Redemption (Forgiven Series)

by Brooke, Rebecca

  I tried to walk away, but this was too important. I needed to find Lauren tonight. I walked down the hall and pounded on their door, and the noises stopped.

  “Angie, put your clothes on and come out here, I need your help,” I shouted through the door.

  “Go away, asshole,” Caleb panted out.

  I started pounding on the door again. “Not until Angie comes out here and helps me.”

  When I didn’t get an answer, I played with the doorknob. “If you don’t come out now, I’m coming in. You guys can finish later.”

  “Fuck! You’ve got to be kidding me,” Caleb yelled.

  I continued to play with the doorknob. “Hold on, we’re coming.”

  “You wish you were,” I mumbled, under my breath because I knew I’d probably pushed Caleb to breaking point and didn’t want to push him any further.

  A few moments later the door flew open to reveal both Caleb and Angie, still out of breath. Angie’s face was flushed. “This better be good,” Caleb snarled at me.

  I looked over his shoulder at Angie. “I need you to help me find Lauren.”

  Her eyes were as wide as saucers. “Wh-wh-what?” she stuttered, looking to Caleb to explain.

  I sighed. “I messed up tonight and I need to find Lauren to fix it.”

  Her eyes flicked back to Caleb again, but he was too busy scowling at me. “Okay, but you do realize that it’s the middle of the night? Do you think it’s really a good idea to do this now?” I nodded and Angie stepped around Caleb to grab my hand. “I need to hear what happened tonight. Let’s go sit in the living room and figure this out.”

  Caleb still looked like he wanted to beat the shit out of me, but my main goal was to find Lauren and talk to her so he was just going to have to get over it. Once we reached the living room I saw Caleb head into the kitchen, while Angie and I sat down on the couch. I leaned my arms on my legs and dropped my head into my hands. How could I have been so stupid?

  Angie placed her hand on my shoulder. “What happened? I’ve never seen you like this.”

  Before I could answer, I felt something hard and cold hit me in the head. I looked up to see Caleb standing there holding a bottle of beer out to me. Okay, maybe he wasn’t that pissed.

  “Thanks, man,” I said, taking the beer from his hand. I took a long swig while I tried to figure out how to tell Angie she was right, without totally pissing her off. Placing my arms back on my legs, I dropped my eyes to the floor. I couldn’t look at them while I admitted what an asshole I’d been.

  “Nick, Andrew, and I hit the Pixel Lounge tonight. The minute I walked in the door I saw this blonde that I thought would be my hook up for the night.” I stopped when I heard Angie gasp. I threw my hands up in the air. “I know what you’re thinking, just let me finish.”

  She nodded, but didn’t look completely convinced. I shook my head and sighed. “All right I’m not gonna lie, my goal tonight was to get laid.” I didn’t need to tell them that it was to get Lauren out of my head. “But while we were dancing, I saw Lauren at the bar talking to some guy and it pissed me off, but I wasn’t sure why it should piss me off. She wasn’t different to any other girl I’ve slept with…”

  Too afraid to look at Angie I saw Caleb out of the corner of my eye, leaning back in the recliner. Hands behind his head and his feet crossed at the ankles, he had a ridiculous smirk on his face.

  All that did was piss me off. Like things already weren’t bad enough, I didn’t need his crap. “What?” I snapped.

  That only made the smirk grow bigger. “Nothing, this all just seems so familiar,” he chuckled.

  Time was short and I wasn’t in the mood for his cryptic bullshit so I just glared at him.

  “Knock it off, Caleb,” Angie scolded.

  “What?” he asked innocently.

  She rolled her eyes before turning back to me. Even through all of the stuff going on in my brain, I had to smile slightly at how far they’d come since last year. She looked at me expectantly, so I continued.

  “The whole time I was dancing I tried to figure out why it mattered so much what Lauren did.”

  Caleb just sat there shaking his head, while Angie had a look I couldn’t even begin to describe on her face. She took hold of my hand. “For a smart guy you really are an idiot sometimes.”

