A Billy or a Dan, or an Old Tin Can

by Paul Kelly

  Chapter Forty

  Meggie hurried to the car as Tom put her luggage in the boot. She was already late for her train, but Tom knew he would make it if he drove a little faster.

  The last moments with the family had been precious to Meggie as she did not know when her next leave would be, or indeed when she would be coming back to Scotland. Her sadness at leaving them all was stemmed only by the anticipated joy of meeting George Ambrose again, even if it would only be for a week before her Draft was due to leave from Southampton, so with the tearful good-byes over, she sat in her place on the train, having caught it with only seconds to spare, reflecting over the events of the past few weeks. She thought of Sadie and Fiona and she hoped they would be alright. She knew it must be hard to bring up a baby on your own. Mammy would help, of course and so would dear, sweet Aggie, but it must still be hard, she thought, when there is no father to help, by just being there. She still wondered who the father of Fiona might be, but Sadie was very determined to keep her secret to herself and no-one was going to drag it from her and as the train sped on fast, through the night, Meggie dropped off into a deep sleep.

  ***

  Lindsey and Willie had been seeing each other over the past few weeks and he continued to hope for the better weather so that he could get that long desired tan all over. If only he could get that, he considered he might not be so bad looking, after all, but Lindsey Peters didn’t think in any way, the way he did ... She thought Willie was the most beautiful person in her life.

  ***

  “Rachael and I are going to a dance of Wednesday evening, Willie,” Charlie announced in a matter-of-fact manner as he sat on the edge of the scaffolding, scraping his working boots of the clay that made them pounds heavier than they were. He looked down from where he was sitting and wiggled his toes in his socks. “Would you like to come and bring Lindsey?”

  “I’m not sure if she isn’t working that evening Charlie, but I’ll ask her,” he replied.

  “She’s a nice girl, Willie. Are you serious about her?”

  Willie wanted to say, ‘Yes’ but his thoughts turned to Rachael and he knew there was an uncertainty as long as she was around. He could not get Rachael from his mind and even when he was with Lindsey, he was thinking about Rachael. He knew the impossibility of it all, but the truth hurt and he couldn’t avoid that. He would look at Rachael and she would GLOW when everything else around her, above and below her would appear DIM

  “Yes Lindsey is a nice girl, Charlie,” was the only answer he could give and Charlie came down from the scaffold and left the Site as Willie went to take his tools along to the Foreman’s office.

  “Willie Willie Blair,” someone called out from the distance. He looked across, over the rubble and saw someone waving at him. He narrowed his eyes in the glare of the sun.

  “Hello Wattie. What are you doing here ... It’s very nice to see you.”

  Willie could not believe his eyes. Wattie, his good friend, had discarded the spectacles and had done something to his hair. He looked different ...better somehow and even his voice didn’t sound the same. He was dressed nicely in a neat fitting suit and his shoes shone as they had never ever done before, since Willie had known him. Willie was mystified and curious about his old school friend, who only a few months before had a permanent hard-gloss sleeve,

  “Are you working here then, Willie?” Wattie asked and Willie looked down at his own working boots for a second. They were covered in dust and sand.

  “Yes. I’m working with Charlie for the next few months and then I’m being transferred to another Site in Clarkston after that. What are you doing, Wattie?” he asked and Wattie looked around proudly.

  “I’m working at Russell’s ... you know the men’s wear shop in the High Street. What do you think of the suit, Willie? Nice isn’t it and no coupons either.”

  Willie admired the attire and more especially his friend’s new image. He almost envied Wattie ... His appearance was so different and then Willie looked down at his own old worn and tattered trousers and grimy shirt ... He wanted to look at his finger nails but he refrained. He didn’t want Wattie to see him doing that, even if he knew what he would find. Hard dirt under his nails and even harder calluses on his hands, nevertheless, he shook hands with Wattie as he left the Site.

  Wattie turned down the road and disappeared as Willie came to the Foreman’s office door.

  He stood for a moment before going in and raised his left arm as he sniffed.

  “Gawd I’ll have to do something about this,” he moaned.

  ***

  Tom was teaching the boys to drive and occasionally allowed then the use of his car when he was with them, of course and they had their ‘L’ plate stuck in the rear window. Willie dreamed of having a car of his own but he knew it was out of the question well he would have to make his first million first.

  “Time will fly, Willie and you’ll soon have a car of your own, just you wait and see and now that you’re a working man well .” laughed Tom as they sped along breezily out into the country, away from the Glasgow grime and headed towards Eaglesham.

  The car was rather crowded, but the company was happy and they all squeezed in together. There was Mary and Willie in the back seat, together with Lindsey and Rachael, whilst Charlie sat in the front with Tom.

