Margins and Murmurations

by Otter Lieffe

  I'm still weak and they're going too damn fast.

  A while later, they arrived at a muddy river channel that blocked their path. In the winter it must have been a fast-flowing river, but now it lay empty except for some puddles left behind at the bottom of the channel. Gus leaned against a tree on the riverbank to rest.

  Looking down into the channel, he saw that in one of the smallest puddles, barely two metres across, catfish gasped and flopped about, their whiskers and tails picked out in red by the light of the setting sun. Without rain, without the river, they were just waiting to die.

  “We have to do something,” said Sue. She looked over at Olly. “Are you with me?”

  “Of course.”

  The river bank was mostly dried out and it didn't take long for everyone to climb down into the flat river bed. Gus watched on in amazement as Sue walked over to the puddle of gasping fish and using only her hands, started digging a trench in the mud to connect their small puddle with one of the larger ones. Olly joined her and eventually, the whole shoal—except Gus, who stood watching them with a look of total confusion—were working hard to connect the puddles.

  After ten minutes, they stood back and watched as the water started to flow again and created one large pool that rose around the catfish. They soon stopped thrashing and disappeared below the surface.

  Sue smiled, rinsed off her muddy hands and, without a word, climbed up the other side of the river channel and continued on her way. The group followed her, and Gus came running after them.

  He cast a glimpse back at the pool, amazed.

  All that work for some lousy fish. They should have caught them for dinner!

  Still despite himself, he was impressed by this love for nature. In his life, Gus had barely seen people express love for each other, much less for a catfish.

  That’s the way things work, he thought to himself. Eat or be eaten. Survival of the fittest.

  And yet he couldn't deny it—what he had just seen had moved him.

  He began to ask himself if, in fact, there might be other options; if maybe what he knew wasn't the only way of living. His head busy with questions, Gus silently picked up the pace and followed the resistance members through the forest. After walking for a while, he caught an unmistakable smell in the air. A scent he didn't know how much he'd missed until he smelt it again. It was the smell of the sea.

  * * *

  Ash and Pinar paused at the edge of the park. About four hundred metres ahead of them, the grass dropped suddenly away into rocky cliffs and they could hear the waves crashing beyond. Gulls flew above them, calling loudly.

  “It's been so long, Pin. I wasn't sure we'd ever see the sea again.”

  “Admit it, Ash, you're just a little bit excited to be back here.”

  “Well…” she replied with a coy smile. “Maybe just a little.”

  * * *

  As fast as they could, Gus and the rest of the shoal picked their way across the Ring and reached the City's walls without any sign of the State. Sue moved some brush and stones revealing an entrance to one of the tunnels.

  As Gus climbed onto the ladder and began his descent, he realised that despite everything he had been through, everything he had survived, he was grinning.

  This is it. I've made it.

  And nothing on earth will stop me now.

  5. Dignity

  Chapter fifty-nine

  Dignity Park was alive. More than a hundred people gathered amongst the tall grass and, above them, clouds of starlings darkened the reddening sky.

  Danny went to find food, but Ash and Pinar paused near the edge of the grass. It was a beautiful evening and Ash wasn't ready yet to be around crowds of people. Sitting down on a warm rock, they took in the spectacle as thousands of birds flew above them almost as a single organism. They pulsed and grew and split and re-joined in perfect, complex synchrony.

  “I'd missed this,” said Ash. “I remember going years without seeing even a single starling.”

  “Me too,” Pinar replied. “I probably told you that a friend in my faculty was doing a study on their populations. She said that they went from being one of the most common birds in Europe to one of the rarest in a matter of decades. All because of industrial agriculture and pollution.”

  Above them, two clouds of birds joined into one and pulsed upwards.

  “Yeah…” said Ash vaguely. “You know people always talk about the crash like it's the worst thing that ever happened, but I doubt the starlings see it that way.”

  “I guess not.”

  “After Chernobyl, wolves, deer, moose and boar populations rebounded in the human-free exclusion zone. Despite it being one of the worst nuclear accidents ever. I mean, the radiation was a total ecological disaster of course but farming, forestry and hunting were apparently worse.”

  “I remember you telling me,” said Pinar, smiling. “Many times.”

  “Well…I still think it's a good story.” Ash poked out her tongue. “Anyway, starlings, how do they fly in such big groups? How can they possibly coordinate themselves?”

  Ash's question wasn't rhetorical. At the turn of the century, Pinar had worked and studied as a systems ecologist with a speciality in complexity and diversity. She was an expert on a lot of things and enjoyed sharing what she had learned.

  “Well, interestingly their flocks have what's known as scale-free correlation. Basically, if one bird changes speed, then it affects all the others in the group, regardless of where they are. Normally that's the kind of thing that happens just at the edge of criticality—like snowflakes before an avalanche.”

  “—Okay—”

  “In later studies, though, it was shown that when they change direction it only affects a starling's seven closest neighbours, then their neighbours and so on. Which is why we see ripples passing through the murmuration.”

  “Murmur what now?”

  “A flock of starlings. It's called a murmuration.”

