‘Why not? What’s stopping you?’
‘I… I have responsibilities… a business. There’s also Lucy to think about.’ I rambled on, trying to come up with a convincing list of reasons. Jack was having none of it.
‘That’s just you, getting in your own way. What are you so afraid of?’
‘I am not afraid.’ Liar! ‘I just don’t believe in letting people down. Don’t you have people who rely on you back home?’
He shrugged. ‘My company could run itself at this point, so, no, I don’t.’
‘What about friends? Or family? What about your parents?’
‘I don’t think my mum really cares what I do. After she remarried she kinda lost interest in me. Much more fun to be had spending my stepdad’s money. Poor guy.’
‘I didn’t realise your parents weren’t together any more. I’m sorry, Jack. When did they get divorced?’
Jack looked surprised. ‘He died, Abigail. About a year after we moved away. I thought you knew.’
‘I didn’t even know where you were. How could I have known about your dad?’
‘That’s right, you didn’t get my letters, did you?’ he said, sarcastically.
‘I didn’t get your bloody letters! I already told you. Are you saying you don’t believe me?’
‘No, I’m not, it’s just… I don’t know… I can’t believe no one told you anything about my trying to get in touch.’
‘It would appear there were lots of things I wasn’t told. You can just add that to the ever-growing pile.’
‘We moved up to Glasgow to live with some distant cousin of Mum’s. Dad got a new job, everything was going okay for about year and then he had a heart attack. Just dropped dead at work.’ Jack drained his glass and poured himself another; he gestured to my glass and I nodded. What the hell? I could worry about the hangover later.
‘I’m so sorry, Jack. I liked your dad. He was a nice man. Very responsible, like a proper dad. And he always came straight home after work without stopping for a pint or three on the way.’
‘He dragged your dad out of the pub and got him home lots of times. Do you remember?’ asked Jack.
‘Not really. But that sounds about right. I can recall them being friends although I can’t conjure up many details. I do have one vague memory. Both sets of parents sitting on patio chairs in our front garden, probably watching us while we played out on the street.’
‘Making sure we weren’t getting up to mischief.’
‘Probably. I think your mum was convinced that I was going to lead you astray.’
‘I wish,’ he said, giving me a flash of his near perfect smile and suddenly looking like your typical all-American hero. Good teeth, nice hair and broad shoulders could really do things to a woman’s libido. Before my traitorous brain started down that particular road, I changed the subject.
‘I do remember asking Mum about it when you all left. I thought she might know something. She just told me it was adult business and that I should keep my nose out.’
‘I got pretty much the same response from my parents. They always avoided talking about it. I guess when you’re a kid nobody really gives a crap about what you think. You’re just supposed to accept it and move on without asking too many questions.’
‘Amen to that,’ I said, raising my glass in salute. He clinked his glass to mine. An unfamiliar sense of peace settled over me. There was no denying that, sitting there with Jack, I felt more content than I had in weeks. But all the reasons I’d sent him away were still there, still squeezed in between us, no matter how closely we sat together on that back step. Nothing had really changed, had it? So, what was the point in letting myself get too comfortable?
‘Stop overthinking it,’ said Jack, as if he’d read my mind.
‘I wasn’t. I was thinking I should probably go inside and help with the clearing up. I can’t leave it all to Liz and David.’ I made a move to stand but he took my hand.
‘Don’t. Just stay here with me for a minute.’
‘What for?’
‘I like sitting here with you. Please?’
‘Why?’
‘Being around you makes me happy.’
I sat back down. ‘You didn’t look very happy the last time I saw you.’
He looked down at his drink; the silence stretched between us until eventually he looked up at me.
‘I’m sorry, Abigail. I shouldn’t have left like that. It was wrong of me to storm off like a bad-tempered teenager.’
I remembered the hurt in his eyes when I’d stopped him from kissing me in the kitchen that night and told him that nothing could happen between us. That memory was closely followed by another one – of how it felt to be kissed and wanted by him. I took another mouthful of wine to avoid having to speak.
