Here and Now

by T. Renee Fike

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “Yeah, I’ve been around him and I don’t have those feelings like I did before, so I’m assuming it was just a stupid crush.”

  “So you feel more with Austin?”

  “I do, a lot more actually,” I admit.

  “There’s nothing wrong with that. How does Austin feel about you riding in a car with Evan to go visit your brother?” she asks out of nowhere.

  “I’m guessing fine, he hasn’t said anything about it,” I say, like it’s no big deal, because it isn’t.

  “You may want to make sure he’s fine with it,” she informs me.

  “If it’s not, that’s tough,” I blurt out. Dani’s eyes get huge and she looks thoroughly surprised, “I’m not going to stop living my life because my boyfriend may have issues with me around another guy, one he knows really well. No, he will accept it and that’s it,” I demand.

  She starts laughing, “No need to get all defensive, I was just saying.”

  “I’m so not into the jealousy shit and as far as I can tell, Austin isn’t like that, thank God.”

  “Good, hopefully it stays that way,” she adds.

  The rest of the evening is spent hanging out, eating pizza and working on some homework before we quit the homework and watch some comedy movies. Sunday is spent pretty much the exact same way.

  Monday comes quick and before I know it, I’m rushing out of the dorm, already running a little behind for class. I make it across campus and to class right before the door closed, thank goodness.

  Morning classes go well and I agreed through text to meet Austin for lunch. Walking out of my last morning class, I notice Austin standing at the corner, waiting for me.

  “Hey there,” I say as I approach.

  “Hey babe,” he says, as he leans down and gives me a quick kiss. “Ready for lunch?”

  “I’m starving,” I say, just as my stomach rumbles.

  He chuckles, as he wraps his arms around my shoulders, “Then let’s get you fed,” he says, as we walk to the local bistro.

  The place isn’t busy, so we grab a booth by the window.

  “You’re going with Evan to see your brother right?” Austin asks out of nowhere as we wait for the waitress.

  “Yeah, why?” I ask.

  “There’s nothing going on between you and Evan right?” he asks, with a concerned look.

  “No, there’s not, not at all,” I answer honestly.

  “Okay, just wanted to make sure I had nothing to worry about,” he says, looking relieved.

  I grab his hand that’s on the top of the table, “Babe, you have nothing to worry about, there is only one man I’m interested in, and I’m with him now,” I say.

  “Good, I don’t know what it is, but there’s something different about you,” he says, catching me by surprise.

  “Something different about me?” I ask.

  “You’re not the typical jealous girl type; you’re laid back, fun to be around, can joke with anyone. I think you’re perfect and I’m proud to say you’re mine,” he says sweetly, melting me with his chocolate eyes.

  “I’m not perfect, but I’ll take it. I couldn’t be happier with how things are going between us,” I say excitedly.

  “Would you want to go to the movies tomorrow?” he asks kindly.

  “Sure, what do you want to see?”

  “Whatever you want, I just want to spend more time with you,” he smiles, a genuine smile.

  “We can just hang out, we don’t have to go to the movies to do that,” I point out.

  “I’m good with whatever you want to do,” he smirks.

  “We can figure it out then,” I state. I honestly don’t care as long as I get to hang out with him, that’s good enough for me.

  By the time lunch is over, my next class is coming up, Austin walks me to my next class, gives me a chaste kiss before heading to his own class. “Bye baby,” he says as he walks away.

  “See you later,” I smile before heading inside.

  The afternoon goes by quickly and before long, I head out of my last class. Walking across the lawn, “Hey, there you are,” I hear someone say behind me, realizing right away, it’s Lily.

  Turning around, “Hey, how are you?” I ask.

  “I’m great, how about you?” she asks, looking all dolled up for a Monday afternoon.

  “I’m good, things are going well,” I admit.

  “How are things with you and Austin?” she asks suddenly.

  “Great.”

