REMEMBRANCE

by Nicole Maddison

  There was blood, lots of blood! It splattered across her face, and she screamed and screamed. “Tom…”

  She was screaming as she woke calling out his name. Her skin was soaked in perspiration, her heart racing. Suddenly remembering where she was, she had a terrible feeling of nausea. She turned her head, as the feeling grew more powerful; the bile was so strong that it burnt her throat.

  The house was quiet upon her entering; there was not a servant to be seen. It was on her approach to the stairs that she heard laughter and made her way towards its sound. As the sitting room door swung open, she was faced with her uncle and Mr Lewis smoking cigars and sipping wine. They both looked up at the same time.

  “Ah Maria, there you are, dear. I was just telling Mr Lewis here that we hadn’t seen you all morning.”

  Garth sat there, a mocking smile spread across his evil face.

  “What’s he doing here?” she said accusingly.

  “Who? Mr Lewis? Mr Grainger had some urgent business to attend to, so Mr Lewis here is to be our guest for a few days,” he informed her quite happily.

  Not needing to hear anything else, she just turned and left the room.

  “I really do not know what has gotten into her lately; she has been quite distant for the last couple of days,” Sir John made a comment, as she departed.

  “Maybe she is sickening for something?” Garth replied annoyed. “I am sure it is only a temporary thing; you know women.”

  Sir John laughed heartily at his remark, “Yes, yes, I am sure that you are right. I can honestly say that I shall never be able to understand her.”

  Garth was eager to get back to the topic that he and Sir John had been discussing; her intrusion had all but halted it.

  “So you were saying, Sir John, Whitmore Manor was passed to you?”

  “Yes, yes, of course, with me being the eldest male heir, Whitmore Manor was passed to me, some 40 years ago.”

  “And what of your brother?” he asked with interest.

  “Ah, after my brother, God bless his soul, passed away some 15 years back, his wife and child were left in my care. Unfortunately, Elizabeth passed away not long afterwards and I was left to bring up young Maria,” he said sadly.

  “I am so sorry for your loss; it must have been a trying time for you,” Garth added his sympathy.

  “Yes it was, but having no children of my own, I was happy to bring her up. She was like the daughter I never had.”

  “Losing both her parents at such a young age must have been very difficult for Miss Austin.”

  “It was very difficult for both of us. I can tell you that I indulged her—even spoilt her. She was such a wild child, always getting up to no good with young Mr Bradley. But it was all harmless fun at the time,” he laughed.

  This much he already knew, for Sir John had already spoken of it a few weeks past. Garth was careful to watch his words as he replied, “If I may say, Sir, she has turned out to be a fine young lady.”

  “Yes she has. I was disappointed to have to send her away, but she needed to be tamed. If I am honest, I now regret that she had been away for so long. I fear that, in her absence, she has missed out on a great many experiences she could have had here.”

  “She must be the object admiration of many wealthy bachelors from these parts,” Garth inquired, trying to get the conversation back to the information he was seeking.

  “Yes, yes she is. She is well educated and has many accomplishments. Alas, she will have none of the bachelors. I fear that if she does not change, she will grow into an old spinster,” Sir John said, his voice faltering as he uttered the last words.

  “Oh that is such a shame, for she has a remarkable beauty that would attract many a fine suitor. It would be a great loss to all young bachelors, if she refused them all and did not marry.”

  “Of course, you are right, Mr Lewis; but what can I say, she is such a headstrong girl and you know women.”

  “Yes I understand, Sir John; we all know what women can be like!” Garth forced himself to laugh.

  With that, they fell silent for a while, sipping the warming wine from their glasses, deep in thought.

  “So Miss Austin is to inherit Whitmore Manor upon your death?” Garth progressed down the path of his intensions.

  Sir John’s hearty laugh filled the room at the young man’s suggestion. “I wish that was to be the case, but unfortunately it was written into the deeds upon the marriage of my parents that the Whitmore Estate would be passed down to the next living male heir. Hence, because I have no children of my own, and my brother, as you know, passed away, there is no male heir on my side of the family. Hence, the estate will be passed back to the Bradley line and the heir would be Thomas Bradley.”

  “Thomas Bradley?” Garth asked, shocked by this unexpected news.

  “I believe that Thomas would take good care of Miss Austin, and he would not see her go homeless, so I have no worries there, for they are like brother and sister.”

  Garth could feel the anger welling up inside. So she was worthless? She may be the most beautiful woman he had ever had the good fortune to meet; but, without the money and the inheritance, she was no longer of any interest to him.

  “Yes, I am sure that you are right. Mr Bradley would take care of her.” His mouth was a taut line as he forced himself to speak. Still, had he not taken good care of her already? he wondered.

  * * * * *

  The quiet knock on Maria’s door woke her from her sleep; she had lain on her bed for just a few minutes when tiredness had overtaken her. She rubbed her eyes and, looking out, realized that it had grown dark. The tap at the door sounded again.

  “Who is it?” she enquired nervously.

  “It is me, Miss—Bella.”

  She raised herself slowly, fighting down the feeling of nausea as she moved and went to turn the tiny key in its lock.