  Ignoring both of them I continued. “When we finally left the dance floor and headed to bar for a drink I still hadn’t figured it out.” I dropped my head back into my hands. For the first time in my life I was ashamed about what I’d done.

  “Before I knew what was happening, she pulled me back by the bathrooms—”

  “Oh my God! Please tell me that you did not have sex with her in the bathrooms at the club.” The disgust and contempt was evident in Angie’s tone and I’d have known she was pissed, even if I hadn’t seen the look on her face.

  “No!” I exclaimed. “Would you let me finish!” When neither of them said anything, I went on. “As I was saying, she pulled me back by the bathroom and kissed me.” I paused. Damn, this sounded so messed up. What the hell was I thinking?

  “Well,” Angie asked exasperated.

  I looked up into her eyes. “I didn’t feel anything. Nothing! That’s never happened to me before. The longer she kissed me, the more I compared her to Lauren.” Hearing Caleb chuckle, I looked over in his direction. “Really, you can’t be a little supportive, asshole? I was there for you the whole time you screwed it up with Angie.”

  “That’s why it’s funny. Here you sit, realizing the mistake of not following your own advice. I figured it out and so will you.”

  “Yes you did figure it out,” she said, kissing him on the lips.

  Although I’d never admit it out loud to them, I’d always been a little jealous of what they had, but the thought of having a relationship had never crossed my mind… until now. Lauren was the first woman I thought I might have the chance of finding happiness with.

  “Well, I realized that Lauren was the first woman I wanted for more than one night, but when I went to find her she’d already left. Emily said she had gone home but refused to tell me where she lived.”

  That caused Angie to giggle. “Let me guess she wants you to think about it and put in the work to prove that you really want her.”

  “Something like that,” I muttered.

  “So, let me get this straight, you messed up royally with Lauren tonight, and in your need to fix it you decide to interrupt my night with my fiancée just so you could find her and do… what?” Caleb asked, while running his hand up and down Angie’s back.

  “Pretty much, yeah.” I ran my hand through my hair, frustrated. “Look, I don’t know where to find her or how to fix this but I knew that Angie would.”

  Angie smiled. “You’re right, I do know how to fix this, but I’m not telling you until you admit that I was right all along and that Lauren was more than a one-night stand.”

  I groaned. I knew Angie was either going to be pissed or be in an “I told you so” mood. This wasn’t going to be easy to admit, since I’d only just managed to admit it to myself.

  “Fine, you were right. When I woke up that morning and she was gone, I was hurt. I was hoping she’d still be there in my arms in the morning. For crying out loud, I went out to try and forget her tonight.”

  Angie looked over at Caleb and kissed him again. “I think we have to help him, especially since he just admitted that I was right. And you know how much I love to be right,” she smiled.

  He smiled back at her and took a hold of her hands. “Okay, so how do we fix this? Any ideas?”

  She peeked back at me. “I have one idea, but I’m not sure you’ll like it.”

  “I’ll do anything,” I pleaded. I wasn’t about to let Lauren get away. I wasn’t sure where things might go, but I knew I needed to give it my best shot.

  She looked me straight in the face. “It might require groveling.”

  Groveling? In the back of my head I’d known it might com
e to that. “Groveling I can handle.”

  “It’s going to take more than groveling, though… that’s just the first step. Step two, is an amazing first date,” she said using her fingers to count, “which is something you’ve never done before. And, finally, you’re going to need patience.”

  “Patience? Why?”

  She looked at me sadly. “You forget that just last week she caught her boyfriend cheating on her, and my guess is that she left tonight because she didn’t want to watch you dance with some other girl.”

  When I started to say something about not cheating on Lauren, that it was something I would never do, Angie cut me off.

  “I know you wouldn’t cheat, but I know the real you—not the man-whore that runs around screwing anything that breathes. Unfortunately, the man-whore is all Lauren knows you as, especially since, for all she knows, she was just another notch on your bedpost,” she offered.

