Winter

by Michelle Love

  “I know,” I say and drop a kiss on her cheek. “But I kinda like carrying you around.”

  Her giggle fills my heart and I hope she feels as excited as I do about having a baby. I put her down, and she goes into the bathroom. I sit and wait for what seems like forever. The door opens, and she’s frowning. “What’s wrong with me?” she asks with a pout on her pink lips.

  “Let me see it. I want to be sure you’re reading it right.” I take the stick out of her hand and look at it. My mouth drops open and I look up at her. “You little minx!”

  She loses the fake frown and has the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on her. “I fooled ya!”

  I grab her and twirl her around. “You’ve made me so happy!”

  “You’re gonna be a daddy!” Her arms are tight around my neck.

  I finally stop twirling and sit on the edge of my bed, keeping her in my lap. “I love you, Lexi. Now will you consider marrying me?”

  “I’ll think about it,” she says with a grin. “But I don’t want some over the top thing. Just something small and only family there.”

  “Whatever you want that’s how it’ll be,” I say and move her off my lap so I can get something I’ve been dying to give her. “Wait right here.”

  Taking a black box from my top dresser drawer, I go back and get on one knee. Lexi’s eyes are already getting glassy. I open the box and the light hits the enormous diamond engagement ring I bought all the way back before I took Lexi with me to the children’s home and introduced her to my house mother. I was going to propose to her there, in front of Mom, but she got pissed at me and I felt she’d tell me no, so I didn’t do it then.

  “Alexis Mathews, will you do me the great honor of becoming my wife, forever and always?”

  Tears flow over her pink cheeks and her lips quiver. “Yes,” she says and my heart overflows with joy.

  She extends her left hand and I place the ring on her finger. I had to have it adjusted since she lost so much weight, but it fits perfectly. I pull her up into my arms and she breaks into sobs and takes me on the damn emotional journey with her. “This is so amazing, Max. We’ve both almost died, and I was such an idiotic person and I thought I’d never see you again, but I did and we made up and you didn’t marry Kate like I thought you did,” she pauses and I think she might stop her rambling. Then her mouth lands on mine and she’s kissing me.

  I kiss her back as our tears mingle on one another’s cheeks. Then she pulls her mouth away from mine. “Let’s go tell Marcos and Kate!” she says.

  I let her go and grab a couple of tissues off the nightstand. “Damn it, girl, you got me cryin’ too!”

  She laughs and I have to laugh too. “We’re going to be a real family, you and I. I can’t believe it!” she says and breaks into sobs again.

  Is this how it’ll be for a while, a cryfest?Alexis

  The air is warm as we walk back into the mansion after going to see Marcos and Kate and telling them our good news. And they shared theirs with us, as our angel, Kate, is pregnant too and they’re jetting off to Vegas to get married, then off to Paris to do it over there too.

  Max holds me close to him as we make our way to the kitchen to tell our news to Hilda. As we round the corner, we see Sissy in the kitchen and Hilda’s frowning at her. “Sissy, are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

  “I am. Stop askin’ me that,” Sissy says as she grabs a bag of frozen peas from the freezer and holds it to her left arm.

  “What’s happened?” I ask as I break away from Max and go to Sissy. I take her arm and move the bag to find a bloody spot along a very swollen and blue vein. “Sissy, what happened?”

  She jerks her arm from me and places the bag back on the injury. “Nothin’ I can handle this!”

  “Hey! Watch how you talk to her,” Max says with a stern tone.

  I shoot him a look I hope he realizes means to be more compassionate with her. “I’m not saying you can’t handle it, Sissy. Maybe we should take you to the doctor is all.”

  “I don’t need anyone’s help. I’ve been taking care of myself a long time and made it just fine!” she says then stomps out of the room.

  We all stand in stunned silence, then Max starts to go after her. “No!” I say and he stops. “We aren’t letting that stop what we came to tell Hilda.”

