A Safe Place to Fall (Places Book 1)

by Barbara Doyle

  “You going to be okay?” I asked softly, trying to hide my irritation with her.

  She stopped crying. “Blair, I’m—”

  “If you’re going to say that you’re sorry, just don’t bother. I already know that you are, and it doesn’t even matter anymore.”

  She sniffed. “I don’t want any bad blood between us. We’ve been friends for too long.”

  My eye twitched. “Friends wouldn’t put each other through something like this. I get that you were in a situation that was difficult, but so was I at one point. I got through that. He’s in jail now. So why didn’t you come to me sooner? Why would you let this happen and drag me down with you? I was starting to be in a good place.”

  She started crying all over again.

  I mentally sighed.

  You’re being a hypocrite.

  I could have gotten her help too, but I didn’t.

  “It’s my fault too,” I admitted quietly. “If I went with my gut, I would have told somebody so they could help. I just didn’t want to admit that I needed it, you know?”

  “He’s not,” she said, leaving me confused.

  “What?”

  “He’s not in jail anymore.”

  Fear swept through my instantly.

  Sam’s eyes darkened through the sorry tears that leaked from them. “I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid of what you’d think. I—”

  I hissed, “How did he get out?”

  “Good behavior. Blair—”

  “How could you keep that from me, Sam? You know all the damage he did. I was so messed up after I found out he cheated on me. You have no idea what else I went through with him!”

  She stayed silent.

  “You have no explanation?” I pressed angry. “Do you really think that we can be friends after all of this is over? I’m in hell right now! For once in my life I was starting to get what I wanted, and now I’m back in misery. There are things I couldn’t tell you about when I was with Zach, and even after we broke up…”

  Then something struck me.

  “How did you two get in touch when he got out?”

  Sam looked away from me, which was a clear sign that I wouldn’t like the answer. It made me nervous to assume what she was hiding from me this time. I was sick of the lies. It was time she told me the truth.

  “Tell me,” I demanded. “You already ruined our friendship. There is nothing you can say that can make me trust you any less than I already do.”

  It was a harsh statement, but it was the truth. I only wanted to help her, and she shut me out. The drama she stirred by getting involved with this guy…

  I understood then.

  “You’re seeing Zach, aren’t you?” I accused, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach.

  “Blair, I can explain—”

  I covered my face with my hands, feeling the duct tape around my wrists tighten. I should have seen it sooner. The only thing I didn’t understand was how Zach even got involved with drugs. He never did anything when we were together.

  “Please,” she begged through her tears. “I just want you to understand that we never meant to hurt you.”

  “We?” I blasted.

  If I could stand up, I would. However, my ankles were taped to the legs of the chair I sat on.

  “Zach abused me,” I informed her coldly. “He yelled at me, hit me and tried to kill the baby that I was carrying when he got me pregnant. He pushed me down the stairs! The only intention he ever had was hurting me, Sam.”

  She was speechless.

  “Maybe you’ll never understand why I couldn’t tell you, but I don’t care. All you need to know is that he is never going to be a good person. Anybody who makes you stick around drugs is never under the best influence. Why would you do that to yourself? Why would you do that to me?”

  She opened her mouth, and then closed it.

  I shook my head, feeling my own hate-filled tears threaten to escape me eyes. “There is nothing you can say or do to make me even listen to your nonsense anymore. You are not the person I thought you were.”

  “He never told me about any kid.”

  “Does it matter?” I whispered.

  “If you have a kid then of course it does!”

  I glared at her. “I don’t have a kid.”

  She looked confused. “You said that he tried to kill it, but doesn’t that mean he didn’t succeed?”

  I didn’t say anything.

  “Did you…kill it?”

  Yes.

  I stayed silent.

  “You had an abortion, didn’t you?” she guessed.

  “Yes,” an unnerving voice stated from behind me.

  A hand touched my shoulder, churning my stomach as I realized who was standing behind me.

  I held my breath as Zach removed his hand from my shoulder and walked around to face me. He looked different since the last time I saw him. He was skinny—too skinny—and he had scruff lining his jaw like he hadn’t shaved in a couple of days.

  He still looked angry though. That hadn’t changed at all.

  “She killed my kid,” he told Sam, looking at me with vengeful eyes. I used to love beautiful light shade of green they were, but they never reflected his true personality. Those eyes hid the abusive, cheating liar that he was. They told a lie of their own.

  “You tried killing it before I even went,” I snapped.

  “That was an accident,” he said nonchalantly.

  My eyes narrowed. “I suppose the time you slapped me because I talked back to you was an accident too? Did your hand just happen to fall on my face? Did your hands just happen to fall on my shoulders?”

  He took a quick step toward me, which made me flinch back in my seat.

  He chuckled. “You never change do you, Blair?”

  I didn’t say anything.

  He walked over to me and ran his dirty finger across my jawline. He traced the edges of my face, and then moved toward my lips, tracing the bottom one.

  I sucked my lips in so he couldn’t touch them anymore.

