Believe

by Natalie Gayle

  I hated this place. It was a magnificent complex with every conceivable entertainment, restaurant or luxury. Unfortunately, I’d spent far too much time in this casino. I was known. I wanted to be anonymous. Why did it have to be this place?

  Before the concierge opened my door, I twisted in my seat. “Best behaviour, Isaac. Stay close to me or Xander or Seth. No wandering off you hear?”

  “Yes, Mum,” he said obediently, although there was no mistaking the excitement that was pouring off him.

  I turned to get out and felt Xander’s hand on my arm. I looked back at him. “Don’t let him push you away. He needs you Ari, regardless what he thinks or says. You need to be strong for him. He needs to believe in you, as much as he needs to believe in himself right now.”

  As I walked across the reception area to the desk, I felt like the weight of the world was pressing down on my shoulders and every eye in the place was watching me. I only hoped I would be strong enough for all of us.

  “Checking in?” the woman at the desk asked me. I immediately knew she recognised me. All the service staff were trained and briefed in recognising high rollers. That’s what I’d been down here.

  “My partner arrived a few days ago. I just need to pick up an additional key for our room.”

  “Your partner’s name?”

  “Dane Roberts.” Her head shot up.

  “Oh, you’re here with the MMA event.” She looked surprised and I noticed she nodded slightly to a man standing at the end of the reception desk. I knew who he was. He was the guy in charge of customer services for high rollers.

  “Yes.”

  “Yes, you’re noted as joining him today. Can I just see some identification please?” She took the driver’s licence I offered and tapped on her computer a little more. Then handed me an access card for the room and my license.

  “Enjoy your stay, ma’am.” I turned back to Xander who was waiting nearby with Seth and Isaac; together, we headed for the lifts.

  We were just about at the lifts when the man from the end of the reception desk caught up to me.

  “Excuse me, Mrs Beauchamps.” I turned as did Xander and Seth.

  “It’s Le Flegg now,” I growled annoyed. In no way did I want to be associated or reminded of Marcel.

  “My apologies, ma’am. My name is Kurt Landers and I’m in charge of VIP Services. Here’s my card. Please give me a call if you wish to partake in a game or two during your stay; I’d be happy to set you up in a private room. The house would very much like to extend our best hospitality to such an esteemed player.”

  The card almost felt like it was burning my palm as I quickly pocketed it. I had no intention of using it or even walking onto the casino floor, for that matter. Seth and Xander looked at me with undeniable curiosity. I said nothing, and kept moving to the lifts. My gambling was an unending noose around my neck.

  “Mum, what did that man want? What did he mean player? You don’t play video games, well, at least not very often,” Isaac asked. Fortunately, both Xander and Seth, although undeniably interested, had the good manners not to ask—so far.

  How did I get out of this one? There was no way without blatantly lying. “I used to play a little blackjack here years ago, Isaac.” Xander raised his eyebrows and gave me a long look. I wasn’t fooling him for a second.

  The elevator door closed behind us. “How about you take me to the tables, Arianne? I’ve played a little blackjack, but I’d love to learn from such an esteemed player.” I knew from his tone he’d jump at the chance to go play a few hands with me. Xander shot him a glare and Seth threw up his hands in a “What?” sort of way.

  Seth ribbed me and I now understood what Dane and Eden had been warning me about. Seth was a larrikin and a joker, which right about now was clouding his better judgement of keeping his mouth shut in front of my son.

  “I won’t be visiting the tables this time, Seth. My days are done on the casino floor.” I meant every word of it.

  The lift went up and up. The higher it went, the more nervous I got.

  It was stupid. I was going to be seeing the man I loved.

  Somehow, everything seemed different between us. This fight was creating a barrier—a distance and I hated it.

  After we exited the lift, Xander took the lead and showed us to the suite we’d share with Dane. “Eden and I are here in the suite beside you. Get settled in. I’m not sure if he’s back yet.”

