Roses & Thorns: Women

by Bry Ann

  I step onto one of the tables and run across it, not caring at this moment if it breaks. I'm so happy. So happy it feels like my insides might explode. When I get to the chair to get down I'm swept right off my feet, cradled in his arms. I squirm half-heartedly trying to get out.

  “Gotcha,” he says, looking directly into my eyes.

  “Now just don’t let go.”

  He shakes his head. “Never. I’ll let everything else go before you.”

  “Kiss me, Adam.”

  And he does. He kisses me like… like he loves me.

  He shows me what pleasure is.

  I’d almost forgotten my body was capable of anything other than pain, but he shows me how wrong I was. He didn’t even try to have sex with me, instinctively knowing I wasn't ready for that. He put up with my moments of panic.

  Simply speaking, he changed everything.

  And I'm terrified.

  I walked right up to the edge of the cliff. Simply trusting he wouldn’t push me over the edge.

  Chapter 13:

  Rose:

  “Why are we stopping here?” I just about shriek.

  I'm so on edge it’s ridiculous. I can’t think straight. I ran. Now I'm willingly going back? He does something to me. Takes my brain, sends it through a meat grinder and then sticks it back in my head like nothing is wrong.

  When EVERYTHING is wrong!

  “Calm down sis. His Boss called and told us some shit is going down at the house. Told us we needed to stall for a bit.”

  “What shit? Lacey is there!”

  “Relax,” Nix says in a calm tone as he pulls into the motel parking lot, “He’ll protect her. He said it’s not a big deal, but he didn’t want us pulling up in the middle of it.”

  “Okay.”

  I look around at the thinning blue paint of the motel and laugh. Nix spins around, looking at me like I’ve lost my damn mind. Maybe I have.

  “Well. At least I know Sven isn’t following us here. He’d never stay at this dump.”

  Nix smirks. “Oh, I think he’d stay anywhere you are.”

  “Asshole!” I throw my wallet at him as Sven’s fancy black car pulls up next to us.

  Nix laughs and pretends to stifle through my wallet.

  “Hmm… you’re loaded.”

  “It’s not my money dickhead. You know that! It’s the money Lacey stole.”

  “You’re so worked up sis. Calm down.”

  I huff and throw the door open. Sven is standing there, immaculately dressed, hands clasped together, ankles crossed. I slam the door shut and hear Nix laughing to himself as he gets out of the car after me.

  He turns to Sven.

  “You drive her crazy.”

  “Don’t encourage him Nix!”

  Sven is smirking slightly, but it’s actually not as cocky as I’d expect. He unfolds himself and walks over to me, placing his hands on my shoulders. I'm fuming. I can feel my heart beating frantically against my chest like a kick drum.

  “You need to calm down Rose. I could hear your heart pounding from the other side of the parking lot.”

  “You two are driving me…”

  “Rose,” Sven says firmly. “Everything is okay. Everyone’s safe. You need to relax.”

  My shoulders fall, and the breath I’d been holding wooshes out of my lungs. How does he read me so easily? I'm not an open book. I don’t get it.

  “You good?” Nix says as he pushes off the car.

  I nod slightly.

  “Alright then. I have a call to make. Sven, get the rooms booked. Rose, you sleep where you want.”

  Then he’s gone.

  “Who are you calling?” I call after him.

  He turns to me, a dark expression on his face.

  “I'm getting my girl back from the fucking devil.”

  With that, he storms off. I wince and cradle myself in my arms. I feel Sven looking at me, but I'm not ready to address what my own father is doing to poor Nix.

  “Are you going to get the rooms?” I say, still refusing to look at him.

  Strong arms wrap around my waist from behind. His rings feel cold against my skin.

  “Come with me.”

  Then he pulls away. I turn to him. He’s walking off. Like an idiot, I scramble after him. He can’t leave alone me out here.

  “We need two rooms,” Sven says lazily to the probably drunk girl working the counter. I walk up next to him. His hand finds my hip and squeezes. The lady rattles off a price. Sven places a wad of cash on the counter. She glances up at him with wide eyes. Well, she’s a lot more pleasant after that. She makes some keys and hands them to us, still smacking her gun.

