Finding Joy (The Joy Series)

by Jenni Moen

  Silence.

  “Allie, I know you probably won’t believe any promises I make today, but I promise you it will never happen again. I’ll never put her first again. I told her I’m done with her. I told her that I was coming back to you. If you’ll have me, I promise I’ll never abandon you again, and I’ll spend every day proving it.”

  “If I’ll have you? Didn’t you read my email?” she asked. “I said I would never let you go and I meant it.”

  “Allie, can you turn around so that I can see you? Or can I come on the other side? I need to see your eyes when I tell you that I love you.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Babe, I don’t care what you look like. It’s just bruises. They’ll go away.”

  “It’s not just bruises.”

  “It is. And in a few weeks, you’ll be good as new. Besides, a few black eyes and scabby cheeks can’t touch your beauty. You’re pretty inside out.”

  She pulled the blanket up over her nose again before she rolled over. “You may change your mind about that,” she said, pulling it down again to reveal a wide smile and no front teeth.

  “Oh, Allie,” I said, before I could get my filter in place.

  Now that I could see all of her face, I knew why Ethan was supposedly combing the streets to find the asshole who did this to her. Both eyes were black. Only the one cheek was scraped up, but the underside of her chin now included a row of black stitches that was probably three-quarters of an inch long.

  “Hideous, right?”

  “Gorgeous,” I said, pulling her into my chest as gently as I could. “Positively breathtaking.”

  “Adam, my teeth are gone. I look like a hillbilly from hell.”

  “We’ll get those fixed. No big deal,” I said. “Unless you want to keep them that way.”

  “No!” she said. “I have an appointment with an oral surgeon later this afternoon.”

  “Are you sure that’s a good idea,” I asked. “Maybe you should wait a few days?”

  “They said the sooner I could get there, the better. I’ve got to get this fixed as soon as possible. I can’t stand to look at myself.”

  “Can I take you?” I asked.

  “Yes, you can take me,” she said, tracing her fingers lightly down my t-shirt. “I like your shirt … though that song is really annoying.”

  I looked down at my ‘What does the Fox Say?’ shirt. “Yeah, I picked this up in the airport. I couldn’t come home and beg your forgiveness in a dirty shirt. So do you?”

  “What? Know what the fox says?” she asked.

  “Forgive me?” I asked.

  “Yes, I forgive you … ‘You had me at hello,’” she said, quoting Jerry McGuire.

  “Good because ‘you complete me,’” I said, quoting the second most famous line from the movie.

  “He was the one thing I followed through in my life, the one thing I didn't give up on. I was good at loving him.”

  I raised an eyebrow in question. “Untamed Heart,” she said.

  Nodding, I countered, “There are millions of people in this world, but in the end it all comes down to one.”

  “Crazy/Beautiful,” she sighed happily. “To me you are perfect. And my wasted heart will love you. Until you look like this …” She made an ugly face, baring her snaggle teeth.

  That one I knew. It was from Love Actually, one of the best Christmas movies of all time, in my opinion. This was going better than I could’ve hoped.

  “It doesn’t matter if the guy is perfect or the girl is perfect, as long as they are perfect for each other.”

  “Ahhhh, Good Will Hunting,” she said. “I love that one.” For a head injury, she was playing the game well today.

  She smiled a toothless grin up at me. “Tell her that you love her. You’ve got nothing to lose, and you’ll always regret it if you don’t,” she said, again quoting Love Actually. I think quoting the same movie twice was like a triple word score.

  I could tell her that I loved her, but I’d already done that. I was going to do one better and stick with the same movie for a quadruple word store.

  “Beautiful Allie,” I began. “I've come here with a view of asking you to marriage me … sometimes things are so transparency, they don't need evidential proof … of course I prediction you say no but it’s Christmas and I just wanted to… check.” My broken english echoed the movie.