  “Good, I’m glad, I knew you two would hit it off,” she says with a smile on her face.

  “Things are going really well with the two of us. How about you, any prospects?” I ask, wanting to change the subject from me, which shouldn’t be hard, Lily loves to talk about herself.

  “Ugh, not really, still just focusing on Evan.”

  “Really? Why?”

  “Because he’s my soulmate,” she states proudly.

  “Lily, there are a ton of men here, why would you limit yourself to one guy who may or may not be your soulmate?” I ask boldly.

  “You wouldn’t understand,” she says harshly.

  “Try me.”

  “I’ve been in love with Evan since I was six years old; he was my best friend before I met you. Our families were really close, heck, they still are, and family vacations were the best because we went together. I know him, I feel completely comfortable around him,” she says, looking sad suddenly.

  “How does he feel though Lil?”

  “He doesn’t want to ruin our friendship, he thinks it would be best if we continue to be friends, because if we date and it doesn’t go right, then our families could have issues and he doesn’t want that,” she says, looking bummed.

  “So, why don’t you date someone else, see if he gets jealous, and see how he reacts. If you two are truly meant to be together, it will happen, but don’t sell yourself short, if it doesn’t happen. You are possibly passing up your future husband for a man you aren’t one hundred percent sure about.”

  “I am positive about him, he just isn’t there with me,” she bursts out.

  “Then don’t wait on him, move forward with your life and be happy. Like I said, if it’s meant to be with you two. It will happen one day,” I state again.

  “Wow, you are really over Evan,” she says quickly.

  “I’m happy with Austin and it was a crush, a stupid high school crush. I want a future with someone, whether that is with Austin or someone else. I’m not going to wait around for someone who very well may not be my soulmate,” I point out, hoping she takes the hint and does the same for herself.

  “Good for you, I’m really happy for you,” she says as she gives me a hug all of a sudden. I hug my friend back, still a bit surprised because we haven’t spoken in over a month. “I hope I can find a guy like Austin, maybe then I can forget about Evan and move forward with my life,” she says as she continues to give me a hug.

  “You can, just put yourself out there and give other guys a chance. I know damn well you’ve had plenty of opportunities, because guys hit on you all the time. So give one of them a chance,” I say as I pull back to look at her in the face.

  “You’re right. God, I miss you Bay,” she says, looking genuine.

  “I’m still here,” I remind her.

  “I know, I’ve just been so busy with the sorority stuff and school, I haven’t really had time for anything else.”

  “It happens, I get it; between classes, homework, Austin, and Dani, there doesn’t seem be to enough time in the day anymore,” I say, earning a weird look, once I mentioned Dani’s name.

  “You’re still friends with her?” she asks with a slight attitude.

  “Yeah, she is my roommate, so I do see her pretty regularly,” I admit.

  “Something just seems off with her, I would watch your back,” she says out in left field.

  “What seems off?” I ask, wanting to know what she’s talking about.

 
“Dani, there’s just something about her, I wouldn’t trust her,” she states.

  “She’s never giving me any reason to not trust her Lil, and until she does, I think I can trust her.”

  Lily’s facial expression shows she clearly does not like Dani. Why, I’m just not sure, but I’m not going to worry or stress over it, especially when Lily and I don’t see nor talk like we used to.

  “Fine, enough about her anyway; what are you doing tonight? I was hoping maybe we could hang out and catch up,” she asks.

  “I have a paper to finish and it’s due tomorrow, so if I head home now and work on it, get it done, we can hang out later, if that works,” I throw in there, wanting her to feel special.

  “Perfect, text me,” she says as she rushes off.

  “Weird,” I mutter to myself as I walk back to my dorm.

  “What’s wrong?” Dani asks, as soon as I enter our room.

  “I just had a run-in with Lily and she wants to hang out, but the conversation was just kind of strange,” I admit as I drop my bag on my bed.

  “That girl is strange, so it shouldn’t come as any surprise.”

