Here and Now

by T. Renee Fike

  “Of Austin,” is all he says.

  “What about him?” I ask, still staring at him.

  “He can be shady,” he says out of nowhere.

  “Shady how?” I ask, thinking Austin has been nothing but honest and upfront with me.

  “He just seems like he hides things.”

  “You’re the one who told Owen he’s a great guy, why the sudden change of heart?” I ask, calling him out.

  “No guy is a great guy Bay,” he says as he glances in my direction.

  “I get everyone has a past, but that doesn’t mean it defines them.”

  “You’re right, but to your brother, no guy is ever going to be good enough for you, especially Austin.”

  “What aren’t you telling me?” I ask, knowing he’s holding something back.

  “Nothing, I’m just saying, guys like Austin you have to be careful with.”

  “Guys like Austin? What the hell are you trying to get at?” I snap, feeling annoyed already.

  “Austin dates.”

  “Yeah, and he’s a relationship type guy, not your typical hit it and quit it type guy, or am I wrong?” I ask.

  “He does do relationships, you’re right, but he also cheats Bay,” he says solemnly.

  “Is he cheating on me?” I ask, wanting to know the truth.

  “As far as I know, no he’s not.”

  “Then what am I worrying about?” I ask.

  “Be cautious.”

  “You’d tell me if he was cheating on me, right?”

  “Yeah I would, after I kicked his ass,” he points out.

  “You don’t have to do that, but I would hope you would tell me.”

  “Are you two sleeping together?” he asks, not holding back.

  My mouth drops open, “Did you really just ask me that?” I ask, not believing my ears.

  “Yes, I did. I told your brother I’d keep an eye out for you and I’m doing that,” he says with a genuine look. I continue to stare at him in shock. “Well?” he says as he glances at me, waiting for an answer.

  “No, we aren’t sleeping together, not that it’s any of your business,” I state before crossing my arms, feeling angry we are even having this conversation.

  “I don’t mean to pry, but I want to look out for you, so I needed to know how serious you two were,” he says apologetically.

  “We’re serious, but I don’t just jump in bed with anyone,” I snap.

  “That’s good, don’t be that kind of girl,” he says, looking all serious.

  “So, how are things with you and your girlfriend?” I ask, wanting to change topics.

  “Eh,” is all he says.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It’s fine,” he says blandly.

  “You’re not really into her?” I ask.

  “She’s cool to hang out with, but that’s about it,” he says, as he continues to drive.

  “Then why are you dating her?”

  He glances over at me momentarily, “I didn’t realize once we started dating that she would become so clingy,” he says, with a look of disgust.

  “Oh, that has to suck,” I chuckle.

  “It’s not funny,” he says, looking all serious.

  “Then break up with her,” I state.

  “It’s not that easy,” he states, as he continues to drive.

  “Why isn’t it?” I ask.

  “She’s clingy and crazy,” he says, shaking his head.

  “Crazy…how?” I ask with a confused look.

  He looks over at me, “She’s talking about our wedding,” he says with a straight face.

  I burst out laughing, I can’t help it. Evan has been dating this girl for a few weeks and she’s already talking weddings, wow, just Wow! “You sure do move quickly,” I quip.

  “I’m not marrying her,” he defends.

  “Then what are you worried about? Break up with her and move on, it doesn’t seem like it’s that hard,” I point out.

  “She’s crazy,” he reiterates.

  “You said that, but I don’t think she would do anything, do you?” I ask, thinking she can’t be that bad.

  “She told me she doesn’t know what she would ever do if I left, then she said something about slitting her wrists,” he says, looking worried.

  “She wouldn’t do that, I’m sure it was just talk,” I say, hoping to ease his mind a little.

  “But what if she’s not?” he asks, looking truly concerned.

  I look at him, not believing the words that are coming out of his mouth, “Evan,” I say, causing him to glance in my direction, “You’ve been dating this girl for a few weeks, not even a month; if she were to do something stupid like that, it wouldn’t be because of you.”