  “What a beautiful day for a picnic,” said Mary as she gazed out at the passing green fields, from the car window. She was a stranger to this way of life, but she was beginning to enjoy it very much. They drove on for a long time before Tom came to a halt and announced that they had arrived. The scene was one of great beauty and there was a little valley ahead, in the field where they had anticipated having their picnic. The girls stretched themselves as they tumbled out of the car and the boys got the hamper and baskets from the boot. The weather was behaving wonderfully well and Willie hoped it would continue like that for some time. He still hadn’t got his tan ... however it was hard to believe that there was a war on as he listened to the chatter and carefree laughter of the girls. It seemed to be infectious, one to the other. Charlie took Rachael’s hand and she knew from the look in his eyes that he wanted her to follow him up the hill, where they could be on their own. They left the party as Willie looked on with avid curiosity as Mary was talking to Tom about her usual subject Baby Fiona. Lindsey Peters had eyes only for Willie as he sighed deeply and looked at the green grass, as he lay cross-legged and pulled a blade carelessly from the ground.

  “Penny for them, Willie,” she whispered.

  He did not hear her and she spoke again, adding a gentle little cough, but with the same response. She looked to the sky and waited . but Willie was absorbed in his grass eating.

  “There’s a large tree on fire over there, Willie.”.”

  He came out of his trance in a second.

  “Where ...Where ... Where is the fire?”

  Lindsey looked deep into his eyes as he sat up with his eyes ablaze and she smiled provocatively.

  “Right deep down in my heart,” she replied and took his hand, “Here Can you feel it beating?”

  Willie smiled and pinched her nose playfully as he looked towards the hill, but there was no sign of Charlie or Rachael. He stood up and dusted his trousers as the grass blades fell in soft green fingers to the ground and he looked around hoping he might catch a glimpse of the wanderers, but they were nowhere to be seen.

  “Want to go for a walk, Willie?”

  Lindsey rose to stand beside Willie as she spoke.

  “Yes Sure O.K.,” he said and made towards the direction of the hill.

  “No ... Let’s go this way,” she suggested as she drew him in the opposite direction and he followed, looking back for a sight of Charlie from time to time.”

  ***

  Charlie sat down in the meadow with a hard plunk and Rachael laughed.

 
“Hope no cows have been in here,” she said, but he only laughed and held out his hand for her to join him. She touched his eager fingers and slid down by his side.

  “I can’t kiss you standing way up there, can I?” he said and stroked her cool cheek. Rachael closed her eyes and the smell of the clean, clear country air filled her nostrils.

  “I could stay here forever,” she moaned as she kicked off her shoes.

  “So could I if you stayed with me,” he replied.

  “Charlie ...” Rachael wanted to say something but he put his finger to her lips.

  “Just you lay still there, Darling ... Just lie there and let me look at you.” he said and she smiled.

  “You are a romantic, Charlie Blair. Do you know that?”

  “Yes, but only where you are concerned,” he grinned, “I would never say that to any other person, would I?”

  Rachael looked around. There was a hint of innocent suspicion in her eye.

  “There is only Lindsey here so ...”

  “I wasn’t thinking of her, Darling.”

  “Well WHO then?”

  “Well I could never say lovely things like that to Tom or Willie for example, Honest, I wouldn’t.”

  She laughed and a dimple appeared on her left cheek as he tickled her chin and she touched his mouth with her fingers. He pecked her nails and she giggled.

  “I could eat you, my Love,” he said and she put her head down on his chest where she could hear his heart beating loudly.

  “You get me excited when I hear your heart beating like that, Charlie.”

  “I have other throbbing parts if you want to have a look,” he grinned and his eyes clouded over with passion.

  “I’ll tell your Mother,”

  “She already knows about all my throbbing parts. She won’t mind.”

  “So she encourages you to be what you are, does she?”

  “She loves me, that’s why ...Do you love me, Miss Harris?”

  He put his hand on her wrist as he spoke and his face took on a look of tenderness as he gazed into her lovely eyes. She looked back at him and replaced his hair as it fell over his forehead.

  “I’m not sure,” she mused.

  Charlie put his arm around her and drew her close as he whispered in her ear, but she smiled and pushed him away.

  “You are naughty, Charlie Blair ...Very naughty.”

  “I know, but you’d like it.”

  He kissed her slowly and she could feel the ardour in the intensity of their emotions. He moved his mouth round to her neck and kissed her again, before he returned again to her mouth and warmed her lips with his pleading desire.

  “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you, Charlie boy,” she jibbed.

  “I could make a suggestion,” he offered.

  “Yes, I’m sure you could,” she answered but Charlie stopped her saying any more as he leaned forwards with a kiss and then another

  “You’re getting too excited I think we had best get back to the party.”

  “Spoil sport,” he moaned as he rose and helped her to her feet.

  ***

  “The youngsters seem to be enjoying themselves don’t they Mary?” Tom yawned as he spoke and rolled over on the grass. Mary shielded her eyes from the sun with her hand.

  “Can’t see them anywhere, Tom, but I’m sure they can’t be far away.”

  “Never mind them. I’m sure they are happy wherever they are and whatever they’re doing. Let them do their own thing. They’re young and you’re only young once yes?” Mary closed her eyes to reflect on what he had said. “Are you happy, Mary?” he went on, “I mean, have you any regrets about marrying me?”

