Will to Love

by Miranda P. Charles

  "Yes, I'll ask them. I'm sure they'd love to help. And don't worry. Everything will turn out well."

  "Yes, thank you. Okay, you guys enjoy your pizza. I'm now going home to my fiance and have dinner with him."

  The pizza delivery guy buzzed just as Megan was leaving.

  "So who was that caller who wanted to talk business with you on a Sunday afternoon?" Victor asked Clarise as he started to devour his pizza.

  "Will." Clarise tried but failed to hide the hurt look on her face.

  "Oh! What happened, darling?" Victor asked, concerned.

  Clarise told him the whole story including how she thought Will had the nerve to sound angry and hang up on her. "Well, I'm not as his beck and call when he wants sex. I'm not putting up with it anymore!" She felt the tears rise up to the surface again.

  "So let me get this straight," Victor said calmly. "First, he was pleading to see you today."

  "Well, he said 'please', so I guess you could say he was pleading," she said sarcastically.

  Victor rolled his eyes. "Then he said 'fine' angrily and hung up on you when you said you were busy doing something with me and Megan."

  "Yes. I mean...seriously, how dare he think I'll just drop everything to see him?"

  "What exactly did you tell him?"

  Clarise pushed down her anger brought about by hurt and thought for a second. "Well, I said to him I had to go because I was working with you and Megan on this fund-raising invitation."

  "Were you still on the phone when I called for you?"

  "Yes."

  "Hmm."

  "Hmm, what, Victor?"

  "Have you told him I was never your boyfriend? That I'm gay?"

  Clarise stared at Victor. "What are you saying?"

  "Well, sounds to me he might have gotten upset that your 'ex-boyfriend' was here. He obviously wanted to come and see you, then he discovers I'm here and you refused to see him. I'll be jealous and downright angry, too, if I was him. I wonder if he heard me call you 'darling'?"

  Clarise gasped. "No. That can't be why he got angry."

  "Why not, Clarise? What other explanation could there be?"

  "He wanted to break up with me. Why would he care that you were here even if he thought you were my ex? Unless, of course, it was his ego that got hurt."

  "Look, it's not that I want to give you false hope, but if you were agreeing to break up with him over the phone, why did he insist on seeing you and talking things through in person? If he was keen on breaking up with you, I would have thought he'd be relieved that you were making it so easy. But he wanted to see you and talk - not listen to your break-up speech."

  Clarise felt a little stirring of hope. Could Victor be right? Did she dare hope? Well, it was a possibility...

  "So what do I do now?"

  Victor shrugged and smiled at her. "I guess you'll need to talk to him. Find out what he really wants."

  "Okay, I'll do that. I'll call him tonight." Clarise nodded, feeling fearful and determined at the same time.

  "You know, right now, I'm so proud of you. You're not hiding or running like you used to do." Victor said fondly.

  Clarise gave him a tight smile. "I still want to just run and hide. I'm not used to going where there could be pain. But...there's a little part of me that still hopes." Her eyes misted as she whispered, "I love him. I've never felt like this before." That was true. Her feelings for Nick felt like puppy love compared to what she felt for Will.

  Victor walked towards her and gave her a comforting embrace. "Oh, darling, everything will be fine. And whatever happens, you know I'll be there for you."

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Clarise held her phone against her ear, as she listened to Will's phone ring. She was a bundle of nerves, her palms sweaty, but she was eager to talk to him. Looking back, she thought he did sound pleading when he said he wanted the two of them to talk. She entertained the thought that maybe she jumped to conclusions about him wanting to break up.

  Maybe I did. Hopefully I did.

  Then she heard his voice and her heart dropped to the floor. It was his recorded voice. He didn't pick up and it went to voicemail.

  Did he do that on purpose?

  She stammered her message after the beep. "Hi, Will, it's Clarise. Umm, I'm sorry I...I didn't mean to...I mean...I really want to talk to you, too. Please call me?" The last three words came out almost as a whisper, beseeching.

  There was nothing else for her to do but wait. And hope some more.

  ~~

  Will heard his phone ring from the bathroom as he was brushing his teeth. It was probably Rob, he thought. Rob and Andrea were planning to visit Sydney in a couple of weeks or so.

  But he didn't want to talk to him or to anyone. All he wanted was... He looked at himself in the mirror and anguished eyes stared back at him. What exactly did he want? He felt empty inside - apart from the gnawing ache in his heart.

  I want Clarise. Just Clarise.

  There. He'd acknowledged it to himself. So what should he do now? What could he do? Somehow he had to win her back. Damned if he'd let Victor have his way with her. He would fight for her.

  He walked back to his bedroom, deep in thought. Absently, he checked his phone to ascertain who had called him earlier. Clarise! And she left a message.

