At the Heart of It

by Tawna Fenske

  “She does have a point,” Amy said. “Stupid though it may be, it would make for great television no matter how it turns out.”

  “Fucking Chase Whitfield,” Kate said, even though she knew it wasn’t his fault.

  “Come on,” Amy said. “Let’s skip the coffee and go straight for martinis. My treat.”

  She started the engine and Kate felt a fresh wave of gratitude that Amy was in her court. Amy looked over then and gave her a sympathetic smile. “You okay?”

  “Yes.”

  “Will you be able to keep the secret?”

  Kate nodded, pretty sure she was on the brink of setting a record for the most secrets kept in a single week. “Yeah,” she said. “Mum’s the word.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  The next few days of filming passed in a blur for Jonah. Kate behaved like the consummate professional, orchestrating detailed filming schedules and pulling cast members aside for on-the-fly interviews (which Jonah had learned to call “OTFs” so the crew members didn’t look at him like a dumbass).

  He tried not to take it personally that Kate never handled his OTFs, always deferring them to Amy or one of the other folks on set. This is what they’d agreed, after all. They both had to pretend nothing had happened between them.

  He couldn’t help wishing Kate weren’t so good at it.

  A couple of times he tried texting her after hours. Once about a beer he thought she’d like, and another time with some silly message about bubble bath. He also messaged her about the filming schedule at Jossy’s shelter.

  That was the only text she answered right away.

  He knew that was for the best. She was just sticking with what they’d agreed, and he was the idiot who thought maybe they could still make something happen. That there was some way sleeping together wouldn’t affect the show or their friendship or anything else.

  He knew better, dammit.

  Even so, he couldn’t stop his stupid heart from lurching at the sight of her coming up the walkway toward Jossy’s shelter. She was still wearing the skirt and heels she’d worn all day on set, and he wondered if her feet hurt like hell. He thought about asking, but decided against it.

  Her feet were none of his business. Neither was the rest of her body.

  “Hey,” he called as he pushed open the door.

  “Jonah. Good to see you again.” Kate gave a polite nod and slipped through the door with the camera crew marching along behind her. Jonah scanned the group, relieved to see no sign of Viv. His ex had been like cling wrap lately, always hanging around wanting to go over notes or have tea together.

  It was nice to have some space for once.

  “Jossy’s in the back room wrangling puppies,” he said. “She thought that might be a good place to start.”

  “Puppies are perfect,” Kate said, smiling as she swung a big microphone over one shoulder. “Everyone loves puppies.”

  “Come on. I’ll take you back there.”

  He led the way down the hall with the crew following behind. A tech guy named Dan was walking around with a gadget Jonah had come to recognize as a light meter. Pete kept holding his camera at odd angles and swooping in for different approaches to the same shot.

  “Nice place you’ve got here,” he mumbled as he moved past Jonah. “Your sister’s doing great work.”

  “Thank you,” Jonah said, remembering the text message he’d gotten from Jossy early that morning.

  Did you say Pete Waller was the camera guy on your show?

  Yeah, why? Jonah had texted back.

  He just made a $300 online donation to the shelter.

  Jonah had smiled and texted a quick reply. That sounds like Pete. Helluva cameraman, even better human.

  Jonah watched him work now, wondering how he’d ended up on a show like this. With a demeanor that reminded Jonah of a kindhearted Sasquatch, Pete seemed infinitely more decent than most of the network folks. He brought doughnuts for the crew every morning and made it a point to know everyone’s name—even the caterers and the lowliest intern. What drew someone like that to a career in reality TV?

  As Kate fell into step beside him, Jonah wondered the same thing about her.

  “Thanks again for fitting this in,” she said. “I’m glad we could make it work.”

  “So am I,” he said. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  “Me, too,” she said. “For your sister, I mean. I think it’s great we can help the shelter.”

  He smiled down at her. “Just for my sister?”

  She smiled back, and there was a wistfulness to it. She leaned closer, lowering her voice. “It’s good to see you, too.”

  Jonah pushed open the door to the puppy room. The second he did it, eight pairs of eyes looked up at him. Seven pairs belonged to floppy little fur-covered bodies that came rushing toward the doorway.