  “What’s wrong?” he cooed. “Don’t you miss me touching? I recall a time when you used to like getting attention. You were quite the whore when it came to that.”

  I paled.

  Flashbacks of all the times he called me that rushed in my head. He loved calling me names. He loved hurting my feelings any chance he could. I was stupid enough to let him every single time.

  “Admit it, Blair,” he continued, running his fingers through my knurled hair next. “You missed me. I’m sure you were just…conflicted when you didn’t see me in jail.”

  He was trying to bait me.

  “Shy?” he asked, looking at the tips of my hair. “I never thought you’d dye your hair. You always said that you liked your natural black hair. Why red?”

  There was a long moment of silence.

  “I can become whoever I want when I dye it,” I finally answered.

  He smirked. “You mean you can pretend to be somebody else every time you dye it? I liked the blonde on you personally. It really showed just how naive you were after you called the cops that night.”

  I could hear my heart start pumping even quicker in my chest.

  He knew I was the caller.

  “You can dye your hair all you want,” he said, circling me. His hands traveled around my collarbone, then back through my thick hair. “Just understand that you will always be the same empty, useless person inside. Hair dye can’t fix that amount of damage.”

  I clenched my fists together.

  He stopped walking, standing next to me. “Al, can you take Sam to the back room? I’d like a few minutes alone with Blair.”

  I tried not to show my fear, but I was soaking in it.

  “Zach, please don’t do anything stupid,” Sam pleaded from the corner of the room. She was being stood up by Blondie, apparently named Al.

  Zach ignored her. “You’d like to have that talk, right? I’m sure you’re just dying to know how I managed to
become so much more powerful than I was with your sorry ass.”

  I clenched down on my jaw to keep from making a snide remark.

  Sam was dragged out by Al, leaving me alone with Zach. I didn’t look him in the eyes, because too many memories were stored there. I didn’t want to remember any more than I had to, but I knew he was going to make me.

  To distract him from bringing anything else up, I whispered, “How did you know it was me that called?”

  He snorted. “You were always weak. You could never fight your own battles because that narcotic brother of yours always did it for you. But do you know how I really knew it was you?”

  I stared at the floor.

  “You were always stupid too. Did you really believe that they would hold me just because you said that I hurt you? Baby, if I didn’t have pot on me when they arrested me, then they would have let me go then and there. Instead, they searched my house, found other drugs and put me away.”

  “I didn’t know you did drugs.”

  “I didn’t at the time,” he replied causally. “I was simply the dealer. You know what’s funny, Blair? When I went to jail, I met some very interesting people. In fact, one of them was so interesting, I started working for him. He allowed me access to drugs I could only imagine dealing when I was a teenager. When I got out for good behavior, I started working immediately. I gained his trust so he gave me more money than originally agreed on. The best part? He gave me the brilliant idea to get revenge on the bitch who put me in there in the first place. I should really be thanking you for everything that you did, but I like his idea better.”

  Goosebumps covered my arms at the chilling statement. What was he going to do to me? He already took so much from me to begin with.

  “I couldn’t just get revenge on you right away, could I? I needed something more fun to pass the time. Sam never stopped getting in touch with me, even after I was arrested. I saw my golden opportunity there. She’s almost as dumb as you are. She’d do anything for me, and she did.”

  Anger rose inside of me, but I held back from lashing out. I knew what he was capable of, and I wasn’t that dumb teenager he assumed I still was. I understood when to shut up and when to stand up for myself. Now was not the time to stand up.

  “She told you, didn’t she?” he asked next, leaving me in a pit of confusion. There was a lot she didn’t tell me, so he would have to clarify.

  “Tell me what?”

  “That it was her I cheated with.”

  I deadpanned.

  I should have known.

  “She didn’t,” he mused. “I would have figured after everything I put you through she’d finally come clean. I have to admit, she’s more evil than I am most days.”

  I shook my head. “She didn’t know what she was getting into.”

  He laughed loudly. “She knew exactly what she was getting into. She liked it. I told you, Blair. She did everything I asked her to just so I would keep her in my life. She’s desperate.”

  I wasn’t going to argue there.

  “So what now? Are you going to torture me? Make me be one of your very few bitches? I’m not really game for that anymore. I got smarter about who I get involved with.”

  “Like Nate?” he guessed.

  My eye twitched.

  “Was that supposed to be a secret? Your fantasy about being with him will never be reality. He may not hurt you now, but if he’s anything like me, he’s going to be tempted later. You bring out the worst in people. Your mother, for example.”

  That was a hard blow I could feel throughout my whole body. He knew how to get to me. He always knew, which meant that he had the upper hand on how to break me apart. Just like he did back then.

  “Don’t bring her up.”

  “Why not?” he pressed, leaning against the wall in front of me. “She’s family. She’s the reason you’re so screwed up, isn’t she? I mean you practically crawled to me when you were younger because you wanted an escape from that reality. I’m not wrong, Blair. You told me that was why you needed me in your life.”

  “That was a long time ago!” I pointed out. “I’m not the same person I was back then, Zach. Some people actually change. I did. But you? You’re the same asshat you always were. You’re just older and uglier.”

