At the Heart of It

by Tawna Fenske

  “Hey, Jonah,” Amy said. “Nice work in there.”

  “Thanks.” He cleared his throat. “You were great, too, Viv.”

  He said nothing to Kate, but he gave her a friendly nod of acknowledgment. There, they could do this. They could play it cool, pretend nothing had happened.

  “How was last night, Jonah?” Viv asked.

  He frowned. “What?”

  “You said you had plans at the bookstore,” she said. “I assumed you had an event or something.”

  “Oh.” He cleared his throat again. “Right. It was great. Everything was great.”

  “Wonderful! I haven’t been in there for so long. I’d love to come by sometime and see what you’ve done with the place. Is your manager running things while you’re on set?”

  “Yeah. Beth’s in charge,” he said. “Everything’s running fine.”

  Kate looked away, worried her gaze was making him nervous. She focused on Amy instead, whose eyes held a hint of sympathy.

  “We’re actually going to do some filming at the bookstore next week,” Amy said. “Some B-roll backstory stuff with Jonah working out, shelving books, filling cat bowls—that sort of thing.”

  “Sure,” Jonah said, and Kate turned to see him nodding along with Amy. “Did you have a chance to talk with the execs about doing some stuff at my sister’s animal shelter?”

  “I ran it by Chase on the phone,” Amy said. “He gave it the green light. Kate can give you a call tonight to work out the schedule for those segments.”

  Kate nodded and tried not to look alarmed. This is how they’d normally split up the work. There was nothing suspicious about her being the one to work directly with Jonah. So why was she having trouble looking at Viv?

  “I can also shoot you an e-mail with some times,” Kate offered. “If you’re too busy to chat.”

  “Let’s play it by ear,” Jonah said.

  “Let’s.”

  Silence stretched out for a few beats, and Kate glanced at Viv. Was she noticing anything? Or was the awkwardness all in Kate’s head?

  Viv was smiling up at Jonah, still riding the wave of pride in their on-screen victory with Sam and Elena. “Thanks again for being here, Jonah,” she said. “I’m excited about what we’re doing here. What we’re accomplishing together. This is important work.”

  He nodded once. “Sure thing. Beats baling hay or cleaning sewers for a paycheck.”

  Viv laughed and touched his arm. It was probably meant to be a playful swat, but coming from Viv’s delicate hand, it looked like a caress. Kate breathed deeply, trying to ignore the sensation of someone grabbing her by the throat.

  She turned back to Amy, needing to get her eyes off the friendly exes. “You want to go grab some coffee? We can go over the figures for—”

  “Actually, ladies, I was hoping to talk with you quickly before you leave.”

  Kate swung her gaze back to Viv, who had blessedly removed her hand from Jonah’s arm. “Any chance you have a few moments?”

  Kate’s pulse thrummed in her ears, but she found herself nodding. “Of course.”

  “Excellent.” Viv reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “There’s something—private—I’d like to discuss. I’d really rather do this in my office if you don’t mind.”

  The words hung there in the air for a moment, and Kate froze. Did Viv know something? Had she read it in Kate’s face, or had Jonah given it away somehow?

  She avoided looking at him, but heard him mumble a farewell. Conscious of his footsteps retreating down the hall, she managed a faint wave, then turned to follow Viv the opposite direction. Amy fell into step beside Kate and gave her a discreet elbow nudge.

  “What the hell?” she asked with her eyes.

  Kate pressed her lips together, not daring to shrug as she watched Viv’s back moving down the hall ahead of them. Did Viv know something? Kate’s mind raced with excuses, with justifications for what happened between her and Jonah.

  It was just one time.

  There’s nothing serious going on.

  I would never do anything to compromise the show.

  Viv used a key to open a door at the end of the hallway. Pushing the door open, she waved them inside. Kate looked around, feeling like a terrified fangirl in Viv’s office. The desk was huge and uncluttered, and the bookshelves held an eclectic assortment of art and reference books. An unlit candle on the corner of an end table filled the room with the scent of sage and cedar. A cozy-looking red loveseat occupied one wall, but Kate sensed that wasn’t where she should sit.

