Lawfully His (A Dirty Business Novel Book 1)

by Michelle Betham

  I hand her a glass of wine and throw myself down onto the couch. “It’s not like that, Kat. I want to be with him, I like being with him.”

  “All of the time?”

  “Yes, all of the time.”

  She takes a sip of wine. “That’ll soon wear off.”

  “So cynical, and not even married yet.”

  “Yeah, well, all I’m saying is, if something sounds too good to be true…”

  I throw her a look and she sighs and swallows down a huge mouthful of wine.

  “I’m sorry. I wasn’t getting at you or Evan…”

  “You were. And you do realize I’m marrying the man, tomorrow, so, it would be really, really nice if my best friend could maybe try and be just a tiny bit happy for me?”

  “It just… it all seems a bit too soon, Lola. I mean, it’s all happened so fast.”

  “It’s been almost a year, Kat.”

  “But you and Mike were together way longer than that before…”

  She clamps her mouth shut as I shoot her another, darker look.

  “Before he dumped me at the altar?”

  “That’s not what I was gonna say.”

  “And you’re seriously bringing Mike up? Tonight?”

  “I’m sorry. Lola, I really am sorry.” She bites down on her lip and I know she’s sorry. I just wish she wouldn’t keep doing this shit. It’s been almost relentless since Evan and me got engaged, and it doesn’t help. “Where’re you going?”

  “I’m going to call Evan.”

  “Isn’t that supposed to be bad luck?”

  “Yeah, well, I think I’m way past the point of superstition now. I just want to talk to him, Kat. Just for a few minutes.”

  “Lola, I really am sorry.”

  “Yeah. I know you are. Open another bottle of wine, okay? I won’t be long.”

  I go into mine and Evan’s room and sit down on the bed, crossing my legs up underneath myself as I pull out my phone and find his number on speed dial. He picks up after a couple of rings, and the second I hear his voice it calms me.

  “Hey, beautiful.”

  “Hey. Where are you?”

  “Still at the office.”

  “You’re working?”

  “Got a few things to finish off before tomorrow, that’s all.”

  “You sound tired.”

  “I’m okay, baby. I’d rather be here than alone in a hotel room. And what’re you doing talking to me, anyway? Shouldn’t you and Kat be drinking copious amounts of champagne and watching ‘Grease’ or ‘Mamma Mia’ or something?”

  “Because that’s all women do on a girls’ night in, right?”

  “Isn’t it?”

  “You’re such a dick.”

  He laughs, and I smile, and I allow my stomach a couple of tiny flips.

  “Seriously, Lola, what’re you doing talking to me?”

  “I just wanted to hear your voice, that’s all. I haven’t seen you all day, and I miss you.”

  “Yeah. I miss you, too.”

  “Promise me you won’t stay there too late, all right? You need some sleep before tomorrow.”

  “I promise. Now go have some fun. Go on.”

  “I love you, Evan. You know that, don’t you?”

  “I know. I love you too, baby. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

  “Tomorrow.”

  I end the call and throw myself back onto the bed, and I just lie there for a few minutes, staring at the ceiling, letting the sound of his voice fill my head.

  Evan King.

  My boss.

  My fiancé.

  My husband-to-be.

  My happy-ever-after…?

  Thirty-Six

  Lola

  I didn’t sleep much. I couldn’t. The nerves started to kick in somewhere around two-thirty in the morning which meant I spent most of the night lying awake, trying to imagine everything that could possibly go wrong today. My wedding day.

  “I look like crap.”

  “You look a little tired, that’s all,” Kat points out as she places a large mug of coffee down in front of me. “Drink that, and I’ll go make some bacon and eggs.”

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “Yeah, you are, you just think you’re not. Scrambled, fried or poached?”

  “Surprise me.”

  I pick up my phone and contemplate calling Evan, if only to make sure he actually did leave Cavendish King last night. But then I decide against it. He’ll be fine. It’s just me who’s a pathetic wreck.

  “Any second thoughts?” Kat asks as she places a plate of toast down on the breakfast bar.