  “Why have you locked your door, Miss?” Bella asked as she entered.

  Maria stepped back to let her pass, “Bella, I do not care for the fact that Mr Lewis is in the house.”

  “Why Miss, he seems very amiable; I am sure you have nothing to worry about there?”

  “That is not quite true, Bella,” she said, “I do not trust him.”

  “Has something happened, Miss?” Bella asked, concern evident in her voice.

  Maria looked into her worried face and decided that telling her the truth would not be of any use. “Err… no Bella, I just wanted to make sure that I did not get disturbed,” she didn’t much care for lying to her maid and she was sure that Bella didn’t look altogether convinced with here explanation.

  “If it is any news to you Miss, his room is at the far side of the house,” the young girl added.

  “Thank you, Bella. I was just wondering is there any news from Mr Bradley? A note maybe?”

  “No Miss.”

  She sighed deeply with disappointment.

  “I am sure that Mr Bradley will be in touch quite soon, Miss,” Bella said cheerily. “I cannot imagine that he would be able to stay away for long. Shall I bring supper to your room Miss?” she offered kindly.

  “Thank you Bella, for I do not care to be in the company of the gentlemen tonight.”

  “As you wish Miss,” she curtsied before she left.

  * * * * *

  Her eyes were blurred; she felt a pain on her temple. Cramps crippled her as they radiated through her stomach. Fingers bit into her arms; she felt her body being dragged. She tried to cry out, but she had no voice. Then, there was Tom, kneeling on the grass, sobbing. She started to move toward him, but suddenly halted as she realized that he held a pistol pressed to his temple; he was no longer crying. “It was you!” The gun went off, smoke filled her vision, and Tom lay upon the ground. Laughter, so much laughter—she knew that sound.

  Her eyes snapped open at the nightmare that consumed her sleep. She was shaking, her skin cold and clammy from her inner fight. The room was beginning to lighten as the dawn approached. She fel
t as if she had not slept at all, even though she was still plagued with the memories of her dreams. Why were they tormenting her so? She tried to remember the distorted picture that her mind produced. Did they not say that dreams were your subconscious trying to tell you something?

  “Maybe if I write them down,” she spoke to herself, “I might be able to link them together.”

  She took her diary and put her thoughts to paper. She halted when she thought of the first time she had seen Tom in her dream, his face so very sad and then… the blood, so much blood! However, in the dream she had just had, he had sounded angry, rather than sad. This time, it was someone else that pulled the trigger, their laughter still clear in her mind. What did it all mean? Were they trying to tell her something? A hidden message of some sort? What was it that they were trying to tell her? She had a feeling that something she could not explain was going to happen...

  Where was Tom? She needed him here. If he were next to her now, he could hold her and tell her that the events she was witnessing—although realistic to her—were all just in her mind, that there wasn’t anything to be afraid of and that everything was alright. But he wasn’t here. He had gone off to God knows where, leaving her here all alone. He had been reluctant to say much about his sudden trip when they had last been together and she had not wanted to spoil what little time they had together with questions. She closed her eyes against the pain that his absence caused.

  She looked again at what she had written, wondering if there— amongst the words she had written—was something that would give her a clue. For hers were not just ordinary dreams, they felt so real. She touched a hand to her arms and noticed a bruise forming on her pale skin.

  She tried to stay out of her uncle and Mr Lewis’ way for most of the day. She found herself creeping and looking round corners to check that it was clear before she went anywhere. She prayed that Mr Lewis would not be staying too long, for she could not contemplate having to do this for very much longer.

  She had sent her excuses not to attend dinner, but her uncle had come to her room and insisted that she join them. Hence, she was forced into having to put up with the gentlemen’s presence, when really she just wanted to hide away.

  She sat at the large table with her uncle as they took their meal, and was relieved to find that Mr Lewis had not joined them. Thankful for the respite, she relaxed and tucked into her food with a hearty appetite. She knew that now would be a good time to speak to Sir John about Mr Lewis’ proposal, and the possibility of her having a season in London.

  “Uncle,” she started to say; “is there any truth…” was all she managed, when a very drunk Mr Lewis burst into the room.

  “Ah there you are, Garth,” her uncle welcomed him happily. “We wondered where you had got to!”

  Mr Lewis staggered to the chair opposite Maria’s and leered at her across the table.

  “You are looking very charming tonight, Miss Austin,” he said with clear mockery in his voice.

  She looked down at her food, biting her lip for fear that she may say something in the presence of her uncle that she would later regret.

  For the rest of the meal, she suffered in silence, as the penetrating looks of the man in front of her practically burned into her delicate skin. Enjoying the discomfort he was causing her, he engaged himself in conversation with Sir John. It sickened her to watch him manipulate her uncle so. Was everyone in this house blind to this man’s character? Did he portray a completely different person to them than the one at which she had firsthand experience? How she managed to eat anything in his presence she did not know, for her appetite had quickly disappeared. Once they had finished their meal, she slipped away to find haven in the confines of her room.

  She was running, feeling the wind on her face spreading the falling tears across her cheeks. Suddenly, she fell and cried out in pain. The pressure on her chest forced the air from her lungs, pressing down on her, crushing her.