  Mary looked shyly at him and took his hand in hers.

  “My cup runneth over Tom Carey ...”

  Tom kissed her lightly on the forehead and she closed her eyes again.

  “Have you any regrets, Tom,” she whispered.

  “Only that I didn’t meet you long before I did. You know, Mary The first day I met you. I mean really met you although, of course, I had seen you many times before, it was that morning in my shop doorway I knew then what you were feeling. I don’t know why, but I knew. I wanted so much to assure you of my understanding and I didn’t know how to do that either. Then I would look at you, morning after morning when you would pass my shop hoping I would find you crying on my doorstep again. I love you so much, Mary. I love everything about you. ...Your smile, your face when you’re happy and even when you’re sad everything and every way. I love the children, too. The boys make me feel young again and the girls make me feel like I did when I was young again” he laughed as he took both her hands and held them in his own. “Mary you have given me back all those years in my life that I missed because of the way things were. I thank God for your love and I swear on this beautiful summer day that I’d rather die than offend you in any way.” He kissed her tenderly and held her close. He was young again ... Mary was young again ... and life was for living.

  “Mary?”

  “Yes Tom?”

  “We never did go to that dinner and dance, did we?”

  “No we didn’t Tom and oh! ...that reminds me ...”

  “What’s that Mary?”

  “I didn’t give you the money back that you gave me for that dress, remember?”

  “I remembered, but I didn’t like to remind you,” he giggled as they rolled over on the grass.

  ***

  Lindsey sat down on a tree trunk that lay across the field by the footpath.

  “I’m tired,” she said, “Can’t we sit down for a while, Willie?”

  Willie joined her, chewing at a daisy stem, as he squinted up into the sunlight. “Can’t you come any closer Willie ...” she whispered and he moved nearer, still chewing ...

  “You’re not very romantic, are you, Willie Blair?”

  Willie looked at Lindsey and stroked her hair. He put his cheek to hers and she could feel the excitement as he breathed into her ear, but his thoughts were elsewhere as he stared into the horizon. She took his hand and rested it on her shoulder as she pressed her lips against his arm before she brought his lips down to meet hers. He did not resist, but his response was indecisive.

  “Do you want to love me, Willie?” she asked petulantly. He looked at her and she adored his eyes. “Do you want to love me? REALLY LOVE ME, Willie?”

  Her voice was barely audible but her sentiments were loud and clear.

  “We can’t ... well not here. The others might come this way.”

  “Come to the Nurses Home this evening at 8.30 and I’ll let you in ... Will you? Will you, please Willie? I mean it.”

  Willie paused and she forced her kisses on him again. Her whole being ached to have him and her head felt light as she floated on air in his arms as she nestled her tongue between his lips and held his head firmly with her hands, as she whispered again.

  “Please, Willie PROMISE?”

  He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

  “Don’t you think we should be getting back now, Lindsey? The others might be looking for us.”

  “I’ll wait until 9 o’clock Willie, but if you don’t come, then don’t ever bother to see me again. Do you understand?”

  She rose and dusted her skirt. Her ultimatum was profound and her blushes profuse as they walked back in silence to the party. She looked ahead with her head held high and felt for Willie’s hand. He squeezed her fingers lightly and looked at her as he wished with all his heart he could love this beautiful girl as he wanted to love Rachael Harris.

  Chapter Forty-One

  Sadie was happy with her tiny little daughter as she worked around the house and Aggie had taken the opportunity to visit the presbytery again, since her circumstances were now somewhat di
fferent from what they were on her last visit. She arrived unexpectedly and only Father Kane was at home. They talked for a long time together and Aggie was surprised that such a young priest could be so understanding, as he reviewed her circumstances at home, now that her mother had re-married and he agreed that she was able, at last, to pursue her vocation and become a Nun, if that was what she still wanted.

  “Which convent or Order have you thought about Agnes?”

  Oh! Please call me Aggie, Father. I feel better when people call me Aggie and that is what everybody calls me anyway.”

  Father Kane smiled and repeated his question.

  “Are you thinking of entering an active congregation of Sisters, Aggie or would it be the contemplative life that appeals more to you?”

  “I thought of the Carmelite Order, Father. I visit the Carmelite chapel regularly and I know many of the Nuns there.”

  “That’s a very strict way of life, Aggie. Do the Nuns know that you would like to join them?”

  “We have never discussed that, Father, but they know I admire their way of life.”

  “Perhaps you would like me to write to them, eh?”

  “I would be very pleased if you would, Father as I will have to have a reference from a Priest anyway. Thank you.”

  “There is no problem there, Aggie. I will write to the Reverend Mother and tell her of your feelings and I am sure she will write back to you, herself.”

  “Thanks Father. I am really most grateful.”

  “The pleasure is mine, Aggie and I wish you every success and happiness in your undertakings, with many years of peace and joy as a Carmelite Nun.”

  Aggie was thrilled the young priest should even THINK that she might be accepted as a postulant at the Convent and she was about to leave the presbytery when Fr. Kane called her again by name.