Finding Joy (The Joy Series)

by Jenni Moen

  The price of full disclosure had been agreeing to allow them to join us on the last two days of our vacation. It had seemed like a small price to pay. We would have eight days alone before they made their appearance. Surprisingly, I wasn’t dreading it. Allie would be happy to see them, and it didn’t bother me at all to have them tagging along.

  As Allie walked toward me, my heart stuttered. To look at her, you would never know that 18 days ago she’d had the shit beaten out of her and her teeth knocked out. She looked fantastic.

  “You dressed up,” she whispered.

  “All for you.”

  “I like it.”

  “I thought you might.”

  “Well, if we’re ready to start,” the justice of the peace interrupted. “We are gathered here today to witness the union of Adam and Alexis ….”

  _________________________

  “I can’t believe you guys are married,” Carly squealed. “Burke, you asshole. When are you going to make an honest woman outta me.”

  “I knew this was going to happen,” Burke muttered, as he walked away.

  “Does it feel different? I bet it feels different. Just think, Allie, you’re Mrs. Adam Hill.” She seemed to swoon on her feet.

  “Yes, I am,” Allie said proudly. Just hearing it said, made my chest swell.

  “But seriously. I’m so excited for you. As the maid of honor, I want to propose a toast.” She raised her beer bottle, and Brian, Krista, and Barnacle gathered around. Burke wandered over again with a fresh beer in his hand.

  “I thought I was the maid of honor,” Ethan interjected.

  “You were the man of honor,” Allie whispered.

  “To my favorite couple,” Carly began. “From the first day Adam brought her to the bar, I knew. I knew that she was a game changer for him … and for all of us.” She stopped to wipe one of her eyes that appeared to have sprung a leak.

  “Look, I’m messing up my makeup, and I have to get on stage in a minute.” She fanned her face with her hand. “Anyway, I have always known that you are perfect for each other. Even when you each had your doubts, I knew that your love would transcend all things, and it has. So may you have many years of happiness. God knows you’ve earned it.” She raised her bottle and clinked it against Allie’s before knocking it against everyone else’s.

  It was Allie’s turn to wipe her eyes. “Thanks, Carl.”

  “My pleasure,” Carly said. “I thank my lucky stars that Adam brought you around. If he hadn’t, I would still be hanging out with my pain-in-the-ass sister all the time.”

  “I like your sister,” Allie replied.

  “I’m out,” Ethan said, putting his palms up and walking away.

  “Jackass,” Carly muttered under her breath. “Burke, I think it’s time.”

  “Time?” he asked, running his hand warily through his hair.

  “Yes. Time for a wardrobe change. Let’s sing these newlyweds a song or two.” She leaned over and whispered, “If you’d told me a year ago that I’d be a wedding singer, I never would have believed it.”

  “I don’t think this venue qualifies you as a wedding singer,” I said, gesturing to the grungy interior of The Shelter. It was a dive bar at best. Burke had hoped for something bigger for New Year’s Eve, but it hadn’t worked out. Since Carly’s brother owned The Shelter, it was always an option. Honestly, I was glad we were here. Allie and I had spent a lot of time here over the past seven months. We’d had our first date here. We’d fought here. We’d made up here. In many ways, I’d fallen in love with her in this dark, dirty bar.

  “What’s up with this?” Burke asked, pointing to his chest. He had on the t-shirt that I’d had made just for tonight, and true to his word he had paired it with a pair of chaps and cowboy boots.

  “What?” I asked innocently, as Carly burst into laughter.

  “Oh!” she exclaimed. “’Cockdonkey.’ That’s hilarious. Where did you find that?” ‘Cockdonkey’ was a phrase that the girls frequently used when referring to Burke, and it was now proudly displayed across Burke’s chest.

  “I had it made special for you,” I said.

  Carly smiled appreciatively. “Well, I love it. It’s positively fantastic.”

  “We are not friends,” Burke said, pointing a finger at me. He turned it on Carly. “Let’s go, wench. Our fans are waiting.”