  I looked down at Allie, who was just staring up at me, blinking rapidly. I’d struck her speechless. I brushed a stray strand of her hair behind her ear and then traced the line of her jaw with my thumb. I wanted to kiss her … well, but for the teeth thing … I wanted to kiss her.

  “I’m serious, Allie. I will make it my life’s mission to make you happy. Will you marry me?”

  Her black and blue eyes began to water. “Thank you. That will be nice. Yes be my answer,” she said just as the beautiful Aurelia had in the movie … except with a slight lisp.

  “I’m so glad to hear that,” I said. “Because call me old-fashioned, but I think parents should be married.”

  She sucked in a sharp breath, and it whistled through the gap in her teeth. I stifled the urge to laugh.

  “No, Adam. You don’t need to do that for me. I don’t need it. All I need is you. If I can just spend every day of the rest of my life with you, I will be happier than I ever dreamed possible.”

  “I know I don’t have to, but I had a lot of time to think this morning while I was flying across the country to get back to you. And this is what I want. I want this for us. You’re gonna be a rock star of a mom, and I … well, I need to redeem the Hill name. Just because my parents were terrible at it doesn’t mean I will be. I know you won’t let me suck at this.”

  “You won’t suck,” she said, running her hands up my chest. “You’ll be great without any help from me, but … Adam … are you sure? I don’t want you to feel pressured into this.”

  “I’m sure,” I said, kissing her on the forehead. It was the only undamaged area on her face. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.

  “Just make me one promise,” I said, looking deep into her eyes.

  “Anything.”

  “Promise me you won’t walk home late at night anymore. My multiple personalities can’t take it. It’s hard for me to lay here trying to be all romantic when a part of me wants to get up and find some ass to kick.”

  “I really want you to kiss me right now, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “I just had the same thought. It’s too bad you’re so sore. I can think of a way to put that gap to use.”

  “Gah,” she said, slapping my chest just as the door opened behind us and then quickly clicked shut again. Rubber Cat jumped up on the bed, put two feet on her side, and peered over her at me.

  “Somebody missed you,” she said. I reached over and scratched under his chin.

  “Did you teach him to open and close doors while I was gone?”

  She giggled again. “He’s one very smart cat.”

  “No, I am. Which reminds me … I want to show you something. Can you get up?”

  “Yeah, I need to anyway. We need to go see a man about some teeth.”

  “Are you sure? Cause maybe we could keep you like this for just a little while.”

  “Yeah, I’m sure,” she said, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. She winced as I pulled her to her feet.

  I wanted to pick her up and carry her, but doing so might hurt her more than just letting her walk on her own. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Yeah. Show me what you got.”

  I led her into the bathroom. When I was standing in front of the mirror, I reached back and pulled my shirt over my head. I watched her expression in the mirror. Her eyes went wide, her chin dropped, and she made that whistley sound again. Hearing it, she self-consciously covered her mouth with her hand.

  “Wow,” she said. “That’s one sweet pussy tattoo. Only you could make that look m
anly.”

  I laughed. She didn’t need to know that I’d gotten it in a drunken stupor. She didn’t need to know that I didn’t remember it and had no idea where the idea had come from.

  The new tat was as perfect as my toothless girl.

  CHAPTER 23

  Alexis

  “You look stunning,” Carly said. “Are you ready to go?”

  Standing in front of my bedroom mirror, I gave myself a final once-over. My face had mostly healed. The bruises had faded away to nothing, and the newer skin on my cheek and chin was just barely detectable. I pressed my lips together to blot my lipstick and smiled at my reflection. My new teeth gleamed back at me. Unless told, no one would guess that they were implants.

  The only real reminder of my injuries was the scar under my chin, but I’d been assured that it was also healing nicely. The stitches had come out a few days before so I wasn’t going to have to get married with a train track of black threads on my face.

  “Yep. Let’s do this,” I said, brushing my hands down my less than conventional wedding dress. It wasn’t white and fluffy, and I didn’t look like a princess. But as my mother had reminded me, we had been ‘living in sin for months.’ I probably didn’t need to be wearing white anyway. Black would do just fine and would be more infinitely more appropriate for the party we had planned for later.