  She turned and chose one of the padded leather chairs in front of the desk. Amy did likewise, folding her hands in her lap as they both watched Viv lock the door. Then she moved behind her desk in solemn silence. She seated herself in a tall leather chair, her posture unusually straight. Kate watched, on alert as Viv took a deep breath and laced her fingers together on the polished mahogany surface.

  “Thank you for meeting with me.” She looked at Kate, then Amy, then back to Kate. Her gaze held there for a few beats, and Kate could scarcely breathe.

  “I’m sorry to be dramatic, but it’s important to me that this conversation be discreet,” she said. “The walls and doors are soundproofed in here. I want us all to feel confident and secure that the conversation we’re about to have will stay within the confines of this safe space.”

  Kate swallowed hard, ordering herself to nod and look calm. “Of course. You have our word.”

  Amy nodded beside her. “Absolutely. The contracts we’ve all signed have nondisclosure clauses that extend to private conversations like this.”

  “That’s comforting.” Viv cleared her throat. “I spoke with Chase Whitfield this morning.”

  The hairs on Kate’s arms prickled. “With Chase Whitfield,” she repeated, trying to sound cool. Trying to pretend it was no big deal that the on-camera talent was making covert calls to Empire TV’s executive director. “That’s—unexpected.”

  “I know,” Viv said, nodding once. “I realize that probably feels like I’m going over your head. But I had a good reason.”

  Kate found her tongue suddenly didn’t work, so she was grateful to Amy for speaking up. “What’s the reason?”

  Viv looked up at the ceiling a moment, almost as though she was gathering her thoughts. Kate shoved her hands between her knees and prayed no one would notice they were shaking.

  “It has to do with Jonah,” she said. “Well, more specifically, with the idea of my ex-husband dating again. Dating and having sex and falling in love and all that might entail.”

  Kate’s mouth went dry. She opened it, ready to stammer an explanation, but Amy put a hand on her knee. “You mean what we talked about yesterday?” she said. “About the possibility of using that story line for the arc?”

  “Right,” Viv said. “When I sat down yesterday with Jonah and started talking about the idea of one of us dating again, I was hit with this overwhelming sense of clarity. Clarity like I haven’t experienced in years.”

  Kate swallowed hard. “What sort of clarity?”

  “Clarity about Jonah. And the reason I don’t want him dating anyone else.”

  Oh, Christ.

  “What is the reason?” Amy asked.

  “Because I love him. Again. Still, I mean—I don’t think I ever stopped. And it’s become crystal clear to me that I have a lot of work to do to win him back.”

  Kate’s stomach lurched. Her palms were sweating, and she wondered if Viv had any idea. “I—um—wow. I didn’t see this coming.”

  “How does Jonah feel about this?” Amy asked.

  Kate glanced at her, grateful to her for asking the right questions. The questions she herself couldn’t ask without her voice trembling, her hands shaking. Amy sat stone-faced, looking composed enough for the both of them.

  “That’s the thing,” Viv said. “I know I preach open and honest communication, but I’m still processing my own thoughts. Considering the best way to appro
ach things.”

  Amy tilted her head to the side. “You mean dating your ex-husband again?”

  Viv sighed. “The divorce was my idea. I’m the one who initiated it. I take full responsibility for that mistake.”

  “Mistake,” Kate repeated, trying to follow Viv’s train of thought. “I’m not sure I understand. What does Chase Whitfield have to do with this?”

  “I had an idea,” Viv began, “A thought about sharing my feelings in a rather—unconventional way. And I wanted to get his take on it. To see how he thought a bombshell like that might impact the show.”

  The words took a moment to sink in. They were still sinking in before Kate could find her voice.

  “Wait,” Amy said, catching up more quickly than Kate. “You’re thinking of making this part of the show? The story arc they’re asking for?”

  “I wanted to get Chase’s read on it, yes.” Vivienne took a shaky breath and looked at each of them in turn. “You think it’s a bad idea?”

  “You’re talking about dating Jonah again,” Kate said slowly. “On television.”