‘The minute I left I wanted to come back, to apologise. I let you down, Abigail, and I’m so sorry for that. But I’m here now and I need you to know how I feel.’
‘Jack, please don’t… I can’t…’
‘Let me finish. I should have come back and told you all this weeks ago, but I didn’t know how to say it. Now I do.’
My heart was beating so fast I was sure he must be able to hear it. What the hell?
‘I have to have you in my life, Abigail, for me it’s that simple. I need it like I need to breathe. And if being your friend is the only way that can happen, then I’ll take it. I’ll take whatever you’re willing to offer, just please don’t send me away again. These past two weeks have been some of the worst of my life. To have you back and then have to face the prospect of losing you again was too much.’
I wanted to believe him but the man sitting next to me was a million miles away from the boy I once knew; I didn’t know this Jack, not really.
‘Who are you?’
He looked surprised. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I don’t think I can claim to know you anymore, not really. You’re a grown man, a man who’s obviously had a very interesting life that’s taken you a world away from here. So, I’m asking you – who are you now?’ If my comments upset him, he didn’t show it. Without missing a beat, he sat up straight, shook my hand and looked me right in the eye.
‘Hi, my name is Jack, millionaire businessman and sex god, at your service. And you are?’
‘Very funny, but I think you know what I mean. So much has happened, tons of which I wasn’t even aware of, apparently, so I don’t think we can claim to be friends, not really.’
‘Then let’s try. What do we have to lose?’
‘Nothing, I suppose. I just don’t want to give you any ideas, about this becoming something else. I’m not ready… I can’t…’ I stuttered nervously.
‘You don’t have to be frightened of me, Abigail. I would never do anything to hurt you.’
‘I know that.’
‘You have all the power here. We do this your way, whatever you need.’
I felt as if I should be the one to confront the designer-clad elephant in the room.
‘How does Lexie feel about this burgeoning friendship of ours?’
‘Lexie and I are no longer an issue. I told her it would be best if we stopped spending time together.’
‘And how did that go down?’
He shrugged. ‘It was fine.’
‘But she was in love with you.’ That was a statement, not a question.
‘I told you before, it isn’t like that with us. No matter what you seem to have convinced yourself.’
‘You’re still friends with her, though? I would hate to think I’d ruined that in some way.’
Jack smiled. ‘I’m sure we’ll stay in touch. Our parents will probably be more upset. I think they were hoping we’d get together.’ Jack laughed to himself. ‘Not out of any real desire to see us happy, mind you – for them it was more like a business deal. The young Internet sensation and the tech millionaire. A true romance story,’ he said, sarcastically.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said, and I genuinely was – sorry
for Lexie and for him.
‘That’s what makes you so unbelievable, Abigail. You care about everyone. Your kindness is limitless. You’re an amazing woman and I want that in my life. As a friend.’ He smiled that bright, slightly crooked smile, the one that still had the power to make my heart soar. As a friend.
‘All right,’ I said, ‘friends it is.’
‘Great. And my first duty, as your friend, is to ask who the hell was the goon in the hat at the service today?’
Egan. I’d forgotten him for a minute.
‘Terry Egan. A face from the past I’d rather forget, to be honest. He came to the house last night as well, making his presence felt.’
‘What does he want?’
‘I don’t know what he wants,’ I lied. ‘He’s the man that Dad was working for when he went to prison. A gang of them robbed an armoured security van. Dad went to prison and Egan buggered off to Marbella.’ I swallowed the last of my wine. ‘Still want to be friends?’
Jack reached for my hand.
‘You’re going to have to do better than that if you want to frighten me away.’
I relished the warmth that came from our closeness.
‘What are you two up to now?’ Liz reappeared at the door behind us and we both stood up. Jack was still holding my hand and I saw Liz glance at that and then take in Jack’s beaming smile. I rolled my eyes and groaned; if I knew Liz she was going to assume that something had happened, probably that we’d had sex amongst the cardboard boxes.
