Awoken (The Lucidites Book 1)
Page 33
“You know how I feel.” My words are sharper than I intended. I jerk my head from his hand and step back. “That’s what makes it complicated with you.” Adrenaline pulses through my veins. I take a quick inhale. It’s impossible to hide anything from him. He always invades my emotions and knows how to manipulate me. I love and hate that about him.
George appears suddenly cold and distant, like I’m rejecting him. I’m not though; this is all just happening too fast.
“Look,” he says, “I need you to stop playing games with me.”
“I’m not,” I sputter.
“You are.”
“George, I, I, I—”
“Just answer one question, that’s all I ask.”
“Why?”
“Because I need to know,” he states blankly.
“Fine,” I say.
“Are you in love with me?” His words spill out and pinch my heart.
“That’s not a fair question,” I scold him.
“Maybe not for most people.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I retract, shivering, cold biting at my insides.
“I know you’re in love with someone.” He’s a half mixture of compassion and animosity. It almost depends on the lighting, and maybe it also depends on what I want to see.
“You only think you know this time,” I say.
“I know.” George gives a measured glare.
“Well, you know about as much as I do at this point, so why are you confronting me?” I stare at him angrily.
“I think you’re not being honest with yourself. I think you know more than you’re willing to admit. I think you’re playing games and I want you to stop.”
“If you really do love me then why are you doing this right now? Haven’t we all been through enough?”
“Yes, which is exactly why I’m doing this. I can’t take it anymore, the stress, the tension. Tell me the truth. Are you in love with me or Aiden?”
The question hits me like a head-on collision. Hearing the word love makes everything real. The question, which is direct enough, doesn’t have a straightforward answer. Love is complex and rarely straightforward and even less of the time easily explained or understood.
George watches me for a few seconds and then continues, “I feel the raw yearning in you. It’s encompassing. The only thing that keeps me coming back is the idea it could be for me. Just tell me it’s not and I’ll leave you alone. Say it is and I’ll be patient. But I just can’t live, feeling your emotions and not knowing any longer.”
I do care about George, but I’m not sure if I’m in love with him. I’m not sure how I feel about anything right now. And, much like Aiden, George challenges me in ways I’m not comfortable with. Ways which make me want to rebel against him.
We stare, me taking in his nonverbal cues, him taking in my emotions. Finally I straighten as I hear the words echo out of his mouth. “Just tell me if what you feel is for me. Please, I need to know.” The brown of his eyes deepens, pleading with me to comply.
Shaking my head, I clasp the frequency adjuster, the warmth of the tiny object pulses between my fingers. I yank until the chain breaks. My frustration erupts as I fling the frequency adjuster at him. “No, George, that’s not how it works. Sometimes you don’t get to know how I feel!”
In slow motion the adjuster sails through the air. George instantly winces with pain. The adjuster collides softly with his chest, where he lets it hit before it lands by his black loafers. There’s no point in saying another word. He won’t hear me over the orchestra of noise and clashing metal in his head. I pretend not to care as I march away.
The End.
To continue your journey with the Lucidites purchase your copy of Stunned.
Acknowledgements
Thank you to my friends and family. To those who have supported me with their thoughtful words and encouragements. You will never know how those words carried me through each day, until today, where this book has become a reality. Thank you to all the fantastic friends that read this book and offered their wonderful feedback and reviews. I consider myself truly blessed to have each of you in my life.
Thank you to Christine LePorte, my editor, for your insights, expertise, and thoughtful manner in working with me. Everything you’ve done to bring this project to this point is crucial to its success. I’m indebted to you for making my words sound more gooderer.
Thank you to Andrei Bat. The cover image you so masterfully interpreted was exactly what I wanted. Striking. Captivating. And almost more perfect than I ever imagined.
Thank you to the many musicians who encouraged me during the numerous hours of writing and editing. There were frequent times I relied on your passion to inspire me. A big thank you to Rob Thomas for his incredible album Cradle Song, which I listened to hundreds of times while working on this book. I’d also like to thank many of the other artists who made up the playlist: James Blunt (without Some Kind of Trouble this book may never have found an ending), M83, Fall Out Boy, Fun, Gotye, and Ellie Goulding, to name a few.
Thank you to David O’Neil for your help with summaries. Thank you to Jennifer Wilkerson for putting up with the earliest versions of my book. And also thanks for sharing your writer’s struggles with me. We’re all in this together. Thank you to Meghan Toledo for all your thoughtful insights and your attentive eye. You had a big role; one I’m not sure you realized you were signing up for at the time. Thank you to Heidi Magner and FayAnna White for being among my biggest supporters. Your encouragement has been a real gift. I’m glad you’re my friends. Thank you to Dane Maliski. Your help as a beta reader was extraordinary. Your comments made me laugh and also blew my mind. Thank you to Colleen Maliski. You may never know how much your insights and support are a benefit to me. I owe you a ton of gold bars. Keep checking the mail. I love all of my beta readers endlessly. Thank y’all!!!!
Thank you to Robert and Colleen Ward for inquiring about my work, sharing your inspirations, encouraging my creativity and being wonderful friends. Thank you to Linda Renfro for your unconditional love. Your capacity for giving and supporting truly uplifts me. Thank you to Randy and Edie Noffke for your unending support. Thank you to my father for being strong and thoughtful. Your strength has always been your gift. Thank you to Kathy Flournoy for infecting me with the desire to read great literature, which translated into my passion to write.
Thank you to Lydia, my daughter. My words were born from the fire in your eyes. Inspiration fills my being every time you laugh. Your smile encourages me to never give up. You’re my muse. I love you dearly. Thank you to Luke Noffke. You believed in me when I found it hard to believe in myself. My first reader, my companion, my partner in crime. You’re worth a million thank yous, but all I have is this one. I love you.
I believe that much like my child this book didn’t come from me, but rather through me. It’s not mine, but rather the world’s. So thank you to you, the person reading this book. I’m grateful that you’re reading it and I hope it brings great entertainment into your life. Thank you for your support.
Love,
Sarah
About the Author:
Sarah’s been everything from a corporate manager to a hippie. Her taste for adventure has taken her all over the world. If you can’t find her at the gym, then she’s probably at the frozen yogurt shop. If you can’t find her there then she probably doesn’t want to be found. She is a self-proclaimed hermit, with spontaneous urges to socialize during full moons and when Mercury is in retrograde. Sarah lives in Southern California with her family. To learn more about Sarah please visit: http://www.sarahnoffke.com
Table of Contents
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter E
leven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty-One
Chapter Forty-Two
Chapter Forty-Three
Chapter Forty-Four
Chapter Forty-Five
Chapter Forty-Six
Chapter Forty-Seven
Chapter Forty-Eight
Chapter Forty-Nine
Chapter Fifty
Chapter Fifty-One