  “I get you two don’t like each other, you think she’s selfish, she thinks you’re hiding something, it’s just weird, but whatever, I don’t honestly care,” I snap, as I plop on my bed.

  “I’m hiding something?” Dani asks questioningly.

  “I don’t know, Lily said that,” I mumble, not even looking in her direction.

  “Hate to burst her bubble, but I’m not hiding anything, I don’t need to,” she states.

  “That’s fine, I didn’t think you were,” I say, hoping I didn’t just cause an issue with my roommate.

  “Do you think she wants something?”

  “I don’t know and honestly if she’s trying to get something out of me, that’s a lost cause. I can’t help her.”

  “Are you sure about that?” Dani asks.

  “What do you mean?” I ask as I turn to look at my roommate.

  “You and Evan are going to visit Owen soon, maybe she is going to see if you can help her with the Evan situation,” she says with a look.

  “I’m not going to mention it to her, I don’t want her to go along, and I know Owen doesn’t want her there.”

  “It’s just weird that you leave in less than two weeks to go visit him and she comes out of the blue today after a month of not talking to you at all.”

  “I know, but what can I say. She’s been busy and so have I,” I state truthfully, before turning and lying on my back, staring at my ceiling.

  “I’m just saying, be careful, she only seems to come around when she wants something.”

  “I know, I know,” I mumble, still staring at the ceiling.

  “I’m going to a study group, I’ll be back later,” Dani says suddenly. I look up at her surprised, but watch as she shuts our dorm room door.

  “Since when did Dani join a study group?” I think to myself.

  I spend the next two hours writing a paper that’s due tomorrow and just finish it when my phone goes off, alerting a text.

  Grabbing my phone, I click it on seeing a text from Lily.

  Lily- “Hey, did you get your paper done?”

  Me- “Just finished it.”

  Lily- “Awesome, did you want to grab a bite to eat?”

  Me- “Sure, what time?”

  Lily- “Ten minutes?”

  Looking at the clock it’s almost seven, deciding I need to eat and it sounds like a plan, I respond.

  Me- “Sounds good, meet you downstairs.”

  She doesn’t respond after my last message, but there’s no point. I still have my jeans on from earlier, so I grab a sweatshirt in case it gets chilly and head out the door.

  Heading down the stairs, I get to the lobby and see Lily already waiting.

  “Hey you,” I say as I approach.

  “You ready to go?” she asks.

  “Yep,” I say as we make our way out the door.

  We decide on pizza and head to the pizzeria that’s located right off campus. Neither one of us says much on the way over, and it feels odd, but maybe this is what we need. Hopefully, I can figure out what happened with our friendship, and how we went from best friends to hardly talking at all.

  We head inside and grab a booth, while we wait for the waitress to come.

  “So, there’s something I need to ask you,” Lily says shyly.

  “What’s that?” I ask, as I stare at her from across the table.

  “Have you talked to Evan?” she asks.

  “Not really, why?” I ask confused.

  “Didn’t you guys go visit your brother?” she asks, looking nervous.

  “No, he’s going soon, but I can’t go,” I lie. I don’t want her to tag along.

  “Oh.”

  “Why?”

  “I was hoping you would be able to talk to him and see where his head is at,” she says all serious.

  “If my plans change and I can go, I can, but Lily, you said so yourself, he doesn’t want to date because he doesn’t want to ruin your friendship. I doubt he would tell me any differently about the situation.”

  “So what, you think I should just move on?” she asks hastily.

  “I told you that earlier today. I don’t think you should continue to pine away for someone that may or may not want to be with you, when there are plenty of guys out there who would love a chance to date you,” I say honestly.

  “I don’t want anyone else, just Evan.”

  “Then talk to him, I don’t know what you think I could do to help you,” I state.

  “Wow, where is this coming from?” she asks out of nowhere.

  “Where’s what coming from?” I ask lost.

  “This attitude,” she says with angry look.