  “Come on, Miss Austin, do not fight me. You know that you want this,” Garth Lewis said, his voice so close...

  She opened her eyes and could smell a stench of alcohol and tobacco on her face. She screamed as she realised this was not part of her dream, as a hard callous hand clamped over her mouth to stem her cries.

  “Now… Now Maria, we do not want to wake the rest of the house,” Garth sniggered.

  She lashed out into the darkness with her hands, trying to ward him off, but he just pinned them down at her side. His vicious mouth crushed hers and she could taste the blood. Whipping her head from side to side, she screamed out as he bit into the soft flesh of her neck, while all the time his laughter penetrated her ears. Sickened at the sound of it, the blood coursed through her veins, giving her an inner strength. She brought her knee up to make contact with his rising arousal. It had the desired effect and he buckled in pain, which give her enough time to escape from his clutches. She was at the door when she was brought to the floor with the weight of his body and he swung her over onto her back.

  “Now, now, Miss Austin! As I said, Mr Bradley will not be the only one to satisfy his needs on you.”

  He ripped at the material of her nightdress and she swung out to knock him off balance, but he held her fast. The sharp edges of his knees forced her legs apart.

  “I said that I would have you and I will do so whether you fight me or not!” he said through gritted teeth. “Willing or not, I shall possess you.”

  “NOOOO!” she cried.

  His dark eyes were like black pits of pure hell in the darkened room. He was not the man she had come to know; he was worse. Anger, hatred and frustration oozed from his very person. He was a man with a purpose and he did not care who he hurt in the process. Again, he forced his mouth to her, his rough hands hard on her delicate skin, as he moved them over her soft breasts, bruising, punishing her for her unwillingness to cooperate. She cried out with pain as he pursued and then continued his hands on their path down between her legs.

  “I shall not be deterred! I actually like a woman with a little fight in her—it adds to the experience.”

  “No,” she bit out as he bound her down with his hands.

  “Damn you woman, keep still!” Garth hissed, as she wriggled frantically beneath him. It was the only way to stop him from forcing himself onto her. She fought with every ounce of her strength to ward him off, her screams echoing through the quietness of the sleeping house.

  The room was suddenly flooded with candlelight as several servants, closely followed by Sir John, ran to her aid.

  “What the…?” Sir John called out, shocked to see Maria lying half-naked on the floor with Mr Lewis.

  Joseph, the butler, quickly came to her rescue and dragged the very drunk Mr Lewis off Maria. Finally free, she scuttled backwards until she was trapped against the wall, trying to cover her naked body with her ripped garment.

  “What the blazes is going on here?” The enraged voice of Sir John bellowed out. He looked from Maria to Mr Lewis, who was now standing and smoothing out his ruffled clothes.

  “I am so sorry you had to see this Sir John, but she begged me to come to her room tonight. She likes to play these little games, don’t you dear?” Garth spoke as if nothing was amiss.

  “WHAT?” Maria said stunned, “It is not as it seems, Uncle, he forced himself upon me!”

  “Now dear, tell Sir John the truth!”

  “How dare you?” she screamed, “It is not so, Uncle, he forced his way in!” she was almost close to tears.

  “Why don’t you tell him that we are to be married?” Garth said almost innocently.

  “You liar! Please, Uncle, he is not telling the truth!”

  “Now, that is quite enough!” Sir John shouted. “I will not put up with this sort of behaviour in my house!”

  “But, Sir John, it is the truth. Would I lie to you, Sir?”

  “You liar!” Maria screamed in pure frustration.

  “Do you not see how she still denies our agreement through the em
barrassment of having been caught?” asked Mr Lewis, still keeping his voice steady.

  The air caught in her throat. Could she really believe what she was hearing? She was taken aback by the sheer audacity of the man that stood proudly in the centre of the room.

  Sir John looked from him to his niece, torn between right and wrong. How could he disbelieve the woman that he had raised as his own? Who was this man that had wheedled his way into their lives, his home?

  “It is quite obvious, Sir, that your advances were neither wanted nor asked for by my niece, and I shall not tolerate any man that forces himself on her!” he finally said.

  The room grew quiet as Sir John’s words sank in.

  “But Sir, she encouraged me; she led me to believe that we were to be married,” Garth continued, attempting to put up a good defence.

  “Quiet, Sir,” Sir John turned to Joseph, “If you would be so good as to have Mr Lewis’s things taken from the room he occupies?” The butler nodded, leaving the room to attend to the request. “And you Sir, I shall have you removed from my house immediately.”

  With that, two of the larger male servants grabbed him. With surprising strength, Garth snatched his arms from their grasp.

  “I am quite capable of leaving without your help,” he said stonily, holding his head high as he passed Sir John and the others and made his way unsteadily down the stairs.

  Maria sat sobbing, as her Uncle came to kneel before her, “Hush now, child, he has gone. We shall see no more of him.”

  “But Uncle, he forced himself on me. He said that you had given him leave to marry me and that you had both arranged it,” she stammered.

  “I never gave him leave my dear, for he had never asked me.”