Awoken (The Lucidites Book 1)

by Sarah Noffke

  I decide against attending Whitney’s memorial. These events are to help people grieve and I’m in the process of doing that on my own. I tell myself she’d understand. The truth is, managing the pain of her death has been tumultuous at times, taking me by surprise, causing pain in ways I’m not accustomed to feeling. No one ever told me how sorrow traumatizes the heart, making me think it will never beat exactly the same way again. No one ever told me how grief feels like a wet sock in my mouth. One I’m forced to breathe through, thinking that with each breath I’ll come up short and suffocate. I guess if I’m honest with myself, there wasn’t really anyone to pass along this knowledge anyway.

  When I’m not suffocating in grief, I try to figure out what my life is supposed to look like at this point. When Patrick delivers food, I eat. When I’m tired, I fall into dream-filled sleeps. The current theme of my dreams involves my real mother. She gives me hugs I don’t want and offers reactionary advice. Still, I like looking at her face. It has small features, brown eyes, blonde hair, and an expression that is overly optimistic.

  Since I know I’m on the brink of being considered a hermit, I open my door the next day. By midmorning Joseph is laid out on my bed. It feels good to have him close, the way my cats used to make me feel when they were nearby.

  “Do you want to talk about him?” he asks, looking at me from the corners of his eyes.

  I know exactly who he’s referring to. “No,” I say with more force than I intended.

  “But he was your brother,” Joseph says.

  “No.” I shake my head. “You’re my brother.”

  “But you grew up with him.”

  I chew on the inside of my cheek. Thousands of sleepwalkers died on the Day of the Duel. Shiloh was one of them. My gaze slides away from Joseph and rests on the blue carpet. “Honestly, I never expected to see him again. I think that’s why it doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would.” And it wasn’t like Whitney’s death, where I had to see her blood oozing from the instrument that killed her. Her death felt real, but Shiloh’s didn’t for some reason.

  “Or maybe you’re just in shock,” Joseph offers.

  “Maybe.” I shrug. “More than anything I hurt for…” I stop, not knowing exactly how to label them anymore. “His family,” I finally say. “They will miss him very much.” My gaze slides back to Joseph. He’s actually smiling.

  “Just like I would have missed you if Zhuang had succeeded,” he says in a low hush.

  I return his smile with affection.

  “So since our old lives are obviously gone, what do we do now?” Joseph asks, lightness in his tone.

  “What do you mean we?” I look at him as I pick up my hairbrush.

  “Well, Trey has offered for us both to stay here. You’d know that if you came out of your room,” he says. “There’s things we could work on here. Projects.”

  I cut my eyes at him. “Honestly, that sounds great in a couple years. But I was actually thinking of living with Bob and Steve and having a normal life for once.”

  “Normal lives are overrated,” Joseph says, adjusting himself on the bed. He’s obviously still in a great deal of pain from his injury, which was so severe Mae wasn’t able to mend it completely.

  “How would you know?” I snap.

  “I’ve heard.” He laughs. “It’s just that I’m staying and I really wanted you to stay too.”

  “We can meet up at night,” I offer. “You’ll see me all the time.”

  “No.” Joseph shakes his head. “It’s not the same.”

  I take a long look at Joseph. “I can tell when you’re lying too, you know.”

  A sly grin unfurls on his face. “Oh all right, I have something I wanna work on here and I need your help.”

  “You need my energy,” I say.

  “You could help too. You could be involved, but you’d have to come out of your room.” He rolls his eyes.

  “Look,” I begin, “it’s incredible that we have each other, but are we supposed to be tied together forever? Because that’s not going to work for me. I need space.”

  “Me too,” he agrees easily. “I’m not implying that we have to follow each other around. God knows I don’t want to live with you and your pseudo parents in the boondocks. I just need you here for a couple of months. Just let me work on this project. Lend me your energy. Can you give me that?”

  I stare off at the carpet, weighing my options.

