A Billy or a Dan, or an Old Tin Can

by Paul Kelly

  “Sounds nice coming from Mammy ... doesn’t it Tom,” he remarked as he took out his Highway Code to study it further. He swung his leg across the arm of the chair and noticed that his flies were undone.

  “Gawd ... I would have had a rollickin’ from Mammy, if she’d seen that,” he said and buttoned his flies as he sniffed and continued to read.

  Willie’s first consideration was to drive Rachael to Inverness and his second was the new Site he was to attend on Monday at Clarkston. He had got on well at ‘Charlie’s Site’ and was confident that he would be alright on his own, without Charlie’s supervision, although he had heard that the Foreman at Clarkston was a bit of a b ....... but Mary would never approve of that description, so he dismissed it from his mind.

  Chapter Forty-Four

  Sadie met Bob Wells that evening, around 7.30 at a local pub where they regularly met before. He was a big man and stood over six foot and had a beer-belly, but she liked his sense of humour and his carefree attitude to life. He was a salesman in second-hand cars, with all the patter that attended that trade and he was a ‘bookie’ in the evenings where he didn’t think anything of making a bob or two, regardless of the means or consequences. They had talked for a long time in the pub before Sadie had asked him about the visit to her home.

  “I don’t think it would be a good idea to meet your parents, Sadie. I mean I mean well, we hardly know each other, do we?” He slipped his hand under Sadie’s skirt as he spoke.

  “Don’t Bob Not here There’s people watching.” she said, but he only wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

  “I don’t owe them anything and I don’t care a damn what they see. If they want to look, let ‘em. Good luck to them, I say.”

  He returned his hand to her leg and slapped her thigh.

  “Don’t Bob, PLEASE!”

  “Have you gone off me then, Babe,” he enquired as he sniffed with self-assurance.

  Sadie removed his hand slowly and smiled into his eyes. Her life had changed dramatically since she had Fiona even her outlook on sex was different. She had ‘gone of it’ completely for some time after the baby was born, swearing that she would ever again let a man near her, but now her sex drive was insatiable She was aware that her attitude would be scorned by her family and although she still cared what they thought of her, she outweighed her own values with there’s and she was determine to run her own life in her own way. She felt she had been ‘used’ for long enough and her dreams of living with Robert Wells as his wife she hoped, (Or his mistress if need be,) were very much in her mind. She would please this man at all costs and he would never leave her she thought.

  She would not give him up and she knew she was living for the moment and of the possible disadvantages that might bring, but if she hesitated before she took any risk, she might die, waiting and wondering. She wanted Robert Wells and she was going to have him and that was that. .

  “You comin’,” he asked as he slid the stool away from behind him, scraping the hard polished floor of the pub and slapped a coin down on the bar counter.

  “Goodnight Julie,” he called out to the barmaid and blew her a kiss, followed by a crude raspberry and she made a sign with her forefinger which made him laugh. Miss Julie dried her beer glasses as any good barmaid would and sneered at Sadie as she passed by on the arm of Robert Wells. She leaned across the bar and gave Bob a good view of her cleavage as she raised a provocative eyebrow.

  “See you again soon, Big Boy,” she shouted as she removed the chewing gum from her mouth, pulling it into a string that vibrated between her vermilion lips and her immaculately manicured matching coloured fingers nails that she had bought in Boots that very morning.

  Bob tottered slightly as they left the pub together and Sadie tried to steady him as they went.

  “That’s alright, I’m not drunk. I can manage by myself, thank you very much,” he muttered and Sadie continued to walk in silence, wondering if he would change his mind about the visit to her family on the following Wednesday, but he said nothing about that. The road was long and ran partly into the country, around Rouken Glen when he pulled himself away from her and turned into the edge of a turnip field.

  “Just keep walking. I’ll catch you up in a second,” he grunted and undid his flies.

  Sadie walked on, looking at the moon and hoping that no-one was near enough to see Bob performing his functions of nature, if only by the light of the moon. He belched before he caught up with her on the road.