  I look up at her, and I smile and shake my head. “No. I’m just nervous, that’s all. I’m allowed to be nervous, aren’t I?”

  “Yeah. ‘Course you are.” She goes back over to the stove to continue cooking those eggs. “But it isn’t too late, y’know? If you were having second thoughts.”

  “Can you stop this now, Kat? Please? I’m not having second thoughts, I want to marry Evan, I’m just consumed with nerves because some of the guests we’ve got coming today – some of them are pretty important people. What if something goes wrong?”

  “Nothing’s gonna go wrong.”

  I raise an eyebrow and bite into a slice of toast. “You know that for sure, do you?”

  She dishes up the eggs and bacon and slides a plate toward me. “Just stop worrying, okay? Grayson and Lyle won’t let anything go wrong, I’ve never seen two bigger perfectionists. I wish they were organizing my wedding.”

  “That’s half the problem, though, isn’t it? Nothing’s ever perfect.”

  She slides up onto the stool opposite me and picks up a rasher of crispy bacon, biting into it. “Do you want something to go wrong?”

  “No.”

  “Then shut up whining, eat your breakfast, and go grab a shower. Then we’ll start on your make-up and hair. And I don’t know why you didn’t want the professionals Grayson was gonna send over here to make you look beautiful.”

  “Because I want to feel like there’s at least an element of reality about this day, Kat. Okay? I wanted this morning to be just you and me – and Jess, when she gets here – getting ready. Just us. I didn’t want a houseful of strangers wandering around the place. All of this, it still doesn’t feel like me. It’s my wedding day. And for a little while I just want to feel like me.”

  “Yeah. I get that.” She leans forward and smiles at me. “Me and Jess, we’ll make you look beautiful.”

  “More beautiful,” Jess says with a wink as she saunters into the kitchen carrying two bottles of champagne and a large, pale pink cardboard cake box. “You doing okay there, Ms. Bride-to-be?”

  “She’s whining,” Kat sighs, rolling her eyes.

  Jess throws me a mock-stern look. “Whining? You’re about to marry one of New York’s most eligible men and you’re whining?”

  “All right you two, that’s enough. And I’m not whining. I just didn’t get a lot of sleep so it’s taking me a little more time than usual to get my brain into gear this morning, okay? Nobody’s whining.”

  Jess opens the box to reveal a selection of bagels and donuts. “Sugar and carb hit. Always helps.”

  I look inside and smile. “Thanks, Jess.”

  “Don’t mention it, kiddo. Any coffee going? And is that bacon?”

  She goes over to the stove and helps herself to some eggs and bacon and I take a sip of coffee and look down at my phone again.

  “You want to call him, huh?”

  I glance up at Kat and smile slightly. “Yeah. I do.” But I’m not going to.

  “He isn’t Mike, Lola. Evan is gonna be there.”

  I look back down, at the engagement ring Evan put on my finger. “I know. I’m just being stupid, it’s the lack of sleep.”

  “Drink that coffee, come on. And once we’re done here we’ll start getting you ready, okay?”

  I raise my gaze and my eyes meet hers, and I smile again. “Yeah. Okay.”


  “And you’re sure you’re…”

  I reach into the box Jess brought over, pull out a donut and shove it in Kat’s mouth.

  “Bitch!” she mumbles, pulling the donut from her mouth and taking a huge bite.

  I stick out my tongue and pick out a chocolate donut for myself. “I’m going to grab a shower and make a start.”

  “Yeah, well, eat that and you might still just fit into your dress.”

  “Who’s the bitch now?” I throw her a wink and a smirk and practically skip to the bathroom.

  In a few hours’ time I’ll be Mrs. Lola King.

  In a few hours’ time his promise will become a reality.

  I really will belong to him.

  *

  I look in the mirror and I feel tears start to prick the back of my eyes but I’m not going to cry. This day was obviously going to stir up memories of Mike and our wedding that never happened, but today will be different.

  “You told me your dress was off-white,” Jess says, cocking her head to one side as she looks at my reflection.

  “I lied. Sue me.”

