Free to Love (Noella’s Life Unleashed Book 2)

by Lillianna Blake

  “But he’s so young.” I groaned and closed my eyes.

  “He’s my age, Noella. Do you really see me as very young?”

  Her words made me pause. I would always see Hanna as my little sister, but I also knew that she was a grown woman who was about to become a mother. I didn’t really see her as that much younger than me. Yet, when I thought of Wes, I pictured him as a barely-out-of-college frat boy. Why was that?

  “No, I don’t. Thanks, Hanna, I’ll think about it.”

  After I hung up the phone, I considered the way I felt about Wes. Was he just so immature that he seemed a lot younger to me? I knew that wasn’t the case. Wes liked to joke and play around, but when it came down to it he gave me great advice. He seemed to have a lot of life experience, just from what he’d shared with me, and I knew there was a lot more that he hadn’t shared. I hadn’t asked.

  He was always asking about me and my life, but I rarely dug into his. Maybe it would help if I changed that.

  As I joined Nicole in the kitchen to help prepare for the gathering, I received a text from my friend Zoe. With her intense sense of style and her sensual nature, I usually turned to her when it came to advice about dating and men. Apparently, she’d gotten wind of my situation.

  Just kiss the man. Then you’ll know.

  I rolled my eyes and fired a text back.

  Which one? Justin or Wes?

  My cheeks flushed at the thought of kissing Wes. I was really letting my imagination run wild.

  She texted me back right away.

  Both!

  I had to laugh.

  “Who is that? Wes?” Nicole grinned as she glanced over at me. Her hands were deep in hamburger meat, otherwise she might have snatched my phone.

  “No, my friend Zoe.”

  “Oh, Zoe! I’ll bet she has a lot to say.” She laughed.

  “Yes, she does.” I rolled my eyes again and tucked my phone in my pocket. “Now what can I do to help?”

  “If you want to grab the condiments I have a tray we can put them on. It’s tucked between the cabinet and the fridge. Wherever things will fit, you know?”

  “Yes, I do.” I grabbed the tray. When my phone rang I huffed with annoyance. I loved Zoe, but she was really pushing it. I swiped without looking at the name as I was grabbing bottles out of the fridge.

  “Zoe, stop it, I’m not going to kiss him!”

  “What?” Nicole laughed as she looked over at me. “Are you going to kiss the boy?” She fluttered her eyes.

  “Poor guy, he’s missing out then.” Wes’s voice filled my ear and the bottle of ketchup slipped right out of my hand. Luckily it was plastic.

  “Wes!” I gulped out his name.

  Nicole’s eyes widened as she looked at me.

  Chapter 11

  “So who are you not going to kiss? Justin? Because I fully support that decision. You should take things slow with him—very slow.”

  I could fully picture Wes’s smile as he spoke.

  “No, not Justin—I mean, no one. It was just a joke. You know, Zoe is always giving me a hard time.”

  “Okay.” He drew the word out. “I just wanted to check with you to make sure I wouldn’t be imposing if I came today.”

  “You won’t be. Nicole was very eager to invite you.” I shot a look in my friend’s direction.

  She winced and turned back to the hamburger meat.

  “Nicole’s eager, but what about you? I know this is your time to spend with her. I don’t want to take away from that.”

  “I’m looking forward to it.” I realized as I spoke those words that they were true. I was looking forward to seeing him again. “Will you come?”

  “I have to now. I have to make sure you don’t kiss him.” He laughed, but there was a hint of seriousness in his voice.

  I grinned as I realized he had no clue that I was talking about him.

  “See you in a bit then.”

  “Can I bring anything?”

  “Nicole, do you want Wes to pick anything up?”

  “Maybe some flowers—and chocolates.” She winked at me.

  “Stop it!” I hissed.

  “Stop what?” Wes laughed.

  “No, nothing, Wes. Just you.” I tried to calm my spinning head. Between Nicole’s comments and the powerful impact that Wes’s voice had on my senses, it was hard for me to think straight. “If you want to come, of course. If something else comes up, I’ll understand.”