  “There now ... See, I bet you won’t want to eat turnips again after that, will ye?” he giggled but she ignored his vulgarity and drew his attention to the moon.

  “Beautiful night ... isn’t it, Bob? Look at that moon.”

  He smiled in a stupid way and put his arm around her as they walked on until they arrived at the field gate, where he suddenly stopped walking and turned to face her, still smiling with his eyes half-closed and his head tottering from side to side.

  “Makes you feel romantic. Doesn’t it, Sadie?”

  He pulled her closer to himself and thrust his tongue into her mouth viciously, grabbing her breast in his hand as she tried to push him away.

  “You’re hurting me. Stop it.”

  He moved his head to take in the full vision of her face in the moonlight.

  “You don’t usually complain what’s the matter?”

  Sadie sighed as she glanced again at the moon and tried to force a smile.

  “Nothing ... nothing’s the matter. You hurt my breast, that’s all. You squeezed too hard.”

  Bob returned his affections with a little more tenderness ...and began to massage Sadie’s breast as he forced her lips open again with his tongue, but his hands moved more urgently as he kissed her and lowered her slowly to the ground, pushing his knee between her legs and into her groin. Sadie did not resist instead, she murmured into his ear.

  “Be gentle, Bob. Please be gentle ... Don’t hurt me, please. Oh! dear, I hope this grass isn’t wet.”

  “Never mind about that,” he snapped, “Look at me. Look into my eyes. I want you to look at me as I make love to you.”

  The pale, mellow moon continued to glow peacefully as they struggled violently together in the grass, thrashing the sprouting daisies back into the earth. He was not so drunk that he could not make her happy, even if she knew that happiness to be momentarily. Sadie would cope with any problem of tomorrow, whenever that came, but for the moment she was being loved by a man who wanted to be with her and she wanted to be with him ...

  ***

  Mary welcomed Robert Wells to the house when he came to tea. He had come reluctantly after Sadie had persuaded him and Mary watched his reactions to the questions she put to him, for she could see that her daughter was obviously obsessed with this man. Mary was worried and it was the instinctive worry of a mother; that needed no reason, only a feeling that everything was not quite right. She loved Sadie deeply ... She was her daughter, was she not? ...and yet Sadie was the one who caused her the most concern. Sadie always wanted whatever she couldn’t or shouldn’t have. She was the dreamer of the trio of girls. A romantic with a great capacity to love and with the passion to go with it without ever seeming to be able to channel that flow of love, with prudence ...

  Aggie was a ‘thinker’ and a responsible young woman in comparison. Meggie was forthright and go-ahead, even with her gentleness, but then she reflected. Comparisons are odious, but nevertheless, she could not stop herself wondering about Robert Wells and his intentions towards her daughter. Mary had never ever allowed herself to form an ‘on-the-spot’ opinion of anyone. She had seen so many drastic mistakes made in that way until Robert Wells came into her house. She instinctively took a dislike to him but she played her part as hostess well and hoped that her feelings about him would remain unnoticed, but Tom Carey watched his wife ...and he knew her th
oughts, long before she spoke to him about them.

  ***

  “Bob is a partner in a used car sales business, Mammy,” Sadie announced with pride but she refrained from mentioning the other activities of her beloved.

  “That’s nice for you Bob ... do you take sugar?”

  Robert Wells stretched his long, thick legs and ran his feet across the carpet as he sucked his teeth and nodded.

  “Six please,” he said and closed his eyes as if that was the entitlement of any man, regardless of the rationing to each individual, man, woman and child.

  “Is your business thriving?”

  “S’alright, I suppose,” was all he said and then there was silence. A long, poignant silence, but Tom saved the situation from becoming embarrassing as he asked Bob questions on his own knowledge of cars and car maintenance, as the women got on with their thoughts together and Sadie glowered at her mother and made signs behind Bob’s back that she wanted to see her in the kitchen. Mary bit the bait.

  “Mammy ... you do like him ... don’t you?” asked Sadie but her question was apprehensive.