  Hilda wipes her forehead with a dish cloth. “You came to tell me something?”

  Max smiles and takes me by the waist, then grabs my left hand and holds it up. She spots the ring and her hands go to her mouth. “Oh! Finally!” She hugs us both then steps back and smiles. “You’ll be so happy together.”

  Max kisses my cheek. “I know, and there’s a bit of bad news for you.”

  “Oh! If you’re talking about me making a fabulous engagement party or a wonderful wedding reception, don’t worry. I already have the whole plan figured out. I made it when Lexi came home from the hospital. You will both love it.”

  “Well, it won’t be enough,” Max says.

  “I beg your pardon?” she asks and her hands go up in the air. “I beg you to remember I worked for the president of Mexico for a time and I know how to throw a party.”

  “Did you ever throw a baby shower?” he asks.

  She stops throwing her hands around and stares at me. “No!”

  I nod and she runs and grabs me up in her little arms. “We’re having a baby,” I say.

  She lets me go, and she’s beaming. “Finally, I have a family to feed. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.”

  Max laughs. “Glad we could help you out with your dream, Hilda.”

  Hilda moves back to the counter and pulls out a notebook. “Oh my, I have so much work to do. I have to make up a diet for you, Lexi, and of course I have to start on healthy foods for the baby. I will make all the baby food, no preservatives will ever go into the child. So much work, so little time. A baby shower menu. My, my.”

  With a tug on my arm, Max says, “Come, we must give her space to make recipes for the future baby, Lane’s we have.”

  I look at him as he pulls me to him and holds me at my waist. “Tell me, Max. Now that your mother knows who you are, will you change your name back to Randy?”

  “No way!” he says. “That dude is gone and has been for a long time.”

  As we walk to the main living area we pass in front of the staircase which leads up to the other wing that his mother has her room in. A loud crash comes from up there and we look at each other, then move quickly to see what happened.

  Max

  A crashing sound led Lexi and I up to my mother’s room and we found her passed out on the floor. Her arm is bleeding and as I look around, I see a needle half full of some black stuff. I pick her up and lay her on the bed. She’s like a rag doll and Lexi grabs her cell and calls 911.

  After she gets the ambulance coming, we comb the room, looking for what else she has in here.

  “See!” I shout. “This is why I didn’t want her here. This is one of the best damn days of my life and she’s fucked it up!”

  “Calm the bippety, boppety down, Max!” Lexi says. “Our day isn’t ruined. Nothing can ruin this day.”

  My mother begins to flail about on the bed and Lexi runs to grab her before she falls off the bed. Her eyes open as Lexi grabs her by the arms.

  “Who are you?” she screams. “Get the Hell away from me!”

  In slow motion, my mother’s legs pull up and I break into a run, trying to move Lexi before she’s hurt. Her legs jut out and Lexi flies back as she’s kicked in the stomach. Lexi lands on the floor with a thud as her hands go to her stomach.

  “No!” I scream as I fall to my knees beside her.

  I watch in horror as Lexi can’t take a breath. The kick knocked the wind from her. Her eyes lock on mine and panic fills them. Then I feel something slam into my head.

  Alexis

  Beeping machines fill the air around me as Max, Sissy, and I were all taken to the hospital. Sissy had busted Max’s head open
when she hit him with a lamp. I began bleeding from her kick to my stomach and probably have lost the tiny fetus which had just begun to grow inside me. Oh, yeah, and apparently Sissy is back on heroin.

  I really regret saying nothing could ruin this day because I couldn’t have been more wrong.

  Sissy wails as she lies in the bed on the other side of the curtain from mine, “Just kill me!”

  As horrible as this sounds, it might be for the best. Max and I have treated her so well. He’s given her everything, and in hindsight, her own credit card may have been a mistake. Heck, her own car was one, that’s for sure.

  I got him to take her in, give her that car, and I even got him to give her a credit card.

  I’m so ding dang naïve!

