Libera Me (Requiem Series)

by Fonseca, Christine

  “Who? Nesy? You don’t know that.”

  “I do. Nessa. It’s her. She thinks she’s crazy, like there’s something wrong with her. I can’t bear to see her like that—broken. Damaged. Just like—”

  “Like how you feel.” Cass retreats from my heart.

  “Yes,” I whisper.

  There so much more I want to say. The emotions I can’t seem to control anymore. The fear I have for all of us.

  The guilt.

  So much.

  But the words refuse to form, and I am rendered mute.

  “None of this is your fault, Zane. And more importantly, you can’t fix what’s already been done. You have to let her go. Trust that the Council, Caim, will protect her until she can find herself.”

  “But—”

  “No!” Cass’s voice rattles the few adornments in my room. “Let her go. Trust that she will find a way through the darkness. Trust that she can fight off whatever comes her way.” She takes my hands in hers. “If you really believe she’s Nesy, then trust her. For once in your existence, just trust her.”

  Again I have no words. I know Cass is right, but how do I let go of Nesy? It’s my fault she’s trapped in a body with no memories. My fault she feels crazy and alone.

  My fault.

  “Zane,” Cass says, pulling my focus back to her. “I’ve told you before that I can’t face losing you. And I mean it.”

  She tightens her grasp on me. I stare into her eyes, watching them fill with tears.

  “Ever since you made that deal, you’ve been distant. Obsessed with finding Nesy. And now that you think you’ve found her, now that she is under the Council’s protection, it isn’t enough. Nothing is ever enough for you where she’s concerned.”

  I yank my hands free and turn away.

  “Please Zane. Let her go. Before you do something stupid. I can’t bear to lose another person I need. One I care for. Please.”

  I walk away from Cass, silent. Walk away from her words and their truth.

  Night descends on Celestium, blanketing the normal brilliance of the sky in inky darkness. I pace the antechamber of the Council, waiting. In my existence, I’ve only been summoned to the Council a dozen times, and typically it was about Nesy. I’m certain this time is no different.

  The doors open and Caim walks out, a smug smile still etched on his face.

  “Well?”

  “Don’t worry. I didn’t let anything happen to your human friends.” Every word drips with sarcasm.

  “She isn’t human.”

  “Oh, I’m well aware of what she is and isn’t. Are you?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Near as I can tell, your precious Nesy is the reason for this entire mess in the first place. I mean, her task was simple. Kill the UnHoly. She failed.”

  “What are you saying, Caim?

  “Everything that’s happened, every death, every betrayal—it’s all her fault.”

  I grasp my sword, nearly forgetting where I am.

  “What? Don’t like my version of the truth?”

  “You need to hold your tongue, Guardian.” My heart pounds against my ribs.

  “And you need to watch your emotions.” Caim turns away. “And,” he says over his shoulder. “Yes. She’s fine.” Caim disappears around the corner.

  “Zanethios. Come,” Gabriel voice floats out from the Council chamber.

  I inhale my anger and rage, stowing it deep below the surface. I used to be able to control these emotions.

  Before.

  Taking another breath, I walk in and face the Council. Mikayel, Gabriel, Raphael and Sariel all stand, their expressions flat. Whatever the reason I was beckoned, this doesn’t look good.

  “Sirs,” I say as I nod.

  “Zanethios.” Gabriel’s voice betrays nothing.

  I still have no idea why I’m here.

  “The Council has granted your request.” A slight smile dances in Gabriel’s eyes.

  “Request?”

  “Yes. To return,” says Gabriel. “Help with Nesy’s protection.”

  My brows furrow and I open my mouth to ask for clarification. Mikayel’s voice floats through me before the words can form.

  Go. Find Nesy. Make certain she is safe.

  I look at Mikayel and he turns away.

  Trust no one.

  “Yes Sirs,” I say, looking from Mikayel to Gabriel.

  Report back soon. Gabriel’s voice replaces Mikayel’s.

