The Contest

by Dawn L. Chiletz

  “You want the steak to kiss you?” Jake was laughing but actually confused.

  “I want you to kiss me, dammit! Jake, you’re the steak. Don’t you get it?”

  “If I’m the steak, then who’s the chicken salad?” Jake smiled.

  Kendra walked over and pulled Madi away against her will, saying she’d probably said enough for tonight.

  Jake sat back down on the couch and had to adjust himself. Madi Ryan was the total package, even when she was drunk as a skunk.

  A few minutes later, she came running back to him, with Kendra trying to catch her. Madi threw something to him and he caught it. He looked down and it was a box of condoms, ribbed for her pleasure.

  “Let’s use the whole box tonight!” she said as she launched herself at him. He jumped up to catch her. She started kissing his face. He tried to hold her back, but drunken Madi was strong. She put her arms around his head and started kissing his neck. Kendra pulled her away, laughing, and apologized to Jake.

  “Come on Madi. No condoms for you tonight,” Kendra said as she helped her back to her room.

  Jake just stood there. He was in shock, but most of all he was completely turned on. Her mouth, even when she was drunk, on his neck, on his face. Holy hell. The red panties, the red bra, the belts… Jake looked down at the box of condoms and he wondered how long she’d had them. Was she planning on using them with him? Was he really her steak? He ran his hands through his hair and walked toward his room. He glanced in Madi’s room and she was face down on the bed with her tight rear in a red thong in the air. Jake couldn’t help but stop and stare. Kendra walked to the door and as she closed it, she smiled and said, “Goodnight, fine piece of ass.”

  Jake went in his room and right into a cold shower.

  Chapter 40

  Madi

  Madi couldn’t move her head. It felt like it weighed three times its normal weight. She could feel someone next to her and her head shot around quickly, causing her to wince. Kendra was fast asleep next to her.

  Madi sat up slowly and tried to stand up. She made her way to the bathroom and caught sight of herself in the mirror. What was she wearing? Then, like a bucket of water being dropped on her head, she started remembering all the things she had done and said the night before. At the time, they seemed perfectly fine. Had she really thrown herself at Jake and told him he was a steak? Had she really given him the condoms and asked him to take her? She stepped into the hot shower and vaguely remembered grabbing his ass and kissing his neck.

  She got dressed and weakly made her way to the kitchen for coffee. Jake was sitting at the breakfast bar having a cup and reading something. She couldn’t look at him. She glanced toward him and he looked at her from the tops of his eyes, without raising his head.

  “How are you this morning?” he asked with a grin.

  She waved him off and poured herself a cup of coffee. She sat down on the couch with her knees pulled in around her. Jake came over and sat across from her, staring at her.

  “I’m sorry for last night,” she said as she covered her face with her hand.

  “Oh so you do remember?”

  She nodded.

  “That was quite a little outfit you were wearing. I can’t wait to get the pictures printed.”

  She looked up at him in utter shock and he laughed.

  “You’re an ass.”

  “You have a nice ass, if I haven’t told you that before.”

  She cringed, “I’m an idiot and I’ll never drink again.”

  Jake got up and walked past her. He stopped and whispered in her ear, “Drunk Madi is fun and very, very hot. Here, you forgot these last night.” He opened a drawer on the sofa table and placed the condoms on her lap. He patted her shoulder as he walked to his room.

  Madi sunk into the couch and buried herself in her arms.

  *****

  The tour started that Monday with a kick off in LA. Madi was beyond excited as she watched Jake perform from backstage. She had seen his parents briefly and they had hugged her like she was family. She loved them, but not as much as she loved Jake. Her heart was on fire for him. He worked the crowd and everyone cheered and laughed when he spoke. From the stage she could see the looks on some people’s faces. They loved him too and she knew why.

  After the concert they took a red-eye to London. Madi had never been on a plane for so long before and she was nervous. Jake asked Caleb to switch seats with Madi and he obliged. She wrapped her arm around his and he kissed her head. He always knew just what she needed. She had fallen asleep on his shoulder and she awoke to him looking at her. “You’re quite beautiful, even when you’re quiet.”

  “You were amazing tonight,” she said with a yawn.

  He smiled and looked out the window over her. He had insisted she take the window so she could see the sights.

  Over the next few days, she had barely seen him. She would take photos backstage with fans during his meet and greets and she would see him perform, but they were in separate rooms. She was sharing with Ang and he was down the hall. She missed him terribly. She wondered if any part of him missed her. After the concert in Paris, Madi had something to eat with Ang. She was walking to her room and she saw a woman come out of Jake’s suite. Her heart dropped to the floor. He walked out with her and thanked her as she left. Did he just have sex with her? Did he just thank her? Madi couldn’t control herself. She bounded up to him and said, “Did you sleep with her?”

  Jake turned quickly out of shock. “No, I didn’t sleep with her. She’s a masseuse. She gave me a back rub. I’m tense.”