  The other pair was Jossy’s. She grinned up at them from her spot on the floor. “Hey, there!”

  She started to stand, and Jonah recognized she was having difficulty. The prosthetic leg must be giving her trouble again. He hurried over, but Jossy waved him away. “I’m fine, I’m fine. Just a little stiff today, that’s all.”

  She got to her feet and stuck her hand out to Kate. “I’m Jossy, and I swear that’s not pee on my hand,” she said. “Puppy slobber, maybe.”

  “Puppy slobber I can handle,” Kate said as she shook Jossy’s hand. “I’m Kate Geary. Thanks so much for inviting us here.”

  “My pleasure. I was super pumped when Jonah told me about the idea to film here.”

  “We’ll definitely do what we can to bring attention to the organization,” Kate said. “Animal advocacy is always popular with viewers.”

  “So are shirtless men, apparently.” Jossy flashed him a knowing grin, and Jonah rolled his eyes at her.

  “This is the rest of the crew,” Jonah said. “Pete Waller, Dan Kinny—is Amy not with you?”

  Kate shook her head and glanced away. “She had some things to work on with Viv. Some details in the production schedule.”

  Jonah nodded and tried not to look too relieved. The fewer people, the better, as far as he was concerned. If he had his way, they’d just have him and Kate here with no one else.

  “I’m glad to finally meet you,” Kate said to Jossy. Jonah watched, wondering if she’d noticed the prosthetic leg. It wasn’t obvious when Jossy wore pants, but today she’d chosen ankle-baring capris. Some people might not pick up on it, but Kate wasn’t some people. Jonah already knew from working with her how observant she was.

  He glanced over at Pete to see the cameraman zooming in, and he felt a pang of anger. Goddammit. It would be just like them to exploit his sister’s disability. Jonah glanced at Kate and saw her look at the cameraman, then shake her head once with a frown.

  Pete nodded and redirected the camera at the mob of puppies frolicking at their feet.

  “They’re so cute!” Kate declared. She knelt down among them, rewarded by a chorus of playful growls and tiny, nipping teeth. “You’re so fuzzy,” she cooed. “So fuzzy and so very, very sharp.”

  Jossy laughed. “They’re teething right now. Watch your necklace. They’ll grab hold and never let go.”

  “They’re also potty training, apparently.” Kate winced and glanced at her shoe. “I think little fuzznuts here just filled my favorite shoe with a little liquid love.”

  “Oh!” Jossy gasped and rushed toward her. “I’m so sorry. Let me grab some paper towels.”

  “It’s fine, totally my fault,” Kate said. “I know better than to wear good shoes to a shoot like this. I normally have an extra pair in the car, but I forgot today.”

  She rested one hand on the wall and pried the one off her right foot, then frowned. Glancing around, she spotted the area marked Wee Wee Station and hobbled over. “There,” she said as she dumped out what looked like a zillion gallons of puppy pee. “That’s better.” She grimaced, then leaned down to put it back on her foot.

  “Wait!” Jossy s
aid. “What size are you? I think I have some ballet flats in my bag.”

  “Eleven,” Kate said, glancing at Jossy’s feet. Both the real one and the prosthetic foot were encased in Converse sneakers. “You look like about a six?”

  “Six and a half,” Jossy said. “Sorry, that won’t work.”

  “I have some running shoes,” Jonah offered. “They’re a men’s ten and a half, so probably a couple sizes too big, but maybe better than four sizes too small?”

  Kate seemed to hesitate. “Are you sure? That seems a little . . . intimate.”

  It was on the tip of his tongue to remind her that he’d been inside her, so sharing shoes seemed beside the point. But obviously he couldn’t say that. “It’s fine by me, but your call,” he said. “I promise I don’t have cooties, but it might wreck the look of your outfit.”

  “Ha!” Kate blew a loose strand of hair off her forehead. “Frankly, I’d love to get out of these heels. I accept.”

  Jonah smiled. “I’ll go grab them.”

