Beautiful Disaster

by Rye Hart

  “What do you think I should do?” I asked, looking up at Andrea.

  She was staring down at me with worried eyes. Concern was etched in every line on her face. When I asked her, she just shook her head and sighed deeply. As she moved over to sit beside me, her head kept moving from side to side.

  “I don’t know,” Andrea said. “On the one hand, I don’t ever want you to see Joshua again. He was such a dick to you, Jules.”

  “I remember,” I said darkly.

  “But,” Andrea said. “It might be a good idea to talk to him. Get some closure.”

  “I got my closure a long time ago,” I said firmly.

  Andrea shrugged. “Then, ignore him.”

  “But,” I said slowly. “Is that really fair? Like I said, I am dating his brother now.”

  “Are you sure you still want to?” Andrea asked bluntly.

  I narrowed my eyes. “What do you mean?”

  “I know you like Michael,” Andrea said. “Okay? I know that. But is this thing between you two really worth all the drama that’s bound to come with it?”

  I opened my mouth to answer, but quickly let it fall shut again. My initial reaction was anger. Why would Andrea even ask something like that? Michael made me happy, happier than I’d been in years. Why would she want me to give all that up?

  “I’m not telling you what to do,” Andrea said quickly. “I’m just worried.”

  “I know.” I sighed. “And honestly, so am I.”

  “Maybe it’s not worth it,” Andrea said. “There are other guys out there. Guys that are in no way related to Joshua.”

  “None of them are Michael,” I said simply.

  Andrea sighed, and slowly, a smile crept onto her face. She nodded, accepting my choice even before I fully understood it myself.

  There was something real between Michael and me. I knew that the second we met. When he sat down across from me in the café, I knew he was someone I wanted in my life. After we slept together that first time, I was a goner. Michael got under my skin and, now, I knew I’d never be able to shake him.

  “I think I’ll meet him,” I said firmly. “If he wants to talk, then we should.”

  “Okay,” Andrea said. “Do it.”

  I nodded and quickly typed out a reply to Joshua. Andrea read over my shoulder as I agreed to meet Joshua on Thursday.

  “Why Thursday?” Andrea asked.

  “So I can change my mind if I want to,” I said simply.

  Andrea nodded her understanding, and we both sank back into the couch. We drank more wine and marveled at my screwed-up situation.

  “Are you going to tell Michael?” Andrea asked. “About meeting up with Joshua?”

  I shook my head slowly. That was something I’d been thinking about since I sent off that last text. What would Michael think? Would he be uncomfortable? Or would he be happy that Joshua and I were trying to mend fences?

  “I don’t know,” I said honestly. “I really don’t know.”

  Andrea patted my knee and laid her head on my shoulder. She stayed with me that night, making sure I wasn’t alone with my confusion.

  CHAPTER 20

  MICHAEL

  I handled everything at work in record time. My client threw a huge fit over the increased price of our toolset. He flipped out on Marcy, screaming and cursing at her until she was reduced to tears. After that, I knew it wasn’t worth the money. I cut him off and refused to work with him ever again. Problem solved.

  But once that was put behind me, my mind was free to dwell on Julie again. I tried to call her as soon as I finished at work, but she didn’t answer. When I went to her house, she didn’t answer the door. Her car wasn’t in the driveway, so I didn’t know if she was gone or if she just didn’t want to talk to me. Either way, things didn’t look good when I went into the office on Wednesday morning.

  I sat down behind my desk and pulled out my phone. I called Julie twice that morning, but I got her voicemail both times. I thought about leaving a message. My mind played through a million options. Nothing seemed good enough. So, instead, I just hung up and sat back in my chair. I stared at the ceiling and tried to make sense of everything that happened.

  Julie and I talked the day before. We smoothed things out. We were good. Or so I thought. After I left to deal with work, everything changed. Suddenly, Julie wasn’t answering my phone calls. She didn’t open the door when I stopped by. When she finally responded to my texts, she just said she was busy with her new writing assignment.

  I wanted to believe her, but I just couldn’t. Something was off. She said we were okay. She promised that Josh wouldn’t come between us. And yet, just two days after seeing him, things between Julie and I were tenser than ever.

  As much as I hated to even consider the possibility, I wondered if Julie’s feelings for my brother had suddenly resurfaced. Was seeing him too much for her to handle because he broke her heart? Because she was still angry with him? Or because she still loved him?

  Just the thought made my skin crawl with disgust. Knowing everything Josh put Julie through made me livid. I hated that he treated her so badly for so long. When Julie talked about Josh, I could tell she was beaten down by him so many times. He ripped her apart and, for that, I hated him.

