Mending the Doctor's Heart

by Sophia Sasson

  She turned to Nico’s family, her family. “Thank you.” She didn’t need to be more effusive or find words to make a speech. They didn’t want any more. Closing in, they enveloped her and Nico again, and for the first time, Anna realized that they had always accepted her. She was the one who hadn’t accepted them.

  And now it was too late.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  NICO HELD HIS breath as they drove up the gravel road leading to the house in Tumon Bay. He hadn’t been back here since that day five years ago when he’d gone to the airport for Anna. From the first moment he’d seen the house, he had pictured himself and Anna here. He had cobbled together every penny he could and taken odd jobs around the island to buy the house, knowing that if they bought it together, Anna would have spent most of her savings on it. He’d wanted to give her something, to show her that he could take care of her.

  It was his home, but after she’d left, Nico hadn’t even been able to come here to pack his bags. Bruno and Tito had done that for him.

  The gravel road was littered with debris and he had to go off-road to get close to the house. He rounded the corner and the house came into view. That was as far as the car would go with the litter strewn across the road. They sat in silence, staring at what used to be their home. The sun shone down on it just as it had the first day he’d brought her here.

  Anna threw her head back and started to laugh. Wisps of gold-brown hair escaped the clips holding her hair back, and her blue-gray eyes sparkled as a smile lit up her face. This was his Anna. The one without the heartbreak in her eyes, the one with the laugh that sounded like wind chimes, the one who saw humor in the world. Her laughter was infectious and he found himself joining in, a deep belly laugh that warmed his body and lightened his heart. He hadn’t laughed like this since before Lucas was diagnosed.

  “This is so not funny,” she said.

  “I know.”

  Still laughing, they exited the car and walked the last several feet to the house, picking their way over fallen branches and other odds and ends.

  “Is that our kitchen table?” Anna pointed to a piece of furniture lying on its side.

  “Yep, and there’s the rocker I built.”

  The front door hung on one hinge, ready to fall off. Part of the roof had caved in on the left side. That was the side he and Anna had painstakingly repaired, then watched with bated breath when the first storm hit to see if it would hold. The house looked almost exactly as bad as it had the first time he had shown it to Anna.

  They stood and took it all in, enjoying the soft lapping sound of the ocean on the far side. A stand of trees blocked the view from there, but it was visible from inside the house. He’d been drawn to that view from the beginning, like it was a hidden treasure only they could enjoy. “Do we dare go inside?”

  She was gazing up at the second story, where the master bedroom stretched the width of the house. She’d stood there like that the first time he’d brought her there too. This time, there was no anger in her face, no hint of Anna’s signature “I’m going to kill you, Nico” look. Just a reminiscent smile that lit up her face. Grinning, he stepped closer to her and picked her up, enjoying her squeal as he carried her like a baby up the front step, exactly the way he had on their first visit.

  He toed the front door to nudge it open and stepped carefully inside. His boots hit an inch of water. Their rugs, lamps and assorted trash were floating on the first floor.

  “Now, see, this makes it worth getting a ride. I hate wet socks,” Anna said.

  Laughing, he continued carrying her upstairs, stepping gingerly to make sure the floor wasn’t going to give way under him. The stairs were solid. They’d stood for decades, even when the rest of the house crumbled. The door to the master bedroom was wide-open and Nico didn’t hesitate. He crossed the threshold and set Anna down.

  She gasped and he froze. He wasn’t as religious as the rest of his family but in this moment, he had to believe this was a sign from God. It had to be. The bedroom was intact. The drapes that his mother and her friends had sewn hung neatly from the four-poster bed he’d built himself. Even the bedspread that Anna had picked out was still on the bed. There were layers of dust on everything and a few pieces of trash had blown in, but even the window was unbroken.

  Appearing as bewildered as he felt, Anna ran her hands over the bed. She went to the nightstand and opened it. “I was reading this book before Lucas was diagnosed.”