  Xander kindly helped me with the door and left Isaac and me to our own devices in the suite. I’d seen suites plenty of times before. It was exactly as I’d expect a suite at a five-star hotel to be—plush, superbly appointed and austere. Isaac went charging through from room to room then yelled, “Dane!”

  “Hey man, you’re here.” There was nowhere near the normal level of animation in his voice—what I heard was exhaustion.

  Isaac came through the doorway from the master bedroom dragging Dane with him. He’d obviously just been in the shower, the white towel wrapped around his waist and a few stray droplets of water were a dead giveaway. His body was even more cut than when he left. His muscle looked rock hard, but his skin was starting to change, it looked kind of pasty.

  “Hey, gorgeous,” he said to me softly and stepped forward to pull me into a hug. It felt so good to have his arms around me. We kept the hug short in deference to Isaac.

  “Hey, yourself. How are you feeling?”

  “Okay.”

  I looked at him again, this time more sternly. “Try again.”

  “Exhausted.”

  “Can I get you something? A drink, something to eat?”

  He shook his head resignedly. “I can’t have either.”

  I nodded my understanding and tried to hide my thoughts. “We’ll just get settled then.”

  “Where are Mum and I going to sleep?”

  Dane pointed to the doorway on the other side of the combined lounge/dining room we were in. “You’re in the room across there, mate.”

  Isaac looked between us and then I realised what he was about to say, but I was too slow to cut him off. “Is Mum going to sleep in there with me, too?”

  My mind was a whir of what I should say. I should have thought about this beforehand—talked to Dane about it.

  How did I explain this to Isaac? Should I just sleep in there with him?

  Dane caught the indecision in my eyes. “Your Mum’s in with me, mate. Grown up men and women share the same bed when they’re a couple.”

  I’d known we needed to break this to Isaac for a while—kind of working up to it. I just hadn’t been intending to do it quite as bluntly like this. “I…”

  Isaac didn’t miss a beat. “Mums and dads sleep in the same bed. Jeremy’s dad sleeps in the same bed as his mum. I know you’re not my real dad but does that mean you’re my sort of dad?”

  This was getting out of hand; I had no idea how to rein it in. “Isaac we’ll talk about it later.” We did not need this discussion right now when we just walked in and Dane felt a little unpredictable to me.

  “Actually Ari, I think it’s pretty easy to sort out right now.” I held my breath wondering where it was going to go. “Isaac, your mum’s my girlfriend, my woman. You asked about it before. You know what girlfriends are, don’t you?”

  Isaac nodded, his eyes never leaving Dane’s. “Well, when they’re grown ups, people that love each other and want to be together, live together and sleep together. It’s often the step before you get married. That’s what we’re doing now, living together. I’m not going anywhere so I guess that makes me your sort of dad, but only if you want me to be.”

  I braced not sure what to expect from him. Sometimes Isaac could blow up or conversely retreat when things were new.

  “Cool. That will be so cool. Wait until I tell Jeremy, Mum.” He jumped up and down then threw himself at Dane. Dane caught him, and only just managed to rescue his towel from an unplanned reveal. My heart melted and I was terrified at the same time—what if things went wro
ng? I had no idea how the next few days were going to pan out.

  “Can we sit down and have a man to man chat, Isaac?” Isaac immediately stilled at Dane’s tone and took a seat on the lounge; Dane sat beside him.

  Both of them turned and looked at me and I realised I was the intruder in this man conference.

  “Right,” I said and moved to the master bedroom. I shut the door, but didn’t pull it fully closed. I couldn’t help myself; I had to know what Dane was about to say. I trusted him one hundred percent with my son ordinarily, however, he was not totally himself at the moment. I was nervous.

  Then I heard Dane’s voice, “Isaac you know how I spoke to you the other day about my training program leading into the fight.”

  “Yeah.”

  “And you remember how I told you the last few days were going to be really hard for me because I have to do this crazy diet and stuff?”

  I heard another muffled, “Yeah.”

