A Safe Place to Fall (Places Book 1)

by Barbara Doyle

  “That confident?” I questioned.

  “There’s nothing wrong about being confident,” he replied matter-of-factly. “In fact I think confidence is the sexiest trait in a person. What’s wrong with knowing that you look good?”

  “It makes you sound cocky.”

  “I can show you cocky,” he returned, tugging at his towel.

  “No!” I said too quickly, covering my eyes. “I don’t need to see your junk, Nate! Geez, I saw enough not even five minutes ago. Go put some pants on.”

  “It’s not about what you need, Blair,” he informed me. I put my hands into my laps and watched him move closer to me. With a smirk, he said, “It’s about what you want.”

  My mouth dried.

  “And what do you think I want?” I whispered.

  He leaned toward me, his lips brushing my ear. “I think we both know what you want. There are just some things that can’t cross a line. No matter how tempting they are to risk.”

  My eyes fluttered closed, and I hoped he couldn’t hear how fast my heart beat in my chest. The way his lips brushed my ear with every word he spoke gave me goose bumps. Did he know how he affected me?

  Before I knew it he was back at the door.

  “Nate,” I said quietly.

  He stopped before leaving.

  I let out a shallow breath. “Before my mom’s health started going downhill she told me that some things were worth risking if they meant enough to people.”

  He pressed his lips together for a moment.

  “Your mom was a wise woman,” he answered quietly. He looked away from me, and added, “But in this case I have to disagree with her.”

  I took my bottom lip between my front teeth and watched him walk away. Processing what just happened was difficult. He wanted me to think about his ass by bringing it up. Why? Just so he could tell me that whatever I thought didn’t mean anything? Guys who toyed with girls’ minds were messed up, and I never pictured him being the type to do that.

  I guess I was wrong. Again.

  My brother’s house smelled like chicken noodle soup and Vic’s vapor rub, and the mixture reminded me of all the times my parents used to take care of me when I was sick. Aaron even put out an eucalyptus candle like our mother used to do when our noses were stuffed. Everything about the moment reminded me of how great we had it before it went downhill.

  Most days I forced myself not to think about it. Aaron never liked me putting thought into our past because we couldn’t change it. He always told me that we needed to focus on our future instead, because we could do whatever we wanted with it. Deep down I knew that he was just like me though. He thought about our parents every single day. How could he just stop thinking about them like they didn’t matter?

  We had good memories among the bad ones. Of course the bad seemed to outweigh the good. There were times when our mom and dad would read to us as kids before bed. Dad would make up different voices for the characters he played as he read. Or there were the Sunday drives we used to take. We’d always stop at Stewart’s to get a snack and just sit and watch the traffic go by. During the winters we would drive around and see the Christmas lights hung up everywhere. Aaron thought that I only focused on the bad things that surrounded my past, but I liked to think about all of the good things I went through too.

  After our father died, Mom had a nervous breakdown. She got involved in things that messed her up more than she already was. It was like, without Dad, she wasn’t able to take care of herself. Aaron and I tried helping, but nothing ever worked. Eventually, it was like Nate was the only other person who could make things worth enjoying again. I was only ten when things got bad, but Aaron and Nate were two years older than me. They had a better grasp as to how serious the situation was. Neither one of them made me feel unsafe though. They both took my mind off of things until our grandparents stepped in as our guardians.

  I wondered if that was why I was so attached to Nate. He’d been a friend of the family since we were babies, but when I needed him he was always there. There was a point between my mother’s breakdown and my grandparents stepping in where Nate and Aaron were all I could depend on. That was why I trusted him so much. He knew the part of me that I didn’t let anybody know. Besides Sam, that was.

  It was hard telling her, because even though we were friends, I was afraid she’d bail on me. When Mom stopped taking care of herself it was like she left me behind. I had friends come and go all throughout my school career, and when Sam was there for me in high school I learned that I could trust somebody other than Nate. She knew everything like she lived through it with me. She promised she’d never leave, but she lied. Did she even remember the promise she made?

