Will to Love

by Miranda P. Charles

"What do you mean, maybe?"

  "Ok, yes, it has. I spoke yesterday to Faye about it. But then when I was in bed, I thought about my family and realised I'm still worried about what my family would think. You know they've been really worried about me when I told them I broke up with Daniel. Then they were really happy for me when I took you to the party. And then now I'm going to have to tell them I 'broke up' with you after only, what, a few days of us going out. With my track record, they'll be worried again and I won't hear the end of it."

  "Oh, Clarise, you really worry too much! But don't you see? It's actually perfect." Victor's eyes were now gleaming. "When they think we're not together anymore, Megan can continue whatever matchmaking scheme she has with you and William."

  "Will," Clarise said absently, following Victor's train of thought and seeing that things may not be so complicated after all. Why hadn't she thought of that?

  "Will what?"

  "Huh?"

  "You said 'Will'."

  "Oh! I think he likes to be called Will."

  Victor snorted, "Not by me, he doesn't. He said "William Matthews" with a look of hostility. I'll bet he was jealous of me."

  "How can he be jealous? He only just met me."

  "How can you be so taken by him? You only just met him."

  Victor had a point. Although Clarise refused to believe Will was jealous. Perhaps they did both feel attracted toward each other. And Clarise decided she wouldn't mind finding out whether that attraction was still as strong as it was last Saturday.

  "I wonder if he'll call about the article he wants for his business," she wondered aloud then gasped, sitting up straight on her chair. "You know what that means, Victor. If I have to work on an article for his business, I can't go out with him! That would be seen as compromising my objectivity and I can't have that."

  "Firstly, Clarise, no one who knows you would accuse you of not being truthful and objective with your reviews. Secondly, who says you can't go out with him? There are no official rules on that, they're just your own rules. And thirdly, if it would really bother you that much, just give the work to Jessa. Then you won't have that problem," Victor said emphatically as he finished his lunch.

  "Hmm, that's an option." Clarise was now starting to feel that there really are no barriers to seeing Will. Why could her friends see the open road when she could only see the roadblocks? She realised she may just be worrying too much, after all.

  She turned back to Victor, remembering Evan. "By the way, are you and Evan approaching serious territory? Should I brace myself for some announcement that my "ex-boyfriend" had turned gay and fell for my sister's brother-in-law?" She winced at the thought of the reaction that would get from her family.

  Victor laughed, "No need to shudder at the thought yet, darling. Evan and I are far from introducing ourselves to each other's families. Who knows where our relationship would lead but we're far away from that. We're just enjoying being with each other at the moment."

  Clarise sighed her relief as she finished her lunch. Then with flash of clarity, she realised she was envious of Victor's attitude towards his relationship with Evan. She could tell he really liked him, probably falling for him even, but he didn't seem worried or concerned about what the future held or getting his heart broken.

  Perhaps that's the kind of attitude I need to take, instead of worrying that my heart would be broken at every turn. Yes, that's it, she thought. And she had already made the promise to have fun, hadn't she?

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Will wanted to see Clarise again. Ever since Saturday night, he found himself thinking about her a lot, remembering their dance, the electricity that crackled between them, the way he felt as he held her, their mesmerising eye contact. He felt another tightening of his groin, something that had been happening a lot in the last two days whenever he thought of Clarise. Judging by the way she moulded with him during their dance, he knew their bodies fitted perfectly together.

  He shook his head in frustration. Damn it! Just forget about her already. She has a boyfriend. And even if she was single, she may not appreciate a casual relationship, he chided himself for what seemed to be the hundredth time since Saturday night.

  The office phone on the corner of his tidy office desk rang, startling Will out of his rumination. "Liz", he barked at his personal assistant, then realising his rather harsh tone, he added softly, "who is it?"

  "It's your mother on the line, Will."

  Will frowned with concern. His mother hardly called him at work unless it was some sort of an emergency.

  Taking the call, he said cautiously, "Hi, mum, what's wrong?"

  "Hello, darling, what do you mean what's wrong?" Ruth Matthews seldom called his son at work, knowing how busy he got, but she needed to let him know about this without delay.

  "Well... you hardly ever call me at work unless it's something really important."

  "Nothing's wrong, Will. Just because I hardly call you at work doesn't mean there's something wrong when I do, does it?"

  "I guess not," the smile in his voice indicating his relief. "So what's up, mum?"

  Ever since the terrible car accident his parents were in about fifteen months ago that left his father paralysed from the waist down and unable to work, he had been the worried and responsible son, looking after his parents in whatever way he could and supporting them financially. Things had improved a lot now that some time had passed. His dad, after a bout of depression, was slowly but surely on the mend. He had taken up painting and got inspiration from it. His mum was still the wonder woman, taking care of her husband with devotion and irrepressible belief that there was a reason for everything.

