Lawfully His (A Dirty Business Novel Book 1)

by Michelle Betham

  “I’m so sorry, Lola. For doing that. For killing us. A second time.”

  I don’t want him to say any more, I want him to shut up now. I want him to go. So why am I still here, in his arms? Why aren’t I pushing him away, demanding he go?

  “But it’s not too late. We can still get us back. We can still do that.”

  I finally let go of him and pull away, and I turn and walk back over to the mirror, checking my reflection. Do I look different now? Has his turning up here changed anything?

  He comes up behind me and kisses my shoulder, and I briefly close my eyes again as my stomach dips and dives. And then I open them, and I look back in the mirror, and his eyes meet mine and again I feel a myriad of shit kick up inside of me.

  I loved him, but I chose Evan.

  I loved him…

  Evan

  I told him. I had to. And I know he’ll go to her. I know he’ll try and talk to her, tell her he still loves her because that’s what he told me – that he still loves her.

  I look down at the ground as more and more guests arrive for a wedding I’m not even sure will happen, I can’t be one hundred per cent sure, after what I’ve done. I’ve thrown the ball back in her court now. But this needed to happen. She needed to face him one more time; she needs to make this decision. And she needs to do it now. Today. Right before this wedding. Our wedding. And I’m scared, Jesus, of course I am. I’m terrified she’ll choose him, that she won’t turn up this afternoon; that any time now Jess or Kat are going to walk in here and tell me she isn’t coming. What I’ve done, it could backfire spectacularly. But I had to do it. She had to go through this, to know for sure.

  “You look uncharacteristically nervous,” Dana points out as she hands me a flute of champagne. “Everything okay?”

  “I told Mike. That I was marrying Lola. She didn’t want him to know and I… I told him.”

  Dana raises an eyebrow as she sips her champagne. “I’m assuming you had a good reason for doing that?”

  “He needed to know, Dana. And she needed to face this head on, before she did something she might regret.”

  “Is this because of what I said? That she was still in love – that I thought she was still in love with Mike?”

  “Partly, yes. But I think, in the back of my mind, I’ve always known she never really did get the closure she needed. And when – if – she marries me, I want her to do it because she really does love me, not because she’s still trying to get over him.”

  “Is this not a conversation you, maybe, should have had with Lola before now?”

  I look around, and the place is filling up, it’s almost time. “No. All the talking in the world was never gonna help her reach the right decision. You can talk yourself out of or into something way too easily, we both know that. She needed to be faced with a situation that forced her into making the right decision. For everyone.”

  “Whatever decision she makes, Evan, somebody’s going to get hurt. And what if the decision she makes is the one that means you’re left standing here? Just as she was when Mike Carrington left her at the altar?”

  “I’ll get over it. I’ll move on.”

  “You make it sound so easy. You fell in love, Evan. You let those feelings in. And now you’ve left yourself wide open to all the shit that can happen when someone kicks you in the gut.” She finishes her drink and places the empty glass down on a passing server’s tray. “She makes the wrong decision, and you’re going to wish you’d done things my way.”

  I watch her walk away, into the crowd of guests, and I check my watch. And when I look back up I see Jess heading toward me but I can’t read her expression. But if she’s here…

  “Jess…?”

  She grabs a drink from a passing server and downs a huge mouthful.

  “Jess? Where’s Lola?”

  She looks at me, and she narrows her eyes slightly. “You know, don’t you? About Mike?”

  “It was me. I told him.”

  She raises an eyebrow. “You told him? To come here, today?”

  “I told him about the wedding. I couldn’t be certain he’d actually turn up. I left that decision up to him.”

  “Well, just to let you know, he did.”

  “Where is she, Jess?”

  “What the hell did you tell him for, Evan? Why didn’t you just leave it alone?”

  “Because it wasn’t finished.”

  “Why now? On your wedding day?”

  “That chapter, it wasn’t done, okay? And I need to know that it’s ended before this happens.”

  “Jesus, Evan…”

  “Is she with you?”

  “No. She’s still at the apartment.”

  I feel my stomach sink, and I briefly drop my gaze, closing my eyes. “Is he with her?”

  She stays silent for a couple of beats. “When he turned up, Kat and me, we gave them a bit of space. We guessed they needed to talk, and, when we went back over there, she told us to go without her. To come here, without her.”

  “Was he still there, Jess?”

  “Yes.”

  I breathe in deep and throw back my head, and I feel like I’ve just been kicked in the gut, a metaphorical punch that hurts like hell.

  “That doesn’t mean she isn’t coming, Evan.”

  Jess’s voice is quiet, and she rests a hand gently on my arm as I look at her. And I try to smile but I might have just made the biggest mistake of my life. I thought this was what we needed to do, but my thinking really may have backfired this time. I didn’t want to fall in love, I fought that shit as hard as I could but it was one fight I actually did lose. And now I might’ve lost her, too.

  “Evan?”

  I look up as Dana appears by my side again.

  “Everyone’s going into the wedding hall now.”

  “Yeah… Yeah, okay, I’ll… I’ll be right in.”

  Dana glances at Jess, who shakes her head, and I don’t want the pitying looks these women are giving me. I knew the consequences when I called Mike. When I told him about the wedding. I knew what could happen, if he came here. If he saw her.

  “Evan? Come on.”

  Dana takes my arm and I look at her. “If she doesn’t come, Dana, I’ll be fine. Really. Because I’ll know, okay? I’ll know.”