  She turned and walked toward the stage. “Don’t trip on your chaps while climbing onto the stage, John Wayne,” she threw over her shoulder. “You’ll look like a real cockdonkey if you fall on your face.” He hustled up beside her and smacked her on the ass.

  The band started off with a dedication ‘to the newlyweds groping each other in the corner.’ I tried to focus on the music and the New Year’s energy emanating from the crowd, but I couldn’t. All I could think about was Allie and that she was mine … and that she would be mine forever.

  “Are you ready to go, Mrs. Hill?” I finally asked, as the band climbed off the stage for their mid-set break. I couldn’t wait any longer.

  “Mmmmhmmmm. Are you, Mr. Hill?”

  “Yes. I do believe I’m done sharing you for the night,” I said, winking at her. “Let’s get out of here.”

  We said our goodbyes and then pushed our way through the rowdy crowd to get to the front door. “I have a surprise for you,” I said, while hailing a nearby cab. “A couple, actually.”

  As soon as I gave the cab driver the address of our destination, the first surprise was blown. “Where are we going?” she asked, since we weren’t going home.

  “We got married at the courthouse and had our reception in a stinky bar with a bunch of strangers who were there only because it’s New Year’s Eve. I thought I’d better have something special planned for our wedding night if I want this marriage to start off on the right foot.”

  “I think it’s been an excellent start,” she said, lacing her fingers through mine.

  I brought our entwined hands to my mouth and kissed the top of hers. “I think it’s about to get a whole lot better.”

  A few minutes later, we pulled up in front of the W Hotel. Her eyes gleamed with recognition. “The W, huh?”

  “This place means something special to me,” I said, pulling her through the lobby toward the bank of elevators that would take us up to room 620. It must have been midnight, because the people in the crowded bar began counting down from 10.

  Ten. Nine.

  “Don’t we need to check in?” she asked. Her head swung back and forth between the check-in desk and the noisy bar.

  Seven. Six.

  I shook my head and gestured for her to get into the elevator. “It’s all taken care of. Everything is taken care of. Don’t worry your pretty little head about a thing, Mrs. Hill.”

  Three. Two.

  The elevator doors shut just as the crowd chanted ‘one,’ and I pushed her up against the wall as we sped to the sixth floor. “It’s midnight.”

  She smiled coyly at me. “I heard. Are you going to kiss me now? And ring in the new year with me?”

  “Oh, I plan on ringing in the new year all right.” She was held captive between my arms, and I took a second to appreciate how beautiful she was. I tipped her head up and kissed my way up her neck to the tip of her scarred chin.

  “Ugly, right?” she murmured.

  “No. Beautiful. Everything about you is perfect.”

  “Perfectly flawed?”

  “No. Just perfect. I see no flaws here.” I muttered as I kissed my way across her jaw line to the spot just below her ear.

  Her breath hitched at the same time that the elevator dinged and the doors opened. She squealed in surprise when I scooped her up in my arms and marched us down the hall. Standing in front of our room, I awkwardly pushed the plastic key into the slot and jostled Allie around in the process.

  “Is this …?” she asked.

  “Yes.”

  “This is our room?” She looked up at me with wide eyes as I swung the door open and carried he
r over the threshold into our room. Nothing had changed since we had been here last. It was exactly the same, down to the throw pillows on the couch.

  “I had no idea you were so sentimental,” she said, as I placed her on her feet again. She wrapped her arms around my neck and walked me backwards. When the back of my legs hit the bed, she pushed me backwards and pounced on me like a cat.

  “I can be,” I said, flipping us both over so that I was on top of her. “And I’ve got a lot of tricks up my sleeve, Mrs. Hill. Just you wait.”

  “I’d like to see some of those tricks now.”

  She was in a playful mood, and playful usually worked well for me. But it wasn’t going to work for me tonight.

  I’d never used the phrase ‘making love’ to describe anything I had ever done with a woman … even Allie. It felt contrived and awkward to me. What did it mean to ‘make love,’ anyway? You either had love or you didn’t. Slamming the headboard against the wall certainly wasn’t going to make love appear out of thin air.