  "Are you doing anything this Saturday? Celia is inviting us for her 60th birthday party."

  Will groaned silently. Celia was his parent's neighbour. She had a daughter, Sarah, who had been interested in him for years. Now that he was single again, the two mothers seemed to be intent on getting their adult children together. If it's not my friends, it's my mother, he thought agonisingly about another matchmaking plan that involved him.

  "Sorry, mum, I've got something on that day," he lied.

  Will knew his mum worried about him working so hard and being alone. It had been nine months since Karen broke off their engagement and left him. His mum thought he hadn't been out on a date with anyone since then. Well, he had been. But the casual relationships he had were not something that warranted an explanation or even a mention to his parents. Or his friends for that matter. He didn't want them questioning or judging him about that. Or trying to fix him up with women who were after a committed relationship.

  "Well, what have you got on then, Will?" his mum demanded, correctly guessing that he was just making excuses to get out of going to the birthday party.

  "I've got some work to do relating to the Melbourne branch opening."

  "Will, you're always working," his mum said, concern evident in her voice. "You're only thirty-two. You need to also be enjoying yourself."

  "Don't worry, mum. I'm fine," he assured her.

  There was a long silence on the other end of the line.

  "Mum? Are you still there?"

  "Yes, darling," she said softly. "I just can't help but worry about you. Your business is doing really well now. We're financially stable, thanks to you. You don't need to work as hard as you do anymore. You know your dad and I will be fine. Please don't work so hard that you're not looking after yourself."

  "Mum, please. You know I enjoy my work. How's dad?" Will was desperate to change the subject. He didn't like it when his parents felt guilty about what he was doing for them. He was their only child. Who else would be there for them but him?

  "Oh, he's good. When you come visit you'll see the painting he just finished."

  "Good, I'll see you on Wednesday night."

  "You can come on Saturday instead, and go with us to the party."

  Will laughed. "Mum, I'll see you guys on Wednesday night. But you won't see me on Saturday
."

  A light on his office phone flashed, indicating another incoming call. "I gotta go, mum. I've got another call coming."

  "Okay," his mum sighed resignedly. "We'll see you soon. Take care, okay?"

  "You and dad, too. Bye, mum."

  ~~

  Will was delighted that his dad had finished his second painting. This one was a painting of a pumpkin, a banana and an apple on a dining table. It wasn't bad. Not at all bad from someone who just took up the hobby a mere six months ago. Six months ago, Bill Matthews was starting to recover from depression. He had gone a long way since then.

  Will followed his dad, letting him wheel himself on his wheelchair from his studio, a spare bedroom where he now paints, to the lounge room. His mum insisted that they enjoy their beer and watch TV while she prepared dinner.

  He studied his dad surreptitiously. His face softened at the sight of his dad's relaxed look while watching the evening news. For a while there, he and his mum worried that he was not going to get out of his deep depression that plagued him after the accident.

  Will settled back in his chair, his eyes on the TV but his mind elsewhere. That accident changed their lives and he still didn't know how much of it for the worse, and how much of it for the better.

  Before the accident, his dad was self-employed as an electrician and his mum worked as a bank teller. One night, as they were driving home from a rare short break in the country, the driver of an oncoming car lost control of his vehicle on a bend and slammed on the driver's side of his parents' car. His dad was driving and he was lucky to be alive. His mum suffered concussion and bruised ribs.

  They had to sell his dad's business, giving his parents some much needed funds for their medical needs and living expenses. Being self-employed and rather naive when it came to income protection, his dad didn't have the proper insurance that would have financially protected them after the accident.

  But the proceeds from the business sale was only small. It was never enough for them to live comfortably, especially since a bad investment decision with a ponzi scheme meant they lost their nest egg as well as racked up substantial business and personal loans. As his dad no longer worked and his mum had to quit her job to look after her husband, they were in danger of losing their house which was the security for the loan they couldn't repay if Will didn't help them. Plus they had their medical needs to also think about.

  Will's travel agency business was only less than two years old then. It was doing well enough to meet his personal needs and that of Karen's, his fiancee at the time. But supporting his parents and making sure they didn't lose their house meant cutting down or forgoing some of the luxuries he and Karen had become accustomed to.

  With pangs of guilt, it dawned on him how his parents worked hard to give him a good life. He realised it was his turn not just to support them with their immediate needs, but also to give them a better lifestyle than they have had. He saw how he was already leading a very comfortable life with Karen, travelling at least once a year with her and enjoying simple luxuries regularly. Yet his parents had never been on an overseas holiday nor did they indulge much in fine dining or other simple pleasures he had taken for granted.