  I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the back of the couch. Even though I didn’t like what Angie was saying, I knew she was right. I dug this hole myself. If I had to be patient, then that’s exactly what I’d do. “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  The shock in her voice wasn’t entirely unexpected, but this was something I was committed to and I was determined to not screw up again.

  “Yes, okay. Now how do I get in touch with her?”

  “I could give you her number, but I don’t think that will work. Knowing Lauren, she just won’t answer. To be honest, I think she’s embarrassed about what happened between the two of you,” she admitted.

  Why in the hell would she be embarrassed about sleeping with me? If that was the case than what was the point in any of this.

  “What?”

  Angie flinched a little at my tone and Caleb sent me a clear warning look. She tried quickly to explain. “She’s not embarrassed about you… more about how she acted that night. It was completely out of character for her so, naturally, she’s mortified.”

  I was speechless. She was amazing that night, it just made me want more of her. Angie tapped her forefinger on her chin, lost in thought.

  “I’ve got it!” she exclaimed. She looked so excited that I was a little afraid to ask what she had in mind. Caleb must’ve have noticed the look on her face too because he started laughing.

  “Good luck, dude,” he chuckled.

  “All right, let’s hear it.”

  Her smile grew even bigger. She clasped her hands together. “You’re going to have lunch with me tomorrow.”

  “Umm… okay. Don’t I have lunch with you most days after class?” I asked, confused.

  “Exactly. But I’m going to text Lauren and ask her to meet me for lunch too.”

  Suddenly I knew exactly what she was doing. She wasn’t going to tell Lauren that I’d be there, giving me the perfect opportunity to at least try and talk to her.

  “Ahh,” I answered with a smile.

  We spent the next half an hour planning exactly what I would say when I saw Lauren, while Caleb sat there smirking. I knew he was thinking about the night he went after Angie.

  I just hoped I had better luck tomorrow.

  I wasn’t really surprised to get Angie’s text the next morning. Actually, I expected one from her or Emily. Angie was a fixer, she hated seeing people upset and would do anything in her power to make them happy. She probably wanted to fix what happened last night with Josh but the problem was, I didn’t think it could be fixed. It wasn’t worth hiding from Angie though and I figured it was easier to have lunch with her. Hopefully, I could convince her to drop it.

  Angie’s morning class was over the same time as mine and since my professor let us out early, I walked over to her building to wait. After a few minutes I saw Angie making her way out the front door.

  “Hey, Lauren,” she called out as she made her way over.

  I tried to put on a smile, even though I knew she’d see right through it. “Hi, Angie,” I said wrapping her in a hug.

  After a moment, she pulled back but kept her hands on my shoulders so that she could get a better look at me. I tried to avoid eye contact, knowing she’d see everything I was feeling in them, but when I wouldn’t look up, she pulled me back into a hug. “Honey, don’t worry, everything’s going to be fine.”

  “I doubt that,” I said, taking a step back. “Not that it matters, I’m not sure I could face him again anyway.”

  “Come on, let’s get lunch and then we’ll talk” Angie looped her arm through mine and turned in the direction of the cafeteria.

  We got our lunches and sat down at a table away from the rest of the crowd. I was glad Angie had chosen seats that were far away because I really wasn’t really interested in having the whole school know that I was the latest notch on Josh’s bedpost.

  “Okay, so tell me why you think it doesn’t matter?” she asked before shoving a handful of French fries in her mouth.

  “Does it really matter? I was just another conquest for him. Besides, I’m not sure that I could face him again, anyway.”

  “What exactly happened last night?”

  I winced. “I guess you talked to Emily.”

  “Yes,” she said slowly. “But I want to hear it from you.”

  Looking down at my tray, I played with my food. This whole conversation was making my appetite disappear. “Nothing more than Josh being the guy everyone warned me about. The guy who picks a new girl every night.”

  I stopped to take a drink of my water, trying to wash the bitter taste from my mouth. “I just felt stupid all over again. I knew how he was, and yet I fell into the same trap.”

