken that route, a trial by fire mentality, but instead she’d backed me up.

  During what would be intermission, I changed my costume and hairstyle to reflect the passage of time in the show. I grabbed a bottle of water and had a few minutes left before Act II was to begin. I decided to stop by Adrienne’s dressing room. I felt she’d gone out of her way to make this an easy process for me out there, and I wanted to let her know I had noticed.

  The door was open so I poked my head inside. Adrienne was sitting at her dressing table as the show’s wig mistress made some final adjustments to Evan’s Act II hair. Ben was sitting on her couch laughing at something she had said. Adrienne smiled along with him.

  “Knock, knock,” I said quietly, not wanting to interrupt.

  “Well, well,” Ben said, “if it isn’t the next new Broadway starlet. You’re doing awesome out there, Jen. I’m seriously impressed.”

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “Now that we know you’ve got the nice girl thing down, I can’t wait to see you play the bitch in Act Two.”

  I laughed. He was right. My character showed her true colors in the second half of the show, giving me the chance to play the complete opposite side of the coin. It made the role of Alexis a lot of fun, getting to go from one extreme to the other.

  I turned my attention to Adrienne, who hadn’t said much since I’d entered the dressing room. “I wanted to say thanks, Adrienne, for going full force out there,” I said. “You went out of your way to make sure things went well for me. It made a big difference.”

  Her eyes left her reflection in the mirror and met mine warmly. “Nothing to it,” she said lightheartedly. “Besides, it turns out you’re not so bad at this whole performing thing after all.”

  “I better go get ready.”

  “See you out there.” Though I intended to dash out of the room, Adrienne’s smile in the reflection held me in place a moment longer than I meant for it to.

  “Right. Leaving now.” The adrenaline already in my system was now clearly in overdrive. I had to resist the urge to skip back to the stage. Life had definite possibilities.

  *

  It was a five-hour bus ride from Detroit to Chicago. Everyone seemed pretty low-key as the week before had been an exhausting one all around. We had been traveling for about an hour and I was getting restless. I looked around for Lanie and found her toward the back of the bus in the midst of a conversation with Ben. I knew better than to interrupt that coveted exchange.

  I located Adrienne sitting alone toward the front of the bus. She was staring out the window watching the world go by. I wondered what she was thinking about and wished I had courage enough to ask. We hadn’t talked much after that night on the street, other than the short exchange at the theater. I wondered where we stood. Almost as if she read my mind, she turned her head and smiled that smile that could end wars. I felt my breath catch. Adrienne inclined her head and raised her eyebrows, inviting me to move down the aisle and sit with her. I didn’t need to be invited twice.

  “So is this seat taken?” I asked, arriving at the vacant seat next to hers.

  “I was saving it for an up and coming young starlet, but I suppose you’ll do.”

  �
�Good thing.” I chuckled as I slid into the seat. “I was starting to get a little too introspective back there. Staring out the window for hours on end has a way of doing that to you. What do you do to pass the time?”

  “Well, I’m a list maker, so there’s always that. I also use the time to get my thoughts in order, organize my life a bit since it’s hard to do that in the middle of show week. I decompress, self-evaluate, compose e-mails to friends, relatives, and of course, my agent. Plus, I think about what’s going on in my life.”

  “Wow. That’s quite a lineup.”

  “Yeah, I suppose it is.”

  “So which of those things were you doing just now?”

  “Hmm. While that’s a little personal, if you must know, I was thinking about you in the first Alexis outfit in Act One.”

  My mouth went dry. “Really?”

  She nodded her head slowly.

  “And what’s the verdict?”

  Her mouth curled up into what appeared to be an embarrassed smile. “Let’s just say you get the full four stars.”

  I laughed and nudged her shoulder with mine. “Thank you.”

  She covered her face and shook her head slightly. “I cannot believe I told you that.”

  “Why? I’d like to hear more.”

  “I’m not usually that…blatant. You bring that out in me, I guess.”

  I took her hand. “That’s not a bad thing, you know.”

  “Get to know me a little more. You might change your mind.”

  “Doubtful. Wanna play I Spy?”

  “That depends on if you’re actually serious. I Spy, as in from fourth grade?”

  “Do I look like I would joke about a thing like that?” I said. “I happen to take my road games quite seriously.”

  “I can see that,” she answered, laughing. “All right, you’re on.”

  Several hours and multiple games later, we arrived at the Congress Plaza Hotel in Chicago only a little worse for wear. Right away my energy level changed significantly. The buzz of the big city was palpable and I could feel excitement coursing through my veins. As we made our way off the bus, I took a deep breath and smiled. Adrienne looked over at me and grinned back broadly. “Are you ready for this?”

  “Are you kidding? This is what I’ve waited my whole life for.”

  “Well, you couldn’t have picked a better place to debut. I have a feeling you’re going to like it here.”

  “I think I already do.”

  Everyone chatted animatedly as we walked up the steps leading to the hotel. I looked around for Adrienne at that point, but had somehow lost her in the shuffle of bags and the bustling crowd. I was disappointed I didn’t get to say good night, but reminded myself calmly I’d get to see Adrienne every day in the foreseeable future.

  After receiving my key from the tour manager, I headed up to the room that would be my home for the next two weeks. I hadn’t been in the room ten minutes when I heard a knock at the door. Figuring it was Lanie, I bounded to the entryway, still excited about my new surroundings. I pulled the door open and smiled when I saw Adrienne waiting there.

  “I hope I’m not bothering you. But we didn’t get a chance to say good night so I thought I’d stop by on the way to my room.”

  “Well, that’s incredibly sweet of you,” I answered, taking a step toward her into the hallway.

  “I also wanted to thank you for the company today. It made the time fly.”