  Something shifted in Will after that accident. His love and gratitude for his parents surfaced and his motivation to make his business not only financially stable but also very successful flared brightly with the intention of giving the two people who gave him life the life they deserved.

  Within a year, he had transformed a regular travel agency into a boutique travel service for clients who expected nothing short of exceptional but wouldn't bat an eyelid on five-to-seven-star travel prices. And that was exactly what his company gave its clients - exceptional service and exceptional experiences. And his clients didn't mind paying his exceptional fees. In just over a year, he was at a point where he could also take care of his parents' immediate financial worries. But he also wanted to ensure that they will be as comfortable as they could possibly be for the rest of their lives. That depended on the continued growth and success of his business.

  But success in that area came at a price. Will could only feel numbness now as he remembered Karen.

  She had been his on-again, off-again girlfriend for four years until that time when her two best friends got engaged within a week of each other. He felt the pressure from her and their mutual friends to propose.

  Their first few months of being engaged were good. It seemed to suit Karen really well and they hardly fought. What's more, her stunning good looks and vast network of friends helped attract some clients for his growing business.

  They were already engaged for two months when his parents had the accident. Since then, Karen had turned from a fun, sweet partner to a clingy, needy woman who demanded to be the centre of his world to the exclusion of all else. He still couldn't understand it. She had said she loved him so much that she was jealous of the time, love and care he gave to his parents. She kept on saying "what about us and our dreams?"

  He still remembered the massive argument they had when he cancelled their European holiday. His parents would have been fine without him for four weeks but he didn't really want to leave them by themselves when his dad was still recovering from depression. She accused him of not loving her anymore, of not focusing on their relationship anymore, of not having time for her anymore. He could see why she would think that. But his parents and his business came first.

  Two days after that argument, she walked out on him.

  That was when he made the commitment to himself to not even consider being in a serious relationship until he had achieved every one of his lofty business goals. He just didn't believe, especially after Karen, that a serious relationship suited him.

  But above all, he didn't want to be in a relationship that would give a woman the right to expect and demand to be his priority where more important things were at stake. Oh, he still craved for an attractive woman's company every now and again. But only for his physical needs without getting involved in a committed relationship. So far he hadn't had problems meeting women who only wanted sex and did not want emotional commitment. And it suited him just fine.

  "Will, can you help set the table, please?"

  Will mentally shook himself off his reverie and stood up to help his mum.

  At the dining table, Bill asked his son, "So are you dating anyone, Will? I hope you're out meeting nice girls instead of just working too hard."

  "Dad, you too? I thought only mum is nagging me with that," Will complained. Secretly though, he felt pleased his dad no longer seemed to brood within himself. Everything seemed to be getting better where his parents' mental and physical health were concerned.

  "Well?"

  "Well, no, I'm not seeing anyone at the moment."

  "You know Celia's daughter Sarah is still single too. She'll be at Celia's party this Saturday, of course," his mum said, casting a watchful glance at him.

  "Mum, I'm not interested in Sarah. I wasn't a few years ago, I still am not."

  "Forget I mentioned Sarah, then. Your dad and I are more worried about you being all work and no play. Why don't you come to the party, Will. Just to relax and have fun. You haven't been to a party for a long time."

  "That's not true, mum. I was just at a party last Saturday. And you know I play tennis regularly with a group of friends." Both his parents looked up, interested at this bit of personal information from their son.

  "Oh, that's good then, eh? Whose party was it?" his dad asked casually.

  "It was an engagement party of one of my tennis buddies."

  "An engagement party? Did you meet lots of new people?" His mum looked very pleased with the thought.

  "Yes, mum, I met lots of new people." And a very attractive woman whom I want to see again - but only for business purposes. He made a mental note to call the magazine tomorrow to arrange a meeting with Clarise as soon as possible. Just for business purposes, he again said to himself. And, okay, to satisfy my eye-lust
and feed my fantasies. He was convinced she was still off-limits beyond that.

  "And?" Ruth continued to prod her son.

  "And, that's it, mum," he shrugged.

  Ruth pursed her lips but didn't continue with her line of questioning.

  "So, how's the business going?" Bill asked.

  Ah, back to comfortable topic, Will thought with relief.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Clarise's heart skipped a beat. There it was on her online diary. A meeting with Will Matthews on Friday at 11:30 am. That's tomorrow!

  She stared at her laptop screen, chewing the end of her pen. Well, she would definitely be seeing him again. She sighed, thinking about her next steps with a mix of trepidation and excitement. They will be the boldest moves she, Clarise Carson, had ever made when it came to men. She knew her plans were nothing to women like Faye, but for her, they were big.