Here and Now

by T. Renee Fike

  “I’m not playing,” he says, shocking the hell out of me.

  I feel my mouth hit the ground, “What?”

  “It’s not going to be my future, so there’s no point in trying to make it that way,” he says like it’s no big deal.

  “But you love it,” I add.

  “Yeah, and I get to play it whenever I want, but I’m just not playing it through the school,” he states hastily.

  I look at Evan, who doesn’t look surprised at all, “You knew?” I ask, looking directly at Evan.

  “Yeah.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask as I cross my arms over my chest, wanting a damn good explanation.

  “I thought I did tell you Bay, it’s not really a big deal.”

  “No, no, you definitely didn’t tell me you quit basketball,” I snap.

  “Well, now you know and it’s not a big deal,” he says as he walks towards the kitchen, obviously wanting this conversation to end.

  “What’s he not telling me?” I ask Evan as soon as Owen is out of the room.

  “Nothing,” he says with a straight face.

  “No, he loves ball, why would he give it up?” I ask, wanting to know answers.

  “College ball is different, it’s more demanding,” he informs me.

  “I’m sure it is, it is college after all,” I say.

  “No Bay,” Evan says, looking directly at me as he sits on the chair across from me on the couch, “It’s a lot more intense and everything is a competition. I love basketball, but it does take a lot of the fun out of it.”

  “But it’s ball, you guys love basketball,” I say, not quite understanding.

  “Being yelled at, doing drill after drill, longer if someone fuck’s up, and the hours, it’s exhausting. This way, Owen can play ball when he wants to play ball, he doesn’t have to fight for a spot, or to keep a spot and can just enjoy the sport.”

  “Do you regret playing?” I ask, curiously.

  “Sometimes, he’s much happier and I can see why, I’ve thought about doing the same thing.”

  “Wow, how come neither of you guys ever said a word to me?” I ask, feeling a little hurt being left out.

  “It’s a guy thing,” Owen says, obviously listening to our conversation.

  “A guy thing?” I ask, as he hands me a bottle of water.

  “I’m not a wimp, I could handle the stress and the schedule, I just didn’t want to anymore,” Owen says as he takes a seat on the opposite end of the couch.

  “Did you tell mom and dad?” I ask.

  “No,” he says with a shrug, “They won’t care, it’s not like they came to my games anyway.”

  “So what now?”

  “What do you mean?” Owen asks me.

  “If you aren’t going to play ball, what are you going to do?” I ask outright.

  “Focus on school, enjoy my college experience,” he says, like I should have already known the answer.

  “Thanks asshole,” Evan says jokingly.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll visit Bay and we will come watch you play,” he says.

  “Thanks,” Evan says with an eye roll.

  “We sure will,” I say enthusiastically. It’s weird, in all the years I’ve known Evan, we’ve never had conversations like this. Now that I think about it, Lily was usually at the house, so that makes sense.

  We end up talking before I decide to call it a night, leaving the two boys to talk about whatever they talk about.

  Chapter Seven

  The rest of the weekend is amazing, I love hanging out with my brother. Yes, I get it, it’s weird, but for us it’s not weird. He was pretty much all I had for so long because our parents were always busy. I’m thankful for him every day, because I don’t know what I would ever do without him.

  Sunday comes quick and Evan and I are loading up his car to head back to school.

  “We’ll figure out the next visit,” Owen says, knowing I’ll be looking forward to it.

  “Sounds good,” I smile as I give my brother a hug goodbye.

  “Call me when you get back,” he says softly.

  “I will,” I inform him.

  “Definitely will. Take care of my sister,” Owen says to Evan with the manly handshake thing they have going on.

  “I will,” he says.

  Back into the car we go for a few hours for the drive back. That’s the only part I hate about seeing my brother, I wish he was closer to my school. I get that three to four hours isn’t really that long, but it is a long ride.

  “That was fun,” Evan says as he pulls onto the road.

  “Yeah it was,” I say, as I look out the window.

  “Are you alright?” he asks with a worried look.

  “Yes, I just hate saying goodbye,” I admit.

  “You’ll see him soon.”

  “I know.”

  “I think you two are the closest siblings I’ve ever met in my life,” he says, surprising me.

  “Really?” I ask, shocked.

  He looks at me quickly, “You just went to visit your brother at college for the weekend Bay; I’d never have my sister come to school to stay with me for the weekend.”

  “Why not?” I ask.

  “For one, we aren’t that close, for two, she’s annoying.”

  “Owen and I are different, I know that.”

  “It’s pretty cool how close you two are, it’s just different,” he says.

  “I wouldn’t want it any other way though,” I admit.

  “Neither would he.”

  “He’s my best friend. I tell him everything.”

  “I know, he told me. Would you say you two are so close because of your parents?” Evan asks.

  I figured he would already know the answer to this, but he’s asking, so maybe he doesn’t. “Yeah, growing up with parents that are married to their jobs doesn’t leave much time for them to spend with us. Owen and I did everything together; he’s the one who taught me things that parents are supposed to teach you. Don’t get me wrong, I love our parents, but they weren’t there like they were supposed to be, like normal parents are.”