  I turn and walk from the room, my head swimming in confusion.

  Hurry.

  Chapter 18 – CONSPIRE

  Aydan

  Morning comes in a rush. I grab the phone, checking again for some sign that Nessa’s fine; we’re fine. It vibrates as soon as I pick it up.

  Nessa. Thank goodness.

  “Hey!”

  “Hi. Coming to school today? When I didn’t hear from you I was worried.”

  “I was going to say the same to you. Where were you yesterday?”

  “Therapy. My aunt sort of freaked out when I didn’t come home after my walk.”

  It wasn’t a dream.

  “Thank you by the way.”

  “For what.”

  “For the other night.”

  Heat rises through me. “Anytime Nesy.” I catch the slip too late and wait for her to respond.

  Nothing.

  “You know I’ll always be here for you.”

  “I know.” Her voice is quieter than I want it to be.

  I shouldn’t have called her Nesy.

  “Hey, we’re still on for Grad Night, right?” she asks. “You don’t think it’s too lame that I want to go.”

  “Not lame at all. I want to go too, as long as we go together.”

  “Thanks,” she whispers.

  “I love you Nessa. I want to do everything with you.”

  The silence grows between us. I wait for a response that never comes. Finally, I break the silence. “So, meet me in the usual place?” I ask. “Or do you need a ride?”

  “My aunt will take me. She isn’t letting me out of her sight for a few days, I think. Guess I don’t blame her, not really. I should’ve called her or something. And yes, I’ll meet you by the lockers.”

  “Great.”

  I rush to get ready for school. I need to feel Nessa next to me, breathe her in and calm the fear and doubt spreading through me.

  The thought brings a fresh wave of need pulsing up from somewhere deep inside. More than need. Want, the kind that comes from the Beast.

  Let it go, I silently pray. Let that life go.

  The school is crowded when I arrive, everyone excited, chatting about Grad night and the upcoming break. Again, it feels off to me. I’ve never had to think about what comes next. Never had to plan for a future.

  But now, with school ending and no plans for work or anything else, I’m running out of time. The apartment is paid through the end of the month. Then…

  I don’t know what happens then.

  A life with Nessa.

  —I hope.

  Normalcy.

  —I doubt.

  I push through the throng of students, making my way to Nessa’s locker.

  The walls ripple and move, just like yesterday.

  My blood chills, again.

  Goosebumps erupt and I turn. Lorelei stands in front of me again. No, not Lorelei. Someone different. Similar, but with rounder eyes, and lighter skin. Black hair replaces Lorelei’s auburn locks. The girl walks with a boy that could be her twin. They walk closer, our eyes meeting briefly.

  There is no recognition when our eyes meet this time. No fear. They walk past me and a chill travels down my spine. The longing returns; the craving.

  I shove it aside as images of Lorelei’s last moments stream across my vision.

  Her pleas for help and the surrender when I finally complied

  The horror on Nesy’s face as I drank the last of her sister’s soul.

  The never-en
ding laughter from Azza.

  The images won’t stop. My pulse increases as the monster that shouldn’t exist pushes up from the depths. My knees begin to wobble. My vision blurs. At once, my nose fills with the smell of rotting flesh.

  I glance around the corridor.

  Students fade as I continue to walk. I grab the walls, my legs beginning to give way.

  “Stop,” I whisper.

  Demons begin to climb out of the walls.

  The monster in me surges to life.

  The dark creatures circle me, their beaks clicking and claws snapping the space near my face.

  Feed.

  The thought ensnares my senses, tickling the back of my throat.

  My mouth waters as the need to feast grows, eclipsing every part of me.

  “Stop,” I again whisper.

  More demons invade the space.

  No thoughts exist other than the need to rip the soul from someone—anyone.

  Honor your oath.

  A sound pulls my attention and I turn. Nessa smiles as she meets my gaze.

  “No!”

  The scene swirls to life.

  Demons and humans weave through the hall, filling the once-empty spaces.

  Nessa opens her arms to embrace me.