  Will nervously checked his voicemail, cursing himself for not running for the phone when it rang. His heart thundered in his chest as he listened to her words and tried to read between the lines. He called her back straight away.

  "Will?" Was that relief she heard in her voice?

  "Hi, baby," he said softly.

  "Hi," she responded after a beat. And he thought he heard a smile there, too.

  Imploringly, he asked, "Can we talk tonight, Clarise? Can I please come over?"

  "Yes, please."

  There was something in her voice that made the tension in Will's body dissipate along with his sigh of relief.

  "I'm leaving now. I'll see you soon." His voice was husky.

  "Okay. See you soon," she answered softly.

  ~~

  Clarise's heart jumped at the sound of the buzzer. He's here!

  "Will?" She asked as she pressed the intercom.

  "That's me!"

  She smiled at his surprisingly playful tone and let him in the building.

  Upon his knock, she opened her door and smiled at him shyly, unsure of what was to transpire.

  As he walked in and closed the door behind him, Clarise stared at the handsome face of the man she had fallen in love with, drinking him in. Oh, how I missed you!

  Will stood still in front of her. She still had the same effect on him. She still made him gawk at her lovely, guileless beauty. His heart swelled, this time knowing how he really felt about her. He walked towards her, his eyes searching hers and found something there that touched the very core of his heart.

  "Clarise," he whispered as he cupped her face with his hands, his thumbs caressing her cheeks.

  She sighed at his touch and gave him a heart-stopping smile, her eyes looking up at him with naked emotion.

  Will groaned softly, and in the next instant, they mouths met hungrily. Clarise's hand raked Will's hair, as her body pressed closer to his, wanting to feel more of him. Will moved his hands to her back, feeling her, caressing her and trapping her within his fervent embrace.

  Their kiss spoke eloquently the longing, the passion and the relief they were both feeling in that special moment. A short while later, they came up for air, both breathing heavily. Will pressed his forehead against Clarise's and touched his nose against hers, their hearts unconsciously mending from their sweet reunion.

  "I missed you so much." Clarise breathed.

  "Oh, baby, I missed you, too."

  They held each other for a blissful moment then Clarise gave Will a quick kiss and pulled away. "Do you want something to eat or drink? I have left over pizza."

  "Is that what you had for dinner tonight?"

  "Yep. Wha
t did you have for dinner?"

  "Nothing. I wasn't really hungry."

  "Oh, you should have dinner. Do you want the pizza then? It's Super Supreme. It's good," Clarise said as she took Will's hand and led him to the kitchen.

  "I'd rather have Super Clarise. That's much, much better."

  "Will!" She turned to him with a laugh. The hungry look in Will's eyes made her breath quicken. She knew his hunger wasn't for food but for her. Oooh, I'm hungry for you, too!

  She was sorely tempted to launch herself at him. But they have to talk first. She still needed to clarify the status of their relationship - and let him know she didn't want to be just a casual sex partner. Yes, he obviously wanted her and missed being with her, but she needed more from him. She needed commitment.

  The thought of their impending discussion doused some of Clarise's ardour, and a feeling of apprehension crept in.

  "I think we need to talk first, Will, while you eat some dinner. I'll heat up some pizza for you."

  As Clarise took the pizza box from the fridge and opened it, Will realised he was famished.

  He gently ran his hand up and down Clarise's back as she put some pizza on a plate. "Did you only eat one slice?" He noticed that the box was still full apart from one slice missing.

  "No, we finished another box."

  Will's caressing hand stilled. "Oh, you mean you and Megan and Victor?" His voice was lower and somewhat colder.

  "Just me and Victor," Clarise replied as she popped his dinner in the microwave. "Megan went home to have dinner with Rick." Will dropped his hand to his side.

  Clarise spun around to face him. "I want to talk to you about Victor, and about something else," she said softly as she placed her hand on his arm.

  Will didn't say anything. His face was impassive and his eyes were bleak.

  Clarise put her palm on his cheek. He pulled her hand down, squeezing it tight.

  "Clarise, right now, I'm wracked with jealousy. Why do you have to invite him here? And why do you allow him to call you 'darling'?" he asked rather fiercely. "It's bad enough you work together."

  He is jealous! Joyous warmth flowed through Clarise at that confirmation.

  "I promise you'll like what I have to tell you about Victor," she said, smiling up at him placatingly as she put her arms around his waist.

  He took a deep breath and rested his hands on her waist, slightly mollified. "You said there was something else you also wanted to talk about. Would I like that, too?"

  Clarise drew back and looked anxious all of a sudden. "I don't know. I hope so. We'll talk after you eat." She gave him a small smile as she went back to the microwave.

  Will's curiosity peaked. He couldn't wait to hear what she had to say.