  But as I hovered over my new wife, that’s exactly what I wanted to do. I wanted to make love to her. I wanted to take my time. I wanted her to remember her first night as Mrs. Hill as being something special and different. There’d be lots of bathrooms suitable for bending her over and pounding her in. We had years and years for that.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” she asked, sensing my change in mood.

  “Tell me,” I began. “What did it feel like to be the most beautiful woman in the bar tonight?”

  She smiled cautiously. “What? What are you talking about?”

  “I was just wondering. ‘Cause you were. You always are.”

  “Are you trying to butter me up?” she asked, grinning now. “You know you’ve already got me where you want me.”

  “That I do,” I said. And then I kissed her. I kissed her like I would’ve kissed her in the justice of the peace’s office earlier this afternoon if it wouldn’t have been considered indecent. It was slow and deep, and I could feel all the way to her toes. Tongues tangling together like a couple of teenagers, she shuddered beneath me.

  Having fully worked over her mouth, I moved to her neck and kissed my way across her collarbone from one side to the next. She smelled good, not like the bar where we spent our first few hours as a married couple. She tangled her fingers in my hair and moaned a little as I worked my way down to the neckline of her black dress.

  It was too restrictive. I had to get rid of it. Reaching underneath her, I felt around for a zipper. Dresses with a neckline this low usually zipped up the back.

  When I didn’t find what I was looking for, I rose up on my knees and flipped her over beneath me. I pulled the zipper down and slid the dress down her legs, revealing a whole smorgasbord of skin to which I’d yet to pay service. I pushed her hair aside and started at her neck again, kissing my way down her spine and reveling in the goose bumps that popped up along the way.

  When I got to the straps of the G-string, I ran my finger along one and popped it lightly. “What’s this about?”

  “It’s my something blue,” she answered.

  “I like it. Don’t make a habit of it, but I like you throwing me a curve ball every now and then.” I flipped her over on her back again and removed the something blue in the process.

  “I’m getting dizzy from all of this flipping,” she murmured.

  “Sorry. I had to. If I keep looking at your backside, I’m going to end up giving you a good pounding.”

  “So I’m not going to get a good pounding?” she murmured as her lips trailed across my chest.

  “No pounding. Just good.”

  She ran her nails up my back, and it was my turn to shiver. Taking a nipple in my mouth, I sucked on it until it was hard between my teeth. Nipping at it, I realized that soft and gentle wasn’t really my thing. I tended to the nipple next, trying to find a compromise somewhere in between.

  Allie moaned and arched up, pushing her breast into my face and I greedily took as much of it in my mouth as I could. She ran her hand down to my hard cock and encircled it with her soft fingers. As she worked her hand up and down, I slipped a first finger inside her and then a second. She sucked in a breath as I rubbed gently against her sweet spot. When multitasking became too much for her, her hand movements stopped, but her hips rose, grinding into the palm of my hand.

  “I’m going to make you mine now,” I said, slipping my fingers out and rubbing my cock against her entrance.

  She moved against me. “I already am yours.”

  Her head tossed on the bed as I pushed my way slowly in, not stopping until she was full to the hilt and I was balls deep. In and out, I went. Slowly. Methodically. Her legs wrapped tighter around my ass, her arms tighter around my back. “You’re killing me,” she murmured.

  “Well, that’s certainly not my intent,” I whispered. “Let’s see what we can do about that.

  I pulled as far out as I could without losing my connection with her and then slammed back inside.

  “Yes!” she breathed. “Like that.” I reared back and did it again and then again and again. Each time, she groaned and her nails razed my back, leaving her mark there.

  So much for not giving her a pounding, but if a good hard fucking was what my wife really wanted, that was going to be what she’d get. “Oh, to hell with this sweet stuff, I’m flipping you over again.”

  I lifted myself off of her. Before I could get an arm around her waist, she was on all fours with her ass in the air. God, I loved this woman.