‘How are you both? Are you fine? You look fine.’
‘Yes, Liz, we’re fine,’ I said.
‘Um… well, then… that’s just fine, isn’t it? So… I’ll just be going back inside, then. I mean since we’re all fine.’ She turned quickly and nearly tripped over in her rush to get away. No doubt she’d be searching for Lucy so she could share the news that Jack and I had been up to no good in the yard. I shook my head ruefully.
‘What’s up?’ Jack asked.
‘Nothing. I need to go in and help clear a few things up.’
‘I’ll come with you. I’m a dab hand at doing dishes.’
I didn’t bother to explain that wasn’t really what I meant.
‘It’s fine. You don’t have to—’
‘Friends help, Abigail. Okay?’
‘Okay.’
Maybe this whole ‘friends’ thing could work for us, I thought.
Yes, of course it would; it was all going to be fine.
Chapter 21
The morning rush at the café, such as it was, was finally coming to an end; the queue of takeaway coffee drinkers had shrunk to two and, so far, the cappuccino machine had behaved itself. I had my back to the customers, wiping up spilt coffee grounds, when I heard a familiar voice.
‘Do you have any wheatgrass? Or maybe a ginger shot?’
I turned to see Lexie Morgan quizzing a bemused-looking Flo about our menu.
‘Grass?’ exclaimed Flo.
‘Wheatgrass. It’s very good for you.’
‘Grass is for cows, love, although there’s a patch of weeds out the back I could shove in a sarnie for you, if you’d like.’
Lexie wrinkled her perfect nose in disgust. ‘No, thank you.’
I took a deep breath and approached the counter.
‘Hello, Ms Morgan. It’s nice to see you again.’ Lexie looked me up and down, then gave me a sweet, if slightly condescending, smile.
‘I think your people could do with a few lessons in customer service.’ She looked pointedly at Flo, who ignored her and carried on serving the next person in line.
‘I’m sure Flo didn’t mean to be rude. Perhaps I can help you?’
Lexie stood for a long minute, examining the menu board on the wall behind me. Seeing her up close like this, I was struck by how young she was. She was dressed quite casually, a rich woman’s version of casually anyway. Designer jeans, a fine-knit jumper that hugged every curve perfectly and just screamed money, all perfectly accessorised with the requisite oversized tote bag. Her long blonde hair was loose around her shoulders and every now and then she ran a pristinely manicured hand through it. She was beautiful, there was no doubt about that, but now I could see her close up I realised that everything about her seemed so contrived. The clothes were just the right side of casual, the hair just tousled enough to appear as if she’d just thrown this look together, when the reality was that she’d worked very hard to look this laid-back.
Finally, she spoke. ‘I’ll just have a green tea.’
My heart sank – we didn’t have any green tea. She’d come to the wrong place if that was what she wanted. Despite being surrounded by an array of trendy coffee shops and eateries; Rosie Lee’s had remained resolutely ordinary. People came here for a strong brew, a slightly average cup of coffee or one of Flo’s famous egg and bacon sandwiches. I had no idea why they tasted so good; Flo would never divulge her secret. She’d told me that she would leave me full instructions for making them in her will.
I’d thought about updating the menu to fit in with the other places opening up around us, but every time I did I would hear Ted and Rose in my head. When they’d signed the business over to me almost fifteen years ago, this area had just been another run-down borough in East London. ‘People like to stick with what they know, love,’ Ted had said. ‘It’s a tried and tested recipe for success – stick with that and your loyal customers will thank you for it.’ And they had at the beginning. But I don’t think Ted or Rose could ever have envisioned the transformation that this whole area had experienced. Who knew – maybe if they’d still been around they might have been tempted by the lure of artisanal sourdough bread and small batch coffee roasting? I very much doubted it though.
Before I could apologise to Lexie for my café’s shortcomings, Flo piped up.
‘Right away, madam. I just need to fetch it – we keep it out the back. Only for special customers, you see.’ She scurried off, leaving me looking confused.