  The doctor who stitched up Max’s head pulls the curtain between us back and I look at Max as he rubs his hand over the back of his head. I stand up and go to see how it came out. I find that they had to shave a small patch of his gorgeous hair. “Don’t worry, you’re still devastating.”

  His hand goes to my stomach and moves over it. “And you?”

  The doctor puts his hand on Max’s shoulder. “We’re about to give her a pregnancy test, we’ll have those results shortly. I don’t want you to worry, no matter what the results are. There’s no reason Lexi can’t get pregnant again if she did lose the fetus.”

  I kiss Max’s cheek, and a nurse takes me by my arm. “Come with me and let’s get some urine and find that out for you.”

  I wave at Max as I’m lead away. His frown is making my heart ache. The nurse gestures to a door. “I know the drill,” I say and walk into the small bathroom.

  A small cup sits on the counter and when I go to fill it up I see I’m no longer bleeding which is a good sign in my opinion. I look up and say a little prayer, then wash my hands and make my way out and back to Max.

  He’s sitting up, sipping on a clear, bubbly liquid. His mother still moans on the other side of where I was. The doctor walks out of her little cubicle and frowns. “I need to discuss something with Max about his mother.”

  “I’ll give you privacy then,” I say.

  Max shakes his head. “No, you come here and we’ll decide things together. See the ring on her finger, Doc? She’s about to be my wife and we do everything together.”

  The doctor nods and I go stand by Max. “Your mother needs to be placed in a rehabilitation program. We have a few here in Houston, but to be honest, there are better ones out of state. Would you consider placing her in one?”

  “I don’t want to take her back to our place, that’s for damn sure,” Max says.

  I look at him and his face is pinched in a way I’ve never seen before. “Out of state means we’d most likely not be able to see her very often. Don’t you think having family around would be better for her?” I ask.

  The doctor looks at me. “She’s bad off, Lexi. Frankly, I’m surprised you want anything else to do with the woman after what she did to you.”

  “Me too,” Max says and gives my arm a squeeze. “How much more does she need to do before you realize she’s a lost cause?”

  I’m in shock at how Max is talking about his flesh and blood. “Max, that’s your mother.”

  His head shakes. “She’s not anyone I want in my life. I sure as Hell won’t have her around our children.”

  To say I feel great sadness at his words is an understatement. “No one is a lost cause. That woman brought you into this world, and she has problems. It’s a family’s job to help each other in life. I hope you can come to find some type of love for her in your heart, Max.”

  “Send her to one of the out of state programs. The best one you can find,” Max says as he looks at the doctor. His eyes turn back to mine. “That’s all I’m going to do for her for now. If they can fix her then we’ll see, but that’s all for now, Lexi.”

  The nurse comes in and the smile on her face tells us the news is good. She gives us a thumbs up and Max laughs. “So we’re still good?”

  “She’s still pregnant,” the nurse says. She hands me a piece of paper. “You’ll need to follow these steps for the next few days. Stay off your feet and things like that. No intercourse for a week.” Her eyes go to Max’s and I blush.

  “Okay,” he says. “Tell her. She’s the sex kitten.”

  I slap his arm and go deeper red. “Max!”

  Everyone laughs, but me.

  Damn man, embarrassing me like that!

  Max

  In the dark room, I hold my love and run my hand over her flat stomach. Our child’s heart still beats despite my mother’s actions. A deep intolerance for her fills me. Lexi is adamant we must help her as she’s family, but I disagree. The woman never helped me do a thing, so why should I help her now?

  Sissy had been quiet as a guest in our home until she went off the deep end. I can’t find the love for her Lexi says that I need to be a whole person. Lexi has become so different since nearly dying. Compassion flows through her like blood. This is awful to admit, but I find it annoying.

  I want Lexi to agree with me that Sissy is not someone we should want in our lives, or our children’s lives. Not only am I embarrassed by her, but she’s down-right dangerous to have around us. How much damage could she do to our children?