  “You can,” Joseph continues, “read your Lord Byron, paint your toenails, listen to folk rock, or whatever you do when you’re not preparing to fight some crazy ancient philosopher guy. Please.”

  “All right,” I give after a minute of deliberation. “You have until the end of the summer. Then I’m gone.”

  He smiles. We shake on it.

  Before Joseph leaves he reminds me about the celebration that night. He demands I wear something nice. When I inform him I don’t have anything, he promptly invades my closet and picks out the one dress Steve had bought me. It’s a short, sleeveless, black and white dress, with a swooping neckline. I think I’d rather go fight Zhuang again than wear it.

  “I’ll pick you up at seven. Be wearing that, ’cause I don’t want you to embarrass me,” he says, heading for the door.

  The shoe I throw grazes his head, as I intended.

  Chapter Fifty-One

  Just after seven, Joseph knocks. I hit the button with my most appalling expression plastered on my face.

  “Nice dress, Stark. Work on the face, though,” he says.

  He’s dressed in tan linen slacks and a long-sleeved white button-up shirt.

  “You don’t look like pig feed, either,” I say, taking his arm.

  “Well, I’d say somethin’ nasty ’bout your momma, but...”

  ♦

  The main hall is almost unrecognizable. The lights are low and music plays from the far back corner. Overhead a strobe ball dazzles the adjoining walls with sparkling lights. From the ceiling hang little paper stars that twirl and catch the cascading light. Blue linens line the tables and each are adorned with pastel hydrangeas in the center. Lush, iridescent fabric billows around the corners of the room and underneath it lights twinkle, reminding me of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. This is what they considered intimate?

  Joseph leads me through the hall. I gape at the decorations. It isn’t until I’m halfway through the room that I notice most of the crowd has stopped to stare at me. Dozens of people bow their heads in an appreciative manner. The rest gaze at me with thoughtful expressions. The only people who aren’t staring at me are the ones on the dance floor, busy moving to the lively music. One of those people is Aiden. He’s waltzing with that Amber girl. A nervous itch surges up my spine and I resist the impulse to scratch it.

  “Hey, everyone,” Joseph says to the table when we arrive.

  I spot George sitting next to Samara at the other end. He looks deliciously handsome wearing a white button-up shirt with a black blazer and shiny cufflinks. I lock eyes with him. He winks. Not knowing how to respond, I look at the table,

  Trent says, “Hey, Joseph, you managed to drag Roya out of her room! Good on you.”

  “I want to make an announcement,” Joseph says. His excitement reaches the short distance that divides us and shakes me, unearthing me momentarily from my tight-fitting heels. “We’re staying. Stark has agreed to stay so we can continue our work here at the Institute!”

  Joseph’s happiness encompasses everyone at the table, engulfing them in his euphoria. It’s weird this all was pinned on me. Why can’t Joseph stay without me? I want to be independent and live my own life. But I’m also elated to be Joseph’s twin and have him by my side.

  From across the table George’s smile unfurls, like a rose blossoming in the morning sunshine. It wrenches my heart in ways I like and loathe. And then his all too familiar eyes start their invasions on my emotions. Right then, two aids come to my rescue. The first is my training, which unearths a shield against his searching e
motional radar. The second is Trent. Good ol’ Trent. He asks, or rather demands, I dance with him. When I admit I don’t know how, he has a response ready.

  “Don’t worry,” he smirks as he leads me to the floor, “I’ve got enough moves for the both of us.”

  The music is upbeat. I follow his movements and laugh when he does something ridiculous, which is often. When the song changes to a slower melody, Trent takes his hand and places it in mine, explaining how to slow dance. I follow his lead and catch on pretty quickly. There isn’t much to dancing once you know kung fu.

  A finger taps Trent on the shoulder. We both turn our attention to a bright-eyed Aiden. He watches me as he leans forward and whispers in Trent’s ear. They exchange a curious glance before Trent leads my hand into Aiden’s.