  They sat on the couch as Will wolfed down his pizza.

  "You're really hungry. Why didn't you have dinner earlier?"

  Will looked at her as if she should know why. "You better make good on your promise that I'd like what you'll say about Victor. I know what I want to hear."

  Clarise thought there was definitely something different about Will tonight. He was acting like a real boyfriend. A jealous, possessive boyfriend. And she liked it.

  She wouldn't start talking about Victor and that 'something else' until he had finished eating. She wanted his full, undivided attention. She watched him eat in record time and smiled at him indulgently.

  "There, finished. Thank you for dinner," he kissed her forehead as he stood up. "Let me put this on the sink and wash my hands first then we can talk."

  He was back a minute later. He sat with a leg folded on the couch so he was facing her, and rested an arm on the back of the couch. "So, where do we start?" he queried.

  "Okay. About Victor," Clarise started. This part she was looking forward to telling him. She couldn't wait to see his reaction. Feeling lighthearted, she thought she'd play with him for a little bit.

  She continued, "First, you said you know what you wanted to hear. What do you want to hear?"

  He stared at her for a moment, wondering where she was leading to. Then, with an earnest gaze that made her warm all over, he told her, "I want to hear you say that he doesn't mean anything whatsoever to you, that all the interactions you have with him are strictly work-related and he is not allowed, I repeat, not allowed to call you 'darling'," he said, impassioned, as he leaned closer to her. "I should be the only one allowed to call you that," he added petulantly.

  Clarise gaped at him, stunned by his intensity. Wow! He really is jealous of Victor. Her heart thundered madly with joy and elation.

  "So, what do you have to say?" he asked quietly with a small, anxious smile on his face as he caressed her cheek with his knuckles.

  Clarise smiled enigmatically.

  "Well, Victor's a very good, very dear friend of mine so it will be impossible to limit our interactions to work-related matters only. And I don't think I can stop him from calling me 'darling'."

  Clarise's thoughts went to Victor as she fondly remembered how her wonderful friend saved the day for her. If it wasn't for Victor, she would probably still be avoiding Will and they wouldn't be together tonight. She was very grateful to her friend.

  Will saw the look of affection on Clarise's face as she talked about Victor. That she had feelings for him - current and strong - were obvious. She's still in love with him?

  He involuntarily took a sharp intake of breath as he felt stabbing pain attack his heart and ripple throughout his whole body. Once again, he was taken aback by the strength of his feelings for her. How could he feel so much pain at the thought of her still being in love with her ex? With anybody else?

  Clarise noticed his silent anguish. It was evident on his face and the tension on his body.

  Oh, no.

  Clarise felt guilty even though she didn't mean to hurt him. She moved so she was kneeling on the couch, fully facing him. She put a hand on his upper thigh, leaning slightly on him as she cupped his cheek with her other hand.

  Will didn't move. His face was impassive but the stricken look in his eyes betrayed his emotions. A squeezing pain kept kneading his heart, choking him, preventing him from talking. You still love him?

  Clarise continued softly, contritely. "But, you shouldn't worry about Victor. You see, he's gay."

  Will stared at her for long seconds, not instantly comprehending what she just said.

  "He's what?" His voice was disbelieving.

  "He's gay."

  "Gay?" Will asked as if he didn't know the meaning of the word.

  "Yes, gay," Clarise answered, amusement taking over worry.

  "Gay," he repeated. "As in he-prefers-men-kind-of-gay?"

  "Yes."

  Understanding dawned and he narrowed his eyes at her. "You, little minx," he growled. "Do you know what you just put me through?"

  He lunged at her, pushing her down the couch and shifting them so she ended up flat on her back with him on top of her. Clarise couldn't stop the giggle of happiness that escaped her.

  Will buried his face in her neck. "Clarise, that was mean," he admonished her, his voice full of emotion. He'd never been this emotional before. And he couldn't stop it.

  Clarise was immediately chastised by his words. His hurt tone tugged at her heart. "I'm sorry, honey. I didn't mean it. I'm just..." She was lost for words, her heart overflowing.

  She kissed his hair and caressed the nape of his neck and his back. Will lifted his head and gently touched her lips with his briefly and started to get up.

  But it wasn't enough for Clarise. Quickly, she pulled his head down for a much deeper kiss. Will willingly obliged.

  Their tongues tasted and teased as they gave way to their passion. Will sucked her bottom lip and ran his tongue on its softness, making Clarise moan softly. She felt her desire rapidly escalate. She clutched him tighter and arched her body towards his. Will let out a low growl as he ground his hips against hers, letting her feel his burgeoning need.

  "Baby, we're not done talking an
d you're distracting the hell out of me," he croaked as he raised his head to look at her.

  "I can't help it," she said bashfully, stroking the side of his face.