  “Look, Evan, I’m sorry, for what happened the other day. For saying those things, for pushing you to fall back into ways I know you’re trying to move away from. I wasn’t being fair. And I don’t know why I did it, I just – I guess I… I don’t know. I panicked. Everything’s changing, you’re changing, and it felt as though I was losing you.”

  “You’re not losing me. That’s never gonna happen. We’ll always be partners, that’s a done deal that can never be broken. You’re like family to me, so you’re never gonna lose me. But you – you deserve so much more than you’re allowing yourself, Dana.”

  “I can’t do it, Evan. Love. Commitment. I can’t do it. I’m scared of it, that’s why I thought you and me… I know what we are. I could handle us, but anything else, anyone else… I can’t do it, and I tried. I really did try, with Jack. But I couldn’t do it. Because I don’t think it’s something I even want. It takes up too much time, and I’m just not the kind of person who needs that in my life. I’m not. I know that now. I’m married to my work. It’s the only thing that matters to me.”

  “It doesn’t have to be that way, Dana.”

  “It’s what I want, Evan.”

  “So all those things you said to me, about wanting us to be a couple again…”

  “I was wrong. And I’m sorry, I had no right to say what I did, no right to confuse things unnecessarily. We are a couple anyway, you’re right. We’ll always be partners, in the professional sense. Always. In that respect, we kick the shit out of any other law firm in this city. The important thing is that we continue to keep doing that, no matter what.”

  I smile and lean in to quickly kiss her cheek. “Just be good to yourself every now and again, okay? I
t really doesn’t make you weak.”

  She returns my smile, and as we reach the top of the makeshift aisle we stop, and she turns to face me. “Why don’t you call her, Evan? Find out what’s going on. Spare yourself the pain…”

  “She’ll be here, Dana. If this is what she wants.”

  “And if it isn’t?”

  “Then I’ll accept her decision, and move on.”

  “You know that if she chooses Mike – you may never see her again, Evan, you know that, don’t you? She chooses Mike, and there’s every chance she’ll go back to Canada with him, so you – you may never see her again.”

  “I know that.”

  I knew that the second I picked up the phone to call him. What I did, I didn’t do it without going over every eventuality that could happen so, yes, I know I may never see her again. And I’m prepared for that.

  Dana kisses my cheek and squeezes my hand and leaves to go find her seat. I keep my back to the guests as they continue to file into the room, and I drop my gaze, looking down at the floor, my hands in my pockets as I wait.

  It’s all I can do now.

  Wait…

  Lola

  I’ve made the right decision. I know I have. It wasn’t easy, and I never want to have to go through that range of emotions ever again, not in such a short space of time. I’m not strong enough, I know that now.

  But I made the right decision.

  He’s the one I want. The one I need to be with. It was only ever going to be him. And as I look at him now, I know he’s everything to me.

  It wasn’t easy.

  But I made my choice.

  We’re together.

  Me, and him…

  Epilogue

  Lola

  I look up as he joins me out on the terrace, throws his jacket down over the back of a chair and walks toward me, sliding an arm around my waist as he pulls me a little closer.

  “Everything okay?” I ask, pulling him to me by his tie, until he’s close enough to kiss, his mouth brushing over mine ever so softly.

  “Everything’s fine. The meeting just went on a bit longer than expected, that’s all.”

  “You look exhausted.”

  His hand splays out in the small of my back, and he smiles, and I feel ridiculously happy. Do I have any regrets? Even the tiniest one, about the decision I made? No. I don’t regret anything. I knew then it was the right thing to do and I still believe that now, three months on.

  “I’m okay. Besides, we’re not going anywhere tonight, are we?”

  “No. We’re not.” I run my fingers down over his tie and tilt my head back as he kisses me again, and as he drops a hand to my thigh, sliding it up under my dress, he laughs quietly.

  “I love you for so many reasons, and this is just one of them.”

  I rest my mouth against his ear as I speak, my voice low and husky because he’s home, and I want him. “How do you know I haven’t been at work all day, like this, wearing no panties.”

  He groans quietly, and I feel his cock start to harden against my hip. “You’re a bad girl, Mrs. King.”

  “Well, if I get into trouble I know exactly where to find a good lawyer.”

  He arches an eyebrow and his mouth twists up into a sideways smirk. “A good lawyer?”

  “I didn’t marry you to boost your ego, Evan.”

  He smiles again, and then he lifts me up and swings me around and slams me gently back against the wall, and when he pushes into me I close my eyes and throw back my head and I take him, all of him. Because I love him.

  I chose him.

  Evan King.

  My boss.

  My husband.

  My happy-ever-after…?

  About the Author

  Michelle Betham is an ex-media technician turned author of hot, edgy, gritty romance, usually involving rock stars, sports stars, hot businessmen, and bikers. But not usually all in the same book. Yet. She is both self-published and published through HarperImpulse, a division of HarperCollins Publishers.

  Addicted to binge-watching TV dramas she struggles to think of a life before Netflix or Amazon Prime, loves rock music, tattoos, spicy food, superheroes (and that includes a particularly unhealthy obsession with Iron Man), and Keanu Reeves – a crush that’s lasted well over twenty years, and one she blames entirely on “Point Break”. The original. She refuses to acknowledge any remake exists…

  Her dream is to ride a Harley. And visit Las Vegas. And be able to eat any amount of chocolate without putting on weight.

  She lives in County Durham, north-east England, with her husband and West Highland Terrier, where she can be found most days drinking tea and making up stories.

  Contact Michelle

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