‘Anything to go with that? Cake? Or perhaps a croissant?’ I asked.
‘No, I’m good, thanks. Just the tea will be fine.’
She turned and weaved her way through the empty tables, taking a seat at one by the window. Where was Flo? After her comments about feeding Lexie weeds in a sandwich, I was filled with dread at the thought of what she might try and pass off as green tea! I went to the kitchen and found her rifling through her shopping bag.
‘Don’t tell me you’ve got a box of green teabags in there, because I won’t believe you.’
‘Don’t be daft. There was a sample one stuck inside the magazine I was reading this morning. Here it is!’ Flo held up the page and ripped the sample bag off.
‘You’re a genius.’
‘I’ll stick it in a cup, you can slice a bit of lemon to go on the side. That ought to keep her happy. Who is she anyway?’
I opened the fridge and pulled out a rather shrivelled-looking old lemon. ‘She’s a friend of Jack’s. I’m not sure what she’s doing here.’ I dropped the lemon slices onto the saucer that Flo handed me. ‘Oh, bugger, what if she asks for a second cup?’
‘We’ll just reuse this one. This stuff tastes like cat’s piss at the best of times – she’ll never notice. Do you want me to take it to her?’
‘No, it’s fine, I can manage. What would I do without you?’ I dropped a kiss on the top of her silvery head.
‘I’m indispensable, what can I say? It’s a curse.’ She grinned widely, and I made my way out to Lexie. She was engrossed in something on her phone, so I just put the cup and saucer down and started to walk away.
‘Would you sit down for a minute? I have some things I’d like to talk to you about.’
I turned back to her as she switched off her phone and put it into her bag. ‘It won’t take long.’
‘Sure, why not?’ I pulled out the chair opposite and sat down. Lexie leaned back in her seat and looked around. ‘It’s cute, your café, very… um… authentic.’
‘
Thanks, I think.’
‘Jack told me you’ve lived here all your life?’
‘Pretty much. I grew up in a house just down the road.’
‘Wow. That’s amazing. And you never felt the need to move away? Y’know, see the world and all that?’
‘Bit tricky. What with this place and my daughter to think about.’
‘Oh, yeah, that’s right. Jack told me you had a kid. That’s cool.’
I had to smile – Lexie was only a few years older than Lucy. I wasn’t sure of what to say next. I fidgeted a bit; why did I feel so uncomfortable?
‘I’ve always wanted to come to London. It’s so exciting. That’s why Jack brought me. I nagged him about it for so long. He gave in so I’d shut up about it.’ At the mention of Jack’s name, a warm smile spread across Lexie’s face. My heart sank to my knees; she was in love with him. I could see it in her eyes.
‘Have you and Jack been friends for a long time?’ I asked.
‘Since I was about thirteen. Jack’s stepfather was in business with my father. Our families would get together quite a bit. You know the kind of thing. Barbecues, Thanksgiving, Christmas. The usual.’
I nodded and silence fell again. I could see Flo wiping out a mug and sneaking surreptitious glances across at me.
‘I really should get back to work. The dishes won’t wash themselves,’ I said, making a move to stand up.
‘No, please, just wait a minute. I really do need to talk to you.’
I sat back down and decided to broach the obvious subject myself.
‘Look, Lexie, I’m sorry if my friendship with Jack has upset you. There’s no reason it should – it’s two old mates catching up, that’s all.’
She considered this for a minute then said, ‘I think we both know it’s more than that, Abby. At least it is for Jack. I know him. The way he lights up when he talks about you. It’s pretty obvious how he feels.’
She had this totally wrong. ‘We’re friends, good friends. I’ve known him for a long time. We have a shared history. He’s obviously feeling a bit nostalgic about being back here. That’s all it is.’
Lexie shook her head. ‘It’s not just that. That’s why I wanted to see you. To tell you to be careful with him.’
Secrets and Tea at Rosie Lee's Page 22