  “Oh. I just call it a 'flock of starlings'.”

  “Anyway…” Pinar laughed. “You know they're really musical as well. Each male can learn up to twenty different songs and they mimic just about anything—human speech, cats, technology. Apparently, Mozart had one as a pet and it learned his Piano Concerto in G major.”

  “I heard one do a really good car alarm once.”

  “They're amazing.”

  “They really are.”

  They sat and watched for a while and soon the starlings began to roost. They landed in small groups on the highest branches of the park trees and disappeared into shadows.

  I wish they would just keep flying forever, thought Ash. But they're tired. Like me.

  “Distraction over,” she announced.

  “Let's go in?”

  Ash nodded and, holding hands with her best friend, she entered the park.

  They arrived at the meeting circle, sat down and took some food and tea offered to them by other resistance members. The mesa was scheduled to start in twenty minutes.

  Just enough time for a nap, thought Ash.

  “Can I?” she asked, lying down with her head hovering above Pinar's lap.

  “Of course, hon.”

  She lay her head down and fell immediately asleep.

  * * *

  Danny was poking a stick into the fire impatiently. Anxious to hear if his intel about Life Accounts had been verified, he stood up and walked around the park to distract himself. He came to an old gnarled tree and leaned against it to watch the whistling, squabbling birds in the branches above. Over by the edge of the park, he noticed someone was just arriving and was headed straight over to him.

  I'd recognise those heels anywhere.

  “Hi,” said Kit quietly as she arrived and gave Danny a peck on the cheek. “How's things?”

  “I'm great!” replied Danny enthusiastically. “Since you saved all our skins last night. Thank God for the sex workers, eh?


  “Yeah.”

  Her voice was so quiet, she was almost whispering.

  “Oh, and I have to tell you something. You won't believe who—”

  He paused for a moment to really look at her. Her eyes were bloodshot, her hair was less perfect than usual.

  By Kit's standards, she’s a total wreck.

  “Wait, are you okay?”

  “Not very.”

  “Sit down. Tell me everything.”

  They sat together by the tree. Danny could see she was close to tears.

  “It's Nathalie,” she began. “We met up this afternoon and she was…weird and crappy.”

  “Weird how?”

  “Well, she came over to my place. And we had sex. Soft, you know? Something different to normal and I dozed off for a while, and when I woke up she was totally angry. Stormed out, made a big drama.”

  “Wow, okay. Did she say anything? Like why she was angry?”

  “She wanted me to hit her.”

  Danny was silent.

  “She said I got what I wanted, and she had to get what she wanted. What does that even mean? I— I cried with her, Danny. I opened up, you know? Then she throws all this shit at me.”

  Danny put his hand on her knee. He had never seen Kit so upset over a girl before.

  “Is she coming tonight? Does she have clearance for the mesa?”

  “Yeah, I think it came through last night. Clearance that I got her by the way. It's fucked up. I don't even want to see her.”

  She cried then, sobs pulsing through her body while Danny held her close to his chest. They sat like that for a few minutes, the noisy starlings slowly calming above them as they settled in for the night.

  “Thanks.” Kit pulled herself up and wiped her face. “Well…” she said loudly and tidied her hair with a false smile. “That's enough of all that.”

  Danny looked at his friend with admiration.

  “Are you okay?”

  “It's fine—What's done is done. Anyway, we should get over to the meeting.” She pulled out a mirror and touched up her make up.

  “By the way, who did you come here with?”

  Danny pointed to where Pinar sat eating, Ash still dozing on her lap.

  “You found yourself some sexy grannies?”

  Danny grinned.

  “Actually, it's Ash and Pinar from the forest.”

  “The Ash and Pinar?”

  “Yep.”

  “Like the mythological A and P from before the Improvement?” Kit stood up. She started signing and speaking at the same time. “From the riots? The women that started this whole damn movement?”

  “Stop waving your arms around—they'll read you!” laughed Danny. “But yes, one and the same.”

  “I thought they were dead! They must be a hundred years old!”

  “Well…not quite.”

  “Wow. And they're still hot.”

  “I'll tell them you said so.” He spoke seriously again. “Let's talk more about Nathalie later, okay?”

  “I'm fine,” Kit said with a smile that was altogether too bright. “Let's move on. It's meeting time now and I know how much you love being in meetings.”

  Danny smiled. “Well try not to check out my grannies too much. And if you're good, I'll introduce you to them later.”

  “You'd better!”

  When everyone was gathered together in the tall, scratchy grass, the sky was already dark and the mesa finally began. First on the agenda was the eviction from the warehouse. Someone from the logistics collective, a black woman with short hair, was speaking.

  “We can't stay here out in the open,” she said in a worried tone. “Shoals are arriving every hour from the forest and the camp is already too visible as it is. We're sitting ducks out here.”

  Someone Danny vaguely recognised from the sex work collective responded.

  “In all these years, the State has never stepped foot in this park. They seem to have forgotten about this neighbourhood entirely. Besides, it's only for two days and then we'll be out of here. The only other option is the tunnels which isn't really an option at all.”