  “I do want to. I’ll be there.”

  After he hung up, I turned to face Nicole.

  “Promise me that you’re not going to do that to me when he’s here.”

  “I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist.” She offered a sheepish smile.

  “My goodness, give me something to do to get my mind off all this! Please!” I snatched the bottle of ketchup off the floor while Nicole rattled off a few tasks I could do.

  I was just finishing up the last task of clipping tablecloths onto the two picnic tables when I heard a familiar voice. I turned as the wind stirred my hair around my face and whipped at the tablecloth I’d just fastened.

  “I didn’t know what kind everyone might prefer, so I brought a few.” Wes held up a bag with three bottles of wine in it.

  I couldn’t respond at first. I was stunned by his presence—by the wave of his hair in the breeze, the blush in his cheeks, and the intensity of his eyes on me.

  “Oh no, do they not drink? I didn’t think about that.” He frowned. “I can put these back in my car.” He started to turn away.

  “No, wait.” I touched the curve of his arm. It was a sudden movement that surprised me, and the instant my fingertips grazed his skin, a shock bolted through me. “Sorry, it’s perfect. They love wine. I was just surprised to see you.”

  “Did you think I wasn’t coming?” He glanced back, smiling.

  “I guess it still surprises me—to see you—in the flesh, I mean.” I wiped my hands along my jeans and avoided his eyes.

  He grinned. “Ah, yes, I guess that can be unsettling—for both of us, but here we are…” He took a step closer to me. “…in the flesh.”

  “I see that.” I laughed and tried not to think about how loud and awkward it sounded.

  “Good.” He tipped his head toward the house. “Should I take these inside?”

  “Sure, I’d like you to meet Nicole.”

  As I led Wes toward the door, I tried not to think about him being right behind me. It was so easy for me to criticize every aspect of my body when I knew he had a clear view of it.

  He was thirty, handsome, and fit. He could have any woman he wanted. He could have a much younger woman. My bottom hadn’t been the same since my first pregnancy. Oh, good grief! I hoped that he wasn’t looking at it now.

  I pushed the door open and stepped into the kitchen.

  “Nicole, Wes is here. He brought some wine.”

  “Yum!” Nicole smiled as she peeked past me at the man who stepped into her kitchen. “Nice to meet you, Wes.” She thrust out her hand. “I’ve heard so many great things about you.”

  “Really?” He chuckled. “That’s a relief.” He handed over the wine after he shook her hand. “Thanks for the invitation.”

  “Absolutely. We’re glad to have you. Excuse me, you two, I was just on my way to check on Melody.” She set the wine down on the counter then headed out of the kitchen.

  I knew she was just giving us the opportunity to be alone together, which was the worst possible thing she could do.

  “She seems nice—just the way you described her.” His gaze passed over mine, but didn’t linger.

  “I should probably check on those tablecloths.” I brushed past him and back through the door. I heard him follow after me, but tried not to look at him.

  Zoe’s text burned in my mind. Just kiss him, she’d said. How ridiculous was that?

  “They’re still here.” Wes grinned as he stepped up beside me. “You did a good job of clipping them on.”

  I gla
nced at him and found him so close that our faces almost brushed. I took a big step back and nodded.

  “Yup, they’re not going anywhere.”

  “Noella, are you really okay with me being here?” He studied me for a long moment.

  Chapter 12

  “Of course, yes. I’m glad you came.” I swallowed hard.

  “You don’t seem like yourself.” He remained still as I created more distance between us. “I just don’t want to ruin your day.” His cheeks flushed as he looked away from me. “Maybe this was a mistake.”

  “No, it wasn’t.” I surprised myself by reaching for his hand. “I’m sorry, Wes.”

  “For what?” He curled his fingers around mine and looked into my eyes.

  “I just don’t know how to be around you, I guess.”

  I didn’t realize that we were holding hands until he tightened his grasp some.