  I moved inside of her, losing my mind with every stroke. It didn’t take long before we were both panting each other’s name and begging for release. I held off as long as I could, which was exactly two-point-four seconds after she’d stopped screaming my name and her arms had given out. Clutching her hips on both sides, I poured into her, making her mine once and for all.

  It would never get old. Never. Sex with Allie would never ever get old. I didn’t for one second believe all the naysayers who’d told me that it would all be over after I slid that ring on her finger.

  I collapsed on top of her. When she grunted, I slid off of her and flipped onto my back. “You know,” I said, staring at the ceiling as I caught my breath. “We were in this room when I realized how far in over my head I was.”

  Allie rolled over onto her side and slid a leg over me. “Is that right?”

  “Yeah. If you remember, this is where I asked you to be my girlfriend.”

  “Oh, I remember. Up to that point, I was ‘that girl you were seeing.’”

  “Uh huh. But the reason I came that night, even after I said I couldn’t, was because my feelings for you had gotten all twisted. I didn’t know what, but I needed to do something about it. Then I walked into the bar and saw you chatting it up with that bartender, and I knew.”

  “You knew what?” she asked. Her voice was lazy and content.

  “I knew I didn’t want any other man making a play for you. It was then that I knew that I was in love with you and wanted you in my life. Permanently.”

  “It was one of the best nights of my life, too.”

  “But this one’s better,” I said, running my hand along her smooth back.

  “It is,” she sighed happily. “I’m glad you brought me here. It’s fitting. Thank you for being my husband,” she said, her voice trailing off as sleep began to take over.

  “Thank you for being my wife.”

  CHAPTER 24

  Alexis

  I was reluctantly pulled from sleep just after two in the morning. “What is that?” I asked, sitting up in bed.

  “It’s your phone.” His voice was groggy with sleep.

  “Should I answer it? It’s late.”

  “It’s probably Burke, just being an ass.”

  “I’m going to answer it,” I said, rolling out of bed.

  I felt my way across the dark hotel room until I found the coffee table where I’d tossed my clutch. “Hello,” I scratched out, after I finally
dug my phone out.

  “Hi, Alexis. I’m so sorry to call you so late and tonight of all nights,” Marlene apologized. “But it’s Lizzie again.”

  I listened to her talk … absorbed every word she said ... but try as I may, I couldn’t make sense of any of it.

  Adam

  We went in together, even though I knew the girls needed each other more than they needed me right now. I was going to let Lizzie know that I was here and then I would give them some space.

  Allie had filled me in on everything Marlene had told her on the ride over here. She’d said it numbly, as if it wasn’t the most horrific thing to ever leave her lips.

  According to the neighbor who had been giving Marlene updates since Lizzie had moved back home a few weeks ago, Amber had slipped tonight. I wasn’t surprised. New Year’s Eve was a drinking holiday, and Amber had been dry for less than two months. I’d been expecting it to happen at some point. I knew from experience that rehab didn’t usually take on the first try.

  If the police report matched the neighbor’s story, it would say that Amber had passed out on the stoop downstairs. Being the good daughter that she was, Lizzie had gone down to help her up to the apartment. According to the neighbor who claimed to have witnessed the whole exchange, Amber had berated Lizzie all the way up the stairs, calling her a useless slut and blaming her for her father leaving years ago.

  Just as Lizzie reached the top step, Amber had grabbed her by the arm. Lizzie had tried to fling her off, but hadn’t been able to break Amber’s grip. When Amber had tugged on her again, Lizzie had spun around and begun yelling in Amber’s face. As Amber had pushed past her, she’d given Lizzie a shove. Lizzie’s already compromised center of gravity had worked against her, and she’d lost her balance. Since her mother still hadn’t let go of her, they had both tumbled down the stairwell to the floor below.

  According to Marlene, the official cause of death was ‘placenta abruption.’ I hadn’t asked Allie to explain what that meant. I would look it up on the Internet later. But what it meant right now was there was no baby. Lizzie would never hold her baby girl, not even a few short minutes. And she would never pass her over to Allie.