  “It's way too dangerous, we need to think of something else—”

  “It's fine. Stop worrying so much—”

  After half an hour of arguments back and forth and plenty of strong facilitation, the group reached consensus. As there wasn't anywhere else in the City to move so many people to so late in the day, the camp would stay in the park for the time being and the logistics collective would keep looking for other options.

  The meeting moved on to the most dramatic news. A resistance member in tight jeans stood up to deliver the report. They cleared their throat twice and began to speak.

  “Hi everyone,” they said, their voice carefully controlled. “According to sources, the Sett community was attacked by State troopers two nights ago.”

  The speaker paused for a moment to let the news settle in. They knew what they had to say next would come as a shock to everyone gathered. Taking a deep breath, they continued.

  “Some of the community managed to escape into the mountains, but we're not sure yet how many made it out. The rest were taken prisoner and are being marched towards the City. They may have already arrived, and we assume that they're being taken to prison. As you know, many of the community are exiliadas and a jail sentence would be very serious indeed.”

  Sitting at the edge of the group, Ash shuddered.

  I hate to think what a State prison looks like these days.

  Certainly the three times she had been arrested and put in the male prison hadn't been pretty. She reached out and took Pinar's hand. They both had dear friends in the Sett.

  Ash wanted to ask about her friend Elias, but before she could put up her hand, the speaker answered her question for her.

  “…According to a runner who was present for the event, but managed to get away unseen, one person was killed during the attack and the subsequent eviction.”

  The young speaker was still talking as unemotionally as they could. Ash saw that their hands were shaking.

  Just deliver the news. Keep your distance.

  “That person, I'm afraid, some of you probably know him…He was a mentor to so many of us. A resistance member for decades, a teacher and a fearless comrade—”

  “Who, who was it?” someone asked.

  The speaker blinked back tears and their voice broke a little. “It was…Elias. They fucking killed Elias.”

  Ash grabbed Pinar's hand tighter. She felt like she might throw up.

  Elias is dead. Jason, imprisoned. The Sett, destroyed. This is so much bigger than we were prepared for.

  Chapter sixty

  After the tragic news, Ash just wanted to go hide in the tent. She went to the fire to pick up some soup and perched next to Pinar, eating as fast as she could. Danny came over with a friend.

  “This is Kit,” he said presenting her proudly. Her hair and face were immaculate again and she was smiling. Nathalie hadn't shown up for the mesa. Danny hoped she'd have the sensitivity to stay away tonight.

  “Nice to meet you, Kit,” Pinar stood up for the four kisses. Like Ash, she was sad about the news, but she was an expert at maintaining her smile even in the hardest of times.

  “Nice to meet you,” said Kit, also smiling.

  Ash ignored them all and poked at her soup.

  “I told you about Kit,” said Danny, “She was the one who warned us all about the raid last night.”

  “Well, thanks,” Pinar sat back down, “For, you know, saving our asses. Did Danny mention that at the warehouse, he tried to strangle me and Ash nearly killed him?”

  Kit gave her a curious look.

  “Now that's a story I have to hear. I'll open us a beer and you can tell me all about it.”

  Kit dug around in her bag and pulled out a bottle. She opened it effortlessly on the edge of a rock. “We've heard a lot about you ladies.”
She passed the bottle to Pinar. “And Danny says you got to sleep in his bed. Not many can claim that privilege!”

  “Well, it was a bit of squeeze, but we all fit in the end,” Pinar joked, taking a swig of warm beer.

  “I would love to have seen that,” said Kit and they both laughed.

  Ash had checked out of the conversation completely. She knew she was being rude, but she was also in shock.

  How can they all chat and smile like that? Elias was one of my oldest friends, and now he's gone and there's nothing I can do about it.

  She wanted to leave. She wanted to curl up in the tent alone but she knew Pinar was in the mood to meet people.

  And it's not a bad idea to be making friends.

  One way or the other, Ash knew they'd be doing a major action together in the coming days and when that happened, these conversations, these social bonds, might mean the difference between life and death.

  Ash stared at the sky and listened to the sea. For tonight at least, Pin's charming enough for the both of us.

  “Looks like we finished this one,” announced Kit ten minutes later, waving the empty beer bottle and reaching for her bag. “I'll get us another.”

  “How you ever fit so much into that tiny handbag is beyond me,” joked Danny.

  “Well, we all have our secrets, dear.”

  Danny turned to Pinar and looked serious for a moment.

  The elephant in the room, he thought, and softly asked:

  “Pinar, I was wondering…did you know anyone at the Sett? I haven’t left the City in years, but as you live in the forest, I thought you might…”

  “Yeah,” she said. “We did.”

  “I'm really sorry to hear about Elias,” Kit said as she opened the beer. “I heard he was a great man.”

  Ash stood up abruptly and everyone felt silent.

  “He was a grumpy old bugger who hated everything and everyone!” Pinar could see she was on the verge of tears. “But yes, he was unique. There was no one like him and there never will be again.” Despite herself, she began to cry. “Sorry. Please excuse me.”