  And the Beast commands to be obeyed.

  My hands shake.

  My heart pounds against my ribs.

  I close my eyes, sliding down the wall.

  I can’t shut out the sounds, the scents, the hunger.

  And I must.

  Now.

  “Aydan!”

  Her feet click on the linoleum as she comes closer. And closer.

  No, Nessa. Stay away.

  “Aydan. What’s wrong?”

  I don’t dare open my eyes.

  The Beast surges through me, urging me to hunt.

  But I can’t. I won’t.

  I swallow hard, forcing back a need that won’t abate.

  “Stop,” I whisper again. “Make it stop.”

  “Make what stop?” Nessa is too close, her vanilla and smokish scent driving me crazy with lust.

  “Please. Help me.” My voice trembles.

  “I’m right here. What can I do?”

  My pulse fills my ears, muffling the sound of her voice. I feel her soul pulling on mine, reaching for me.

  “Man! You okay?” Abe’s voice breaks the trance, focusing my thoughts away from the Beast. “I knew I should have forced you to get checked out by a doctor or something.”

  He yanks me up as I open my eyes.

  The walls no longer move. Nothing but students crowd the space, looking at me.

  “What do you mean ‘checked out’? Aydan?”

  “You should have seen it. He crashed his bike. Bad.”

  “Aydan!” Nessa reaches out for me and my heart pounds.

  “I’m fine. I’m fine,” I say as I pull out of her grasp. “Just a little shaky.”

  “A little? Aydan, I watched you collapse. You’re going to the nurse. Right now.”

  “I’m with her. You need to get checked out proper this time.”

  I stare at them both, my mind clearing. Whatever’s happening to me, I doubt the school nurse will have any answers.

  “I’ll take him,” Abe says to Nessa. “Make sure he gets there okay.”

  Nessa furrows her brow as her lips turn into a frown.

  I don’t know how much I can trust myself around her right now.

  “It’s okay. Abe will take me. You go on to class. I’ll find you at lunch.”

  “Are you sure,” her voice speaks the apprehension I feel.

  “Yeah, it’s fine. Go.”

  “Text me later, okay. I worry about you.” Nessa turns as the bell rings.

  “Let’s go,” Abe says, nodding toward the nurse’s office.

  My skin erupts in gooseflesh as we walk down the now-deserted hallway.

  The trip to the nurse is uneventful. My pulse no longer races. My throat no longer burns. I am fine. Completely fine.

  “You guys can both go back to class now,” the woman behind the desk tells us as she scribbles a note. “Maybe get a little more sleep in the future Mr. Johnson.”

  “Yes Ma’am,” I say.

  If only this was about sleep.

  Abe grabs my arm as we leave the office. “Come on,” he says, nodding toward the door. “Let’s get out of here.”

  Questions swarm my thoughts.

  “Now,” Abe says again, his voice cold and insistent. “Before something else happens.”

  What does he know?

  I plant my feet, refusing to take another step.

  “Come on,” he pleads, scrutinizing the hallway. “I’ll tell you everything when we’re out of here.”

  “Fine,” I acquiesce. Answers are more important than school.

  We walk to the student parking lot. The sun beats down on us as a light breeze ruffles the air. Abe stops at my bike and his façade changes, his body stiffens.

  “What happened back there? Before?” he asks, his tone more stoic. “And don’t tell me nothing. I need to know exactly what you saw. Heard.”

  I clench my jaw. “Who are you?”

  “What happened?” he asks again.

  “Nothing.”

  “Liar.” Abe releases a strangled breath. “Look, I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s happening.”

  “And what makes you think I need help?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you nearly killed someone you supposedly love.” Abe balls his hands into fists.

  “I’m not saying anything until I know who you are.”

  Abe squares his shoulders and releases a deep sigh. He closes his eyes and his hair grows into black curls that frame his face. He body lengthens, his skin grows more pale. Two crimson wings unfurl from his back, extending six feet behind him. The sun catches on the delicate feathers, casting a blood-red hue on the pavement.