  “I haven’t been back since the day you left. Everything is exactly the same, waiting for you to return.”

  Closing the drawer, she went to the dresser and picked up the picture frame that sat there. It was from their wedding day. Neither he nor Anna was looking at the camera; they were both turned away, eyes only for each other. It was his favorite photo. Somehow Bruno had caught them in a moment that was just about them.

  He knew where she’d go next. The small box in the dresser drawer. It was the first thing he’d checked when he came home and found her gone. She opened the drawer and found the antique silver box. She opened it and picked up the pearl ring inside.

  Anna turned to him, her eyes wide, lips slightly parted. This wasn’t the time to think, to analyze or to question. He’d spent five years doing that and had never come up with any answers. Pulling her into his arms, he brought his mouth down on hers. She melted into him, the way she always did. Her lips were salty from the tears she had cried earlier and he cupped her face.

  Not for one second had he stopped loving her, and he wanted her to know how much he still needed her. That she was a permanent part of his soul. When he’d kissed her in the church, it had been a kiss of closure. He had conveyed the apology he’d never been able to give. This time there was no apology, just a plea. He kissed her cheeks, her nose and her forehead. “I will do anything, Anna, anything to take away your pain. To bring Lucas back to you. To bring you back to me.”

  “I’m sorry, Nico. I pushed you away, I never gave you the chance to...” Fresh tears filled her eyes and he held her, desperate for the warmth of her breath against his chest, the smell of her hair. His living, breathing Anna. Lately, he’d come to think of her as a sweet dream that had visited him in the dead of night but was gone by morning. “I need you, Anna. I can’t be whole without you.”

  She took a sharp breath and pushed against him, but he held on to her. He wasn’t going to let her go without saying everything he needed to say. That was a mistake he wasn’t going to repeat. “You are my soul mate, the one woman who was made for me, who will live in my heart forever. Please, Anna, come back to me.”

  She pushed a little harder. “Nico, I’ll never love anyone the way I love you. But we can’t do this to Maria.”

  “No, we can’t.” He took a breath. “She came to me last night and asked how I felt about you. I told her the honest truth. That if I commit to her, I will love her all my life, no matter what. But she will never have my whole heart, because I’ve already given it to you.”

  Anna gasped. “How could you?”

  “How could I what? Tell her the truth?”

  “Break her heart.”

  “Because I can’t break yours again.”

  She stepped back. “No. No, Nico, I never said I would stay, and I won’t. I didn’t ask us to get back together, I—”

  He didn’t let her finish. This time when he kissed her, it was with a passion he hoped would remind her of the love they shared, of the bond that could never break between them.

  “You can tell yourself what you want, Anna, but you and I both know that what we have is the love of a lifetime. We can’t throw it away.”

  He kissed the bridge of her nose, and then his lips found hers again and the love he’d kept locked away burst out of him. Anna wove her fingers into his hair and before his brain had time to talk him out of it, he and Anna were on the be
d.

  She didn’t resist and, for once, he knew exactly what they were going to do.

  Crack!

  He froze and Anna stared at him wild-eyed. Before he could clear the euphoric haze from his mind, the bed gave way and he and Anna came crashing down onto the floor.

  They looked at each other and burst out laughing.

  “I guess this is a sign. Someone above is saving us from ourselves.” Nico laughed.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  “SERIOUSLY, NICO! WE need to get back, I have work to do.”

  “You’ll always have work to do. It can wait. Come on.”

  She shook her head and followed. It was the same old Nico, with the wicked gleam in his eyes. Taking his hand, they climbed the steps to Puntan Dos Amantes—Two Lovers Point. The concrete and stone steps were still there but the admission booth to pay the entrance fee was gone.

  “Is the cliff even safe?”

  Nico rolled his eyes. “It’s rock, and it’s been standing here for centuries. I think it’ll be okay, just be careful you don’t trip on the loose pieces.”