  “You look amazing,” Kat sighs as she rearranges my hair, making sure it sits just right on my shoulders.

  “That dress really is beautiful,’ Jess agrees. “As is the woman wearing it.”

  “Yeah, okay, you can stop with the compliments. You’re starting to lay them on a bit thick now.”

  But I think the dress is beautiful, too. Long, white, and strapless, cut slightly on the bias with the tiniest of trains it’s simple; it’s perfect. And I’ve chosen to keep it simple, opting for no veil, and my shoes are high, elegant and strappy. The girls have given me minimal make-up, just like I asked, and the result is exactly how I’d wanted to look today.

  “Evan King is one lucky son-of-a-bitch,” Jess whistles, standing back to get a better look at the finished me.

  “I’m a lucky woman,” I say quietly, smiling at my reflection.

  “Right, well, I’m gonna go check on when the car’s getting here.” Kat finally leaves my hair alone and steps back from me. “More champagne, anyone?”

  “Oh, God, yes please,” Jess gasps. “And if there are any donuts left I’ll have one of those, too.”

  “You got it. Be right back, ladies.”

  “You okay?” Jess asks me, and I look at her, smiling slightly.

  “Yeah. I’m fine. I mean, I’m nervous, but I’m good. Why wouldn’t I be? I’m marrying the man I love, aren’t I?”

  “Are you?”

  The sound of his voice makes me spin around, and he’s standing there, in the doorway, all tall and handsome and my stomach dives so low I almost can’t breathe.

  “Mike?”

  Kat comes rushing into the room, looking more than a little flustered. “Lola, I’m sorry, I tried to…”

  “Did you tell him?” My voice won’t seem to rise above a whisper, and a mild panic’s starting to set in now.

  “No, Lola, I promise you…”

  “I told you I didn’t want him to know.”

  “She didn’t tell me, Lola.”

  I look at him, and I wish to God he wasn’t here. I don’t want him here. I don’t.

  “She didn’t tell me.”

  “Then who did?”

  He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t reply, and I glance back over at Kat.

  “Was it Eric? Did he say something?”

  “Lola, I swear, it wasn’t either of us.”

  Jess takes my hand and gives it a squeeze and I look at her, and she gives me a reassuring smile but I just feel sick. This can’t be happening, not today.

  “Me and Kat, we’ll get out of the way, okay? Leave you two…”

  “No! No, please, I don’t want you…” I refuse to let go of her hand, I literally squeeze it so tight she almost winces in pain. “I don’t want you to go.”

  “We’re only gonna be across the street, all right? We’ll go grab a coffee, give you a little bit of time. We’ve got a while before the car’s due.”

  She finally manages to wrench her hand free of my grip but I hitch up my dress and I follow her and Kat out of the bedroom, not even acknowledging Mike as I push past him.

  “I don’t want a little bit of time, I don’t want to be on my own with him.” I’m almost pleading with them as they head out into the hallway. “I don’t even know what he’s doing here.”

  “Well, he obviously knows about you and Evan getting married, so…”

  I widen my eyes as Kat leaves that sentence hanging. “So, what?”

  Jess gives my hand another gentle squeeze. “We’ll see you in a little while, okay?”

  I nod, but it suddenly feels as though everything’s starting to slow down, everything’s stopping, and I don’t want it to. I don’t want to feel sick to my stomach, I don’t want those nerves and that panic to take hold, but it’s happening.

  “I’ll meet you downstairs,” Jess says to Kat before she heads off toward the elevator. And then Jess looks at me, and the reality of the situation starts to sink in even more, and I’m scared now. I’m really scared.

  “Talk to him, Lola.”

  “I don’t want to talk to him, Kat. I want him to leave, I want everything to go back to how it was five minutes ago. That’s what I want.”

  She holds my gaze, and for a couple of beats she says nothing, she just looks at me. “Even if you make him go, Lola, you aren’t gonna be able to pretend he never came.”

  “I don’t want him here.” My voice is barely audible now, because I know she’s right. And that knot of nerves in my stomach pulls tighter.