  Sven gets out of there as soon as he can. I laugh as he frantically wipes his hands on the back of his pants. He’s a bit of a germaphobe.

  “You’re staying with me,” he snaps. His gaze is so intense it takes a lot for me to throw my shoulders back and send his gaze right back in his face.

  “I haven’t decided yet.”

  “Rose,” he warns, narrowing his eyes, “Don’t test me right now.”

  He looks disturbed. “What’s wrong?”

  He doesn’t respond. He storms off down the sidewalk towards our room. When we reach the correct door he places a hand on my lower back and ushers me inside, barely taking the time for the light on the door to phase from red to green.

  “God this is disgusting. I hate this.”

  “I bet you’ve never been poor in your life,” I say laughing and shaking my head.

  Sven whips around so fast, he’s like lightning. In an instant, he has me pinned to the wall.

  “You know nothing about my life. Shut up about things you don’t know,” he growls.

  My eyes widen as he pushes away, furiously yanking off his tie. This isn’t the Sven I know. He throws his coat off onto the bed and starts to unbutton his shirt. I walk up to him and place my hand on his chest.

  “What’s wrong?”

  He stares at me. He’s still so put together for all the turmoil playing in his eyes.

  “I want to hate you. This was fun. You were fun. It’s not anymore. Not at all.”

  “What’s going on with you? You’re so different.”

  “I hate motels!” he screams. Completely undone.

  My jaw hits my chest and my eyes widen. He has a past. I guess I didn’t think... based on his demeanor, how could he…? I have no right to ask him about it either. We are nothing but a confused, sick game.

  I use my hand to set him back on the bed. His eyes are guarded and angry. There are demons there. I'm shaking from shock. I slowly unbutton his shirt. He watches me, not letting his face give anything away. Once his shirt is fully unbuttoned, I stand and slowly push it off him, letting my fingers run along his shoulders. He’s perfect. His abs are sculpted, the hair that leads down the center of his pants… he’s just perfect.

  I crouch down and slowly unbutton his belt. When the top button is undone he grabs my wrists. I look up at him. I don’t know how to help him. Gently, he pulls me to my feet. Not so gently, he pulls me onto the bed until both of us are lying back. I'm caged under his arms. I'm trying not to be turned on by him, but my body doesn’t understand the sickness in that. All it knows is that a sexy as hell guy is hovering over me. Stupid body.

  He stares at me for a long time.

  “How do you think I got into the treatment center instead of going to prison?”

  My heart sings at the mention of the Fallen Ridge. It was my home for so long. My passion.

  “Uh, you’re manipulative?”

  “Yes. But how the fuck could I manipulate a courtroom. Think Rose.”

  My eyes widen. “Insanity. Trauma. It’s… that’s how you got to the treatment center.”

  “Bingo. Trauma. I shared my story. It was an easy sell.”

  “Oh my God.”

  “Shocked?”

  “Yes!”

  “Why?”

  “You seem… I don’t know… undamageable. If tha
t’s a word? How… someone hurt you?”

  His lip twitches. “Yes.”

  He leans back on the bed and pulls me into his side.

  “I'm here now, and you will eat. Understood?”

  My head whirls from the subject change.

  “I'm fine Sven.”

  “Damn it, Rose!”

  He shoots out of the bed.

  “You’re skin and bone. I hate seeing you like this.”

  He shoves his pants down his legs, sending a terribly timed pang of desire through my system. Sven in his boxers is a beautiful site.

  “I'm sorry.”

  I look down, feeling actually ashamed of my looks for once.

  “Don’t be sorry. Fix it. Sorry doesn’t do anything. I'm sorry you got shot, but that doesn’t fucking matter to you. What matters is what I do now to fix it. I'm trying to fix it, so you fix it.”He goes to the bathroom and slams the door. I crawl out of bed, and quietly walk out of the room. I walk down the cold cement path until I hear voices.

  “It’s her choice! She’s safe. That’s what fucking matters. I'm the one who’s been with Rose. She’s fucking dying not getting closure on this. Her eating habits would kill her long before he did! Just let me speak to her, please. I’ve done everything he’s asked. Just let me fucking speak with her.”