  “Well, it’s that time. I’m feeling ordinary, mate. My mind is muffled and I don’t feel so good. I’m probably not going to feel like playing video games and stuff with you like we usually do. I don’t feel like doing much of anything except sleeping. I’m going to do my very best not to get grumpy, particularly at you or your mum but, if I slip up I don’t want you to get too upset. I don’t mean it at the moment. I need you to remember I love both of you so much and it’s really hurting me to know that I might accidently say something to make you or your mum upset or feel bad. I want you to know it’s not your fault. I’m just going through a rough few days. Can you help me out with this?”

  “You love me?” I heard my son’s voice clear and I couldn’t help the tear that leaked over the edge of my eye.

  “Sure do, buddy.”

  “I love you too, Dane.”

  I couldn’t help myself, I had to peek. Isaac had thrown himself into Dane’s arms and was giving him a big hug.

  “I’ll help you and try to be good.”

  “I know you will, mate. You’re always the best and I couldn’t have a better sort of son.”

  Right then and there, my heart felt like it would explode, I felt so much love for both of the males in my life.

  Chapter 29

  Dane

  I woke before dawn. I’d tossed and turned all night; even having Arianne to cuddle up to hadn’t seemed to ease my mind. I’d slept; it just hadn’t been the refreshing sort I needed. Now it was my moment of reckoning.

  Today was weigh-in and I had to be below 83.9kg. Slowly, I made my way to the scales Reed had put in the bathroom. I used the toilet, then dropped my boxer shorts and stepped on.

  This was it. Would I make it?

  The digital read out flickered and danced before my eyes finally coming to stop on 84.7kg.

  Fuck! I needed to lose more weight.

  Somehow, I had to lose another kilo before midday, to be on the safe side. I felt as if I was standing at the bottom of Everest and I had four hours to climb it.

  I staggered back to the bedroom and slumped on the bed. The mattress caressed me, taunted me. I just wanted to drink and sleep so badly.

  Arianne stirred beside me. “Are you awake already?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What do you weigh?” This is what the bloody fight had reduced us to.

  “I need to drop a kilo. Call Xander will you, babe? He’ll know what to do.”

  “What about, Reed?” she asked.

  “Call him, too. I don’t give a fuck. I just want this to be over.” I knew I needed to do something; the problem was my brain was too damned foggy to think of anything right now.

  Ari reached over and grabbed her phone, a few minutes later Xander and Reed were standing beside my bed looking at me.

  “How do you feel?” Xander asked.

  “Awful.”

  “Get up and get dressed, layers, we’ll go hit the gym,” Reed decreed.

  “Can’t you see he’s half-dead?” Ari protested, like a lioness ready to protect her pride.

  Reed glared at her and I struggled to a sitting position. This was about to go downhill and quick.

  Xander was quicker. “She’s right, Reed. If he goes too hard now he won’t come back with the rehydrate. Plus, his cortisol levels will be through the roof from the stress and he won’t lose it anyway. What if we try a series of baths?”

  Reed’s face looked like thunder as he glared between us. “Okay, we’ll try that for an hour and see if it works.”

  Xander turned to Ari. “Can you fill the tub? As hot as the water will go and throw in about half a box of Epsom salts to draw more water out of him.”

  “Won’t it burn him?” she asked, obviously appalled at the idea.

  “No, hotels never have the temp too high. Besides, the water will cool as soon as it comes out of the tap.”

  She looked at me and I nodded to her before she scampered off.

  “You’ll be fine, mate, don’t worry. The last kilo will come off and you can have a soak and relax while you do it.”

  Some soak it would be, although I’d take the scalding hot water over the workout right now.

  Xander offered me a hand up and I took it gratefully. We walked into the bathroom and Reed followed.

  “Strip off and jump on the scales again,” Reed ordered.

  Xander lounged against the counter in the bathroom. Ari fiddled with some towels and Reed glared at me waiting for me to get on the scales.

  I did as he asked and dropped my boxers.

  “Fuck,” he muttered. It was as if Reed had been living in hope that I’d read the scales wrong.