  “I thought it might be something people could learn from,” she said. “Seeing me put it all out there. Watching me be humbled, watching me lay my heart on the line. Letting viewers see the authenticity of our interactions with one another in a personal way.”

  Kate stared at her. “You’re wanting to win back your husband.”

  “Ex-husband,” Amy pointed out, and Kate wanted to kiss her. “What did Mr. Whitfield say about your idea?”

  “Chase thought it was a compelling story line,” she said. “That regardless of how it turns out, we could piece it all together after the fact in editing.”

  “I’m sure he did,” Amy said. Her voice was completely professional, but there was an edge to it. An edge only Kate would catch. The blond producer smiled and reached across the desk to touch Viv’s hand. “Dr. Brandt—”

  “Please, it’s Viv. There’s no need to be formal here. I’m honestly asking for your input.”

  “Our input.” Kate hated that she kept parroting Viv’s words, but she honestly couldn’t find her own. “Our input on the idea of introducing this into the show?”

  “Yes,” Viv said. “That, and—well, you’ve gotten to know Jonah.” She paused, and Kate held her breath. “I’m wondering what your impression is.”

  “Of Jonah?”

  “Of whether there’s any possibility we might rekindle things between us.”

  “I—I—” Kate’s mouth was dry. “I honestly couldn’t say.”

  Amy leaned forward. “Have you broached the subject at all with Jonah? Gotten some sense of how he might be feeling about rekindling things?”

  Viv cleared her throat again and glanced away. “Chase Whitfield was of the opinion that we ought to keep it from him. Not to let Jonah know my intent up front. To let things play out on the air however they will.”

  “What?” Kate stared at her. She gripped the armrests of the chair as the bottom fell out of her stomach.

  “That’s insane,” Amy said.

  Viv frowned and met Amy’s eyes again. “Actually, I think he has a point. How better to capture the honesty of the interaction?”

  “By being dishonest with a member of the team?” Kate asked. Her words sounded more impassioned than she meant them to, and she ordered herself to calm down.

  “It’s not dishonest,” Viv said. “While expressing feelings is important, so is holding them in check until the right time. What sort of world would this be if people went around sharing every feeling they’re having with no checks and balances?” She gave an awkward little laugh and glanced from Amy to Kate and back again. “Just because you have sexual fantasies about the checker at the grocery store doesn’t mean you should blurt it out the first time you feel a pang of longing as he bags your carrots. You need to ease into it. Let things play out slowly and naturally.”

  Kate’s brain swam with words that weren’t arranging themselves into any rational response.

  Why would you—?

  What happens if—?

  How is Jonah going to—?

  “Yes, there’s an uncertainty about it,” Viv said, reading Kate’s thoughts, though hopefully not all of them. “That’s part of what will make viewers connect with it. The authenticity.”

  Amy rested her hands on the edge of the desk. “You mentioned speaking privately with Jonah yesterday. Did you manage to get a sense of how he might respond to something like this?”

  “Is he interested in—” Kate’s voice caught a little, but she held it together. “In getting back together?”

  “I didn’t ask outright, of course,” Viv said. “I’m only just realizing these feelings myself.”

  “Of course,” Amy said evenly. “But we have to ask, before we start down this path. Before we spend a lot of man hours getting footage for something that might not pan out the way you’re hoping.”

  Kate held her breath, dizzy and nauseated and desperate to flee the room. But she wanted to hear Viv’s answer. Needed to hear it.

  “I understand,” Viv said softly. “And yes. I have a sense that Jonah feels the same way I do.”

  Kate’s chest felt like someone was standing on it. She breathed in for four seconds, held it for seven, released it for eight. The exercise wasn’t calming at all. Her lungs were on fire, along with the rest of her chest.

  “I just want to go on record saying this seems like a risky idea,” Amy said. “There are so many ways this could backfire.”

  Viv gave her serene smile. “Isn’t love always worth a little risk?”

  Kate stared at her, honestly not sure what the answer was supposed to be. She licked her lips and folded her hand on her lap. “Yes. Yes, I suppose it is.”