  This was where they had gotten engaged. The jutting peak over Tumon Bay was revered in Chamorro culture as a symbol of love. The walk up to the top was normally easy, but the concrete pathways had sustained some damage. Still, Nico helped her up so they could stand in the spot where he had proposed to her. She remembered that day vividly.

  “Isn’t this where two lovers jumped to their deaths?”

  “That’s not how we see the story.”

  Sitting on a rock, she looked out at the sea, its impossible blue crashing against the black rocks in clouds of white foam. It was one of the most beautiful places she had ever seen. The sun was lazily dropping toward the horizon and a cool breeze brought in the smell of salt and jasmine. She had been begging Nico to bring her here for months, but he’d always found an excuse not to go. He had been holding out on her.

  “Tell me, how do you see the story?”

  “Once upon a time, when the Spaniards ruled Guam, there was a wealthy Spanish aristocrat who married the daughter of a great Chamorro chief. They were royalty on this island. They had a beautiful daughter who was admired for her beauty, dignity and charm. Her father arranged for the girl to be married to a powerful Spanish captain.”

  Nico sat down beside her and draped his arm around her shoulders. She leaned into him, picturing the young girl dreading an arranged marriage to a man she didn’t know.

  “The girl was so upset, she ran away from home and found this secluded spot where she could cry in peace. Here she met a Chamorro man, a warrior from a modest family. They fell in love.”

  She turned to him. “Let me guess—Daddy was really upset.”

  He rolled his eyes and she suppressed a grin. Nico loved telling fables from Guam.

  “He forbade her from seeing her lover and threatened to kill him. So at sundown, she came here to see him again. But her father—and the Spanish soldiers—followed her. The lovers found themselves trapped on the edge of the cliff. To surrender would mean death for the young man and a life of misery for the girl. Because now that she had known true love, she could never give herself to another man.”

  Anna gazed out at the calm sea, picturing the young couple standing at the edge of the world.

  “So the lovers tied their hair into a knot, looked at each other, kissed a final time then leaped over the edge.”

  Anna knew the story, but she’d never heard it in quite this way.

  “Their souls were entwined in life, and in death, so they could be together for eternity.”

  Then he knelt down.

  “You were always such a hopeless romantic. You refused to bring me here just so you could propose to me that day.”

  Nico laughed. “You caught that, huh? I knew from the day I met you that I wanted to marry you, Anna. And I knew I’d propose to you here, where my people believe souls are entwined for life. This is where I wanted us to make a commitment to each other.”

  “Well, it worked. Seems no matter how hard I try, I can’t get away from you,” she said lightly.

  Anna looked out at the sparkling water, thinking of the two lovers who chose to plunge to their death just so they could be together. The love of a lifetime. Her sister Caroline had lost her husband, and with him her desire to love again. If I’d lost Nico... Without any hesitation, she would’ve given her life for his. If he asked her to stand on the edge of this cliff and take a plunge with him, she would. She already had. He’s right here. Neither one of us died with Lucas, so why should our love?

  He took her hand. On that day he’d given her a pearl ring in an antique silver box. The box had been in his family for generations and the pearl was to signify their new life on the island. She’d loved that ring. The only times she’d taken it off to put it back in the antique box was when her fingers swelled during pregnancy, and then again after Lucas died. Nico held out his palm, the ring cradled in it.

  “Anna, here and now I want to entwine my soul with you forever. Will you be my wife again?”

  They were the same words he’d said to her the day he proposed, and her answer was also the same.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  “CAPTAIN ATAO, YOUR deployment is up in two days.”

  Anna had been catching up on her patient charts in the nurses’ station but turned when she heard Dr. Tucker’s voice. She did some quick math and realized Linda was right. How could she have forgotten? She’d been counting down her hours since she got there.

  “We’re fully staffed here—I have orders to extend your deployment if you’d like to stay, but I understand if you want to go.”