  “Sadie I want you to be happy and that’s all that matters ... Tell me, is this young man serious about you? ... I mean, do you think you might get married? Does he know about Fiona?”

  “Mammy ... Mammy, what a lot of questions. It’s too early to answer any of them yet, give us time. He hasn’t proposed or anything yet, if that’s what you mean?”

  The subject of proposing didn’t really concern Mary at that moment, but she was worried about the ... anything yet ... and she looked afraid as she cut the fresh salmon into slices and decorated the plates with lettuce and diced tomatoes and was just about to ask another question when Sadie put her finger to her lips, as if she did not want Bob to hear in the other room.

  “Well ... no ... Bob hasn’t proposed in so many words, but we know each other well and we get along fine together. I know what he’s thinking.” Sadie blushed If only Mary knew how well they did know each other she thought. “Don’t worry about me, Mammy. I know what I’m doing. We do love each other and he’d be a good father to Fiona. I know he would.”

  Mary took the plates into the living room and made every effort to smile and appear happy as she poured the tea.

  “I wish I wasn’t such a sensitive old busy body,” she complained quietly to herself as she returned to the kitchen for the home made cake.

  ***

  When Bob had gone that evening and Sadie went with him to the porch, Mary looked enquiringly at Tom, straining to catch his reaction to the visitor.

  “What do you think, Tom?” she asked.

  “Think? Think about what Mary?”

  “About him of course ...Sadie’s friend, Bob Walsh....”

  “Wells, Mary. I think his name is Wells ... not Walsh.”

  “Well, whatever ... What do you think of him?”

  Tom folded the evening paper and put it on the sideboard.

  “I think he’s a nice enough fellow, Mary,” he answered quietly without looking at her as he spoke.

  “I didn’t ask you that,” she murmured as she went into the kitchen with her tray full of plates.

  Sadie returned jubilantly, humming quietly and contentedly to herself.

  “I’ll do the washing up Mammy. Leave all that to me and you and Tom can go up to bed.”

  She kissed both Mary and Tom and ran upstairs to check that Fiona was still asleep before she returned downstairs to do her chores.

  ***

  Mary lay awake, disturbed in her mind and she didn’t know why.

  “Are you asleep, Tom?”

  He moved beside her and groaned. “What is it Mary? Can’t you sleep, Love?”

  “It’s Bob ... Bob Wells,” she said wearily. “I don’t know why, but I can’t take to him somehow.”

  Tom sighed and put his arms around her.

  “Can I go downstairs and make you a cup of tea?” he asked softly.

  Mary squirmed beside him and stretched her arms above her head.

  “No thanks, Dear. I’m sorry if I’m keeping you awake,” she said and Tom cuddled her.

  “Mary I don’t know the young man at all and therefore I cannot make any judgement on him, having met him for the first time this evening, but if Sadie likes him and she obviously does, well, that’s all that need concern us, isn’t it?”

  He wavered in his excuse, but he knew Mary was right. He too, felt there was something ‘not quite right’ about Robert Wells, but like Mary, he didn’t know what it was, or how he felt they way he did, but Mary put an answer to his own questions of himself.

  “Tom If Sadie was your own natural daughter would you feel the same?”

  He did not know how to answer her as he snuggled close and buried his nose in her delicate ear.

  “You’re such a sage, my Darling ... Do you know that? Let’s hope time will tell, eh? Goodnight Sweetheart.”

  “Time can tell a lot of things, Tom and sometimes it doesn’t tell things that are very pleasant, to say the least. Goodnight Darling but I know I won’t sleep at all well to night.”

  “Where’s all this trust in God, Mary Blair oops! Mary Carey?” He muttered and dropped off to sleep.

  Mary tightened her lips.

  “You’re right Tom. I should have more trust, but I’m having a night off from trusting this evening and I’m asking God to make this Robert Walsh or whatever his name is, to fall for some other young girl and leave our Sadie alone. Tom ...Tom?”

  Mary smiled as she felt the snoring coming closer and louder near her ear.