  That just confirmed what I already knew. I looked between the three of them and Xander motioned with his chin to get in the tub.

  Gingerly, I stepped in and hissed. “Fuck that’s hot!” The water was up to my knees.

  “Stop, screwing around and get in,” Reed barked.

  Gingerly, I lowered myself into the bath. I winced and clenched my jaw as the hot water covered my balls, then my butt and higher, as I lowered my body into the base of the tub.

  “I hope you two weren’t planning on getting pregnant soon. That hot water will be boiling your swimmers as we speak,” Xander joked.

  “Hahaha…Not at the moment, are we babe?” Ari just blushed and started to stammer.

  “Just get under the damned water,” Reed growled.

  I sank lower and I felt the heat slide over me. I kept going until all that was left outside the water, was my nose and mouth. No joke, it felt like I was being cooked alive. I vowed to never touch a lobster again, if this is what they had to go through to make our plates.

  “Keep an eye on him and I’ll be back in a little while.”

  “So what should we do to pass the time?” Xander asked Ari. My hearing was muffled, but I could still make out his words.

  “He’s turning red,” Ari said to him concern in her voice. “Is that normal or safe?”

  “He’ll be fine. We just need to keep an eye on him. Make sure he doesn’t pass out from the heat.”

  After what seemed like an eternity in hell, I drew my head up a little and asked, “How long to go?”

  “Half way there. Another five minutes,” Xander replied.

  I sank back down and let out a groan. The water was cooling, but it was still really unpleasant.

  The seconds ticked by until finally, Xander called time. I clenched the sides of the tub and raised myself up. As soon as I was part way, Xander grabbed me under the elbow to steady me.

  “I’m okay,” I protested, not letting on how dizzy I actually felt.

  “Yep, you are, and I’m just making sure you stay that way.”

  Ari wrapped a towel around me and started wiping the water from my body. In other circumstances, this could have been quite enjoyable. Xander rose an eyebrow at me and I knew he could read my thoughts—bugger him.

  “Okay, on the scales,” he said and I moved over and stepped on.

  He peered down while I looked straight ahe
ad. If it was bad news, somehow not seeing it, would make it not as real, I convinced myself.

  “Yes!” Xander fist pumped the air. “I knew it would work.”

  “What? How much?” Ari asked.

  “He’s lost another half a kilo. Put that ice pack you grabbed for me on the back of his neck, Ari.”

  Half a kilo…I was almost there. I could do this.

  “You got this man. Take a break and you can go again.”

  Xander took out his phone. “Yeah Reed, first dip has sucked another half kilo out of him. We’ll let his core temperature come down a bit and go again in another half an hour.”

  I made it back to the bed and laid down. “Good idea, rest up as much as you can. I’m going to let Eden know where I am. She was still asleep. I’ll be back in time for your next dip.”

  “Thanks, I can’t wait.”

  He just grinned at me with sympathy in his eyes. Xander knew exactly what I was going through. “Only a few hours to go and you’ll be eating and drinking yourself silly.”

  “It’s the only thing getting me through.”

  Xander left and I looked over at Ari who plopped down on the bed beside me. “What?”

  She shook her head. “I’m just struggling to see you go through what you are. It just seems so extreme. I hate seeing you in pain or uncomfortable.”

  “It’ll be over soon. I should warn you though, chances are I’m going to be a bit battered and bruised come Sunday. You can’t fight in a cage and not come out with a few war wounds.”

  Arianne tried and failed to hide the look of anguish and concern on her face before she pushed it away.

  That look cut me deep. She was trying to be strong for me—I saw through it.

  It was killing her.

  I only hoped it was worth it.

  Arianne

  Somehow, Dane managed to get the weight off. I’d never witnessed something so damned heart wrenching. He was torturing himself for sport and I was struggling like hell to understand it. I’d never seen commitment or dedication like it. These guys were more than prepared to put their bodies on the line. They were all in to the extreme, taking everything to the absolute limit.