  “Just be you. That’s the person I admire the most.”

  “This is me—awkward and weird.” I shrugged and drew my hand away from his.

  “You’re not awkward and weird, you’re an amazing person. If I made you nervous with my behavior yesterday, I can explain—”

  “—It’s fine. Really.” I smiled, then glanced toward a group of Nicole’s friends who were walking into the backyard. She’d told me she’d invited some of her friends to meet me, as they were big fans of my friend Samantha’s book series and we hoped to all have a good chat about it. I had never been so relieved to see unfamiliar faces.

  I walked over to introduce myself and noticed through the corner of my eye that Wes remained by the tables. What was he going to explain? If I hadn’t cut him off would he have made it clear that he was just joking around? Or would he have clarified that he really was interested in me?

  I realized that I was more afraid of finding out than not. Once I knew for sure that he wasn’t really interested, I’d feel even more foolish.

  Luckily the barbecue soon went into full swing and I couldn’t help but relax. I was surrounded by great people and of course Wes had them all in stitches with his great sense of humor. I noticed several of Nicole’s friends eyeing him. A pang of jealousy squirmed through me and I did my best to make it go away. He wasn’t mine, and several of Nicole’s friends were single. There was no reason for me to stand in the way.

  When Wes casually draped his arm across my shoulders and leaned close to my ear, I tensed.

  “Can I tell them about that time you hunted down the girl who stole my wallet?”

  His brows furrowed as he seemed to notice my tension and just as casually he drew his arm back. “You don’t mind if I do?”

  “No, it’s fine.” I laughed and felt myself blush at the same time.

  He turned back to his eager audience and described going out on a blind date and discovering his wallet missing after his date turned out to be completely rude. She’d disappeared with it in a taxi.

  I’d managed to hunt her down using social media profiles and pictures she’d posted, and after my strongly worded e-mail posing as a lawyer, she’d delivered it right back to him.

  “Noella was my hero.” He grinned. “I was sure I’d have to get everything all new, which would have been a pain, not to mention how creepy it would be for someone to have all my information. But the woman brought it back to me and even apologized, begging me not to get her into trouble.” He smirked. “I thought about toying with her a bit, but I didn’t want her to worry too much so I said I wouldn’t.”

  “Wow, even a gentleman to criminals.” Nicole raised her glass of wine to him. “Sounds like you’re a bit of a hero too.”

  “He is.” I smiled and shared how Wes had helped to get me my current job.

  As the barbecue began to wind down, I helped clear up the plates and cups. One of Nicole’s friends, Sherry, walked over to me with a small smile.

  “I have to say that you’ve inspired me.”

  “I have?” I raised an eyebrow and smiled in return.

  “Honestly, I’d given up on the idea of finding a partner, but after seeing you and Wes together—wow! I know it’s real now and I know I want it. How long have you been married?”

  I froze at the question. An instant later I noticed that Wes was within earshot, his attention turned toward me. What was I supposed to say? Would he hear it all? What would he think?

  I forced my smile wider.

  “Oh, thank you, but we’re just friends—very good friends—we’ve been friends for quite some time.” I stumbled over my words, before adding for a final time. “Just friends.”

  “Wow, you fooled me.” She laughed as she raised her eyebrow. “Well, either way, you two reminded me that I want that kind of relationship in my life.” She gave my shoulder a light pat and then walked away.

  When I looked away from her, I found myself lost in Wes’s eyes.

  He started to walk toward me, but I abruptly turned with my pile of plates and headed for the kitchen. There was no way I could talk to him at that moment, with these thoughts rolling through my mind.

  I headed inside, dumped the plates and cups in the trash, and then tried to figure out where to hide. It would be rude to stay in the house, but it would be worse to have to look at Wes again after the conversation I’d just had.