  If we’d lost the baby, I doubt I could’ve found it in me to even send her to rehab. Let the state care for her, or whatever, just like she did me. My heart pounds as I think about losing what I’ve wanted since the day I met Lexi. That woman could’ve taken that from me along with the childhood she stole.

  No, I don’t see ever letting her back into our lives, no matter what Lexi thinks. She didn’t have to live that life, I did. She’ll never understand that kind of neglect and what it does to a person.

  Alexis

  The room is dark and I feel Max’s arms around me. His even breathes let me know he’s sleeping soundly for the first time in a while. With the arrival of his mother, he hasn’t been the same man.

  I know she hurt him, but he just has to get over the past and deal with her in the present. The poor woman has such a bad problem. It rips at my heart to see any person in such a state, but the mother of my true love, well it’s a lot to bear. The woman will be this child’s grandmother. How could I not be compassionate about her?

  To be honest, I’m not entirely happy with how Max is acting. It’s not like him, and he told me in the very beginning not to let him become something he isn’t. How am I to stop him though?

  I’ve no control over how he acts or thinks. The task he set for me is not one I can accomplish. It’s too much to ask of another person, in my opinion. I pray that Sissy finds the help she needs at the rehab facility he sent her to in Washington.

  Perhaps if she can get better then he’ll see fit to let her be a part of his family. The fact he thinks he can pick and choose his blood relatives is something I find more than a little upsetting. What if one or more of our children have problems with drugs or alcohol abuse? Would he go so far as to disown them? Help them no more?

  It’s hard to think he’d ever be that man, but he’s showing me he could. We finally got to a place where we were uber-happy and excited about our future. How come life can’t be easy for the two of us?

  Other people fall in love with ease. Like Marcos and Kate. They fell in love and instantly everything fell into place for them. She is pregnant now, and they are already married. Life is just moving so much easier and faster for them than it is for us.

  Maybe we aren’t meant to be together, it’s obviously too late to change that now, but will our lives always be so difficult. The good Lord knows I’ve struggled with this thought for far too long.

  I run my hand over my stomach and the see-saw in my brain shuts down. We’re having a baby, so none of that matters anymore. We are going to be a family no matter how hard the road is. We’ve taken off on it and there’s no turning back now or ever.

  It’s a forgone conclusion Max and I will marry soon and all the d
oubts will be laid to rest once and for all. This man doesn’t believe in divorce and to be honest I don’t either. I love the man with all my heart and will deal with all which comes with him. For our family’s sake.

  Rolling in his arms to look at him in the darkness, I run my fingertip lightly over his high cheek bone that’s highlighted by the dim light. He’s such a beautiful man and I am more than lucky to have him love me.

  My hand flows to his chiseled chest and I place it over his heart, feeling his heart beat. It’s slow and steady and I know it beats for me and this child I’m carrying. He looks so peaceful as he sleeps. Not like the expression he wore after his mother’s incident. At one time, I was afraid he was going to strangle the woman.

  His caramel colored lips beckon me to kiss them and I leave a gentle kiss on them. He moans a little and wraps his arm tighter around me. His breath is warm on my face and my heartbeat increases as I begin to ache for him. What this man does to me is unreal.

  I know we can’t do anything physical and turn to stop my libido from overacting. I simply can’t look at him and not want him, it’s impossible. He pulls me into him and snuggles into my back, his face buried in my neck.

  Ugh! He’s making me hot and crazy!

  I wiggle away from him as he grasps at me. It’s too much to take and I need a drink of water or something to calm me down.

  Blasted gorgeous man!

  Off to the bathroom I go to wash my hot face and try to bring my heat down to a dull roar. As I run a cool washcloth over my face I notice the ache in my lower regions is not going away. As a matter of fact, I’m wet and seem to be getting wetter.

  A cold shower I guess it will take to stop this nonsense. I turn on nothing but cold water and pull my nightgown over my head then drop my panties on the floor.