  “Wonderful.” Viv smiled and stood up. “I’m so glad we had this talk.”

  “So you’re going ahead with it?” Amy asked. “With trying to woo your ex-husband back on national television.”

  “Yes,” Vivian said softly. She looked toward the window, her expression solemn. “I need to see this through.”

  “Okay.” Kate gripped the armrests tightly for a few seconds, then let go. “So I guess we’ll just—” We’ll just what, Kate? her brain screamed at her, pointing out all the ways this could go horribly wrong for all of them. “We’ll just wait and see how it plays out.”

  Viv stepped around her desk and leaned against the edge of it. Kate knew she should stand up, too, but she wasn’t sure her legs would cooperate.

  “Chase promised to send me a few notes,” Viv said. “Some ideas about timing, and what might play best with a television audience.”

  “Good,” Kate managed. “That’s good.”

  “In the meantime,” Viv continued, “I’m hoping to start laying the groundwork by spending more time with Jonah.”

  “Of course.” Kate swallowed. Was it her imagination, or did Viv’s gaze linger on her? Viv looked away, then smiled at Amy.

  “Well.” Viv pressed her hands together in prayer position. “I don’t want to keep you two any longer. I know you had budget items to go over. Thank you for hearing me out.”

  “Our pleasure.” Amy stood up, then reached down and pulled Kate to her feet like it was the most normal thing in the world to help an able-bodied woman perform a simple task. Kate said a silent prayer of thanks that her legs managed to hold her up.

  “Kate and I will do a little brainstorming about what you’ve proposed,” Amy said. “Maybe a SWOT analysis to look at all the possible angles.”

  “Lovely.” Viv smiled. “Thank you, both of you. It’s so wonderful knowing this program is in such good hands.”

  “We aim to please,” Kate said a little weakly. She gave Viv the most normal smile she could muster, though her lips felt stuck to her teeth. “See you tomorrow, Viv.”

  “Have a lovely night,” Viv called back as Amy towed her out the door and down the hall. Even when they were out of earshot, neither of them said a word.


  They’d just reached the front door when Kate froze. “Wait,” she said. “We need to clean up the—”

  “Leave it,” Amy said. “I’ll text Pete to make sure everything’s put away. We’re filming here early tomorrow anyway.”

  She ushered Kate to the rental car, stopping to grab Kate’s purse so she could extract the keys. Amy unlocked the doors with a beep, then nudged Kate into the passenger seat and ran around to the driver’s side.

  “What the actual fuck?” Amy said the second she pulled the door closed.

  Kate stared at her, still too stunned to process. “So she’s going to woo Jonah back.”

  “She’s going to try to woo Jonah back,” Amy pointed out. “There’s no way to know how that will go.”

  Kate glanced back at the house, half expecting Viv to be watching them. There was no one at any of the windows. She turned back to Amy.

  “I feel like we should tell him.”

  Amy shook her head. “Kate.” There was so much emotion crammed into that single syllable. “You know we can’t,” Amy continued. “You heard what I said when we sat down. That was a private conversation. We’re contractually bound to keep her confidence.”

  Kate knew that, of course. That didn’t make it any easier to wrap her head around. “But there has to be a clause in there somewhere—”

  “Unless one cast member is planning to kill another, we have to let it play out,” she said. “You know as well as I do that blindsides and secret plots are the name of the game in reality TV.”

  “I know that,” Kate said. “Maybe he wants this.”

  “Wants to get back with his ex-wife?” Amy snorted. “You don’t really believe that.”

  “I don’t know what to believe.” Kate glanced back at the house and wondered if Viv had noticed their car hadn’t left the drive. “What if I did know for sure that Jonah’s not interested? Do I owe it to Viv to tell her?”

  “Tell her what? ‘Hey, I shagged your ex-husband six ways to Sunday and ruined him for other women, so I don’t think he’ll take you back.’”

  Okay, it sounded silly when Amy put it that way. “No,” Kate said slowly. “I don’t think that’s true. I think—hell, I don’t know what to think.”