  “But it could be.”

  “No, if she’s contemplating slitting her wrists then something happened well before you, but I would definitely suggest getting out of that relationship before it gets any worse,” I say with a smile.

  He starts shaking his head, “Thanks Bay,” he says, as we pass exit after exit, slowly getting closer to Maryland.

  The drive is around three and a half hours and thankfully, Evan and I get along and continue to have non-stop communication throughout the trip.

  “Oh,” I say as we are only about a half hour left on the trip, “Lily wanted me to talk to you,” I snicker.

  I can see him rolling his eyes from across the car, “What about her?”

  “Why do you act like a good friend to her if you can’t honestly stand her?”

  “Sometimes it’s just easier to ignore shit than cause drama,” is all he says.

  “Well, if it’s worth anything, I told her to move on and start dating, that you are in a relationship and happy,” I smile.

  He looks at me, thankful but annoyed at the same time. “Just tell her to move on, if she keeps bugging you to talk to me, tell her to do it herself,” he says, surprising me.

  “But you won’t tell her how you feel, or do you have feelings for her?” I ask, Evan getting more in depth than ever before.

  He stares at me like I haven’t heard a word he’s said, “I do not have feelings for her,” he says slowly but loudly. “She’s fine to deal with and I grew up with her because she lives across the street and our parents are good friends, but other than that no, I don’t want anything to do with her besides being friends.”

  “Good luck on that one,” I joke.

  He glances at me with a slight glare, “Then help her find a boyfriend, I thought that’s what best friends do,” he says bluntly.

  “I’ve told her to move on, and I wouldn’t say we are really best friends anymore.”

  “Why’s that?” he asks, calling me out.

  “I guess, I’m just seeing how Lily really is,” I say softly.

  “You mean, the self-centered, strives for attention, needy bitch that she is,” he says coldly.

  “Yeah,” I say solemnly, “I never realized how self-centered she was before.”

  “Bay,” Evan says as he looks in my direction, “She’s always been that way; she uses people to get what she wants and then tosses them to the side.”

  “But she’s not getting anything from me by being friends with me, so I just don’t get it,” I say, turning to stare out the window.

  “Maybe she truly is your friend. I’d just be surprised, but maybe you also know too much stuff about her for her to not be friends with you.”

  “Oh, but I would never use anything she’s ever told me against her,” I defend.

  “You wouldn’t, but she would. Bay, you’re a good person, she knows that, I just hope she doesn’t screw you over somehow.”

  “Well, like I said, we don’t really talk much anymore, and I’m okay with that,” I say honestly. I grab a bag of pretzels off the seat, rip them open and start eating them, holding the bag out for Evan. He takes a few and the rest of the drive is quiet.

  I can’t help but think if Lily does have a secret agenda that
I’m not aware of. Is she using me for something, or to get close to someone? I would have thought maybe Evan, but she’s closer to him than I’ve ever been, and she’s never been interested in my brother, so I just don’t get it.

  Thankfully, we arrive at the University of Maryland and park outside the house my brother lives in. He lives off campus with a friend of his, which makes it nice; we won’t have to deal with fraternities or TA’s.

  Before I can even get out of the car, Owen is opening my door, pulling me out to give me a hug.

  “Excited to see me,” I laugh, as I hug my brother.

  “He kept his hands to himself didn’t he?” Owen asks me, while glancing in Evan’s direction.

  “Yeah, why wouldn’t he?” I ask, surprised, my brother knows us both and we aren’t like that, though I can’t say I wish we weren’t.

  Owen and Evan start talking as we grab our bags out of the car and follow Owen into the house. The house has four bedrooms which are all taken. Luckily, one of the guys is out of town and I’m staying in his room for the weekend. I won’t complain about that.

  Walking into the house, you can tell that four men live here, the place smells like men and needs a good cleaning. I shiver at the thought of having to clean up after them.