  Nix’s voice is so desperate. Pleading. My heart feels like it’s been set on fire. There’s a long pause and then…

  “Baby?” Nix’s voice croaks. “Hi. How are you?”

  There’s a pause. My heart breaks for them as I listen in. This is not the Nix I know.

  “I know. I'm sorry. He won’t hurt you.” Even I can tell in Nix doesn’t believe that.

  “No, wait! Please!” he screams. “Damn it! DAMN IT!”

  I hear him slap the wall. I can’t take it anymore. I whip around the corner and grab the cell from his hand. Nix turns to me, stunned.

  “Let her go!” I scream into the phone.

  “You must be Rose.”

  I duck out of Nix’s way.

  “Damn it, Rose!” Nix yells behind me.

  “Tell my dad I want her free.”

  The man doesn’t say anything.

  “Damn it, let her go!”

  My words are muffled at the end because a body pummeling into mine sends me flying into a brick wall. Quickly Nix pulls me away, scanning my body once to make sure he didn’t cause any damage. He rips the cell from my hand and puts it back to his ear.

  “Talk to your boss. I want her free.”

  Then he clicks off.

  “Damn it, Rose!” Nix roars. He yanks on his hair, trying to reign in his temper. “Get out of here, before I say something I’ll regret. Go.”

  “I just want to help. Why is he doing this?”

  My eyes water and lips shake.

  “You don’t know a fucking thing!” Nix shouts. “You’ve been sheltered. Protected from this shit. Just get out of here.”

  He turns from me. I run to face him, but another pair of hands grab me. They are slippery. Drops of water from damp hair run along my bare shoulder. I kick and fight and try and pull away.

  “Stop Rose.”

  I know that voice. Sven. He tugs me back.

  “Nix. I'm sorry. I'm sorry! I had to try...”

  “Fucking damn it!” Nix seethes, pressing his thumbs into his eye sockets.

  Sven bends down and throws me over his shoulder. I punch and kick his back, but he’s completely unphased by my useless attempts to get free. He stomps up to the room and kicks the door closed, blocking it with his body before setting me down.

  “Why is he doing that to Nix?” I scream. “And her! Nix said she has PTSD. Like Lacey. He’s so sick, and his blood runs through my veins. Eww! I hate it. I hate it.”

  I scratch my skin like I can somehow get myself free of the vile running through my system. I sprint to the restroom to shower, but before I can get very far a pair of hands grip my waist, stopping me in my tracks. Those damn hands keep stopping me. I feel like I'm going crazy.

  “Stop! Stop!” I yell.

  The anger doesn’t last long as my pain morphs from anger to tears. I hear Sven sigh before he turns my body and pulls me into him, holding me against his hard chest.

  “You’re nothing like him, okay? Blood is just a bit of water, salt, protein, some red blood cells, white blood cells. It’s chemistry. Biology. That’s it. You aren’t him. Quit punishing yourself.”

  “We have to help Nix.”

  “Okay, we’ll help him. Alright? Can we just get back to the house? See Lacey. Then we’ll help Nix. Deal?”

  “You help Nix get his girl back you can call us even.”

  “It means that much to you? You’ll forgive me for kidnapping you and getting you shot if I get her back.”

  “Yes. I really care about Nix. I don’t understand why, but I feel like I’ve known him my whole life. I know I just met him and he’s only helping me because my dad kidnapped his girlfriend, but still. I care about him. He’s been really nice to me.”

  Something resembling softness crosses Sven’s expression.

  “Nix cares about you too little Rose. I promise. Now, go get showered, okay? Let’s just sleep this one out.”

  I nod dumbly. Sven pats my ass softly, sending me off. I hear him sigh heavily as I enter the bathroom. I feel shut off as I stoically wash down my body. I have one change of clothes, but it’s in the car so I wear the same clothes over again. When I walk back out Nix is there, leaning against the doorway. I look down at my feet. I don’t see where Sven is, but I know he’s in here too.