  “Call us, okay? If you need us. And we’ll be back in a little while… Lola, it’s gonna be all right.”

  I nod blankly as she walks away, closing the door behind her, and for a few seconds I can’t move. It’s like I’m glued to the floor, but I know that’s just the panic kicking in. And I also know I can’t avoid this now, he’s here, and I don’t know why he came or what it is he wants, but I have to face him now. I just wish I didn’t have to.

  When I get back to the bedroom, I hover in the doorway for a few more seconds, just watching him. Stalling for time? Yeah. Of course I am. Because I’m not ready for this, how can I be? It wasn’t supposed to happen.

  He’s got his back to me as he stands by the window, staring out at the city below, his hands in his pockets, his jacket now slung over the back of a chair, and I move a little further into the room, but not too far. I stay by the bed, I move no closer.

  “Where’s it happening?” he asks, keeping his back to me.

  “The wedding?”

  He drops his gaze for a second or two before lifting his head and looking back out of the window. “Yeah. The wedding.”

  “Midtown Loft and Terrace.”

  “What time?”

  “Soon. The car’s supposed to be coming at two… Mike…”

  “You’re marrying the man you love…”

  He lets that sentence trail off, his eyes still staring straight ahead.

  “Who told you, Mike?”

  “It doesn’t matter who told me.” He turns around and his eyes meet mine and I feel a hundred things kick up inside of me that I don’t want to be feeling, not today. “But you aren’t marrying the man you love, Lola.”

  “I want you to go,” I whisper. “Please.”

  He shakes his head and briefly drops his gaze. And then he lifts his head and his eyes once more meet mine. “You look beautiful.” He walks over to me, and I can’t back away, I can’t go anywhere, I can’t move. So when he reaches out and touches my cheek I can’t stop him. It’s like I’ve seized up; my body’s just shut down. “So, so beautiful.”

  “Please, Mike…”

  He pulls away and steps back from me, bowing his head as he runs a hand along the back of his neck. “We made such a mess of everything, Lola.”

  “Please don’t do this now, Mike. Please.”

  He looks up, and the second his eyes meet mine I freeze aga
in, it’s like some invisible force is making me stay here and listen to him and I don’t know why. I love Evan, I want Evan, I need Evan.

  “I thought we’d moved on. I thought this… When I … when I last spoke to you, you said you had a girlfriend…”

  “I did.”

  “Did?”

  He shrugs. “It ended. Ran its natural course.” He takes a step forward, and I still can’t move, and I want to. I want to run; get out of here, go to Evan. I don’t want to be here, I don’t want this to be happening. “Jesus, Lola, you really do look incredible.” He’s right up in front of me again, and he cups my cheek and tilts my head back and he kisses me, and I try to push him away, believe me, I try, but then all those memories of our wedding day come flooding back and I close my eyes and let those memories break my heart, I let them kill me all over again. “This could’ve been us,” he murmurs, his mouth still resting against mine. “It could’ve been you and me, doing this.”

  I shake my head and back away from him. “Everything’s changed now, Mike. We had our chance, and we blew it…”

  “No, Lola, we didn’t blow it. You just chose him, that’s all. You loved me, you said that, remember? You loved me, but you chose him.”

  I narrow my eyes and I stare at him. “It wasn’t our time, that’s all. There was too much baggage, too much history.”

  He walks over to me, and even though I shake my head, I’m telling him I don’t want this, he slips an arm loosely around my waist and he pulls me against him, and the second he does that I feel almost defeated. I rest my head against his shoulder and I close my eyes, my fingers grasping his shirt, scrunching the material up in my fist.

  “We could’ve got past all of that, Lola.”

  I don’t say anything, I just stay there, in his arms, in my wedding dress. I stay there, and I breathe him in and I try to get my head around what’s happening here.

  “It was too much of a mess, Mike.”

  “No, baby, it wasn’t. We just kept on using that as an excuse. And then I did what I’m so fucking good at – I ran. I left. Again. I almost gave you permission to go to him, to stay with him…”

  He kisses the top of my head and I keep my eyes closed, my fingers scrunching his shirt up tighter.