  Just friends chanted through my mind. The phrase made my heart ache and as a feeling of dread built up in my stomach, I realized that this was much more than a crush. I’d fallen hard for Wes and clearly other people could see why. But why would any of them assume that we were together? I recalled that most of Wes’s jokes and stories involved me and we’d remained beside each other for most of the barbecue. It did make sense that Sherry would have assumed.

  I bit into my bottom lip as I looked out the kitchen window. I didn’t see any sign of Wes. I knew I had to go back out there.

  First, I poured myself another glass of wine.

  Chapter 13

  When I stepped out through the back door and onto the rear deck, I braced myself for whatever might come next. What I didn’t expect was for someone to grab me by the crook of my arm the moment the door swung shut. I gasped and jerked back, which caused my wine to splash all over Wes’s crisp white t-shirt—one which of course did nothing to hide his physique.

  “Oh, Wes, I’m so sorry!” I looked from the splatter of red wine on his shirt to the surprised expression on his face.

  “I’m the one that should apologize. I never should have startled you like that. It’s just that you seem to be avoiding me and I was hoping to get a second alone with you.” He met my eyes.

  “I was startled.” I nodded slowly, then looked away from him. “And I may have been avoiding you.”

  “But why?” He caught the curve of my cheek and turned my face back toward him.

  When my eyes met his, my entire body began to melt. I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could, Nicole walked up to us.

  “Oh no, Wes, what happened?” She eyed him with concern.

  “Just an accident.” He let his hand fall back to his side as he smiled at her. “No great tragedy, this shirt was due for retirement.”

  “Oh, nonsense, I can get those stains out, no problem. Noella, show him to the master bedroom. I’m sure Gavin has a shirt in there that will fit him. Don’t worry about which one, he’s not picky about his clothes.” She patted Wes’s shoulder. “Go get cleaned up. We’re going to start a fire and roast some marshmallows with the kids.”

  “That sounds delicious.” He nodded to her.

  As I led him into the house, my heart pounded. The memory of his touch on my cheek was enough to wipe all other thoughts from my mind, but still I was very aware that he was only a few paces behind me.

  “It’s just in here.” I pushed open the door to the bedroom, then stepped inside. It wasn’t a large space and the bed took up most of it. I negotiated around it to the closet and opened the door for him. “Do you want to pick something out?” I glanced back at him just as he pulled off his stained shirt.r />
  The revelation of his bare chest was enough to make me sway back against the doorframe. It wasn’t just his taut skin or the thickness of his muscles. It was the way his body rippled gracefully with the movement.

  “I trust your taste.” He tipped his head toward the closet. “Whatever is available is fine.”

  I turned back to the closet so fast that I nearly lost my balance. I caught myself on the doorframe and grabbed the nearest t-shirt. When I turned back, Wes was only a foot or so behind me. He looked into my eyes as he took the t-shirt.

  “Is this okay?”

  “It’s fine.” He nodded, then pulled it on. “Thanks.”

  As I started to move past him, he took a step in the same direction, blocking my escape.

  “Can I just have a moment with you?”

  “We’ve had several moments.” I slid my hands into the pockets of my jeans and did my best to take a casual stance.

  “Several awkward and weird moments. Do you want me to leave? I will.” He dipped his head toward mine, still so close that I could feel a hint of his body heat against my skin.

  “That’s not what I want.” My heart slammed so hard against my chest that I was sure he could hear it.

  My mind fixated on Zoe’s text. Just kiss him. I felt my lips turn toward his, despite my complete resistance. I was drawn in a way that I’d never experienced before. Rarely had I initiated intimacy when I’d been married. It just wasn’t my role. But in that moment, I wanted to tangle my hand in his thick hair and draw his mouth to mine.

  “It isn’t what I want either.” His head tilted toward mine, as his words jarred me out of my fantasy.

  “Excuse me.” I took a step back before we could get any closer. “We probably should get back.”

  “Yes, we probably should.” He offered me his hand.

  For a moment, I hesitated. I wasn’t sure what it would mean if I accepted the offer. But I couldn’t bring myself to decline. I laced my fingers through his and we walked back out of the house together.