  “Yay,” Carly said, jumping up and down and clapping her hands together. “To the courthouse we go!”

  Adam

  “Nice,” Burke said. “I expected less from you. Really, I did.”

  He was referring to my clothes. Allie wasn’t expecting much either, but I’d gone all out today with an actual suit and collared shirt. I hadn’t worn a tie, but I’d sent my shirt to the cleaners. It was nice and crisp and a little itchy. “Yeah, well, I had to church it up a little for my girl.”

  “I halfway expected you to show up in a t-shirt. One of those sorry tuxedo t-shirts with the little bowtie printed on them.”

  “I have one in the car. I thought I’d change before we go to the bar.”

  “Of course you do. Do you have my shirt?”

  “I do, and don’t think you’re getting out of this. My cat shits in the toilet and yours doesn’t,” I said, mocking him.

  “I don’t have a cat,” he huffed.

  “The hell you don’t.”

  “Yeah … okay … there might be some truth to that. Are you nervous?” he asked, shifting from one foot to the other.

  “Not at all,” I said, checking the time on my phone.

  “Then why are you looking at your phone?”

  “Because she should be here by now.”

  “She’ll be here,” he said, stomping off while furiously punching buttons on his phone.

  I would bet everything in my pocket … including one big ass diamond ring … that he was calling Carly to find out where they were. Honestly, he seemed more nervous than me.

  If I was nervous, it wasn’t because I was getting married. It was because this was the first time in more than two weeks that she had been out of the apartment without me.

  After the attack, she took the rest of the year off from work. They had found someone else to take over her work on the big case that was going to trial next month. If she was disappointed about it, she hadn’t let on.

  In fact, I think she really enjoyed her time off. For the last two and half weeks, we’d done nothing but lay around the apartment, reading books and watching movies while she recuperated. I had ventured out a couple of times without her to take my finals and to pick up Lizzie for a visit, but we’d mostly just been lying low and pretending to be hermits.

  We had stayed in by ourselves on Christmas and hadn’t even gone to my graduation ceremony. She had offered, but I’d been relieved to skip it. I didn’t need it. I knew I was graduating. I also knew I needed a job since I turned down the internship in L.A. The studio had called the day after I’d returned to Manhattan, but turning it down had been a no-brainer.

  Allie and I had spent the last two weeks making plans … lots and lots of plans … and none of them involved moving to California. With the baby coming in less than two months, this wasn’t the right time for us to be moving across the country. I had, however, been secretly searching online for two-bedroom apartments. Just like Allie had been secretly searching online for baby beds and other baby paraphernalia that would soon be taking over our apartment.

  Whenever I’d caught her, she’d snapped her computer shut and looked at me with a hand-in-the-candy-jar expression. She still seemed to think that I was going to backpedal on the whole baby thing, but I was all in. This was the right thing for us.

  “Are you nervous?” Ethan asked, walking up. He’d clearly come straight from work and was also dressed in a suit, though he looked more comfortable in his than I felt in mine.

  “No. Why does everyone keep asking me that?”

  “Gee, I don’t know – because two weeks ago you didn’t know where you stood with each other and now you’re promising the rest of your life? Have you considered that this may be a little rash?”

  I laughed. “No. And I don’t think you believe that either.”

  “No, you’re right. You guys are going to be blissfully happy,” he said, looking wistfully at the brunette next to him.

  Wait. What? She looked vaguely familiar but I couldn’t place her. One thing I did know: she was not Jillian.

  She had a few years on Jillian. And, unbelievably, looked even more uptight in her pencil skirt and button-down shirt.

  “Hi, I’m Adam,” I said, sticking my hand out to shake her hand.

  “Hello,” she said stiffly. “I’m Constance. Ms. Harper’s secretary.”