  He hustled out of the room and located the running shoes he’d stashed behind the counter. They were new enough not to be smelly, though the bright-orange hue would clash like crazy with Kate’s green blouse.

  But she just thanked him as he handed them over along with a pair of freshly laundered socks in a gaudy neon yellow. She hopped over to a spigot and rinsed off her foot, then dried it with a nappy gray towel that Jossy handed her.

  “Thanks, guys.” She pulled on his shoes and socks, but kept her focus on Jossy. “You’re right, this is a great spot for shooting. The puppies are perfect.”

  “That’s what I was thinking,” his sister said. “Even though puppies never have much trouble getting adopted, they’re a good tool to draw people in.”

  Kate grinned. “Sort of like shirtless dog walkers?”

  “Exactly like shirtless dog walkers.” Jossy winked at Jonah. “Only much cuter.” She looked down at Kate’s feet and laughed. “Now that is a cute look.”

  Kate glanced at her own feet, and Jonah half expected her to recoil in embarrassment. Instead, she laughed, turning her foot from side to side. The shoes were a couple of sizes too big, and with the yellow, orange, and green, she looked like a well-dressed circus clown.

  She looked adorable. Jonah felt a warmth in the center of his chest that had nothing to do with puppies.

  “Okay,” Kate said, clapping her hands together and turning her attention to the camera crew. “What do you think? Will this space work?”

  Pete nodded. “Yeah. I’m going to set up in the corner over there.”

  “Cool.” Kate turned away and got busy unpacking gear. “What do you think about saving the OTFs until the end?”

  “Good call,” Pete said, scratching his beard. “You want to give me a quick opinion about the lighting?”

  As Kate slipped away, Jossy sidled up to Jonah and whispered in his ear. “What’s an OTF?”

  “On-the-fly interview,” he replied. “I thought you were the world’s biggest reality-TV fan.”

  “I watch it, I don’t film it.” Jossy’s eyes followed Kate across the room as she helped Pete string cable from one side to the other. “I like her. Very unpretentious.”

  “Very smart,” Jonah agreed. “Very good at her job.”

  “Yeah, but not in a Viv sort of way. She doesn’t seem like someone who needs to overshadow everyone else so her light looks brighter.”

  Jonah nodded, but said nothing as Kate shuffled back toward them in her clown shoes. “Tell me a little more about the whole shirtless dog-walking thing,” she said. “How has it worked out for you from a marketing standpoint?”

  “Great!” Jossy said. “We’ve seen a thirty percent uptick in adoptions since my gross brother started stripping for charity. I’m thinking of trolling for other men to take a shirtless shift.”

  “Impressive,” Kate said, and Jonah couldn’t help noticing her gaze flick over his chest. But she quickly brought her focus back to Jossy. “Are the pets he takes for walks always the ones who get adopted?”

  “No, that’s the great thing. Once he gets people through the door, the animals sort of sell themselves. We’ve found homes for a lot of pets that might have been overlooked otherwise.”

  “That’s terrific.”

  “Yeah,” Jossy agreed. “Turns out my big brother can be kinda useful.”

  “He does have a certain charm.” Kate looked at him and gave a quiet smile that gave Jonah a pleasant ache in the middle of his chest. He longed to wrap his arms around her and press his mouth against the warm skin behind her ear, but Kate turned back to the camera and lighting guys. “You guys about ready to roll?”

  “Five minutes,” Pete reported.

  Kate nodded and bent down to pet a persistent puppy who’d started tugging at her shoelace. Jonah’s shoelace.

  “You can pick him up if you want,” Jossy said. “It’s good to handle them as much as possible.”

  “You just made my whole week.” Kate bent down and scooped up the fluffy mop, pressing her face into his fur. She murmured something against the little dog’s ear, then began strolling the perimeter of the room. Jossy fell into step beside her. Jonah stood watching, feeling like an outsider in his own life.

  “Are you comfortable giving us an on-camera interview?” Kate asked. “It’s okay if you say no. We’ll keep the focus on Jonah.”

  Jossy glanced at him, looking for a cue. He nodded, trying to convey he was game for anything. “Sure,” Jossy said, looking back at Kate. “I mean, whatever you think will help shed some light on what we do here. Puppies, shirtless ex-Marines, a crippled girl with a prosthetic leg.”