  But he was still my brother. We’d worked hard to build a relationship over the past two years, and I didn’t want to just throw all that away. He was the last person I wanted to talk to that afternoon, but I picked up my phone and dialed his number anyway.

  “What do you want?” Josh asked when he answered. He didn’t so much as say hello before starting in on me.

  “To talk,” I said vaguely. “That other night was intense.”

  “Yeah,” Josh said with a snort. “To say the least.”

  “Well,” I said. “Are you okay?”

  “Am I okay?” Josh’s anger was evident in his voice. I immediately knew that calling him was a mistake.

  “Look, I was just checking on you, okay?” I said. “I thought that, after seeing Julie, you might want someone to talk to.”

  “And you thought that person should be you?” Josh snorted again. “The guy who’s fucking my ex-girlfriend?”

  “My relationship with Julie is—”

  “Relationship?” Josh interrupted. “Please. You and I both know what this is.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” I demanded.

  “You know exactly what it means,” Josh said. “I’ve seen you work your way through women for two years now, Michael. I’m not an idiot.”

  “I don’t know about that,” I said. “Dumping Julie was pretty idiotic.”

  “Well, it worked out pretty well for you, didn’t it?”

  My own anger was growing by the second. Josh and I clearly weren’t ready to have a civil conversation. I knew he would be angry, pissed even, but I never imagined he would be this nasty.

  “Julie means a lot to me,” I said simply. “She’s not like the other girls I’ve been with.”

  “You’re right,” Josh said. “She’s not, because she was my girl first.”

  “Do you hear yourself?” I asked. “You sound like a petty little bitch, Josh.”

  “Whatever, Michael,” Josh snapped. “I don’t have anything else to say to you.”

  “Fine,” I said. “We don’t have to talk.”

  I was ready to hang up when Josh exhaled sharply and caught my attention again. Despite what he said, he clearly wasn’t done yelling at me.

  “Whatever happens between you and Julie,” Josh said. “You at least owe her the truth.”

  “The truth?” I asked, my throat tightening.

  “You know what I mean,” Josh said. “She’s not something for you to play around with. She’s better than that. She’s better than you.”

  “She’s better than both of us,” I said. “That much is clear.”

  “Just tell her the truth,” Josh said again. “If you really care about her as much as you claim to, then tell her everyth
ing.”

  “This is none of your business,” I said. “You broke up with her. She’s no longer your concern.”

  “We’ll see about that.”

  Josh hung up on me without another word. I pulled my phone away from my ear and stared down at it, shocked and appalled by Josh’s nerve. Who the hell did he think he was?

  I was fuming as I jumped out of my chair and began pacing around the room. Part of me wanted to call Josh back and lay into him. I wanted to scream at him, call him out for all the bullshit things he did to Julie while they were dating. She’d told me enough about their relationship that I felt justified standing up for her.

  But just as I was about to grab my phone off my desk, I stopped myself. Getting into yet another fight with my brother wouldn’t help anything. Things between Julie and I were already up in the air. I hadn’t heard her voice in over twenty-four hours, and it was killing me.

  Instead of calling Josh, I called Julie again. The phone rang a few times before she finally picked up.

  “Hello?” she said. Her tone was soft, almost nervous.

  “Hey, you,” I said. “I’ve been trying to call you all morning.”

  “I know,” she said. “I’m sorry. Work’s been insane since you left yesterday.”

  “Did you get a new assignment?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” Julie said. I waited for her to continue, to give me something else to go on, but she didn’t.

  We sat on the phone, neither saying a word, for what felt like an hour. Every time I opened my mouth to speak, I closed it again for fear of sounding stupid.

  “Well,” I said. “I guess I should let you get back to it.”

  “I’m sorry,” Julie said again. “Once I get this article finished, I’ll call you, okay?”

  “Sure,” I said. “Take your time.”

  “Thanks.”

  Julie hung up, and I tossed my phone back on my desk. Nothing about this felt right. Josh screaming at me. Julie avoiding me. Everything was all wrong.

  When I first saw Julie sitting at the café in town, I never thought I would fall so hard for her. She was gorgeous, beautiful in a way I’d never seen before, but that wasn’t what drew me in. Every word that came out of her mouth leaked wit and intelligence. She was graceful, elegant, and poised in every situation. She was everything I admired in a woman and more.

  The thought of our relationship ending already was heart-wrenching. There were still so many things I wanted to tell her, so many experiences I wanted to share with her. The tree lighting in the town square was just the beginning. It wasn’t enough. The short time we’d already spent together wasn’t enough. I needed more.

  “Marcy?” I called. I heard her chair squeak as she sprung up and hurried into my office.

  “Yes?” she asked.

  “Do I have any meetings scheduled for this afternoon?” I asked.

  “No,” Marcy said, shaking her head. “You’re free until tomorrow morning.”