  “It makes sense. Your folks are nice, but I can definitely see the disconnect.”

  “From being parents you mean?”

  “Yeah, they don’t talk to you guys like most parents do,” he says with a solemn look.

  “No, they don’t. They talk to us like we are adults or business projects,” I say, hating to admit it, but it’s the truth.

  “Who knows, maybe one day they will change.”

  I can’t help but laugh, “That’s highly doubtful, but we’re used to it now, so it doesn’t matter.”

  “I’m not going to lie, I thought it was weird when I first became friends with Owen,” he says, catching me a little off guard.

  “Huh?”

  “The bond you two have, I thought it was weird, but he kind of explained it, the same as you did, and knowing him for years and seeing how he always watches out for you, I admire that.”

  “I watch out for him just as much and have saved him from getting into lots of trouble. I like to think that we help and watch out for one another.”

  He starts shaking his head, “You would, you are stubborn like that.”

  “Not stubborn,” I defend.

  “This was a great trip and I actually got to know you better than before. You’re a good person Bay, don’t let anyone try to change that,” he says sweetly.

  “I won’t,” I smirk.

  He starts to laugh, “I’m serious, Lily has a way of bringing out the worst in some people and also a way of making people feel bad, don’t ever let her pull you into that trap.”

  “You really don’t like her, do you?”

  “Not really, she’s just not a good person; all she cares about is herself.”

  “I’m not worried about her, I never have been.”

  “Why is that?” he asks.

  “I don’t know, she’s never tried to have me take sides on s
omething or do something I didn’t want to do, she’s never been that way with me. We’ve been friends for years and I’ve seen and I know some of the rumors she started, but not once did she ever do something like that to me. Our friendship may be different, but it works.”

  “You two are completely opposite of one another.”

  “I know, but we get along when we hang out, we have a good time, I don’t really know how to explain it.”

  “Just be careful, now being at college and she’s in a sorority, she could be the person that becomes someone different,” he says with a serious look.

  “We talk every now and then, but you’re right, things have changed since she joined the sorority and that’s okay, it’s pretty common for that to happen at college. If she ever needed me though, I’d be there for her, just like I know she would be there for me.”

  “Would she though?” he asks, looking worried.

  “She would be, I know it, she always has been and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.”

  Evan doesn’t say anything else about Lily and I’m thankful, I hate having to defend her all the time. I get it, they don’t like her. Hell, a lot of people don’t like her, but she is one of my best friends and has been for years. She’s always had my back when I needed her most and even being at college, I don’t foresee that changing.

  We get back to school around seven; Evan drops me off at my dorm.

  “Thanks for driving.”

  “Anytime Bay, have a good night,” he says as he closes the trunk. I watch as he gets into the driver’s seat and drives away. I can’t help but watch as he leaves, that man is one fine specimen.

  “Looking for something?” Dani asks from behind me, scaring the shit out of me.

  I feel like I jump ten feet off the ground, “What, no,” I say, sounding out of breath.

  “I take it this weekend went well,” she chuckles.

  “It went great,” I say, as I head towards the building door.

  “Fill me in,” she says, following right behind me.

  I give her the update on everything that happened and what we discussed in the car, even Austin. She finds it odd that Evan is all of a sudden cautious of Austin, but doesn’t say much about it. The rest of the night is spent hanging out with Dani, ordering Chinese and watching mindless television.

  Monday comes and before I even make it to lunch, I see Lily rushing over towards me. “Hey girlie, welcome back, how was your weekend?” she asks eagerly.

  “It was great, always a good time hanging out with Owen though.”

  Lily practically drags me to a bench to sit, so I can fill her in on how my weekend went. “I’m dying to know, how did it go with Evan?”

  “How did what go?” I ask hesitantly.

  “You were going to talk to him for me,” she says, reminding me.

  “Lily, he has a girlfriend. We didn’t really talk about you,” I lie.

  “Bay, you mean to tell me you didn’t find anything out for me?” she asks, sounding slightly irritated.

  “Sure I did,” I say honestly.

  “So spill it.”

  “Well I don’t believe he will be in a relationship much longer, they don’t really get along, but Lily, he told me that you and him are only going to be friends.”

  “Why?” she asks, looking bummed.

  “You two have known each other for years, and your families are close; I don’t think he wants that to change and it could if you dated and it didn’t work out,” I say, elaborating a little.

  “So he won’t give us a chance at all?”

  “He said that you should date other guys; that’s what college is for.”

  I watch as her face falls, but she throws a fake smile on her face anyway, “That’s his loss then.”

  “Yes it is. There are plenty of guys to date here, all you have to do is pick one,” I smile.

  Lily is a gorgeous girl, she really wouldn’t have a problem finding a boyfriend if she would just give someone a chance. She’s been so stuck on Evan for as long as I can remember. Don’t get me wrong, so was I, but there comes a time when you need to move on with your life and stop living in a fantasy world.

  “What are you doing tonight?” she asks bluntly.

  “Probably homework, why?”

  “We should go hit up a club or something, let’s do something different tonight,” she says excitedly.

  “It’s Monday night,” I point out.