  It had been two days since their trip to the house in Tumon but Anna and Nico hadn’t told anyone besides Maria that they were back together. Nico wanted to tell Nana in his own way once things had calmed on the island, but he’d spoken to Maria right away. She had successfully avoided Anna since the breakfast at Nana’s house despite Anna’s persistence in looking for her.

  “I would be willing to stay. I want to oversee Emma coming off the ECMO.” The baby had been doing remarkably well.

  Linda nodded and Anna could swear her eyes were teary. “You should be here to hear that baby coo and cry.”

  Anna couldn’t wait for the moment when Aurelia got to hold her healthy baby daughter. She wished Kat could’ve seen it too. “When does the congresswoman leave?” she asked Linda.

  “Her plane is in two hours. The staff is gathering in the lobby to say goodbye to her.”

  Kat had been scheduled to leave days ago, but Luke had to return or face AWOL charges so she was stuck waiting for a seat on an outgoing plane. Commercial airlines still weren’t flying in and out of Guam and only cargo planes with limited passenger space were using the one available runway. Anna would feel much better once Kat was gone. The island’s sole OB, Dr. Li, had quit months ago and while Dr. Balachandra was a good general practitioner, early pregnancy complications were not for the generalists to handle. After everything Kat had done for Guam, her safe return to DC was essential.

  Anna followed Linda to the main lobby, where cake and coffee had been laid out. Maria was there and Anna made a beeline for her.

  “Before you say it, yes I’ve been avoiding you.”

  Anna made a hard stop. She had thought of several ways to apologize and to beg for Maria’s forgiveness, but her mouth was bone-dry and all she could do was open it stupidly.

  “I never meant to hurt you,” Anna croaked. How did you tell a woman I’m sorry for taking away the love of her life?

  Maria bit her lip and Anna’s heart lurched. “Nico was mine once and I let him go. I’ll be paying for that mistake for the rest of my life. I just hope you won’t throw away your second chance.”

  Anna hugged her, and Maria hesi
tated but then buried her face in Anna’s shoulder. Anna understood Maria’s pain. Giving up Nico had killed her inside. That was a fact she now accepted. That gnawing feeling, like an ulcer had been eating away at her, was gone, replaced by the calm she’d first felt on the island. The feeling of peace.

  “I’m sorry to interrupt.”

  Anna and Maria turned to find Governor Tom in a suit and tie. It was the first time Anna had seen him dressed so formally. His eyes stayed on Maria, as if he was silently asking her if she was okay. Maria nodded, and only then did he clear his throat. “I’m going to make a little speech, and I’m wondering if you ladies would join me.”

  Anna realized that Maria was also looking sharp in a black dress and short maroon jacket. She, on the other hand, was wearing wrinkled scrubs.

  Anna shook her head, but Maria grabbed her hand and pulled her along. Nico had appeared and he placed his hand on the small of Anna’s back, a silent reassurance that nothing was amiss.

  Tom gave a short speech thanking Kat and all the relief workers, medical personnel and volunteers. He turned to Maria, who thanked everyone for helping open the hospital “by hook and by crook.”

  Then she turned to Anna. “And now I need your help making sure that this hospital will continue to stay open and take care of all of you. I’d like to offer Dr. Anna Atao the position of chief medical officer at the new Lucas Memorial Hospital. Please join me in requesting that she accept the position.”

  It was a good thing Nico was behind her because Anna felt like she might fall over. She had not been expecting that. He was grinning mischievously. She raised an eyebrow. “How long have you been planning this?”

  Maria answered for him. “A few days, and don’t worry, we had the governor call your supervisor at the surgeon general’s office and clear you to stay for two months.”

  Nico touched her shoulder. “You can try it, see how it works for you.”

  A roar went up from the crowd and someone managed to start a “We want Anna” cheer. Cheeks red, she stood with a frog in her throat, wondering what to say. Did she want that job? She and Nico had studiously avoided talking about their long-term plans. Would he follow her to California? Nana was never going to leave the island, and with her cancer, Anna already knew what Nico needed to do. He wouldn’t abandon his mother.