  “Is everything alright?” Evan asks, as he starts to laugh, obviously noticing my shiver.

  “This place is a mess; couldn’t you have at least cleaned up?” I ask, looking directly at Owen.

  “I did clean it up,” he replies, causing Evan to laugh.

  “This place is a mess,” Evan concurs as he looks around.

  “It’s not like we have a maid or anything, you’ve got four guys living here, it’s bound to be dirty,” Owen retorts.

  “Clearly,” I say, as I move a shirt off the couch and take a seat.

  For the next two hours we talk and catch up; most of the time it’s me listening to Owen and Evan catch up and throwing in my two cents here and there. It doesn’t bother me, I’m happy to see my brother.

  Growing up, Owen and I really only had each other. Don’t get me wrong we have good parents, but with their professions, they didn’t always have time for us, which is why we are as close as we are today.

  Our father is a lawyer and mom’s a doctor, so they constantly worked long hours and barely had time to spend with us. So instead, we grew up with each other and had nannies, because you know, nannies can do it all. It just wasn’t the same.

  I love our parents and I know that Owen does too, but we wish we had more family memories with all of us together. Who knows, maybe it can still change down the line, it’s doubtful though.

  It’s Friday night and we head out to some parties, Owen introducing us to his closest friends at school. They all seem cool and similar to my brother, which doesn’t really surprise me. Around one, I see my brother’s mood shift and I know something’s going on immediately.

  “What happened?” I ask.

  “Nothing,” he mumbles.

  “Try again, who’s here?” I question.

  He turns and looks at me like I’m crazy, “Why do I tell you my personal shit?” he asks me out of nowhere.

  “Because you love me and I’m your sister, now what gives?” I state, as I stand there with my arms crossed.

  “Whitney’s here,” is all he says.

  I look around for this girl I’ve never met, but have seen plenty of pictures of along with hearing story after story about this girl. The girl that is known as Owen’s ex-girlfriend.

  “Clearly, you aren’t over her,” I state with a look.

  “No, I definitely am,” he defends.

  “You wouldn’t be so tense if that was the case,” I point out.

  “No, she’s a stalker, a crazy bitch,” he says, looking around to locate her.

  “I thought you said she could have been the one,” I remind him.

  “I thought that at one point, but not anymore. She is absolutely crazy.”

  “That’s her?” Evan asks, as he looks in the direction of Whitney.

  “Sure is,” he says.

  “She’s hot,” Evan points out.

  I look at her and I can’t help but agree. She’s tall, long dark, almost black hair, she has a perfect golden tan, and her body is to die for. She looks like the perfect model.

  “She is and she’s awesome in bed, but she’s fucking psycho,” he says with a straight face.

  “She looks perfect, so it only makes sense that she has some sort of flaw,” I joke.

  Just then she starts walking in our direction. “Hi Owen, who are your friends?” Whitney asks.

  “Whitney,” he says quickly, “What do you want?” he asks coldly.

  “I’m curious to know who these two are,” she says, as she looks between me and Evan.

  “It doesn’t matter who they are, you don’t need to know them,” Owen snaps.

  “Why are you being so rude?” Whitney asks, looking genuinely hurt.

  “I’m his sister,” I blurt out, causing my brother to glare at me, “And this is Evan.”

  “It’s nice to meet you two,” she says kindly, “See Owen; it wasn’t that hard, now was it?”

  “Again, you don’t need to know them, they aren’t here for you and you aren’t a part of my life. So, if you don’t mind, I’d appreciate it if you’d leave and let us get back to our conversation,” he says hastily.

  “Fine,” she says before walking away, not saying another word.

  “Why did you tell her who you were?” Owen asks me angrily, as soon as she’s out of earshot.

  “I figured it wasn’t a big deal,” I shrug.

  “It is a big deal, she’s going to hunt you down, try to talk to you to get back into my life, I don’t want it Bay,” he says, looking madder than I’ve seen him.