  “So, you’ve been gone all weekend; let’s have a girls’ night out tonight.”

  “Alright,” I say, giving in.

  “Yay,” she claps and squeals in delight.

  “Where did you have in mind?”

  “Anywhere honestly, we can figure it out. How about I come by your room around eight?” she asks, as she stands from the bench.

  “That works.”

  “See you then,” she says before walking away quickly. I head back to my dorm room, deciding I’ll just hang out in my room until my afternoon classes start. I lay down on my bed to rest for a few minutes before worrying about the time.

  Sometime later I hear the door open, “Hey, what are you doing here already?” Dani asks me as she enters our room.

  “Huh?” I ask, groggily.

  “You are usually still in class when I get here, did your professor let you guys out early?” she says, catching me lost.

  I grab my phone to see that it says its 4:08 p.m. “Shit,” I shout, realizing I slept through my afternoon classes.

  “What’s wrong?” Dani asks with a worried look.

  “I came back here during lunch to hang out and I must have fallen asleep.”

  “And you’re just now waking up?” she asks, her eyes huge.

  “Yeah,” I say, not believing it myself. I never sleep in, and I never skip class.

  “Are you feeling alright?” she asks.

  “Just tired,” I say as a yawn creeps up on me.

  “Maybe you should try to get some more sleep; obviously your body needs it.”

  Yawning again, I decide she’s right, for some reason, I’m exhausted. I lie back down, close my eyes and I’m out.

  My phone wakes me up, when it doesn’t stop ringing. Grabbing it, I hit answer noticing that it’s Lily blowing me up. “Yeah,” I say into the phone.

  “You ready to go?” she says all cheery.

  “No, you just woke me up,” I say, feeling worse than I did earlier. I look around the room and see that Dani isn’t here either.

  “Are you okay?” she asks, sounding genuinely worried.

  “I don’t feel so good, Lil,” I tell her.

  “Unlock your door, I’ll come see you,” she says before disconnecting the call. I get up slowly, feeling dizzy as soon as I stand, I make my way to the door and unlock it before walking back over to my bed and plopping down on it.

  A few minutes later Lily walks in. “Oh honey, you don’t look good,” she informs me.

  “I don’t feel good,” I say, right before I grab the trash can beside my desk and throw- up.

  I look at Lily who is now sitting on my bed, watching me. She hands me a tissue, and I wipe my mouth, then she hands me a bottle of water, I take a large gulp before trying to talk. “I don’t think going out tonight is a good idea.”

  She starts laughing, “No shit, you’re sick. Do you have any medication to take?”

  “No.”

  “Alright, leave your door unlocked, I’ll get you something,” she says before she’s out the door. I’m not sure how much later it is when I hear the door opening, “I’m back,” Lily practically sings. “Oh Bay, you look horrible,” she says as she sits on my bed again.

  “Thanks,” I mumble.

  “Sit up,” she instructs. I do as I’m told, feeling extremely weak. She hands me a bottle of water again, this time with two capsules, I take whatever she gives me, hoping like hell they make me feel better.

  “Here are the rest of them,” she says as she sits the box of medication on my des
k, before leaning down and picking up my puke bucket. “I’ll get rid of this, because it’s making your room smell disgusting.

  I don’t argue, I don’t care, nor have the energy.

  “Bay, did you eat something today?” Lily asks me. I never even heard her come back into the room.

  “Yeah,” I mumble, never lifting my head.

  “What did you eat?” she asks.

  “I don’t know,” I say, feeling like my head weighs a ton.

  She grabs the menu’s looking through them, I hear her briefly on the phone, but can’t figure out what she’s saying. “Food’s ordered and should be here in twenty minutes.”

  “I’m sorry I can’t go out tonight.”

  “You need to feel better, there’s always another time we can go out.”

  See, I told you Lily isn’t a cold-hearted, vindictive bitch. She’s being a true friend right now and I couldn’t ask for anything more. I didn’t ask her to do anything for me, yet she is, that’s what friends are for, they help one another out.

  “Bay, wake up,” I hear lightly. “Wake up, your food is here.”

  I finally open my eyes, looking directly at a bag. “I got you chicken noodle soup and some bread,” Lily says politely.

  “Thank you,” I say as I try to sit up. It takes me a minute because I feel dizzy, but once I feel a little better I adjust myself and sit up leaning on the wall for support.

  “Here you go,” she says as she hands me the soup with a spoon, already open, ready to be eaten.

  “Thank you so much,” I say as I take a small spoonful of the soup.

  “You’re welcome and you don’t have to thank me at all. I hope you feel better.”

  Lily ends up staying over for a few hours to keep me company. After eating the soup and bread, I feel a little better, not much, but a little bit.

  “Oh hey,” Dani says, looking anything but happy when she walks into the room and sees Lily. “Why does it stink in here?” she asks, making a face.

  “I threw up,” I inform her.

  She looks around, “Where?”

  “It was in the trash can; Lily got rid of it already.”

  “Oh, are you alright?”

  “I just don’t feel the best.”

  “You don’t look so good either sweetie. Maybe you should try to get some more sleep,” Dani says.