  “What’s with the face?” Katie asked in a raspy voice, as she dug out some of her vanilla ice cream with the spoon.

  I stared down at my bowl of ice cream and pushed my train of thought to the back of my head. Katie knew everything because of Aaron. She agreed with Aaron about me not focusing on the past, so every time he caught me lost in thought I always lied. There was other stuff going on that I could easily lie about without getting caught.

  “There’s a guy,” I admitted quietly.

  That perked her up enough to sit up on the couch. She pulled the blanket up so it covered her chest, and settled into the pillow behind her back.

  “What about a guy?” she pressed.

  “It’s stupid,” I replied with a sigh. “He acts like he wants to be something, but then he pulls away. He told me that some lines couldn’t be crossed, but that was after he asked me what I thought of his ass.”

  “What a tool bag,” she muttered. “He sounds like a total player. Do I know him?”

  “No,” I lied casually. “He’s just some guy at work. I thought that he was in to me, but he’s giving me mixed signals.”

  “What kind of signals?”

  “Well…” We almost had sex. “One time I was wearing a really cute dress that showed off my curves, and he practically devoured me. I mean we didn’t kiss on the lips, but he kissed my neck and almost did before he pulled away. He told me that we couldn’t be anything. Then earlier today he asked me what I thought of his ass, and he was totally flirting with me. Or at least I think he was. Then, after all of that he told me that some lines couldn’t be crossed.”

  Her eyebrows lifted. “When did you see him today? I thought you said you had the day off.”

  Shit.

  “I bumped into him on the way here.”

  It wasn’t until now that I realized how much I lied. There were some things better left alone. If Aaron found out I was talking about Nate, he would have a shit fit. The last thing I wanted was him to attack Nate over something that didn’t even happen.

  “What’s this guy look like anyway? Is he cute?”

  “He’s more than cute,” I answered honestly. I pictured Nate in my head, which I knew was stupid. I just couldn’t help it though.

  “Well then show me a picture!” she urged cheerfully. I hadn’t seen her so excited before. Now that she was married it was like any chance at looking at a hot guy was through my experiences.

  I gnawed on the inside of my cheek. How could I show her a picture of a guy that didn’t even exist? Showing her Nate was clearly out of the question, and there was no guy equally as hot as Nate at work.

  “Uh, I don’t have one.”

  “Does he have a Facebook? What’s his name?”

  “No,” I said nervously. “He’s kind of old school so he doesn’t have a Facebook. Or any type of social media. Sorry.”

  “Well a name would be good then.”

  “His name is…” I said the first name that popped into my head. “Josh. He’s very sweet, just confusing to read sometimes. It’s like he’s all in my head.”

  She laughed. “I totally get it girl.”

  She does?

  “Speaking of in your head,” she continued. “How has Nate been treating you? I’m sad that I can’t see you two bicker lik
e you always do. I swear sometimes I think he’s into you just by the way he hovers. I can’t imagine what living with him is like.”

  “You think he’s into me?”

  She nodded and rested her bowl on her lap. “At first I thought it was obvious, you know? He always looks after you like it’s his duty in life or something. I mean he was really angry when he found out what Zach did to you. Sometimes I think that it’s just a brotherly thing though. I mean he does kind of act like Aaron does when you’re around. Plus it’d be completely inconvenient for Nate if he did have a thing for you.”

  “Why?”

  She rolled her glassy brown eyes. “Aaron would kill him, Blair. We both know that your brother exceeds the protection border when it comes to you. If Nate ever tried anything on you Aaron would, like, shoot him.”

  I paled.

  It wasn’t like I hadn’t thought of that. She was right about Aaron being overprotective. Ever since the whole Zach thing, it’d become worse than it ever had when he was just protecting me from our mother. The idea of him knowing what almost happened with Nate was too much for me to think about.

  “Wait,” she whispered. “Nate hasn’t tried anything has he?”

