All He Desires – Nate & Eliza (Crossroads Book 12)

by Melanie Shawn

  When she’d woken up early, at six a.m., and found herself alone in Nate’s bed, she’d noticed that his side of the bed was cold. He hadn’t been there for a while. She’d grabbed her dress and done the walk of shame down to her room. Luckily, no one saw her since the hallway was empty. She’d taken a shower and gotten dressed for breakfast, but she’d been so distracted by the fact that she’d woken up in Nate’s bed, alone, that she must have left her key on the nightstand.

  She sighed. It looked like she’d have to stop by the front desk before she could get out of here and go straight to the one male in her life that would never disappoint her, Farmer.

  It had always amazed Eliza how much things could change in such a short period of time. Last night she’d been so sure that she and Nate were going to be together. That they were soulmates. That destiny and fate had joined forces to give them a happily ever after. Her heart had been filled to overflowing with love. This morning she knew that she and Nate were friends, at best. They’d hooked up, not shared some kind of life-changing cosmic connection. And her heart felt like it had been pushed through a meat grinder.

  When she arrived in the reception area in the large foyer she saw that no one was behind the counter. She checked the two rooms off the main hall, but when her search came up empty, she decided to wait in the seating area off the entryway that opened up to the garden. She would still be able to see the front desk and looking at flowers had the same effect on her that sunrises and sunsets did, they put things in perspective. Just like no matter what was going on in her life, the sun would still rise and set and flowers would still bloom.

  When she stepped out the large, arched doors she saw that someone else had the same idea. Well, sort of the same idea. She hadn’t brought a book.

  “Hey, Grandpa J. Mind if I join you?”

  He looked up from what he was reading and patted the chair beside him. “Well now, I would be honored young lady.”

  “Are you out here hiding from the M&M sisters?” she teased as she sat. On her way down to breakfast she’d heard them arguing over which one was going to sit with Grandpa J while they ate.

  He shook his head. “Those two are quite the characters.”

  That was putting it mildly, in her opinion.

  “What about you? Are you waitin’ on your fella?”

  No. My fella left without saying goodbye. No, that wasn’t true. The truth was she didn’t have a fella.

  “Nope, no fella.” She shook her head.

  “What about that Holmes boy?” He lifted one brow.

  Seriously? Did everyone know about her and Nate? Had Nana Holmes told him? Had he seen her taking her walk of shame out of his room this morning?

  Questions were still filling her mind as he continued, “Didn’t you two run around in high school together?”

  Oh, that Holmes boy.

  His bushy salt and pepper eyebrows drew together. “I saw you cutting a rug last night. I thought maybe you two were lightin’ an old flame, maybe you’d be the next one to walk down that aisle.”

  “Oh no!” she laughed sardonically as she shook her head. “Nope. No old flames being lit. And I already walked down the aisle. Twice. I don’t plan on doing it again. The third time is not going to be the charm, because it will never happen. I’m single and I’ll be single till death do I part. No more weddings. No more marriages. No more fellas. I have been there done that. I will not be walking down any aisles with anyone, especially that Holmes boy. We are friends. That’s it. Nothing more.”

  As soon as her rant was over she realized that was a textbook example of TMI. She wasn’t sure why she’d blurted that all out. Probably just overcompensating for how she had thought that the third time would be the charm and she had wanted to walk down the aisle with the other Holmes boy.

  “Well, good,” Grandpa J leaned back in his chair, not at all fazed by her outburst. “Cause’ I always thought that boy was as slippery as snot on a glass doorknob and I was afraid I was going to have to talk some sense into you, young lady.”

  Eliza laughed at Grandpa J’s description of Neil.

  “Now that brother of his is another story.” He casually threw out before opening his book. He looked down as if he was reading and said, “The difference between those boys is some men talk when they have something to say, others talk because they’ve got to say something. I’ll tell you this, when the former talks, make sure you listen.” He lifted his head and winked before resuming his book reading.