  Madi looked down at the floor and Jake chuckled. “Nothing happened, Mads. Are you jealous?”

  Madi sighed. “You know I am. I’ve barely seen you and I miss you.”

  “I miss you too,” he paused. “Can I tell you something? That day, in the copy room? I was jealous. I heard you and Curtis talking and I didn’t like it.”

  Madi smiled. “You were jealous? You have no reason to be. No one compares to you. You know how I feel about you.”

  Jake exhaled as if her words stung. “Madi, please, we’ve been through this before. Listen… I need to get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He kissed her cheek and closed the door before she could say another word.

  Jake

  He closed the door and bent down to grab his knees. He wanted to tell her how much he had missed her. How he could see her backstage and how much it meant to him to know she was there. How he had thought about asking her to have dinner with him in his room. How he had thought about breaking his word to himself and telling her he was in love with her. He wanted her near him. She made him feel like things could be okay. He went to the window and looked outside. They were in the city of love and the girl he loved didn’t even know it.

  He thought about Gina and Tess. He reminded himself of Madi’s bruises and the pain in her eyes when he found her in a heap by the bed. It helped him remember why he couldn’t be with her. He knew it was only a matter of time before he wasn’t enough for her. Before she needed him and he wasn’t there. Before he put his needs before hers and she got hurt or even worse. Now he had to worry about crazy fans too. He wouldn’t put her through the pain that came with being with him. The photographers and comments on her body, how she looked, what she said, how happy he seemed when he was away from her, the rumors she would read that he had cheated and the questions when he didn’t call. It was all a part of his world and she would be out of it soon enough. What would he do when she left? He’d have to throw himself back into work and try to forget her. After a while, it would be like it didn’t even happen. He’d move on. He’d find someone he didn’t care about to forget her if he had to. He tried to convince himself he could live without her, but deep inside he knew it would kill him to lose her. He had to do what was best for her. She wouldn’t go willingly. She wouldn’t give up. He’d have to be mean. He’d have to push her away and he prepared his words for just that.

  *****


  After the concert in Germany, Jake went to his room and took a shower. He had planned to go to sleep when he heard a knock on his door. He pulled on a pair of jeans and opened the door to see Madi standing before him. She looked beautiful as usual. She was still in the off-shoulder green sweater and tight black pants he had noticed her in at the concert.

  “Can I come in?” she asked. “I really need to talk to you.”

  He nodded and she walked in. He was concerned that something had happened.

  “Are you avoiding me?” she asked. “Did I do something wrong?”

  “No,” he reassured her. “Why would you think that?”

  “I just haven’t seen you. I didn’t even sit by you on the plane.”

  He sighed. “I’m just working, Madi.”

  “I know you are. I understand that. You’re probably working too hard. Can I do anything for you? Can I get you anything? Do you need any help?”

  Jake stared at her in awe of how easily she accepted his work comment. He reached up and pushed a loose strand of hair away from her eyes before quickly pulling his hand back and turning away.

  “Why do you that? You reach for me then turn me away.”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to.” He couldn’t help but let out a deep breath. He missed her terribly.

  “Then don’t.” Madi took a step closer to him and put her hand on his chest. Her eyes rose to his and he couldn’t look away. She was so beautiful and her touch sent shivers down his spine. Her head lifted to his as she moved closer. Jake was caught up in her. He wanted to hold her and feel her in his arms. Madi raised her head and licked her lips as she stretched up to kiss him. He realized what she was doing and pushed her gently away.

  “Madi, no.”

  “Why? Do you really not want me?”

  Jake didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t prepared, he needed to think. She stepped toward him again and he stepped back.

  “You and I are not going to happen. How can I get you to see that?”

  “I see the way you look at me,” she said. “Are you telling me that this is all in my head?”

  Jake turned away.

  She ran her fingers down his back. “Why won’t you just tell me? Tell me you want me as much as I want you.”

  He turned back and shouted, “What do you want from me, Madi? Do you want me to tell you that I want you? Is that what you want to hear? Because I do. I want you. I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you. I want to hold you in my arms and kiss you until I can’t breathe. I want to touch you and feel your skin on mine. I want to take you to my bed and bury myself in you after I kiss every inch of your body. I want to make love to you and look into your eyes as I make you come. Is that what you want to hear? Does that make you feel any better? Are you happy now?” His hands went into his hair as he took a step away.

  Madi’s mouth hung open as she stared at him. She swallowed hard and her face changed. He watched her breath increase and her skin blush. She was radiant. She looked at him like he was her everything. He cringed at the sight of her. He felt a cross between longing, frustration, pain, and love.

  “Yes, I’m happy,” she said with longing in her voice. “I’m happy to hear you say what I’ve been feeling. Jake, the way I feel about you… It’s more. It’s more than just friends. It’s more than admiration and want. I can’t breathe unless I’m near you and when I am, my skin feels like it’s on fire and I can’t get close enough to you. I want to feel your mouth on mine. I want to feel your hands on my body. I want to touch you and kiss you and make love to you. I want to feel you inside me, more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my entire life.” Her head rolled back as she stepped closer to him. “Don’t you see, Jake? Can’t you tell? I’m completely in love with you.”