  “You’re not stupid,” she declared loyally.

  “You’re just saying that because I’m your friend and you want me to feel better.”

  “I am—” she started to say, but I cut her off by holding my hand up.

  “Yes, I was stupid. I was pissed about finding Ryan with that blonde bitch and decided to find signs where there weren’t any. I wanted someone to want me and guys like Josh know exactly how to make you feel that way.”

  I glanced up at the ceiling. “It’s my own fault. I’m just glad I don’t see him around campus, and I think last night was a fluke.” I shook my head and looked back down at Angie. “My only hope is that was the last time I run into Josh Walker.”

  Too late, I noticed the strange look on her face, but she wasn’t even looking at me. Instead, she was staring at something over my shoulder and I knew whatever it was, it was not going to be good. Slowly, I turned around in my chair. Holy shit! Josh was standing right behind me.

  Great, how much of that had he heard? Moving my gaze up to his face I could see the hurt and regret in his eyes. I felt a flush break out all across my body, unfortunately it wasn’t from being overheated.

  Angie reached over and squeezed my hand, causing me to turn back and face her. She pleaded with her eyes as she said, “Lauren, please listen to what he has to say. He came here to talk to you. I know what he wants to tell you, so just please hear him out.”

  I couldn’t believe that Angie had set me up like that. How could she possibly think that I would want to see Josh, much less talk to him? Josh walked up to the table and watched me like he was waiting for me to bolt. Little did he know how much I actually did want to run. My eyes shot up to him and back down to Angie. “I don’t think this is a good idea,” I mumbled, too self-conscious to speak any louder.

  “Please, Lauren,” Angie said as she stood up.

  Josh took Angie’s seat and continued to study me. “Lauren, just give me five minutes,” he begged.

  Angie bent over to whisper in my ear. “Just stay. You won’t regret it.”

  There was no way I was getting out of this. I only had to sit there for five minutes. I could do that. Then I could walk out the door and do everything in my power to erase Josh from my memory.

  “All right.”

  Angie turned back to Josh and gave him a wink before leaving the cafeteria.

&
nbsp; “How have you been?” Josh asked, looking nervous.

  I kept my eyes down, not really wanting to look him in the face because that would just make this whole conversation harder. It was bad enough that thoughts of our night together haunted my dreams.

  “Fine,” I answered. “Can we just get to the point?”

  “Yeah,” he sighed.

  I looked up, waiting for him to continue, and when I didn’t say anything more he started talking. “Look, I wanted to apologize for what happened last night.” He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

  “Don’t worry about it. You can dance with whomever you want.” I grabbed my bag and stood up. “If that’s all, I’m going to go and get some work done before my next class.”

  “Lauren.” Josh tugged on my hand to turn me around. “Please, don’t go,” he begged.

  I looked down at his hand holding mine. What I wouldn’t give for him to be holding my hand for a different reason than to get me to stay and listen to his apology to assuage his guilt.

  “Josh,” I started, but he stood up and covered my mouth with his hand.

  “I have more that I need you to hear.”

  Taking a deep breath, I nodded and waited for him to take his hand off my mouth. He watched me, like he was waiting for me to bolt the first chance I had, but he dropped his hand and gestured for me to sit. When he seemed satisfied that I was going to stay and listen to what he had to say, he took his seat again.

  “I’m really bad at this kind of thing, but just give me a chance.”

  I watched him, but still said nothing as I waited for him to continue.

  “I did want to apologize to you, but I also wanted to explain why I was apologizing. When I took you home last week… it was one of the most amazing nights of my life. For the first time, ever, I didn’t want someone to leave my bed. What I wanted was to wake up next to you in the morning.” He laughed nervously. “But ironically, I woke up to an empty bed anyway.”

  At the reminder of my walk of shame, I focused my eyes on something across the room. I knew my face was bright red and I didn’t have it in me to look him in the eye. He reached out and placed his fingers on my cheek, turning my face towards him.