  “Thank you,” I said. “Hold all my calls for the rest of the day, okay? I’ll return messages first thing in the morning.”

  “Okay.” Marcy nodded and hurried back to her desk.

  For a split second, I felt guilty about running out on work for the second day in a row. Even though I came back to the office yesterday, I still shouldn’t just leave at the drop of a hat. And yet, the guilt wasn’t strong enough to keep me there.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I told Marcy on my way out.

  “Where are you heading, Mr. Smart?” Marcy asked curiously.

  “I want to pick up something for Julie,” I said. “A little gift or something.”

  “Try Annabelle’s,” Marcy said. “She has really cute stuff this time of year.”

  “I’ll do that,” I said with a smile. “Thanks, Marcy.”

  Marcy smiled back as I slipped out the front door. I thought about driving into town, but the cold air felt amazing on my flushed cheeks. My emotions were still running high, making my body feel hot and sweaty. The chill in the winter air cooled my body and relaxed my mind. I took in a deep breath and held it tightly in my lungs, enjoying the cold burn that flooded my body. When I finally exhaled, my head felt clear.

  I walked through town, stopping in at every shop I passed. Annabelle’s was my last stop of the day, and I wanted to check everywhere else first. If I found a few things for Julie, then I would buy them all and choose the best one later. This was too important to do halfway.

  As I shopped, I realized just how much I loved living in Ennis. The town square was full of unique shops. I stopped in at the handmade plate shop and browsed for a while. There wasn’t anything for Julie, but it was still nice to spend time just hanging out in town.

  When I finally made it to Annabelle’s, I knew Marcy had been right. The first thing I saw was a line of handmade jewelry. I moved quickly to the display and began thumbing through the necklaces. A few caught my eye, but nothing seemed like Julie.

  “Can I help you with anything?” Annabelle said from behind me.

  I spun around to see the kind old woman standing there. She smiled at me and patted my arm as we turned back to the jewelry display.

  “Who are you buying for today?” she asked.

  “Julie,” I said. “She’s new in town. I don’t know if you’ve met her yet, but—”

  “Julie Black?” Annabelle asked. “She came in just a few days ago to buy a gift for her sister. She seems like a nice girl.”

  “She’s amazing,” I said quickly. “And I want to get her something equally amazing.”

  “Jewelry?” Annabelle asked.

  “Anything,” I said.

  Annabelle nodded and made her way toward the back of the shop. I followed her slowly, wondering what she was looking for.

  She ducked behind the counter for a few seconds. When she returned, she was carrying a closed box. It was plain with no writing or images on the front. Annabelle set it on the counter and opened it gently.

  “What is it?” I asked, taking a step closer.

  “I’ve had this hidden away for years,” Annabelle said. “But it might be what you’re looking for.”

  From inside the box, Annabelle pulled out a crystal Christmas tree that sparkled in the shop lights. It was beautiful, and the second I saw it, I remembered kissing Julie in front of the Christmas tree in the town square. It was the perfect gift.

  CHAPTER 21

  JULIE

  Michael tried to see me twice on Wednesday, but I just wasn’t ready. If I saw him, I knew I would tell him everything about my plan to see Joshua. I wouldn’t be able to keep it from him if we were in the same room. Deep down, I knew it was a mistake to hide this, but I didn’t know what else to do. If Michael insisted I not see Joshua, then what? Would I listen? Would I ignore him and do it anyway?

  It was easier to just push Michael to the side for a couple of days. All I needed to do was get through this dinner with Joshua— just one more dinner—and then, everything could go back to normal between Michael and me.

  As much as I told myself everything would be okay, I was still shaking from head to toe when I got behind the wheel of my car that night. Joshua wanted to meet in Dallas because of his residency schedule. I didn’t mind. The drive would help me clear my head and prepare me for seeing him again.

  Still, when I parked my car outside of the restaurant, I didn’t get out right away. I clung to the steering wheel and took a few deep, calming breaths. My nerves were a mess and they had been for days. Nothing I did helped me calm down. I only hoped that, after talking to Joshua, I would feel somewhat better about our situation.

  I planned to drive straight to Michael’s house after dinner. After I heard what Joshua had to say, I would tell Michael everything. I didn’t want any secrets between us, but I also knew I needed to deal with Joshua before things could progress with Michael.

  With my hands still trembling, I shoved open my car door and made my way inside. I stuffed my hands into my coat pockets when
I saw Joshua sitting at a table in the back. The last thing I needed was for him to see me shaking.

  “Hey,” I said when I stepped up to the table.

  “Hi.” Joshua smiled and jumped up quickly. He moved toward me as if he wanted a hug, but I sank into my chair before he could reach me.