by C. J. Anaya
“I want you to do this with all four quadrants. Pivot north, then south and then east and west as you did before with no hesitation.” Once he was satisfied that I had the right footwork, he continued, “Northeast to quadrant five, then southwest to quadrant six. Then finish up with northwest to seven and southeast to quadrant eight.”
It wasn’t that difficult, and I easily slid my feet where they needed to be.
“Now, I want you to start from the beginning and do Hachi Kata, all eight quadrants, one thousand times.”
I dropped my hands and stared at him.
“One thousand times? How will I ever keep track of how many times I’ve managed a full circle? What if I lose my balance?”
Musubi gave me a wicked grin and chuckled softly.
“If you lose your balance, then you start over. If you lose count, then you start over.”
I gave him my best sour face and started at quadrant one. The movement of Hachi Kata was actually quite soothing. I wasn’t moving very fast—my clothing failed to help me on that count—but I was moving correctly. I found my mind clearing and my ki tuning into my body in a way it never had before. I felt peaceful…and happy. I truly felt happy.
Ouch!
I looked down and saw that I’d managed to stub my toe on a root upturned by my footwork.
“Start over,” Musubi said with a pleased smile on his face.
I sighed and began the process all over again, while the handsome warrior sat upon the earth and leaned back against the bark of a tree. Well, he certainly looked comfortable. Removing that satisfied smirk from his face would have been an enjoyable diversion, but I knew he must be testing me. I couldn’t fail no matter how many times I had to pivot and step, pivot and step.
I struggled to stay focused, sensing his beautiful eyes watching my every move. I lost count four times and stumbled twice as much. Every time I made a mistake he would happily call out, “Start over.” I must have completed a full circle more than the required one thousand times, but Musubi was relentless, and I refused to give up until I had managed to complete the circle one thousand times with no mistakes.
“I did it,” I managed to spit out. I folded my arms across my chest and dared him to tell me I hadn’t.
He just sat there with a wicked gleam in his eye. “Now do it backward.”
“What?”
“There will be moments when your attackers will come from behind, and you will have to defend yourself without hesitation. Instead of stepping forward you step back and pivot. Do that with all eight quadrants. You’ll complete the circle one thousand times.”
I couldn’t believe that this was the way he had trained Akane. I felt like he was trying to prove a point or discourage me from continuing on with this crazy plan of mine. He had no idea how determined and motivated I was to leave my former life behind me. I began the circle again, but moved slower going backward than I did going forward. I gritted my teeth and continued on. Fortunately, I only lost count once and only lost my balance twice.
My arms were tired and sore, but I wasn’t about to give up. Finally, I reached my goal, and gave Musubi a challenging look.
His smile only became more pronounced.
“Now combine the two, moving forward and backward, then forward and backward again. One thousand times.”
Furious, I resisted the urge to burn him with a scalding remark and bit my tongue, doing what he asked instead. It was much harder than I thought it would be, and I wanted to rip my kimono off, throw it on the ground and scream in frustration. Surely five hours had already passed. I felt like I had been doing this for an eternity.
I pushed the hair out of my face and shoved back the sleeves on my kimono. Formal princess wear was a ridiculous encumbrance. If I had been given any idea the kind of physical exertion I would be facing tonight, I might have dressed in some of Saigo’s clothing.
“I had hoped you might finish your first training session before next week. Can’t you move any faster?”
“I am having trouble with the movements because my clothing is hindering my footwork.”
Musubi stood up from his comfortable place by the tree, gave me an innocent smile and approached me.
“Allow me to fix that for you.”
Without giving me a moment’s notice or even asking my permission, he quickly ripped my kimono open and unwrapped it from my person, throwing it to the earth. It wasn’t tied with all of the extra accoutrements most formal kimonos had, so the removal of my clothing took less than a few moments. I stood, for all the world to see, in my underclothing! Not that they were terribly revealing. The black, cotton leggings covered me all the way to my ankles, and the top covered me all the way to my wrists, but the material was quite form fitting. There was nowhere for me to hide.
I was so shocked by his brazen behavior that I simply stood there staring down at my silk green kimono in a heap on the grass.
“I rather like you like this.” I looked up to see him eyeing me from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. “Yes, I do believe your underclothing suits you.”
“You are the most despicable…the most…I can’t believe you just ripped my dress off!”
“As your teacher, I am here to help you in any way that I can, and if your clothes are bothering you, it is my duty to strip them from your person.”
I snorted at this.
He raised his hand to his forehead in mock despair. “I’ll admit it is a heavy burden to bear, but for you I bear it willingly, and as your husband it would seem I’m the only man alive allowed to do this anyway.”
I spluttered something unintelligible. I honestly couldn’t form one word, let alone a complete sentence.
“Now that your movements will no longer be so limited, I want you to take it to a higher level and move a bit faster, like this.”
Musubi pushed me away from the center of my compass, placing me at the end of the line pointing north. He then moved back to the center. Advancing quickly, he stepped and pivoted, completing a full circle and ending right in front of me with his face mere inches from mine. I didn’t dare move an inch and felt myself breathing heavily.