  He bolted toward me, slapping me across the face with all the force he had in his body.

  It took me a long moment to collect myself after the hit that left my face stinging. With that kind of force, I probably had his handprint engraved on my face.

  He got in my face, his nose almost touching mine.

  “Want to say that again?” he growled, pulling a knife out of his pocket.

  My eyes widened. “No,” I whispered.

  “Didn’t think so,” he returned, drawing back.

  I swallowed back the fear that traveled through my body, trying to block out the pain of my face. A hit like that made me remember just how terrified I was of him when I made him angry when we were teens. It made me wonder why I dealt with him so long.

  You didn’t know any better back then.

  Did I know better now? There were days I questioned my decisions, and for good reasons. I was sucked back into his life after all. I could have done something different to change where I could be right now, but I didn’t. I was being stupid just like I was when I started dating Zach.

  “You look scared, baby,” he noted calmly. He didn’t sound surprised, but…proud.

  Sick bastard.

  “Aren’t you going to say you missed me?”

  Silence.

  He narrowed his eyes. “You know that I can make you do anything I want, right? I was always stronger than you, but now I have more strength. I have connections. How else would I know your daily schedule? Who you talk to? Who you hang out with? I’ve got eyes and ears surrounding your every move. You’re mine, Blair.”

  “I will never be yours,” I hissed before I could stop myself.

  He laughed like that was the funniest thing he’d heard. “You were mine a long time ago, and that will never change. We had a baby together. We’re bound for life.”

  “We have nothing that binds us,” I said slowly.

  “Because you killed it!” he yelled, making me cringe in my chair.

  My heart raced in my chest as I waited for the next blow. When it didn’t come, I opened my eyes and looked at him for a quick moment. He was seething, clenching his fists at his sides and staring me down.

  He seemed angrier about losing a child that he didn’t even want compared to going to jail because of me. Why was he taking it so hard when he was so set on making sure I miscarried in the first place? He wouldn’t have been a good father…he never would.

  “I don’t understand why you’re so angry,” I told him through my shaken breaths. “You made a point about not wanting the kid, and there was no way I could have raised one so young. I didn’t know anything about being a mother, and I didn’t have a role model mother to help me.”

  He shook his head. “I would have helped you.”

  “You?” I doubted angrily. “Let’s face it, Zach. Neither one of us wanted that child. In the end it was always my decision to do what I felt was right. It wouldn’t have had a good life.”

  He stalked over to me, putting his hands on either side of the arms. His face was close to mine, but far enough away so I could see his green eyes darken.

  “Well we’ll have to work on another one then to prove that we’re capable.”

  What?

  Nausea swept through me.

  He actually thought I’d have sex with him? There was no way I was letting him to do that. Just the sight of him made me want to vomit my guts out. What he wanted couldn’t happen anyway. I ruined those chances when I decided on aborting my first child.

  Your only child.

  “Never,” I whispered.

  “Excuse me?” he snarled.

  “It will never happen.”

  He put his hand on my cheek. “Why do you sa
y that? Because you don’t want to? Is it because you’re afraid? You’ll adjust, baby. So will our child.”

  “You don’t get it,” I snapped, moving my face so his hand fell off of it. “I can’t have children, Zach. Ever. Something wrong happened during the procedure, and I will never be able to have kids. Even if I could, I would never let you become a father again. You don’t deserve it.”

  “You, bitch—”

  I closed my eyes to wait for the final blow, but instead I screamed when a loud gunshot went off in the backroom.

  Tears streamed down my face as Zach ran into the room where Al had taken Sam.

  Sam!

  What if…?

  All the sudden, Zach was yelling, “You crazy, bitch!”

  Something clicked. The safety maybe? And not long after there was another shot. And another. Every time a shot fired and echoed through the warehouse, I cringed, waiting for my turn to be next.

  I was going to die tonight.

  My body stiffened.

  I was going to die.

  I never really thought about death before. I knew it was only a matter of time before it happened. Everybody died eventually. Thinking about it just made it more real than I wanted to imagine. I used to think that I would die of old age after living a happy, successful life. After the experiences I’ve had so far, it looked like I was never meant to live like I believed I deserved.

  Aaron popped into my head, and instant tears sprang faster from my tear ducts. There had been instances in the past where I feared losing my brother. For a while, he continued to be involved in car accidents that could have killed him. Some were his fault and some weren’t. Each time I kept thinking about what it would be like if I lost him, and every single time the nightmare crossed my mind I lost it.

  Without him, I was nothing.

  So how would he react? He was never an easy person to read. He kept closed off for a good reason, and not even I could crack the code to understand just how he thought. Did he wonder what it would be like if I was gone? Would he miss me like I would miss him if anything ever happened?

  I whimpered uncontrollably when I heard footsteps come into the room behind me.

  I pictured Aaron and Nate staring at me, and all I could do is stare back like there was nothing I could have said. No goodbyes. No I-love-you. Just silence, because that was what death was going to be. A painful ending to a young life, and then…nothing.