  “I'm sorry for snapping at you Rose. I don’t want you to feel ashamed of yourself, and I definitely don’t want to fight with you. You have to understand though. I'm worried about Sage, and I'm worried about you too. It’s a difficult game I'm playing, and Rose, you really don’t understand all that’s going on. I'm not trying to be mean here, but it’s true. There’s a lot that you don’t know and aren’t ready to hear.”

  “I'm sorry I took your phone. I just want my dad to stop hurting you. I feel disgusted that you are doing all this stuff to protect me, and my DNA is the reason you are hurting. I don’t know how to reconcile with that.”

  I look up to see both Nix and Sven looking over at each other. There is so much being said between the two of them. It’s that silent language all men seem to understand, but I have no clue what any of it means.

  “Rose you should sit,” Sven finally says.

  I stare at the two of them. There’s something in his tone I don’t like.

  “What’s going on?”

  “It’s best you sit Rose,” Nix reiterates.

  I do. They aren’t being condescending, cocky or teasing, which for the two of them is huge. They have something big to tell me. Nausea swells inside me. I regret ever touching my dinner tonight.

  Nix grabs a chair and pulls it in front of me, straddling the chair backwards so his bodies facing towards me leaning against the back of the chair. Sven stands in the back of the room in a white t-shirt and black slacks with his arms crossed, watching like a guard.

  “I didn’t want to tell you this. Not now. Not until it was safe to do so. But I feel I am making you needlessly suffer. I don’t want to do that to you. Sven told me what you said about your blood being dirty and then just now you said your DNA was hurting me. Like it’s somehow your fault he has Sage. Rose…”

  Nix rubs his thumbs together and takes several deep breaths.

  “This is going to shock you, but please let me explain everything before you get pissed. There’s more to the story than you realize. Okay?”

  “O… kay.”

  I glance at Sven.

  “Rose. I… Shit, this is hard. Rose, Sven didn’t kill me back by the cabin because I'm your brother. We are related. Same mom, same dad, different life. My blood, my DNA is just as corrupt as yours, except I act on it and you’ve fought it. Quit hating yourself.”

  “You’re lying,” I say quickly
. “I don’t have anyone.”

  “I'm not lying Rose.”

  “YES, YOU ARE!” Because if you’re not then where the hell were you?

  Sven steps forward. “He’s not. But breath. He’ll explain.”

  “You knew?” I shriek. “I was alone! Dad was arrested and I was alone. I was a complete and total mess. No one loved me. Where the fuck were you?”

  I stab Nix with my finger.

  “I was hurting! You’re not my brother! I never met you before all this started! You weren’t there.”

  “I know. I never met you either, but once in a while, I’d see you when I was with dad. I watched you grow up from behind the scenes. Marketta would show me pictures, videos, sometimes my mom would drive by and you’d be playing in the yard.”

  “I… no.”

  I shake my head rapidly.

  “Let me explain, okay? I was born first. Obviously. I lived with our parents before you were born. It was all… normal I guess. Normal as things can be with the two of them. Dad had plans for me. He was grooming me to be like him. Mom went along with everything. The perfect housewife.”

  Mom?

  “Then you were born. This perfect little girl with blonde hair and blue eyes. Just perfect. Immediately dad laid out his plans for the both of us. The problem was that our plans wouldn’t work as long as we stayed together as a family. We were separated. I went to live with mom, Marketta took you. Then he was arrested. I was a criminal by then. I did whatever ‘dad’ said. Mom hated me for ruining her marriage and abused the shit out of me. It’s no big deal, just letting you know. I could have met up with you when he was arrested, but I so fucking jealous of you. You are family though and I didn’t forget that. I didn’t want to jump into your life, being a criminal and all. I thought you’d been through enough of that with dad.”

  I can’t process this. My mind feels like it could explode. Combust into a million tiny pieces. I put my face in my knees.

  “I have a mom.”

  “Had.”

  I shoot up. “She died?”

  “Yep. She’s drinking her life away with Satan now. Good riddance.”

  My jaw drops. That’s so cruel.

  “She was an awful person Rose.”

  “Well apparently so are you!” I say, shooting to my feet. “And Sven is too. I can’t do this. I can’t.”