  “No!” I said too loudly. I cringed at the sound of my own voice. “I mean he wouldn’t do that. He’s been very…respectful of my space since he told me I could stay with him.”

  She looked doubtful. “Really? Honestly, I was pretty surprised when he offered you the extra bedroom. He’s never let girls into his apartment. We all know how he hooks up. He always goes to the girl’s place so his remains unknown to the public.”

  I looked down at my melted ice cream.

  He never let anybody go to his apartment. He called it his man cave, which was strictly off limits to the female population. Everybody knew how he dealt with hook ups. He never invited them over, and he never stayed the night. She was right about it being a surprising offer, which made the fact that it happened so much more confusing.

  Did that mean that he looked at me as his sister?

  “Like you said,” I replied emptily. “He’s like the brother I never wanted. He probably feels bad for me, so he’s taking pity.”

  “He’s not the pity-giving kind.”

  “Well it seems that way to me,” I argued. “It doesn’t matter. I won’t be staying long anyway. I’m going to get the money to find my own place.”

  “I’m sure he’ll let you stay—”

  “I don’t want to stay!” I snapped. “Ever since I finally ended things with Zach, Nate has been on my case. He’s overbearing and annoying. He thinks he’s helping me, but he’s just suffocating me.”

  She looked sympathetic. “I get that you want to be your own person, but Nate just cares. We all do, and that’s why we can be overbearing.”

  I shook my head. “You guys aren’t as bad as Nate. Did you know that he followed me to work for a week and a half before he realized I wasn’t in danger anymore? A week, Katie! He followed me everywhere I went. Do you know how annoying that was?”

  She looked down, trying to hide a smile.

  “What?” I asked in exasperation.

  “I think it’s sweet,” she admitted, looking at me with a wide smile on her face. “Nate doesn’t care about a lot of people like he cares about you. We all know his story isn’t much better than you and Aaron’s, but he’s a great guy despite what he went through. The way he looks out for you is…something I’ve always wanted. Aaron does that for me, and that’s why I love him so much. He cares.”

  Was she implying that Nate loved me? She just told me that she decided he looked at me like a sister. I needed to talk to somebody who knew what they were talking about, because I was seriously confused.

  “At least he’s not as bad, right?” she said.

  I nodded. “Yeah he’s gotten better.”

  “That’s what matters,” she answered.

  “I guess,” I replied in a hushed murmur.

  Aaron walked into the room and sat down by Katie’s feet. He moved her legs so they were draped across his lap, and shot her a loving smile. I didn’t like admitting that I was envious of them, but I was. They were everything that every girl dreamed of having some day. It was pretty disgusting to watch.

  “What’d I miss?” he asked.

  “We were just talking about Nate,” Katie answered picking up her ice cream and spooning some out.

  Aaron looked at me. “Has he drove you crazy yet?”

  I smiled. “Not as much as usual,” I replied. “I think he’s going easy on me for now. I’m sure that’ll change if I stay longer.”

  “How long do you think you’ll stay?”

  I shrugged. “Hopefully not too long. I’d hate to feminize his man cave.”

  He chuckled. “I’m sure he’ll want his man cave back eventually, but he won’t rush you. He feels sorry for you for some reason.”

  I eyed Katie. “Told you so.”

  She swatted Aaron’s shoulder. “Don’t listen to your brother. He just doesn’t like the idea of you living with Nate given his reputation.”

  I mentally cringed. “What do you mean?”

  Aaron rolled his eyes. “We all know that he gets around, Blair. No need to act dumb. I just don’t like the idea he might rub off on you.”

  “And by rub off he really means has sex with you,” Katie intervened.

  Aaron deadpanned. “Nate knows better than to break the trust we have. I simply mean that I don’t want his reputation to start looking…good to you. I’m not worried about you two hooking up. I’m worried that you might think his lifestyle looks good.”

  “It still sounds like you’re worried he’ll try something with her,” Katie pointed out.

  “That’ll never happen,” Aaron stated.

  “Why is that?” she challenged.