  He opens his eyes. No longer amber, they reflect an emerald green that is unworldly.

  My mouth hangs open as the words, the questions, turn to dust in my throat.

  “I am Caimael. A Guardian.”

  “The Council?”

  “Yes, they sent me. I came to investigate the girl. Protect her.”

  “From what?”

  “You, possibly.”

  I want to protest, deny any world in which Nessa would ever need to fear me. But our history screams another truth and I remain silent.

  “Don’t worry, I don’t think you are the real threat.”

  I shake my head in protest. I nearly killed her already. Obviously, I’m a problem.

  “Aydan, listen to me. When did you first feel the Beast stir again? When did you start to journal your fears?”

  Forever.

  “You mean, after the first months?” I ask.

  “Yes, after you became acclimated.”

  I think back to the early days, the pain and heartache. My life was so dark then. Then Nessa came and everything felt reborn.

  I scroll through the time together, trying to pinpoint the first moment I felt the desire to take a soul.

  “I don’t know,” I say, not ready to admit my fears.

  “After Nessa appeared in your class?”

  “Yes,” I respond.

  “After you told her she was Nesy?”

  “Yes,” I say again.

  “And the nightmares, they came back once you two started dating, yes?”

  No!

  “Don’t you see? You are not the threat, Aydan. She is.”

  “No. I won’t accept that. Nesy would never—”

  “And if she’s not Nesy?”

  Not Nesy. The phrase lingers too long in the air, fueling a doubt deep within.

  “She is.”

  “Aydan, look. I was sent to protect you both. But based on my observations, you are the one in danger. Not her. So, I’m here to do that. Protect you.”

  “I don’t want your protection. Don’t need it.�
�

  “Again, I’ll remind you that you nearly died. And you nearly killed. Those are not acts committed by someone who does not need protection.”

  I turn away, his words searing into my soul.

  “Zane,” I whisper.

  “What about the Mediator?”

  “He and Nesy were friends. He’d know—”

  “He is not part of this case.”

  I spin around, my hands in fists at my side. “If Zane tells me that Nessa is not Nesy, then I’ll listen. Got it?”

  “You’re a fool,” Caimael says.

  “He’s the only one I’ll trust. Get him to tell me Nessa’s the problem and you can protect me all you want.”

  “A fool,” he says again as he fades in nothing.

  Chapter 19 – Purgatorio

  Zane

  Caimael waits for me on the hill overlooking Aydan's house and the school. His ruby tinged wings glisten in the bright sun, casting a blood-red glow on our surroundings. It’s an ominous look, something more suited for Azza’s realm. Not Celestium.

  I walk up the familiar path. A cool breeze flirts with my skin as I reach the crest.

  “Why am I here, Mediator? I’m not a dog for you to summon whenever you distrust me.” Caim is stoic in both appearance and expression. Even his wings are hard against the wind.

  “If I summoned you every time I distrusted you, Caim, you’d never leave.”

  Caim places a hand on his sword and I reach for mine.

  Stop, Cass says in my thoughts as she materializes next to me. Relax. I’ve got this.

  I clench my jaw and nod slightly. My frustration doesn’t dissipate with her presence, nor my apprehension.

  “Caim, we are only here to check on things. On Nesy. She was our friend for a long time.”

  “And you must understand she is not Celestium’s anymore.”

  Cass’s hand tightens around my arm before I can respond.

  “And you must understand that our orders are clear. She’s not to be harmed, regardless of what she is.”

  Cass’s jaw is stiff as she closes her mouth. She’s stronger than I ever thought possible. I can’t help but wish that Nesy could be here to see it.

  Cass stares at Caim, her eyes fierce. I know she’s rifling through his thoughts, pulling what he knows. His expression changes from detached to soft. He’s ours.

  “Now,” she says. “What information do you have for us?”

  “Nothing interesting. She’s human. They’re both…human.” Caim spit out the words, coating them in disdain.