“Eventually your movements will become just as fast. Your attackers will not come at you one by one. They will come two at a time, three at a time, in any direction they choose.”
He placed his hands on my waist and pulled me forward.
“Your body must do these movements so often that they become instinctive. You will not have to think,” he guided my waist backward, “you will not have to analyze,” he pivoted my body around, “you will simply know.” He pulled me with my back against his chest, his hands still at my waist.
I had never felt so exposed. The heat from our bodies mingled, and I could have sworn he breathed in the scent of my hair before continuing.
“I want you to add something different to the exercise.”
His breath on the back of my neck was making it hard to focus. He slid his hands up the sides of my body and my arms, raising them above my head, then he fisted my two hands together.
“You will do sword movements in order to prevent injury to your body. Raise your imaginary sword above your head with your arms bowed ever so slightly and then swing your arms forward and down to slice at your opponents and block their attacks.” He stayed tight to my body and pulled my fists forward and down, then brought my arms up again. Placing his hands on my waist he turned me to face him and my arms shakily dropped to my sides. After one intense moment of staring at one another, I rested my hands on his, hoping to remove them from my waist, but I found that I had only enough strength to apply a small amount of pressure. He responded by holding me tighter.
“You will do this movement with the sword every time you step forward, and then you will pivot.”
I nodded automatically. His voice and manner of teaching were hypnotizing my senses and keeping my body on high alert.
“You will complete the circle with the sword movements added…one thousand
times.”
I nodded again. I would have agreed to anything just to get a little breathing room, a little space between us before the rapid knocking of my heart against my chest gave my emotions away. I wasn’t the only one affected, it would seem. Musubi’s emotions battled against one another. His anger was a constant, his fear for my well-being was beginning to take precedence, and protectiveness and possessiveness warred with one another for supremacy.
He didn’t like what he was feeling, but he didn’t let go. He just stood there, considering me. I not only felt his emotions, but saw them playing across his face. I felt my body absorbing them—anger, hatred, pain, confusion, anxiety, fear…and hope. Then his face abruptly changed and the door to his emotions slammed shut.
I had to blink my eyes once or twice to clear my own head. When I looked upon Musubi again, he wore another playful grin on his face, and pulled me even closer.
“I do so like you in these undergarments.”
That was enough to snap me out of whatever spell his teaching methods had woven over me. I shoved him away, and he let out a huge laugh. I grumbled and stepped back into the circle, but my chest was still beating hard and my breathing was labored.
He had been right, though I was loath to admit it. I was much faster on my feet without the weight of my kimono, and although it took a while to coordinate the sword movements with my footwork and complete the circle at the same time, my speed gradually began to increase, and I accomplished the task he had set forth.
I looked at him as I finished and thought I saw a small amount of respect light his eyes.
“Now what?” I asked.
“To be perfectly honest with you, I thought you would’ve fallen down on the ground and quit by now. I didn’t think your body would handle all the exertion.”
He said it as a compliment, but I could tell he was troubled. I knew my body healed quickly, and I wondered if a normal individual would have been in worse shape. It was just one more thing that might reveal who I was, but it couldn’t be helped. I had already accomplished everything he’d asked without even considering the wisdom of doing so. Maybe I should have acted weak and frail, but the thought of Musubi getting the best of me made my teeth grind together.
“I never quit,” I responded.
“No, it looks as if you don’t.” He gave me an appreciative nod.
It was at that moment that Akane and Kenji came to retrieve us. Apparently, our torturously long training session had come to an end. I should have felt exhausted after the physical exertion and bombardment of emotions I had experienced, but I felt exhilarated. I felt as if I could continue training all night long.
“How did your first meeting go? I’m assuming you were able to learn at least one technique?” She quirked an eyebrow at me, but her question was more for Musubi’s benefit.
“She is a quick student. I believe we will get on well together,” Musubi said.
I looked at him in surprise. He had spoken pleasantly enough, but the stormy set of his eyes were telling a different story. He wasn’t going to lose face and give up, but then neither was I. I would learn to fight no matter what the difficulty of our trainings or the clash of our personalities presented. Besides, the thought of never seeing him again was an unacceptable alternative. I didn’t wish to contemplate it further.
“I am pleased that this partnership is already a success. Was it necessary to strip her to her underthings, Musubi?”
“A necessary evil, considering the restriction of movement the kimono caused.”
Akane nodded. “I’m sure you gave her fair warning before having her clothing removed?”
Musubi grinned. “Why don’t you ask her yourself?”
Akane gave me a questioning look, but I merely nodded, too tired to tattle on my handsome trainer.
“Mikomi, my men will escort you and Kenji back to your home.”
“Thank you, Akane,” Kenji said. “Your hospitality has been greatly appreciated,”
“I will contact you again when your training requires it or your services are needed,” she said, directing her comments to me.