  Her words… Did she just tell him she loved him? His heart soared and fell at the same time. No, this wasn’t supposed to happen. He didn’t want her to love him. He didn’t deserve her love. He needed to make her hate him. He needed to make her see.

  “No! I don’t want you to love me. This has to stop. I’m not that guy. I will not allow myself to love you, Madi. I will never love you. That’s why I can’t touch you. I won’t touch you and leave you and I’m going to leave. We would never work. You think I’m a puzzle that needs to be solved. Did you ever consider that I don’t want you to know me?”

  His hands flew up in rage as he spoke. He could see it wasn’t enough to convince her and he dug deeper. “You’re a college kid and I’m a musician. Am I supposed to throw that away for you? I can’t give you what you need. I can’t give you what you want. You can’t keep throwing yourself at me like this. I need you to get away from me. I need you to stay away from me. You’re no good for me, Madi, and I’m no good for you. You need to go home. You’re fired. I don’t want you with me anymore. I can’t take this anymore. Get the fuck away from me. Run as fast as you can before I hurt you. I’m going to hurt you and I don’t want to. I don’t ever want to hurt you.”

  Madi’s eyes pleaded with him as she gasped for air. She reached out to touch him and he took a step back. “Don’t you see that by sending me away, you are hurting me? You’re killing me inside every day. I’m not Gina, I’m not Tessa, and I’m not going to break. You did let me in and let me know you. You let me in because you need me as much as I need you. I don’t care if you don’t love me. I can love you enough for the both of us.”

  Jake ran his hands through his hair and his eyes went wild. He paced around the room. He didn’t know what to do.

  She continued, “If you really want me to go, I will. Look me in the eyes and tell me you want me to leave, and I’ll believe you.”

  How could he lie to her? He needed for her to get away from him. He was no good. She was everything and he was nothing. It took everything in his power to walk toward her and say the words. He knew it would be best for her, even if it destroyed them both. “I want you to leave.”

  He could see the pain in her face as her eyes searched his for some sign that he didn’t mean it. He stood firm and didn’t back down. She nodded her head. “Okay… you win. I’ll leave and you’ll never have to see me again. But please, Jake, before I go. Just one thing. Please don’t send me away without letting me know what it feels like to be yours. Just once. Be with me, just once. Don’t deny me the chance to lie beside you and to think I could have been what you needed. Let me pretend that I could have been enough for you. Tomorrow, I promise you I’ll be gone, but tonight, tonight let me be here. Let me be here with you.” Her eyes exploded with tears and they streamed down her face in gut-wrenching agony.

  Jake could feel his heart slicing in two. She was what he needed. It crushed him inside to see the pain he was causing her. She’d just poured her heart out to him and he couldn’t help himself, he loved her. He wanted her. He’d wanted her for so long. He’d fought a battle within himself to stay away from her. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t let her go. He wanted to not think of himself. He wanted to put her needs first. Was it possible that what she needed… was him?

  “I’m not leaving. If you want me to leave then you need to kiss me goodbye. Please Jake. Please. Kiss. Me.”

  He could feel his heart reaching to her. She was breaking in front of his eyes. She was begging him to kiss her. It would be so easy. It would be so easy to just let himself love her.

  “Please Jake… please…” He watched the tears flow down her face and he couldn’t take it anymore. Fuck his rules and his worries. She needed him and he desperately needed her.

  Jake stepped toward her and gently wiped away her tears. He wasn’t hurting anymore and he wanted to take away her pain and every ache she’d ever known. He felt her tremble at his touch. God help him, he had never loved someone as much as he loved her and he was going to show her just what she meant to him.

  He reached up and put his hand behind her head and pulled her to him. His forehead was touching hers and he could feel her breath on his face. He lowered his mouth to hers and stopped. He op
ened his eyes and she was looking at him, right through to his being. There was pain mixed with desire fueling the fire within him and he could no longer resist her. He licked his lips as he slowly let them touch hers. He gently kissed her lips and he suddenly felt like he had touched his soul. Her lips, they were perfect. They fit his like they were made for him. He kissed her again slowly as her hand held his on her neck. He pulled away briefly to look into her eyes. She was gasping for more. “Kiss me, Jake. Please… don’t stop.”

  With her words, his mouth covered hers and he was lost in her. His hands pulled her to him as his tongue dipped into her mouth. He tasted her and he couldn’t get enough. He moved her toward the wall until she was pressed against it. His hands were on the wall on either side of her face as he kissed her with all the passion he had been holding in for months. He knew one kiss would never be enough and he was right. His tongue pushed into her mouth as her hands gripped his shirt. She was clinging to him like he was her lifeline and he knew in that moment she was his. She let out a soft moan and it set him over the edge.