  “That’s good news. I was worried you were still upset about your tragically poor showing in Twenty Questions.”

  “If you’d stuck to the rules,” she said vehemently, “I would have dominated that game and you know it. I see a rematch in our future.”

  I pretended to mull over that prospect. “Deal.”

  “In the meantime, young lady,” Adrienne said, as she backed up down the hallway. “Get lots of rest tonight and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  I nodded, taking her in. Her hair was pulled up in a haphazard ponytail. She was wearing the pajama bottoms and a T-shirt from the bus ride and was disheveled from the day of traveling. Somehow, she still managed to look utterly adorable. I took a breath and suppressed the undying urge I had to chase her down the hall for the kiss good night I so desperately wanted. Instead, I ran my hand through my hair and returned to my less than enthralling job of unpacking my life from a suitcase.

  *

  This was the day. Tonight I would take the stage for the first time in Clean Slate. The butterflies had already started. I was meeting Lanie and Georgette for breakfast before our sound check at the theater. As far as Adrienne was concerned, I had decided to turn over a new leaf as of that morning. I had to force her out of my head and focus on the bigger task at hand, my opening night.

  I arrived at The Little Red Hen at ten a.m. and was surprised to see Lanie and Georgette had already snagged a table in the outdoor area in front of the quaint little cafe. For once, Lanie was early. Now I knew she must be excited.

  They were sipping coffee and smiled at me as I approached. “Well, look at the early birds,” I said. “Can I take a photo of this moment? I’m not sure I’ll ever see this again.”

  I had a seat and opened the menu, my eyes zeroing in on the specialty espresso drinks. I was such a coffee whore. Normally, I relegated myself to a simple house blend, but on such a monumental day, I decided to indulge a little and go with the cinnamon roll latte.

  “How are you feeling about the big night?” Georgette asked.

  “Bring it on,” Lanie answered most assuredly. “I couldn’t be more ready to finally get going with this thing. Plus, Jenna’s a kickass Alexis and I’m going to love watching Sienna’s face when the audience goes crazy for her.”

  “I can only dream,” I said. “But seriously, I think the anticipation of finally starting in the show has gotten bigger than actually going on for the first time. Once that initial performance is out of the way, it’ll all be downhill. Now, if we could just skip today and get to tonight, I’ll be set.”

  Georgette patted my hand. “You guys have nothing to worry about. You should see some of the train wrecks I’ve seen put into this show before they were ready. Train wrecks! You’re both seasoned pros and everyone in the company has commented on it.”

  It helped to hear that. “So, Miss Elaine.” I couldn’t resist artfully changing the subject. “I noticed a rather lengthy conversation taking place between you and a certain handsome leading man yesterday on the bus. Care to spill?”

  She sighed. “Not much to spill yet. He’s the most attractive man I’ve ever laid eyes on. He’s funny, warm, and smart which, might I add, isn’t often the case with attractive guys.”

  “But?”

  “But my amazing ability to flirt hasn’t done much for me in this situation. He seems immune. He is straight, right?” she asked Georgette.

  “As they get,” she said. “He’s not the type to hop into bed with a girl on the first date. He’s got class. Just relax and get to know the guy better. There. That’s my brilliant advice,” she proclaimed, placing her hand on the top of Lanie’s head dramatically. She turned to me next. “What about you? I saw you, my dear, chatting it up with our resident celebrity yesterday. Are you riding off into the proverbial sunset?”

  “I wouldn’t say the sunset is in store, but I do like her. She seems like a good person and it certainly doesn’t hurt that she’s incredibly hot.”

  “Smokin’,” Lanie added.

  “Plus, she’s not interested in anything overly serious, which is probably for the best. I’m not sure it’s wise to get too caught up when you work together.”

  “Easier said than done, sweetie,” Georgette said. “Keep in mind most road relationships are short-lived, passionate, and trouble.”

  *

  After the sound check, I decided to relax at the theater before the show. I knew I was too keyed up to get any rest at the hotel so I staked myself out a couch in the greenroom and had a seat. I wished to God I had an orange to thro
w around, but instead leaned my head back and closed my eyes. Most everyone had left the theater in search of dinner before our call time, so I had the room mostly to myself, with the exception of a few of the crew guys getting the stage ready.

  I went through the relaxation exercises I’d learned in school and felt my body slowly begin to respond. I laid my palms face up next to me and imagined all the negative thoughts and emotions flee my body as I exhaled deeply. As I inhaled, I imagined nothing but light and positive energy entering my body and felt an enormous calming sensation start to take over. I made an effort to relax every muscle I had all the way to the roof of my mouth and chased all thoughts from my head. I must have stayed like that for forty-five minutes or so because I soon started to hear snatches of conversations as the company passed through the greenroom on their way to the dressing rooms. Everyone was nice enough to give me my space, which I appreciated.

  My relaxation came to end, however, when our assistant stage manager, Chloe, came over the backstage loud speaker. “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your half hour call. Thirty minutes to places, please.”

  I headed to the dressing room I shared with three other girls from the show. With each theater we traveled to, the dressing room situation would constantly change. I was told there would be times where all the girls in the show would share one dressing room, while other theaters were a bit more upscale, offering us multiple rooms to divide into. Regardless of the venue, however, it was an accepted fact that the stars of the show got the best digs, and it cascaded down from there. I wasn’t too terribly far from the top, luckily, and shared with just four girls, as opposed to the nine who were sharing down the hall.

  I walked over to the dressing table and mirror and felt my heart warm from the sight. It was overflowing with cards and small gifts from the cast and crew wishing me a great opening show. Lanie had left me a frame with multiple windows, each with a photo of the two of us at different points in our progress with the show. She left two of the windows blank for “the future of our amazing adventures together,” the accompanying card explained.