  She’d love to “listen to the former” but that would be difficult since he’d left without even saying goodbye. And she didn’t have his phone number. So yeah, that wasn’t really an option.

  Since that was the case, she did what she could and appreciated the beautiful flowers and what they represented in her life as she waited for the front desk person to return. And also tried her best not to think about the man that only talked when he had something to say, because then she just thought about all the things he’d never said.

  * * *

  Nate’s cheeks actually hurt as he passed the sign that read Welcome to Whisper Lake. He didn’t think he’d stopped smiling since Eliza had fallen asleep in his arms just a few hours ago. Since she’d come back into his life he found himself doing that a lot. Smiling. And he hoped that the surprise he had planned would mean he’d get a lot more chances to do just that.

  Last night, while Eliza had slept snuggled against him, he’d tried to relax and sleep or relax and just hold her, but he hadn’t been able to do either. Yes, they’d cleared the air last night and he’d told her something that he’d been carrying around with him for decades. But there was something else he’d done that he hadn’t told her and his predictive mind had been working overtime calculating possible reactions to it. With each new potential response, he got more excited and more awake.

  Since he couldn’t sleep, he’d decided to drive back to Harper’s Crossing to get a jumpstart on their future. He’d left at three a.m. and it was four hours round trip plus the hour that it had taken him to ready the surprise he had for Eliza.

  He tapped his thumb against the steering wheel as he turned off the main road. The truck bounced and he glanced at the clock on the dash as he drove the winding road that led to the castle. It was eight fifteen. He’d make it back with time to spare before breakfast ended at ten.

  He wondered if Eliza was still asleep. If she wasn’t, he’d left a note on the nightstand telling her he had to take care of something and he’d be back soon. He didn’t think that had happened though, because he’d not only written his phone number on the note, he’d also programmed it into her phone and asked her to text him if she woke up and he hadn’t received any messages.

  Best-case scenario, he would be able to climb back into bed with Eliza. Not because he was tired or needed sleep. With Eliza in his bed, sleep was the last thing on his mind. They would make love, grab something to eat and head back home.

  Worst-case scenario, she was awake and had just forgotten to text him. If so, they would eat breakfast, go back up to pack, make love and head back home.

  Either way, they would be eating, making love and going home. All that changed was the order in which they occurred. And he had a service on hold to drive her car back, if she wanted to ride back with him. Or the service could drive his truck back if she wanted him to drive back with her. He didn’t care, as long as they were together.

  The four-hour trip had given him a lot of time to think about last night. About what they’d both been carrying around for so long. As upset at he was over the time that they’d wasted, he was done living in the past. He wanted to look towards the future.

  He pulled up in front of Stone Castle and flashes of him and Eliza visiting here, for years to come, popped into his mind. He pictured them getting married here. Honeymooning here.

  It wasn’t Paris or Italy or any of the other romantic locations people dreamed about visiting or honeymooning at, but this place, this town would always be s
pecial to him. He’d never been sentimental when it came to locations or buildings. They were just geography and bricks and wood. But Whisper Lake and Stone Castle would always have a place in his heart because of what he and Eliza had shared here.

  It shouldn’t surprise him that he’d feel the way he did. He was starting to recognize a pattern. Eliza made him feel things he didn’t even know he could. She had always and would always break all his rules.

  As he started down the path to the main entrance he heard a familiar sound. It was Eliza and she was laughing. He stepped around the gate and saw that she and The Colonel were sitting in the garden facing the castle. Their backs were to him. He started to walk over but heard something that stopped him in his tracks.

  Eliza’s voice was clear as day. “I already walked down the aisle. Twice. I do not plan on doing it again. The third time is not going to be the charm, because it will never happen. I am single and I will be single till death do I part. No more weddings. No more marriages. No more fellas. I have been there done that. I will not be walking down any aisles with anyone, especially that Holmes boy. We are friends. That’s it. Nothing more.”