  Something intense surges through me when our hands meet. “Hello, Ms. Stark,” he says, pulling me into his arms looking casual, but making me feel anything but. Blood rushes to the surface of my skin. After our kiss on the GAD-C, this is uncomfortable, like all eyes are on us, knowing our secret. I stare nervously around, trying not to look at him. He’s wearing a tuxedo. It’s ridiculous, overly formal, preposterous, and absolutely perfect.

  “You’re gorgeous tonight,” he says with a smile. “Especially tonight, but always too.”

  I chew on my lip. “What was with the note at the water treatment plant?” I ask.

  He twirls me around rapidly. The music is slow, but Aiden moves me around the dance floor with force and I laugh despite myself. “Oh, did you get that?” he says.

  “I know you were watching.” I giggle as he dips me.

  “Oh, that’s right,” he says, resuming a normal pace. “I forgot you pay attention…sometimes.” We exchange a heated glance and simultaneously look in opposite directions. “Well, I just knew if you got to that point, where you had to use the GAD-C, you’d need some guidance.”

  “Could the people watching at the Institute read what was on the note?”

  Aiden shakes his head.

  Confusion falls over me like a cloud. “How did you know my bracelet would have that effect on Zhuang?”

  Aiden shrugs. “I didn’t. It was a good guess.”

  I narrow my eyes at him and then look in the opposite direction.

  After a long silence he says, “It appears I’ve inherited a bit of my mother’s powers. It’s a good thing because I was beginning to think I was just an ordinary Dream Traveler with only an extraordinarily high IQ.” He huffs. “What a tragedy that would be.”

  I suppress a smile and ask, “And whatever would that be? This power you’ve inherited?”

  “Psychometry,” he says, spinning me around and then pulling me back to him with a grin. “I sense energy on objects. And I detected an extra energy from your bracelet. Charms have been known to take on additional life force. It’s rare, but has happened. I suspect this has more to do with the energy stored in the object by the bearer than anything else. Yours appears to have a polarizing effect on Zhuang, at least when the conditions are right.”

  “So you knew my bracelet had other powers besides the ability to defend me against Zhuang? Why didn’t you tell me before the fight?”

  Aiden clicks his tongue three times and gives me a playful sideways glance. “I already told you it was a guess. Unfortunately, what I’ve inherited isn’t as reliable a gift as what I remember my mother having, but it has appeared to be correct in this instance.”

  I deliberate on this and everything else he’s shared: his mother, her gift, and her obvious absence in his life. It all begs for more questions. In the end, my own selfish interests get the better of me.

  “What did you mean by me returning to complicate your world?” I ask.

  “Right now I wish I could pull you closer,” he says. “Right now I wish I could kiss you again.”

  I swallow and look around. To everyone else do we just look like two people dancing?

  Aiden twirls me slower this time and tugs me back to him gently. His voice is a whisper. “However, I’m in a complicated position. I need to maintain a certain level of professionalism. I’m already scrutinized enough. I suspect my peers would judge anything romantic between the two of us as distasteful.” His lips graze my ear as he leans down and says, “But I also can’t resist you.”

  I pull away, stealing the look in his sapphire eyes, wanting to bottle it forever. “Hmmm,” is all I say. Nerves vibrate in my chest, humming like a car engine.

  “I was honest on the Day of the Duel,” Aiden says. “If something happened to you I’d be lost. I’ve never wanted anything but my career. Now I do…I want you.”

  The music is nearing its end. Two casual friends would only dance through one song. Anything more and they’d appear...

  My heart races as I pull away from Aiden. Regret fills my being. I immediately miss his arms around me. “So where does that leave us? Now that I’ve returned to your world?” I ask.

  Aiden takes a bow. “In an extremely complicated situation, Ms. Stark.”

  I curtsy, enjoying our game more than I should. “Thank you for the dance, Aiden.”

  “The pleasure has been all mine.”

  I turn at once and stride away, feeling his eyes linger on me. The words we’d spoken, this arrangement I agreed to, makes my insides giddy with anticipation for our next secret meeting. Heat rushes to my head making my ears burn hot.