  “Because I’ve talked with Nate about this a long time ago, and he knows that if he tries anything I’ll fucking kill the bastard.”

  “Geez,” I muttered to myself.

  “Plus, Blair isn’t his…type.”

  I stared at my brother. “What is that supposed to mean?”

  The only type Nate had was women who breathed, which meant I was his type. What? Just because I was Aaron’s sister meant that I was untouchable? I read plenty of novels that suggested otherwise.

  “Aaron,” Katie warned quietly.

  “I just mean that…you’re different.”

  Different how? Ugly? Not blond? Not a D cup? Nate didn’t have a certain type he hooked up with, but they were all beautiful. I mean you had to at least be attracted to the person you’d hook up with. It wasn’t like I expected my brother to call me beautiful, but it’d be nice to think I didn’t look like a cow to him.

  “How am I different?”

  He sighed heavily. “Blair, I didn’t mean it in a bad way. Okay? I just know what Nate’s into, and he likes girls that aren’t…”

  “Me?” I finished for him.

  He rubbed the back of his neck. “I know you used to have a crush on him, but—”

  “That was years ago, Aaron!”

  “Exactly,” he agreed. “So it doesn’t matter what he thinks now, does it? He just likes a certain type of girls. Let’s leave it at that.”

  “Just say it,” I snapped. “The pretty kinds? Older? Women that aren’t your sister and named Blair Summers? You know it’s a lot less offensive if you just say it rather than try bullshitting me.”

  I put my bowl on the coffee table and grabbed my purse from the kitchen. I refused to stick around and listen to my brother tell me that Nate thinks I’m unattractive. He clearly doesn’t know shit.

  “Blair, wait!” he called after me as I left through the front door. The screen door slammed shut, which I hadn’t meant to do. It did make things more dramatic though.

  Before I could get into my car, he grabbed the door.

  “I don’t understand why you’re so upset,” he told me, keeping a firm grip on the door. “What I said
wasn’t supposed to hurt you.”

  I glared at him. “You pretty much just informed me that you and Nate think I’m ugly. Why wouldn’t that make me upset? You two are supposed to be my friends.”

  “That’s not what I meant,” he insisted. “Blair, I was just pointing out that Nate has weird tastes in women. Since you don’t like him anymore it shouldn’t matter what he thinks.”

  So Nate did say something about me before?

  “It sounds like he had an opinion about me.”

  Aaron’s eye twitched. “It was back in high school. Does it really matter? A lot has happened since then, so who cares what he told me?”

  “I do!”

  “Why?”

  “Because…” I leaned my head against the head rest. “I don’t know why, Aaron. I just don’t like thinking that my friends talk about me behind my back. You know I had problems with that back in high school. Nobody liked me.”

  “You had Nate and me,” he disagreed.

  “Yeah, but you’re my brother.”

  “Well then you had Nate—”

  “Who thinks I’m ugly!”

  “He just said that I had nothing to worry about when I confronted him about his rep. I didn’t want him getting any ideas. We all hung out so much I was afraid that he’d try doing something with you. You were young and naïve, and he couldn’t keep his dick in his pants.”

  I stared at the steering wheel in silence.

  That was back in high school, so why did I feel like it still applied now? Maybe Nate was just still afraid that Aaron would do something. If he was warned away, there had to be a good reason why; some sort of suspicion that he had a thing for me to begin with.

  “You’re right,” I muttered. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve met somebody anyway who thinks I’m…great.”

  His eyebrows rose. “Really?”

  “Do you have to act so surprised?” I snapped in irritation.

  He tipped his head back and groaned. “It’s not that I don’t think you can find somebody. It’s just my job to disapprove of every guy that you get involved with.”

  I snorted. “That’s rich, Aaron. So you get the job as the overprotective asshole when it comes to guys I like, but I can’t do that with your old girlfriends? I recall a time not too long ago when I tried putting in my two cents with your psycho ex, and you shut me out. Why was that again? Oh yeah, because she kept telling you that I was talking trash about her. And what happened, Aaron?”