  He stood for a moment staring and then went totally numb. When he heard The Colonel say, “Good.” He turned and walked away.

  Less than one minute. That’s how long it had taken for his world to implode around him. The future he thought he’d finally have to be obliterated. The girl he’d always loved and wanted to marry to shatter his heart in a million pieces.

  Once again, he hadn’t been able to predict what Eliza would say and do. He’d thought that her not being in bed would be the worst possible outcome.

  He was wrong.

  Chapter 23

  “I know you think that’s helping, but it’s not.” Eliza reached down to pet Farmer as he sat next to her, his head on her lap. She ran her hand over his head. He snuggled closer to her.

  After a few strokes she admitted, “Okay, maybe it is.”

  A quick glance at the clock in the corner of her computer had her sighing in relief. It was seven p.m. She’d made it through another workday. Her last patient had left a half hour ago and she’d just finished up the final task on the spreadsheet she’d drafted when she’d taken over the practice. She’d accomplished all three hundred and fifty-eight items on it. It had taken her a month, but she’d done it. And instead of feeling accomplished and wanting to go celebrate, all she wanted to do was cry.

  It had been three days since she’d returned from Becca and Brian’s wedding and she hadn’t heard anything from Nate. She’d seen him once. The day she’d come home from Whisper Lake.

  As soon as she got into town she’d driven straight to pick up Farmer. Since it was a Sunday, she found parking right in front. When she’d gotten out of the car and stepped onto the sidewalk she saw Nate walk out of The Daily Grind, coffee in hand.

  She’d known it was Nate and not Neil because her heart jumped and tingles spread through her body as soon as she laid eyes on him. One look. That was all it took for her body and emotions to erase the fact that he’d pulled a Houdini disappearing act. They were ready to forgive and forget. Que sera, sera. Live and let live. Let bygones be bygones, and every other corny expression that let Nate off the hook. Her mind was a little more discerning. It at least wanted an explanation.

  She couldn’t be absolutely certain that he’d seen her since he was wearing sunglasses. But, when his head turned towards her, she noticed that he stilled. So, he either saw her and froze or had decided to practice being a statue for ten seconds.

  Even though his eyes were hidden, just the fact that he was looking in her direction caused her heart to drum rapidly like a woodpecker pecking against her ribcage.

  When she’d lifted her hand to wave, she noticed it was shaking. She’d honestly expected Nate to see her gesture and walk the half block to come talk to her. Or, at the very least, wave back. But neither of those things happened. Before her hand even made it up to chest level, he turned and walked away from her, towards the Elite offices and never looked back.

  Her heart had not just sunk, it had plummeted like an Empire State Building elevator whose wire snaps at the observation deck and crashes in the basement, smashing its rider to pieces. It wasn’t just her heart that had broken, her soul had been shattered too.

  Until now, she’d never made the distinction between a broken heart and a shattered soul. She knew now. And it sucked.

  On her lap, Farmer let out a sigh that caused his jowls to puff out like a blowfish.

  “You’ll never break my heart, huh handsome boy.”

  His response was to curl up at her feet and close his eyes. She knew that he’d be asleep within minutes. He’d been on constant breakdown watch since she’d gotten home and it had taken a toll on him. If he were a human, he’d have bloodshot eyes with large bags beneath them.

  After Nate had taken a wrecking ball to her heart and soul, she’d somehow managed to function, but just barely. She’d picked Farmer up without totally breaking down in front of the owners, Bea and Leah. It was touch and go there for a moment when they’d asked her how the wedding had been. Her eyes had filled with tears, but she covered by saying it was beautiful, that Becca had looked beautiful. Which was the truth. It was beautiful and Becca had looked beautiful.

  She imagined they thought she was just emotional over her best friend getting married because they said they were so glad and gave Farmer special treats for being such a good boy. It was that or they just wanted the crazy crying lady to get out of their store and they were really giving Farmer treats because they felt so bad that he had to live with such an unbalanced owner.