“She will need to continue her training on a regular basis, Akane. She will have to return again tomorrow evening.” Musubi folded his arms across his chest and gave me a smug smile. I wondered if he thought I would refuse due to my sore muscles or an inability to steal away from my “well-to-do” family.
“That should be fine, so long as Kenji can convince my…parents that another educational excursion is necessary,” I responded quickly.
Musubi didn’t look disappointed, but he didn’t look pleased either.
“I hope you are prepared to work hard again. I don’t plan on being as lenient as I was tonight.”
So now he was going to torture me until I willingly ended my own training. He literally had no idea who he was dealing with.
“I look forward to exceeding your expectations,” I said. I gave him a smile so sweet he couldn’t possibly have failed to notice the insincerity behind it.
“Excellent,” Akane said. “I’m sensing a bit of healthy competition. Whom do you think will win this battle of wills, Kenji?”
“My yen is on Mikomi. Her high tolerance for pain is quite possibly the most disturbing thing I’ve ever witnessed. You don’t stand a chance, young warrior.”
Musubi gave me a fierce look. The smile that crept across his face was akin to that of some monstrous predator. It sent delightful shivers rushing down my spine.
“We shall see, won’t we? Until tomorrow, Mikomi. Unless of course the night’s physical activities have left you too incapacitated to stand for any real length of time.”
I gave him a withering look, but he merely laughed at me.
“Come, Akane. There is still much to be done.”
I watched as Akane waved goodbye and accompanied Musubi across the ruins and out of our sight.
I felt hollow and empty once they were gone. I knew it was ridiculous, but I wasn’t sure I would be able to wait until the next evening to see Musubi. I shook my head in frustration and tried to forget about the way he made me feel. It was a fleeting moment—nothing truly serious, nothing that had any real bearing on my future. I would forget about the warrior until I was forced to train with him, and then I would forget about him again.
Simple. Easy.
Yet somewhere deep within, I knew my heart was in serious trouble.
The next morning, Katsu summoned me a little earlier for my practice session. When the guards arrived at my door to retrieve me, I came close to telling them I wasn’t interested in learning anything more about the veil and that I refused to meet Katsu anywhere. I was still furious at the callous way he had treated that poor man, and I also wanted to behave a little more like Mikomi, samurai warrior in training, and less like The Healer.
Not to mention the grogginess I felt, having taken another sleeping draught the previous night at the insistence of my maid. Apparently, I had been thrashing about within hours of sleep, and Aiko nearly had to wrestle me to the ground to awaken me. It concerned me that my nightmares were returning, and that I had no recollection of them. The details usually stayed with me.
Once she was able to wake me, I had taken the draught and according to her, slept soundly after that. Afterward, she asked if I could remember any of my nightmares, but I couldn’t tell her anything. I couldn’t remember what they had been about. I’d felt angry and frustrated, wondering if my nightmares had been brought on by the stress of joining the rebels or enduring Katsu’s presence—or both.
To distract myself, I heartily teased Aiko about her new soldier I witnessed her walking with in the gardens. She turned several shades of red and stuttered so badly I had to assure her that I was happy for her and hoped she would continue seeing him. She still seemed a bit flustered by the subject and left the room in a hurry without helping me dress or even do my hair.
I felt exhausted, irritable, and painfully aware of how helpless I was when it came to grooming
myself. How could I possibly save the world when I couldn’t figure out how to put on my own kimono?
Needless to say, the last activity I wanted to participate in was another horrifying training with Katsu.
My good sense overcame my frustration, however, and I obediently arrived in the gardens just as Katsu wished. He stood with his hands clasped behind his back and a grim expression on his face.
At first, I feared he knew about my activities from the previous night. But how could he? Unless someone had been following us. I mentally shook myself, knowing I was expecting the worst when I needed to remain as positive as I possibly could. If I behaved nervous or skittish it would make him and anyone else watching me suspicious.
“Katsu,” I said, bowing deeply from my waist.
“You may rise, Mikomi. Please, there really is no need to be so formal with me.”
I gave him a shy smile and received one in return. He really was quite handsome. I knew I might have been happy with him if I desired to accept the future that had already been chosen for me, but I wasn’t my mother, and I couldn’t sacrifice my happiness only to become bitter and angry like she had.
“Walk with me,” he said, offering me his arm. We walked on in silence for a few moments, and then Katsu spoke again. “I must apologize for the way I handled our first session together. It must have seemed very wrong of me to give that man any hope of being healed when there was none.”
It surprised me that he would admit to being wrong. It wasn’t something I was used to.
“It pained me to see his hopes shattered,” I managed to say. All of a sudden I felt like crying. “I understand that you were trying to help me become more familiar with the veil, but there has to be another way.”
Katsu gave me a grim look. “Unfortunately, there isn’t. I promise you, however, I will not give anyone false hope. The woman I’ve brought to the palace this morning understands her illness is incurable but wishes to help you in your training. I personally explained everything in detail to her, and she agrees that nothing is more important than learning how to heal the veil.”