  “I don’t have an attitude,” I say softly.

  “Yes you do, and look Bay, just because Evan doesn’t want you, doesn’t mean you should try to push him away from me,” she says, shocking the hell out of me.

  “Excuse me?” I ask, not believing what I’m hearing.

  “You heard me. I can’t help it that he doesn’t look at you as anything more than his best friend’s sister, but as my best friend I would think that you would try to help me out,” she says rudely.

  “Evan and I are friends, I’m with Austin and I’m happy. I think maybe you need to give up on your fantasy of Evan and move forward with your life.”

  “Not a chance, he wants me, I know he does.”

  “Then why does he have a girlfriend?” I ask bluntly.

  “What?” she shrieks.

  “He has a girlfriend, has for a few weeks now,” I inform her.

  “Who the hell is he dating?” she asks, freaking out.

  “I’m not sure; I’ve only seen her once. I think her name is Tasha, but I could be wrong,” I say.

  “Oh my gosh, Bay you need to go along to visit your brother, I need you to find out as much information about this girl as possible, please for me?” she pleads.

  “He’s your best friend, just ask him,” I point out, realizing that Dani is right; Lily only wanted to meet because she wanted something.

  “I can’t just ask him,” she says, looking slightly irritated.

  “Sure you can, and since you guys are best friends, why do you not know this already?” I ask, deciding to call her out a little bit.

  “We don’t talk about relationships, ever since he said we should remain friends, it’s like an off limit topic,” she says bluntly.

  “Lily,” I say, looking directly at her, “If Evan says you should remain friends and he has a girlfriend, I think it’s safe to say that you can date whomever you want.”

  “Why are you saying this to me?” she asks with a cold stare.

  “I’m being your friend, why would you want a man that doesn’t want you?” I ask straightforward.

  “He does want me Bay,” she scolds.

  “Then you two would be together, instead, he’
s dating someone else.”

  “That’s just because he’s afraid,” she defends.

  “Evan Fields is not afraid of anything Lily, you damn well know that.”

  “You’re just jealous because he would pick me over you,” she snaps.

  “He doesn’t have to pick me; I’m dating someone, which is what you should do.”

  “Fine,” is all she says.

  “Fine what?” I ask, annoyed myself.

  “That’s what I’ll do, I’ll take your advice,” she says simply.

  “Good for you,” I say, hoping she actually does take my advice.

  The rest of dinner is just catching up, more like me listening to her sorority life. All I can do is nod my head and act like I care, when I could truly care less.

  Chapter Six

  Two weeks fly by and I’m saying goodbye to Austin as Evan and I get ready to go visit my brother for the weekend.

  Our relationship is going great, he’s truly a gentleman and I think he could be the one. I’m not trying to jump the gun or anything, but we get along great.

  “You ready?” Evan asks, as he stands on the driver side of the car.

  I pull away from Austin, “Yeah, I’m ready,” I say, never looking in his direction.

  “I’ll see you in a couple days,” Austin says as he leans down and kisses me chastely, not caring who’s watching.

  “Sounds good,” I say one more time to my sweetheart of a boyfriend. He opens the passenger side door for me, I slide into the seat and he closes the door. Evan doesn’t say anything, just waits. “We can go now,” I inform him.

  “Are you sure?” he says hastily.

  “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” I ask, confused.

  “You don’t need to make out anymore?” he asks bluntly.

  “You’re angry?” I ask.

  “No, just annoyed, I wanted to be on the road already,” he says, as he throws the car in reverse.

  I hook my seatbelt before he races out of the parking lot and onto the main road. Deciding it’s best to keep my mouth shut, I stare out the window. About ten minutes later, Evan starts talking.

  “I didn’t think you two were that serious,” he says as a statement, not a question.

  “It’s pretty serious,” I inform him, because we are.

  “Obviously, just be careful.”

  “Careful of what?” I ask, looking directly at him.