  Oh. Oh. Well, this was an interesting development.

  “I’m sure Allie will be happy you’re here,” I said, even though the only time Allie had ever mentioned her was after we’d seen her at the Halloween party. Remembering the Brittany Spears outfit, it suddenly made sense why she was here with Ethan today.

  “I’m sure she won’t care in the least,” she said briskly. “I only came because Mr. Anderson said you needed two witnesses.”

  I arched an eyebrow at Ethan, and he looked away. “Of course. We really appreciate you being here … to witness and all. Mr. Anderson always thinks of everything.”

  “Yes, Mr. Anderson is very conscientious at work. I’m sure he is in his relationships as well.”

  “For the love of God, can you two please stop calling me ‘Mr. Anderson’ and using words like ‘conscientious.’”

  I was unable to stop myself from laughing. “I’m going to go check in with Burke to see if he’s heard from the girls. Glad you could make it, Constance.” I excused myself and left them to figure out what she should call him.

  “They’re here,” Burke said, flying around the corner and nearly taking me out. “But Carly is insisting that Allie make a grand entrance.”

  “Sounds good to me.” I couldn’t wait for her grand entrance.

  We walked back over to Ethan and Constance, who were standing silently, neither one looking at the other. “Okay, well, let’s get this party started. The justice said just to knock when we were ready. So I guess we should go in.”

  Constance eyed Burke warily. Since women usually eyed Burke warily, this was nothing new.

  “I see you have plenty of witnesses so I’m going to go ahead and excuse myself.”

  “You should stay,” Ethan responded too quickly. “Allie would want you here. Plus, we’re going out afterwards to celebrate.”

  She was already backing down the hall. “Ummm, I don’t think so,” she said to him, before turning to me. “Congratulations … er … Mr. Harper.”

  “Mr. Hill,” I said, laughing. “Tomorrow, Allie will be Mrs. Hill.”

  “Oh, right. How silly of me. You know what? I’m just going to go back to the office and get started on changing her name on everything. She’s going to need new business cards … a new nameplate for her door.
Really, there’s a lot to do.”

  “She’ll appreciate that, I’m sure.”

  “Right then,” she said, turning on her heel and scurrying down the hall.

  “Thanks a lot, cock blocker,” Ethan said, shoving me.

  “I don’t think there was anything to block,” I said, smirking at him.

  The judge made small talk with us while we waited for the girls. After a few minutes, there was a light rap on the door. Ethan opened it for the girls, and Carly walked in first.

  Behind her stood Allie. My beautiful, gorgeous Allie.

  Dressed in black, she didn’t look like the bride that she had probably envisioned as a little girl, and for a split second, I wondered if we’d made a mistake doing it this way. She deserved the big, beautiful wedding of her dreams. But she had insisted that she didn’t want it. I had to admit that with all the issues we’d had with our families, it was easier this way. I just hoped that she didn’t look back on the most important day of our lives and feel cheated.

  She wasn’t getting cheated on the honeymoon though. Tomorrow afternoon, we were leaving and would be gone for 10 days. She had no idea and thought she was going back to work in two days. But I’d arranged it with her dad, and he’d taken care of everything at the office. She’d already been out for two and a half weeks. By the time we got back, she would’ve been off for almost a month, but he assured me this wasn’t a problem. Since he was the boss, I was willing to take his word for it.

  Our apartment was littered with pictures of Allie with her parents at their place in the Caymans. She had a lot of great memories from there, and that’s where I wanted to take her. We were going to start off the new year by making our own memories. The last year had been a rough one, but this was going to be our year.

  The problem with the Cayman plan had been that I had no choice but to tell her parents about the wedding. Allie had wanted to wait and tell them after it was over and done. I’d weighed my options and decided that using their house was more important than keeping them in the dark about it. It wasn’t about the money. We could have stayed at a hotel, but I wanted the memories. I wanted the familiarity. I wanted to be a permanent fixture in Allie’s life.