  “I won’t talk to her, I promise.”

  “I won’t either dude,” Evan says, hoping to calm the situation down.

  “If she tries to reach out to either of you, you both better fucking ignore her,” he says, looking between the two of us.

  “Got it,” I state quickly, while Evan nods in agreement.

  We stay at the party for another hour and it’s my turn to fetch the guys some drinks. Deciding, I’ve had enough to drink; I head towards the kitchen to grab them each one.

  “There you are,” I hear from behind me; thinking they have me confused with someone else, because I don’t know anyone here; I turn to find Whitney standing there.

  “Me?” I ask, hoping she wasn’t truly looking for me; Owen would kill me.

  “Yes you, silly,” she smiles. “You said you were Owen’s sister; he’s told me a lot about you,” she says. I nod my head, not sure what to say. “I was hoping I could talk to you.”

  “About what?” I say, keeping it short.

  “Has your brother said anything to you about me?” she asks, looking hopeful.

  “Not really,” I say, honestly.

  “Oh.”

  “I take it you’re interested in him?” I ask.

  “I am, I mean,” she stutters, “We dated, but broke up and I’m hoping we can patch things up.”

  “Oh, umm, I don’t think he’s looking to date anyone right now,” I say, trying to let her down easily.

  “He’s not?” she asks, looking confused.

  “No, he said he just wants to enjoy being single and playing ball along with school, he doesn’t have much extra time coming up,” I lie.

  “So I shouldn’t try to get him back,” she asks, looking at me for a truthful answer.

  “I wouldn’t, if you want to move on to date others, it would probably be best.”

  “Oh,” she says, looking upset.

  “I’m sorry, he can be difficult sometimes, but I wouldn’t wait around and pine for him.”

  “That’s good to know, thanks for the advice,” she says, before walking off without saying another word.

  I grab two beers and head back towards Owen and Evan. They are both staring at m
e, Owen looking angry.

  “What?” I snap, as I hand them each a beer.

  “Whitney, really?” Owen says.

  “She cornered me, but don’t worry, I told her you weren’t interested and to move on.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Yeah, you said you didn’t want her back,” I state.

  “Is she going to listen?” he asks, looking thoroughly excited.

  “I think so,” I shrug. I honestly have no idea what that girl would do, I don’t know her.

  “Thanks,” Owen says as he pulls me in to a half hug.

  “Anytime,” I joke.

  We spend another half hour there before deciding to call it a night. Walking back with Evan and Owen is hilarious, the girls keep catcalling to them, and all I can do is laugh. The guys grunt and moan the entire way back; at least they know how it feels when it happens to girls.

  “You two are worse than girls,” I say as I enter the house.

  “Why?” they say in unison.

  “Girls calling out to you, wanting you, I thought that was something guys thrived on,” I state.

  “No,” is all Owen says.

  “If it’s a girl you’re interested in, sure, but if it’s not, it gets old and annoying fast,” Evan says, surprising me.

  “It works the same way for girls, just so you two are aware,” I inform them.

  “We know, which is why we don’t do it anymore,” Owen says quickly.

  “Guys love attention though.”

  “It’s a good ego boost, but when it happens non-stop, it’s annoying as hell,” Evan says.

  “He’s right, girls aren’t supposed to be that open with shit, it’s just not right,” Owen states, as he shakes his head.

  “But it’s alright for men to be?” I argue.

  “No, it’s not, not like that,” Owen says.

  “Good to see you two have grown up,” I quip, smiling at both of them.

  “We had to do it one day,” Owen jokes.

  “Yes you did; off topic, when are you going home for Christmas break?” I ask.

  “Not sure yet, whenever we have break,” Owen states.

  “We have two months until break Bay,” Evan points out.

  “I know, but I was just curious,” I say with a curious look.

  “I’ll let you know when I know the exact date.”

  “You’ll have to come back early for ball, won’t you?” I ask, knowing how much my brother loves basketball.