  I gulp down a glass of ice water. It freezes my throat and shrinks my insides. I wish it would freeze my secrets as well.

  Even though my back is to the crowd I sense someone approaching. I turn to find George’s brown eyes, soft under the dark lighting.

  “Hi,” I squeak.

  He doesn’t respond at first, just stares.

  “Have you gotten enough rest?” George asks.

  “Yes. It feels nice. I sleep easier now this whole thing is over.”

  “I think we all do,” he affirms impassively.

  “Did you want to dance?” I ask and immediately regret it. I don’t want to. My nervousness is making me overcompensate.

  “Maybe later.” George gives me a steady look. “Would you join me out here?” He points to the hallway.

  I take a second, then shrug. “Sure.”

  We exit into the brightly lit corridor and walk until we’re in the darkened lobby. I love this lobby with its backlit shelves and leather furniture. Every time I’ve been in this space I’ve felt comfortable and confident. At the moment I love that the area is minimally lit with canned lights.

  “It pleases me to know you’re staying,” he says, picking up my hand and squeezing it. His hands are strong around mine.

  A small twinge of guilt shivers through me, knowing minutes ago I was in Aiden’s arms. They’re so different. Aiden with his black hair, angular features, high cheekbones and full lips. His ears are entirely too large for his head, but complement the rest of his features perfectly. He couldn’t be more opposite George, who has round features, tan skin, blond hair, a broad chin, and thin lips which he spends most of the time chewing on aggressively. If I could mix the clever and passionate scientist with the thoughtful and poetic empath then I might have the perfect guy.

  “I’m staying too,” George says, beckoning me from my reverie.

  “Oh really,” I say. “Why?”

  “I’ve been assigned to a project,” he explains.

  It’s weird everyone but me has a project. Not that I mind, but still it’s weird.

  “Cool,” is all I say after a nervous moment of silence. Something feels strange between us, and it’s making my insides itch.

  “I’m glad you didn’t die on the Day of the Duel.” He smiles as he traces his finger along my hand, looking at it intently. His eyes soft.

  “Yeah?” I pretend to ask. I take his hands and squeeze them in mine. I’m smiling, knowing that joking about my own death is the only way I’ve gotten through the last month.

  He tugs me in tighter. His gold-flecked hair catches my attenti
on as he speaks. “When I thought you were going to die I finally understood a feeling I’ve read in other people, but never experienced firsthand. I didn’t think I was capable of these emotions. You came along and made me laugh and feel and it’s by far better than I ever expected. I’ve read emotions in other people but had no idea how persuasive they can be.” His grip tightens on mine. “I’m addicted to the way I feel about you.”

  Fear of what he’s about to say next strips the smile from my face. My body stiffens. He presses up against me and I step back. “George,” I say with caution. “Please don’t—”

  “Roya, I need to,” he cuts me off. I try to pull away, but sensing this he clenches onto my hands. His eyes seize mine and I’m trapped. All I want is to run. I would rather chant senseless babble than listen to the words about to come out of George’s mouth. And then they fall, like little shards of glass onto a tile floor, with no place to land and only a million places to shatter. “I’m in love with you.”

  He stares at me behind brown, placid eyes.

  This has just gotten way more complicated. I slip my hands from his.

  “Say something.” His tone is even.

  “George,” I whisper, concentrating on the ground. I swallow the tender lump in my throat. “I’ve been through a lot, we both have.”

  “We’ve been through a lot together.” George cups my chin, pulling it up so I meet his eyes. “That’s how I know I love you.”

  “I’m not ready for this,” I say on the verge of pouting.

  “You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.” His voice rises as he speaks. “Look at what you’ve just done, who you’ve just defeated, and the people you’ve freed.”

  I shake my head. “We don’t know I’ve done anything. Zhuang could still be alive.”

  “That’s not the point.” George exhales. “I need to know how you feel.”