  Chapter Forty-Five

  Emily Harris was taken ill suddenly on a very cold and blustery evening when it was difficult for any doctor to come to see her. Miriam sat by her bedside. She knew Emily was seriously ill and that she was unable to contact Sam, who was ‘in transit’ somewhere, between the White Cliffs of Dover and anywhere else ... She had tried to telephone the Army Authorities, but there was nothing they could do, until Sam was based somewhere and they could locate him with a definite address. Rachael and Nathan were unable to help as they sat quietly, thinking that their silence was the only way to contribute to their grand mother’s well being in giving her peace, in her illness. Emily’s breathing became more shallow and irregular as Miriam dabbed her forehead with a damp towel and kept her lips moist with a little sponge. Suddenly the old lady sat up and opened her eyes. She wanted to speak, but the words wouldn’t come. Miriam leaned nearer to her as she lay in her bed and she could hear a few of the words that were spoken so quietly. She called Nathan to the bedside and Emily gave the boy a weak smile before he put his ear to her lips, whilst Miriam and Rachael stood by.

  Nathan listened for a little while, straining to understand what his grand mother was saying, before he rose up and took a book down from a shelf above the bed. He opened it solemnly and began to read in Hebrew.

  “Lord, I pray for EMILY HARRIS, who is sick and in pain. May it be your Holy Will to renew her strength and bring her back to health; renew her spirit also and free her from anxiety, for You ... and You alone should watch over her body and her soul.

  Though I cannot share her pain, help me to bring her good cheer and comfort. Give us the joy of helping each other through all the fortunes of life.

  Blessed are You, Lord, the faithful and merciful Healer.”

  Rachael looked at her mother in surprise. This was the Jewish prayer for the sick and she realised then, that Emily had asked her grandson to read it for her. As Nathan closed the book and put it back on the shelf, Emily was smiling. A tear came to the boy’s eye and he made every effort to conceal his emotions, but it was not to be He broke down and cried at the bedside.

  “Nanna, I love you ...Please don’t leave us,” he mumbled through his tears and as he was the first to speak, Mi
riam began to cry and had to be comforted by Rachael.

  They all wished that Sam had been there as they were sure it was what Emily Harris would have dearly wished as her breathing became fainter and her eyes dulled ...Within the hour, she had gone to her Maker

  Miriam and Rachael knelt quietly by the bed, but Nathan left the room quickly. He went into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Yes, he knew he was now a man he had been told often enough and he was proud of that, but in that instant he wanted to be just a young boy again and his Barmitzvah seemed an eternity away. He wanted to cry and lament his loss the loss of the dearest and most loving lady in his life, and it was easier to do that if he was just the boy he had been not so long ago. His warm tears salted his lips as his shoulders convulsed and he gave way to the agony of his grief.

  “Nanna . Darling Nanna, I love you. I wish I could have helped you more than I did. I wish I had told you when you were with us, just how much I loved you. I wish I could have made God save your life for us. Nanna, I wish you peace and I hope you are now with Pappa in Heaven.”

  He opened the bathroom door and reappeared into his manhood again. Rachael put her arms around him and they shared their loss in silent tears as Miriam looked on.

  ***

  And Rabbi Jacobs performed the ceremony at the funeral service in the Synagogue.

  The words from The Wisdom of Solomon were Emily’s epitaph and she was lowered gently into the earth.

  Sam did not get to the funeral service.

  Chapter Forty-Six

  The weather improved greatly and Willie was able to get the sun tan he had so long craved. He lay out at the top of the building Site with his mates and they shared the sun together, each hoping for a colour that would drive the girls wild with passion and the other lads mad with envy, but even the sun tan would not satisfy young Lindsey Peters. She had been scorned. She had given Willie Blair an ultimatum and he had disappointed her. The fact that she was on duty that evening was not in the question. If he had wanted to contact her, heaven and earth should not have stopped him and Lindsey concluded that he wanted no part in her affections and had decided to take her love and affections elsewhere. Willie was sorry, but in his heart, he knew it was the only answer. The truth of his love was beyond question, but that love was not for Nurse Peters.