  Kate froze. She turned and looked at Jossy with an intensity in her gaze that made Jonah’s breath catch in his throat.

  “You have my word that we won’t do anything to exploit you like that,” she said softly. “That’s not why we’re here. Not at all.”

  Jossy smiled and reached over to stroke the ears of the puppy in Kate’s arms. “It’s okay. I was joking, mostly, but I don’t mind if you do want to show it. You know, zoom in on the fake leg or whatever.”

  Kate shook her head. “If we do choose to show that—and I promise you’ll get to consent if that’s the case—I promise we won’t do anything to make you look weak or helpless. If anything, there’s a benefit to showing the normalcy of someone with a disability doing something amazing.”

  Jossy beamed. His sister had just made a new best friend.

  “Come on,” Jossy said. “Let me give you a tour of the rest of the place.”

  By the time they finished filming for the day, the sun had long since gone down. Jonah glanced at his watch and tried to remember the last time he’d eaten.

  He looked up to see Jossy yawning. “Come on.” He slung an arm around his sister’s shoulders and resisted the impulse to give her a noogie. “Let me take you to dinner. How about Cactus?”

  “Tempting, but I’ll pass,” she said. “I’m pooped. Besides, I need to get home and feed all the assholes before they tear my kitchen apart.”

  Kate smiled as she packed pieces of lighting gear into a fancy-looking crate. “You have a house full of assholes?”

  “I am the consummate crazy cat lady,” Jossy said. “I have a soft spot for the ones no one else adopts. The ones with attitude problems or missing limbs or some weird fungus that makes their hair fall out in clumps.”

  “I love it,” Kate said. She was still wearing Jonah’s running shoes, and something about that made him feel happy. “I wish I could have a pet. Someday, maybe.”

  “Hey, you can come over anytime and pet mine,” Jossy said. “Not tonight, though. Tonight I just want to put my PJs on and eat ice cream straight from the carton.”

  “That sounds like the perfect plan.”

  “It was so great meeting you, Kate.” Jossy stepped up and pulled Kate into a hug, flashing Jonah a thumbs-up behind her back. “Love her!” Jossy mouthed, grinning at him.

  Jon
ah nodded, trying to keep a straight face. Trying not to let on that he had anything other than a professional relationship with Kate.

  “It was great meeting you, too,” Kate said as she broke the hug. “I’m so impressed by what you’re doing here.”

  “Thanks!” Jossy tucked a fire-red curl behind one ear. “Call me if you have more questions. Or if you just want to grab a drink sometime. Something besides the nasty beer my brother’s always drinking.”

  “I’ve developed a fondness for the nasty beer,” Kate said, flashing him a smile. “But I’d love to grab a drink sometime. I could use a little girl time.”

  “Sounds good.” Jossy moved toward the door, then turned back to Jonah. “You okay locking up by yourself?”

  “I’ve got it covered.”

  “You promise you won’t forget to set the alarm this time?”

  “It was just the one time,” he muttered, prodding her toward the door with a boom mike pole that Pete had left propped next to the door. Jossy giggled and scuttled away.

  “’Night, Joss.”

  “Good night, Shirtless Wonder.” She squeezed him hard, standing on tiptoe to whisper in his ear. “Much better pick this time,” she whispered.

  Then she pulled away, scurrying out the door before he had a chance to ask what the hell had given her the idea that he had any interest in Kate.

  Kate, who was now alone in a room with him for the first time since they’d slept together. Jonah looked at her and gave a small shrug.

  “So here we are,” he said at last.

  “Here we are.” Kate smiled, but there was something in her eyes he couldn’t read. Something bothering her.

  “You okay, Kate?”

  She nodded. “Just tired. And hungry. And tired. Did I mention tired?”

  “You might have.”

  “Thanks for the shoes.” She tipped her foot to the side and smiled down at them. “Do you mind if I wear them home and give them back tomorrow?”

  “No problem. Keep them as long as you like. The clown look is a good one for you.”