  Either way, Farmer got treats so he was happy and she got to go home and wallow in her misery, so she was happy.

  When she’d arrived at her condo, she didn’t even unpack. She got straight into her pajamas, lay on the couch and watched The Notebook, P.S. I Love You, Titanic, Brokeback Mountain, Sweet November, and Dear John.

  She hadn’t gone with her go-to tearjerkers. She needed to bring out the big guns. Movies that had taken her to such deep emotional places she had only watched them once.

  It was an odd thing to admit, even to herself, but she was actually more devastated, more heartbroken over Nate blowing her off than she had been over her first husband using her as a pawn for financial gain and her second husband not letting marriage slow down his dating life.

  Tears started rolling down her cheeks and she looked down at the sleeping bundle of fur at her feet. Farmer hadn’t left her side since she’d gotten home except for when she was with patients.

  At home, when she was showering or in the bathroom, he waited on the other side of the door standing guard. At night, he normally slept by her feet at the end of the bed, but since they’d been back he’d slept right next to her and every time she moved or adjusted her pillow he’d wake up and check on her.

  He was exhausted. She was exhausted. They couldn’t keep going on like this.

  As she watched him sleep now, peacefully, she realized that she needed to do something. Take action. Not just for poor Farmer’s sake, but for hers. She couldn’t live in this emotional limbo, not anymore.

  Since she’d been back, every time a door opened, she’d expected to see Nate on the other side. Every time a call came into the office, she expected Jarmen to tell her it was from Nate. Every time she walked out to her car at the end of the day, she expected him to be standing there. But…he hadn’t shown up or called.

  During his conspicuous absence, she’d had time to think about the conclusion that she’d drawn on the morning after the wedding. That her relationship with Nate was the same as his relationship with Bailey. That very well might be the case, but she hadn’t actually heard it from his mouth. Just like he’d never heard what she felt for him.

  Maybe he didn’t care about her in a romantic way. Maybe he didn’t take what they’d shared together seriously. Maybe she was just another hookup to him. But she needed to hear
him say that.

  Just like she needed to tell him that she’d always loved him and only him. That every other relationship she’d ever had was doomed from the start because she’d been his all along. That no one else ever had a shot at being the love of her life because that role had been filled since the day she walked into Mr. Hawkins’ first period class.

  And if he didn’t feel the same, fine. She would be fine. She had a career she loved, friends she loved and a dog she loved. If she didn’t have the man she loved, well she’d survive. She would focus on all the good in her life.

  But either way, she had to know. She needed closure. She needed to lay all her cards on the table to see if she had a winning hand or not.

  Determination rose up in her as she slipped her feet out from under Farmer’s belly. It was time she and Nate had a talk. Three days was more than enough time to give them both space. The remove-head-from-ass grace period was over…for both of them.

  * * *

  Nate stared at his computer screen, but he wasn’t seeing it. All he could see was Eliza. Her eyes, her smile, her hands touching his body. All he could hear was Eliza. Her saying that she would never walk down the aisle with him, that they were friends, that’s all. All he could feel was Eliza. She’d infiltrated his heart, his brain, his entire body. She was part of him.

  For the last few days he’d been working on a job that should have taken him four hours tops. Yet, here he was, at the office long after everyone else had gone home because he was eighteen hours in and no closer to completing the assignment.

  A large pharmaceutical company’s research lab had been broken into, both physically and virtually, at the same time. The infiltrators’ execution was well planned but not flawless. All he had to do was piggyback their network and look for the weak points that had given the thieves access.

  The breach should have jumped out at him like a flashing red light in a snowstorm, but it hadn’t. Over the past month, he’d come to the understanding that he wasn’t as gifted as he and most people in his life had previously thought. His intelligence was not accessible to him at any time.